'Jonie Turns The Tables' was about two girls, Amy and I, who get even with a male predator - I'm still not telling how true that was, but Amy is real - she's a good friend and is a young, good-looking RG. I'm also real, but I'm not so young and I'm not an RG; I'm a TV.

And therein lies the problem!

I've wanted to be a girl for as long as I can remember - since about 12 years old at least - but it was mostly suppressed all the years (closeted, as they say) until fairly recently. I suppose I could now say I'm a TS, as I spend as much of my life as possible as a woman - in my head, in the way I act and the way I dress. The trouble is I have these ugly bits between my legs that I wish just weren't there. If I won the lottery, they'd all be gone, like very fast!

Meantime, while I save for that and all the other bits and bobs that will make me look more like I feel, I have to suffer. I love to wear dresses and skirts, from ankle-length to micro-mini; mostly that's not a problem - except tight, clingy ones - but I also love tight, tight jeans and hotpants - then I really do suffer, because to get a girl's outline means tucking the rubbish bits away, very tightly. The bit in the middle I can live with - it can be totally squashed away without pain - I'm not into pain; I like being smacked, but that's it. In any case, I know that is the one bit that is needed in the operation, one wonderful day, that will make my dreams come true.

No, it's the other two bits - by the end of an evening out, even without any disco-dancing, I'm almost crippled with the pain of these two abominations, in their despicable sac, protesting at their attempted confinement and trying to squeeze out sideways, or any otherways. I've tried all the TV 'tricks', pushing them up into their sockets, etc, etc - doesn't work for me, so they've got to go, as soon as!

How, when I don't have the cash at the moment?

Well that's where I hope you'll come in. Somewhere out there, preferably in SE England somewhere, reasonable driving distance of Brighton, somebody knows a properly, medically qualified surgeon that has a different agenda - that would take pleasure from emasculating someone, maybe to keep the 'trophies' on show, maybe to cook them and serve them up to friends - I'm completely open to suggestions. All I ask is to end up with a completely smooth place where they once were, without getting infected or deformed by bad medical practice.

If anybody's at all interested, they can do a search and find pics of me on Flickr.com, Fantasygirlonline.co.uk, UK Angels and one, quite recent, on RealBrighton.com

Is there someone out there that can help me? I do hope so!

Love, Jonie XXX