Matthew said Lukas could fuck him once, so he knew what it felt like, and he said he would suck Lukas’ cock, though as soon as that was over, it was curtains for his dick.

Lukas got up from the couch and walked up to his bathroom. Matthew followed him, still naked, but for the socks. And still with an erection. He ducked into his room on the way.

‘What are these?’ Lukas said.

‘They’ll make you feel good.’

Matthew had decided to waste a few of the tablets on Lukas. He may as well go out with a bang, seeing as how he wasn’t going to be feeling much pleasure after today, not having a dick, though he would still have his arsehole to get fucked in, and he liked that, judging by the noises he made, and how often he wanted to do it.

Matthew figured he had fucked Lukas something like fifty times since his balls had been done, and half of those times had been Lukas’ idea. It wasn’t like he was going to miss anything, not really, not once his dick was done.

‘I don’t want to do this. Okay. I’m telling you, so you understand me. I don’t want to do this.’

‘Just swallow the tablets, Luke.’

Lukas threw his head back and swallowed the tablets. ‘I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about my dick – my penis. I don’t want you to do this to me. Do you understand that? I’m asking you. I’m telling you. I don’t want to. Can you please not?’

Matthew stopped. ‘I said you could fuck me.’

‘There really is something wrong with you, isn’t there?’

‘Have you taken your testosterone today?’

‘What?’

‘Have you taken it?’

‘Yes.’

‘Maybe you should take some more.’

‘It doesn’t work like that. It’s slow release.’

‘Just take some. Where are they?’

They were in Lukas’ bathroom, and Matthew started rifling through the drawers. He found the testosterone, and saw the bottle of Rogaine in there, thinking what a joke that had been, how Lukas had been trying to get his pubes to grow.

‘Do you still use this?’

‘What?’

‘Do you still use this stuff?’

Lukas looked confused.

‘I don’t want you to have pubes. Do you understand that? I like you without them.’

‘How did you…?’

Matthew was tipping the Rogaine into the sink.

‘Here,’ he said, when he had finished. He threw the bottle of Rogaine into the bin. ‘Take these.’ He had three of the testosterone capsules in his hand.

Lukas took them. He swallowed them with a glass of water, but his hand was shaking.

Matthew could see their reflection in the mirror. He could see how much better Lukas looked than he did, looking so clean and perfect and blond with his red lips and his flushed cheeks. Matthew felt like kneeing him in the balls.

Well he had no balls, Matthew said to himself, and smiled. They’d been cut off. He’d done that to Lukas. And now he was going to cut his dick off. Lukas was going to let him. And then he’d be more fucked. Totally fucked.

Suck fucking shit, he said to himself.

‘You ought to take one of these now too.’

‘What? Why?’

Matthew had the Capanol in his hand, and he was pressing a tablet out of the blister package.

‘Well it’s going to hurt, isn’t it? Do you want to feel it?’

‘I’m not doing it. Okay. I’ve changed my mind. I’m not letting you. I don’t want to.’

Lukas tried to push past him, but Matthew held his arm out.

‘Here. Take it.’

Lukas tried to duck under his arm, but Matthew grabbed him. He swung him round and pushed him up against the vanity, keeping him locked there with the weight of his body, so that the two of them were pushed right up against each other.

Matthew’s cock was pressed right up against Lukas’ stomach. He came, blowing his load onto Lukas’ white T-shirt. It was warm and wet and held between them.

Matthew reached forward and opened Lukas’ mouth, using both hands. Lukas tried to struggle, tried to turn his head away, but Matthew was too strong for him. He pushed the Capanol into the back of Lukas’ throat and closed his mouth, holding one hand under Lukas’ chin and the other on the top of his head.

‘I’m not letting go till you swallow it. You understand that, you little fuckwit?’

Lukas struggled and Matthew pressed his knee up into Lukas groin. He kneed him hard, kneeing him in the cock once, and then again, and then a third time.

Lukas swallowed.

Matthew let him go and he fell forward, holding his groin. There were tears in his eyes.

Matthew swiped what was left of his come off his stomach, and wiped it into Lukas’ hair.

Lukas turned away, and went to walk out of the bathroom.

‘Where the fuck do you think you’re going?’

Lukas stopped.

‘We’re going to have a shower,’ Matthew said, as though it was self-evident, an obvious thing, something that Lukas should have known.

Lukas turned around.

‘Come here,’ Matthew said.

Lukas came towards him and Matthew wrapped his arms around him. ‘It’ll be over soon,’ he said, holding Lukas gently. He brushed one hand through Lukas’ hair and felt his come all over it.

‘Come on,’ he said, wiping his hand down the back of Lukas’ T-shirt. ‘We’ll have a shower.’

Lukas nodded. He stepped out of his shoes and pulled his clothes off.

‘I’ll wash you okay,’ Matthew said, when they were in the shower. ‘I’ll do it like you do. Make you properly ready.’

Lukas nodded, and as Matthew soaped his body, Lukas’ cock stood up erect. Matthew smiled. He knew it was the tablets. They were working already. He soaped Lukas’ back and his stomach and his legs, soaping everywhere except for his groin, and then he turned his attention to it. He soaped Lukas’ cock, working it like he was pulling it, soaped around it, and worked Lukas’ empty little half sack between his fingers. Lukas put his hands on Matthew’s shoulders, and Matthew could tell, from the way he was standing, that Lukas was close to coming.

He got the loofah, and ran it between Lukas’ legs. And then he tugged on Lukas’ cock again, while he was working with the loofah. Lukas tried to put his thighs together and his grip tightened on Matthew’s shoulders. Matthew tugged a little harder and saw Lukas shoot his little load of fluid.

Man, he was going to be fucked now. He wouldn’t be doing that too many more times in his life.

‘Did that feel good?’ Matthew said, standing up and wrapping his arms around Lukas. Their soapy bodies were slippery against each other, and Matthew came.

‘Can you do me now?’ he said.

Lukas nodded, and Matthew stood still, with his legs apart, while Lukas soaped and scrubbed his body, working his arse crack and all around his groin and soaping his cock. Matthew came again, while Lukas was working on it, blowing his load onto Lukas’ face, because Lukas was crouching down in front of it.

Lukas stood up, shaking his head and trying to wipe it away. It was in his eyes, and all over his nose and his lips.

‘Sorry,’ Matthew said. He held Lukas’ head under the shower and wiped it with his hand.

When they were finished, Matthew toweled Lukas, and Lukas’ cock was still hard, ready for its last day on earth, Matthew supposed. It wouldn’t be attached to Lukas for much longer.

When he had finished, Lukas fell into the chair.

‘Are you alright?’

‘I feel all loose, and my head’s ringing. I can’t see properly. It’s like everything’s all colourful.’

‘Too bright?’

Lukas nodded.

Matthew wished the tablets made him feel like that still. He knew what it had used to be like when he had first started taking them, though he supposed Lukas had taken the Capanol as well. That would have to help. That would have to feel pretty good.

‘So you want to fuck me?’

Lukas shrugged.

‘You may as well. It’s your only chance.’

‘Matty…’

‘What?’

‘Can you please not…’

Lukas looked up at him. His eyes were unfocussed, and his head was swaying.

‘Come on,’ Matthew said. He put his hand down and brushed Lukas’ hair with his hand. ‘It’s going to be alright.’

Lukas stood up and wrapped his arms around him. He held him tight, in a vice-like grip.

‘What?’

‘I don’t want you to.’

‘You’ll like it.’

‘I won’t. I don’t want it to happen.’

Matthew picked him up. He carried Lukas into his bedroom and put him on his bed.

And then he lay down beside him.

‘Well are you going to fuck me now?’

‘Aren’t you going to give yourself an enema?’

‘What is that?’

‘It’s in the vanity. In the bottom. Under the bottom drawer.’

Matthew went into the bathroom and found it where Lukas had said. There was a box. A box of Walgreen’s Ready to use Enema. Matthew picked it up and frowned at it. It was for the relief of occasional constipation, apparently. It was latex free, had a comfortable, lubricated tip and an easy, soft, squeezable bottle. Even so, he didn’t really understand what it was. He read the instructions.

‘Fuck,’ he said to himself. He didn’t want to stick one of these things into his arse.

He hesitated, and then supposed he’d better. It felt quite good, a lot better than he had expected, and when he forced everything out, it came out in a rush, and he felt clean. He put the box away, and saw the lubricant that Lukas had been using in the cavity. He supposed he’d better use some of that also. He put some on his arsehole, and then walked up to Lukas’ room feeling it sliding all around between his arse cheeks.

Man, this was so gay. He felt like such a faggot.

Lukas’ door was closed.

Matthew turned the handle.

It was locked.