Tim's Last Orgasm 18: Nathan's Surprise


By: Charlieje

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[GAY] [PENECTOMY] [MINOR]

Tim goes to Nathan's big moment, but it turns out a lot different than he would ever have expected; but that is not the only surprise in store for Tim.


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XVIII Nathan's Surprise

"Whatever you do, do it safely!" That's what Carlos had said to Tim shortly before he left Cancun. The words came crashing into Tim's brain, along with a perfectly vivid image of the Mexican teen's pretty face, as Tim and Ricky munched on a hot dog in the kitchen of Ricky's home. Was what they were planning to do safe? Did Tim really want to do this? Did it really matter any more? Tim knew that his lust for his older friend was just that: LUST! He liked Ricky well enough, but he didn't love him and doubted that he ever would. When he thought about it, he didn't even know what Ricky's motives were. If he went through with this and allowed his virgin anus to be penetrated by what he already knew was a substantial penis, he would no longer be a virgin, ever! Was getting off really that important to Tim?

It doesn't matter any more, Tim told himself. I've lost Carlos, so all bets are off. He wanted me to practice safe sex so I wouldn't pass anything on to him, and there's no danger of that now. Carlos has made his decision and I'm not a part of it, so what difference does it make?

Tim was lying to himself and he knew it. Carlos had made it abundantly clear that he still loved his gringo friend and cared for him, but that love was as a friend and surrogate brother, not a romantic lover. Nevertheless if Tim were to go ahead and have anal sex for reasons other than love, then as a consequence ended up with some physical damage, or worse still become HIV infected, he'd have a lot of explaining to do to his friend. He realized as they finished their lunch and Ricky led him up the stairs to his bedroom that he was doing this out of anger and frustration, not love. And to make matters worse, he was dreading it, not looking forward to it! How in the world could he possibly expect to achieve an orgasm while someone was doing something, anything, to him that he found so utterly disgusting?

Dr. Emory had received the call from Cancun and had gone into action. Whatever that kid had said to his colleague Dr. Smith had conned him too, but he, Dr. Emory, knew things aren't that simple. Dr. Smith had told him to hold off for now, that he thought the kid was starting to come around, but Dr. Emory could smell a lawsuit, and he couldn't allow that. He had all the information he needed, and he was only too pleased to help his colleague and former classmate, to say nothing of the distressed teenager. This was going to take some careful planning though. After all, the good doctor didn't want to jeopardize his own practice or get in trouble with the law.

"I'm going to need a good nurse, nursing assistant, someone with medical training," the doctor said to an employment agency he'd dealt with before. "I want someone who is from some other country, someone who wants to make a quick buck and then leave the country. Someone who cannot work legally in the US would be fine. Oh, and it's got to be a man."
"Strange request," the voice came back over the phone. "You planning to do something illegal?"
"I'd rather not discuss what I'm going to do," the doctor said. "Suffice to say I'm not going to hurt anyone, but it's still something I'd rather not have my regular staff involved with. Can you supply someone?"
"I'm not sure. I'm thinking of a certain EMT who's been working for me, but he may have already left the country. I'll check and get back to you."
"An EMT would be perfect," the doctor said and hung up.

*******************

"You haven't said three words since we came in the house," Ricky observed as he started to get undressed. "Is something wrong?"
"Actually yes," Tim replied. "I can't do this, Ricky. I'm sorry, but I just can't..."
"Sure you can, Tim," Ricky said. "You make it sound as if you're submitting to some sort of torture! It's not, Ricky! I've done it lots of times, and guys have done it to me. It's great, man! Believe me, it's no big deal! And if you're anywhere near as frustrated as I think you must be, you're almost certain to get off. Trust me, Tim, once you've been fucked you'll be knocking on my door every day wanting more. If you're afraid of the pain..."

"I'm not afraid of pain, Ricky," Tim replied quickly. "It's just not something I want to do. I'm sorry, man, I really like you and I hope we can be friends, but bein' a fuck buddy just to get off... well, I'm glad you enjoy it, but it's not for me. I'd better go, Ricky. I'm sorry..."

Tim cried as he drove home from Ricky's house. He knew he had done the right thing by declining anal intercourse, but in so doing he had also deprived himself of access to Ricky's beautiful cock. He would have loved to play with it, touch it, taste it, and he knew if he did have access to it that he would watch in absolute awe as it exploded in orgasm. In his mind he imaged himself about four inches away as volley after volley of hot, white sticky semen gushed out the end and all over his face. That would have been so incredibly awesome! But Ricky didn't want to cum in Tim's face, he wanted to anoint his butt, and Tim could see no pleasure in that. But why did doing the "right thing" have to be so damned difficult?

Tim pulled ‘way back on his swimming after his encounter with Ricky. The other boy didn't exactly treat him badly, but he didn't fall all over himself to be friendly either. Tim explained to the coach that he was having to work longer hours, which was true, and he simply wasn't getting enough rest. Todd understood and kept Tim on the roster, but Tim's steady improvement leveled out and it wasn't long before he was hardly ever going to practice.

By early March there were signs of spring everywhere. Coach Masterson, always ready to take advantage of any situation, was anxious to get the spring program under way. "Tim, may I see you after class today?" he said as they warmed up.
"Yes, sir," Tim responded. "Anything wrong, Coach?"
"No, not at all, Tim. I just need to talk to you for a few minutes." Assured now that he wasn't in trouble, Tim got into the basketball game they were playing, even managing to score 6 points. Compared to Terry's finesse on the court that was a horrible showing, but Tim was happy with it. Terry was very quickly becoming a star on the school team. After the game, the whole class headed for the shower except Tim, who followed the coach to his office.

"I'm hoping to get a spring soccer team going this year," he told him when they were both seated. "Then there's baseball. Will you be trying out for either of them, Tim?"
"I... I don't think so, Coach," Tim replied. "I've been working a lot of hours, and..."
"This is your last chance," the coach reminded him. "Next year you'll be in college, and it'll be a lot easier to get on the teams if you've played here in your senior year. Besides, we're gonna be needing a good pitcher. If I remember correctly you're not bad."
"But surely you also remember that Randy always beats me in tryouts. Actually I'm starting to feel more secure on first base."
"Randy's not an option," Masterson said with a grave look on his face. "He's fried his brain so bad his coordination is off. He can't pitch worth a damn any more."

Tim eyed his coach in disbelief. "I see Randy almost every day," he said. "He doesn't seem any different to me."
"He seems to be getting through most of his life ok, but he can't pitch. I don't think he wants to anyway. He would rather go somewhere and smoke pot, or shoot up, or whatever he does. Nevertheless even if he were the best pitcher in the country I wouldn't want him on my team. I don't want drugs in my locker rooms, and kids who are high are more prone to getting hurt. So how about it, Tim? Can I count on you?"
"I... I'll think about it and talk to my boss," Tim said. "If I can get the time off, I'll try it."

The coach thanked him, shook his hand warmly and said that was all he could ask. Tim headed for the shower. He picked up his towel, then stripped and began lathering up. The last of the other boys were just leaving as Tim entered, and he noticed with some satisfaction that they took no notice of him. They were used to his condition now and having someone without all his body parts was as normal to them as someone with glasses. As he stood facing the shower, his face directly in the warm stream of water, Mike Andrews stepped into the neighboring shower. Tim ignored him, but he was acutely aware that Mike was watching him intently.

"You playin' ball this year?" Mike finally asked when he realized that Tim wasn't going to say anything. "That's what Coach wanted, right?"
"Yeah," Tim replied. "I told him I'd think about it."
"We need you, Tim," Mike said as he stopped his pretense of showering and stood facing him, his 7 inch erection rising. "I need you! We can have a lot of fun after the games."
"What kinda fun?" Tim asked. He could feel his phantom erection growing in synch with Mike's real one. He and Mike had never exchanged more than a few words, but Mike was certainly easy to look at. He was pretty sure he was being propositioned, but Tim wasn't about to respond until there was no doubt.

"I know you and Randy used to go to his tree house," Mike said. "I been there a couple times with Randy myself, but I quit when he started doing drugs. I got no use for drugs. But anyway, if you're interested, my folks never get home before six, and I'm sure we could find something to do..."
"A lot of things have changed," Tim said.
"Yeah, I know," Mike returned. I know it's gotta be tough for you, not having your dick to play with. But I still got mine, and I think I could make it worth your while..."
"What exactly did you have in mind?" Tim asked evenly. His phantom hardon was really raging now, his heart racing. This was the first time he'd been propositioned in a long while, and he really wanted it to turn into something good for both of them. He hadn't even considered what Ricky was offering as a proposition; Ricky had just wanted his ass!
"Well, I figure there's only one way you can get off now," Mike said. His voice sounded strange, as if it was very difficult for him to get the words out. "Do you... I mean, I assume you've had..."
"You're trying to ask if I've ever been fucked, right?" Tim heard himself blurt out.

Mike's expression changed. He looked as if he'd just been slapped hard across the face. "Well... Uhh... Yeah. I was tryin' to find a way to put it more gently, but I guess that's the bottom line. Most guys like it you know, once they try it. And I assume since you don't have any other way to get off..."

Tim's heart was pounding so hard he was sure Mike could hear it. He could feel his phantom cock twitch with his pulse, just the way his real one used to do. He wanted desperately to say yes, to open himself to the throbbing member he was now staring at. For reasons he couldn't understand, being penetrated by Mike seemed less distasteful than it had with Ricky. He'd been told many times that anal sex was his only option now, his only hope of ever having anything approaching a normal sex life. But what about AIDS? How many other assholes had that gorgeous prick invaded? How many times had Mike been on the receiving end? Was he infected? And perhaps more important, was that the only reason he wanted Tim, for an easy, sure fuck?

And what about that feeling of absolute revulsion Tim was now experiencing? What about the pain? The very thought of what else that hole was used for? He had purposely been reading stories about anal sex on the Internet, trying to get his mind around the idea, but so far that was one of the very few topics in those stories that did not turn him on; it usually had the exact opposite effect. He knew that as badly as he wanted, needed intimacy with someone, he still wasn't ready to take any sort of foreign object, even the drooling cock he was now looking at, up his butt. "I'm sorry, Mike, but I... I don't do that," he said weakly.
"Have you ever tried it?" Mike pressed.
"No, and I don't expect I ever will," Tim replied.
"Ok, no problem, Tim. I just thought I'd offer. And if you ever change your mind..."
"I'll keep you in mind, Mike," Tim said. Indeed he did keep Mike in mind. As he towelled himself dry and got dressed, his mind was spinning with the possibilities. He knew he'd been depressed, and he knew why. Now here was a golden opportunity, and he had shut it down as if the mere idea was preposterous! He knew somehow that the next time he came as close as he had with Ricky he wouldn't stop, and that thought frightened him.

As he was getting into his car, Mike appeared out of nowhere. "I missed my ride," he said breathlessly. "I don't suppose you could give me a lift?"
"Sure," Tim said before he'd had a chance to think about it.
"Nice car," Mike said as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"Thanks," Tim said. "It was a combination Christmas and early graduation present."
"Your dad must be loaded," Mike observed.
"Not really," Tim returned. "He had an extra good year and decided to share it rather than save it. He was gonna put the money in my college fund, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get a scholarship, so the college fund isn't so important."
"Yeah, I heard about that. Nice going, man. Academic scholarships are hard to get."
"Athletic ones are harder for me," Tim said with a chuckle. "Which way ya going?"
"I guess I'll just go home," Mike said as his hand drifted to Tim's leg. "I'll navigate."

Tim followed Mike's directions, turning right here, left there, as he tried to decide what to do with the hand on his leg. It was warm and sunny today, and Tim had worn shorts - baggy shorts that would offer no resistance if that hand began to wander. Tim couldn't decide whether he wanted it to wander or not. So he tried to ignore the hand, but it felt really good being pursued. "Right there," Mike announced, "the one with the red trim."
"Nice house," Tim commented.
"Yeah, it's ok. Wanna see the inside?" Ok, moment of truth. Wasn't this what Tim had been longing for? What on earth was the matter with him, anyway? Here was a guy, nice enough, good looking, and he obviously wanted to play. Tim had told him very clearly that he wasn't into anal sex, and still Mike had persisted! Wasn't that what he'd wanted? Finally with a shaky voice he agreed, "but only for a few minutes," he said.

Tim accepted Mike's offer of a coke, then followed his friend up the stairs to his bedroom. It was truly a palatial home, well appointed and impressibly furnished. Tim admired it, but at the same time he appreciated his own home, which was much smaller and modestly furnished, but more than adequate for their family. Even thinking these thoughts as he followed Mike down the upstairs hall, he was totally unprepared for the magnificence of the bedroom he was entering.

The room was at least twice the size of Tim's, with a large wide screen projection TV on one wall, an impressive stereo at one side of the screen. There was a PC desk on an adjoining wall with a 21 inch monitor, scanner, high end color laser printer, and of course, a state of the art ergonomic supportive chair. On the opposite wall was a doorway to a bathroom that was the size of most bedrooms and included a shower stall, Jacuzzi and double sink. The bed was of course a king size, with a huge canopy and individually controlled remote comfort settings. On the third wall was a doorway to a walk-in closet, which again was as large as a lot of bedrooms. Tim was totally aghast! "Don't let the room intimidate you," Mike said with a grin. "I'd rather have something smaller and more intimate, but this is the smallest room in the house."
"All of this, and you don't even have a car?" Tim questioned.
"Yeah, well we're not as loaded as it appears," Mike explained. "My mom and dad are both in real estate. It's their thing, all that's important to them I guess. Personally I'd much rather have a smaller house and a cool car like yours."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Tim agreed. He didn't want to offend, but this really was the most severe case of overkill he had ever seen!

"So, why don't we get comfortable?" Mike suggested as he began peeling his clothes. As he did so he pulled open a drawer in his bedside table. He reached in and pulled out some items and placed them on the table. By now he was naked, and very obviously aroused. Tim was still fully dressed, and there were no signs of his phantom erection. True, he wanted the gorgeous cock that he was staring at, but he didn't want it in his mouth or up his ass, he wanted it! He wanted it to be his own! He wanted it attached to his own body! He wanted to feel the elation of his own touch, of Terry's. He wanted to feel what he knew Mike was feeling at this very moment: the admiration of someone regarding his erect penis! That was the sensation that he was never going to feel again, and right now that desire was totally consuming him.

He looked at what Mike had placed on the top of his bedside table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a package of condoms, a box of tissues. "Looks like you got all the bases covered," he commented.
"I try to be ready for anything," Mike said. "C'mon, get your clothes off. I promise you, you won't regret it."
"That's all you want? To fuck me?"
"What else is there?" Mike said. "It's not like we can have a mutual jerkoff or anything. Man, I'm doing you a favor! You told me you haven't got off even once since your surgery. That's no way to live, man!"
"I... I can't," Tim said. "This isn't right, Mike. I can't just come in here and bare my butt and let you plow into it. I mean, what about AIDS?"
"I got condoms, Tim," Mike pointed out. "It's just as much a risk for me as it is for you, you know. So why don't you just relax and enjoy, man! What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is, that's not what I want," Tim said. "I guess I'm not sure what I want, but this isn't it. To me sex equates with love, and I can't get into one without the other. I might allow someone to do that to me someday, but if I ever do it's gonna be someone special and it's gonna mean something." His eyes were still on Mike's magnificent cock, but still his phantom hardon that had been predominant for so long, was totally absent. "I'm sorry, but this was a bad idea. Thanks for the coke, man. I gotta go."

Tim's eyes were overflowing again as he drove away from Mike's house. This was only the second time he'd been given any sign whatsoever that someone desired his body, and he had turned down both offers flat! How could he have done that? He had to realize that he wasn't a whole male any more, and offers like that weren't going to be coming every day of his life. Things were different now, and Tim had to face that reality and live his live accordingly. But every time he thought of what had been proposed, with Mike standing there naked, that tube of K-Y lube within reach, Tim shuddered. He suddenly realized that he might very well give himself to someone, some day; but if he did, it wouldn't be as a result of pure animal lust the likes of which he had just almost experienced. Life had just got more complicated for Tim than he had ever counted on. He had just raised the bar one more level. In spite of his very obvious disability, his excruciating need for sex he couldn't have, Tim realized that his standards were now higher than millions of other equally handsome teens, only with a penis: Tim was simply not about to be involved sexually with anyone unless it was motivated by love!

The next few weeks seemed to fly by at a dizzying pace. Tim tried out for the baseball team and secured the pitching position easily. Randy was there, but the coach wouldn't even let him try out until he could show that he was drug free, and Randy refused to take the urine test. Tim felt some degree of remorse, thinking that he was taking advantage of Randy's misfortune. "It's not misfortune," the coach pointed out. "He's made his choice, the same as everyone else on this team. He could have been a great pitcher, could even have got a scholarship, and after that who knows? But druggies have no place on my team! That's no secret, everyone in this school knows it, so just do what you've always done, Tim. Be yourself and do your best. Maybe when Randy sees that we're getting by without him, he'll come to his senses."

Tim should have been elated the way things had developed, but he wasn't. He did well as the team's pitcher; not outstanding, but good enough. And as a bonus, Terry took up his old position at first base and did an outstanding job! Could it possibly get any better than this? But still Tim remained aloof, got excited at nothing, showed little interest in anything. At school, at work, on the baseball diamond he did his very best, and Tim's best was far from shabby because that's the way he'd been brought up; but still there was a void in his life, a void that had been filled once and only once: by a Mexican teen with a cool red truck. Carlos had been Carlos, and Tim had been Tim. Presence of absence of cock, balls, legs or arms for that matter, had made no difference. They were who they were regardless, and nothing before or since had come even close to that relationship, and Tim was beginning to believe that nothing ever would!

In the last week of March, Mr. Simmons announced that Tim and Laura had won a full academic scholarship to the University of Illinois. He made it clear that the scholarship was based on their history paper, but not only on the content. "More important to the committee was the way in which the paper was presented," he told the whole school. "Laura and Tim have demonstrated an objectivity that usually takes years to develop. They failed to prove their hypothesis, but that was not the point. In spite of their disappointment, they presented a paper that was factual, informative and interesting, and they took great care to present details supporting not only their successes, but also their failures."

Laura was so excited she had temporarily reverted to a twelve year old school girl. She was giggly and flighty, and much to Tim's dismay she was hanging all over him like never before. She demanded that he take her out to dinner, dancing, and countless parties. Tim did, but his heart wasn't in it. He was pleased about the scholarship, but the only outward sign he showed was the odd slight smile. This calm, almost aloof behavior only served to get him in deeper trouble with the girls at school. They were totally charmed by the way Tim had "taken it all in stride," and he found himself being sought now by not only Laura but at least a dozen other girls. His only defense, the only thing he could do to effectively keep them at bay, was to spend more time with Laura. She had no problem with that even though he explained his reasons. It seemed that Laura had the kind of love for Tim that he was looking for: gay or straight, genitals or no, sex or not, Laura was there for Tim; and he began to seriously consider that perhaps he should give her a chance. Perhaps, he thought, being gay was not an option for someone like him, in spite of his natural inclination.

As April 6 approached, Tim was again considering not attending the Court of Honor, but Terry would have none of it. "You've got to go now," he rebuked his brother. "Nathan is really excited that you're coming. He has even had you seated with all the other dignitaries and invited guests on the stage, and your place at the banquet is at the head table, right next to Nathan."
"I just don't know if I can take any more reminders right now, Terry," Tim replied. "I got washed out of Scouting because I'm gay, and now I'm even something of an outcast in the gay community because I don't have all my parts. I just don't want to embarrass Nathan, and I don't know how much more I can take."
"Quit being so selfish!" Terry said angrily. "This isn't about you, it's about Nathan! You know better than anyone how hard he's worked for this, and he's made it very clear to me that you are an important part of the ceremony. I think in his mind Nathan has you taking the place of his parents because they can't be there. Quit thinking about yourself and think of Nathan, Tim! It's not like you to think only of yourself, and I for one don't like you this way nearly as much as I liked you when you were only thinking of others. You are what you are, and in case you've forgotten, it was your own doing, so get over it! There are those of us who still love you, and I think Nathan is one of us so you'd better go or I'm gonna be really pissed!"

Tim spent a large part of every night during the last two weeks before Nathan's Court of Honor trying to achieve an orgasm. He couldn't sleep anyway, so he spent his nights rubbing himself, fantasizing about all the beautiful boys he'd known both sexually and platonically during the past few years, staring at the now dog-eared picture of his own erection. It was always the same: rub the smooth area where his penis had been, fondle his aching balls, sometimes squeezing them until he cried out in pain. In his mind he could see his throbbing cock still attached; he could feel the delicious sensation of his hand as he stroked himself, lubricated only by the voluminous precum that he was producing. He could sometimes feel his orgasm boiling within his groin, coming to the very brink of eruption, and then the feeling would subside and Tim would be left disappointed and disillusioned. Finally he would cry himself to sleep. He knew his brother was only a few feet away in his own bedroom and would be only too glad to help; but he also knew that Terry had developed his own sexuality and it was not towards other males, and he didn't want to involve his brother in his frustration. And then it was April 6.

Tim and Terry entered the hall very nervously about ten minutes before the ceremony was to begin. Tim had never been to an Eagle Court of Honor, in fact this was the first one held in Troop 491 for over six years. But he knew every aspect of the ceremony because he'd studied it carefully back when he'd been a candidate himself. He knew he wouldn't see Nathan, or any other Scouts for that matter, until they all paraded into the hall. "I'll see ya later," Terry said as he turned and headed for the room where all the Scouts were being assembled. Tim watched him go, thinking how gorgeous his brother was in his immaculate uniform. He had grown to the point that he could have worn Tim's uniform, but Tim had bought him a new one with his own money, saying firmly that this was not an appropriate situation for hand-me-down's. After Terry had disappeared, he made his way to the small makeshift stage to find his seat.

Tim was nervous and ill at ease when he realized that he was seated between a Congressman and a Senator. He had seen the guest list and realized that they would be here, along with a clergyman, a city Alderman, the county Sheriff, and three school teachers, but it just hadn't dawned upon him that he would be seated between two of the most important men in the county. He was wishing he was on another planet as he introduced himself to them all, then took his seat just as Scoutmaster Merrit appeared and called the Court to order.

When the troop paraded in, led by the Troop Leader and followed by the Eagle Scout candidate, escorted by none other than Tim's brother Terry, the flag bearers and the rest of the troop, Tim was totally aghast. Nathan Seymore was no longer the somewhat tentative but beautiful 12 year old Tim had remembered from the camping trip that had been his demise as a Scout; he was now a tall and handsome 15 year old. Gone was the look of self doubt and shyness on his face, replaced by a confidence, almost a look of defiance to any and all who would challenge him. He stood about 5 feet 5 inches tall, his bare legs full and muscular, his blue eyes deep and penetrating, his beautiful blond hair cut short and perfectly combed, at least what could be seen under his hat. Tim thought he had never seen such a wonderful sight, except for one thing: Nathan's uniform, immaculately cleaned and pressed, was at least two sizes too small! That made it very easy to see his well sculpted body beneath, but it was hardly to be expected on one who was about to be honored with the highest rank in Scouting!

After the flags were placed and the troop seated, the Scoutmaster, Nathan and Terry made their way to the platform. Nathan shook hands with all the guests, thanking each of them for coming. When it was Tim's turn to be greeted, he rose to face Nathan. As their eyes met, Tim saw in those eyes a deepness, a sincerity, a sadness that shook him to his soul! "Thanks for coming, Tim," he said with a breaking voice. "Your being here means so much to me!"
"Believe me, it's my pleasure," Tim replied. He was beginning to realize there was much more to this boy than he had ever realized. There was a story here, and it was a story that Tim had to know!

Steve Merrit made a speech explaining briefly the process a boy must go through to become an Eagle Scout, then went into some detail about the projects that Nathan had performed, and the enthusiasm he'd displayed to achieve them. He mentioned the fact that this was the first Eagle Scout in Troop 491 in over six years, then introduced the guests who each said a few words of congratulations to Nathan. Tim was introduced as Nathan's most influential mentor, which shocked him to his very toes since they hadn't even seen each other for over three years. Nevertheless Tim managed to express his appreciation at being here, his admiration of the candidate, and the usual congratulations.

The Scoutmaster again took the podium and ordered Nathan to stand. Nathan did, standing at full attention. The entire troop also stood, and the Scoutmaster recited the various ceremonial expressions, then pinned the revered medal on Nathan's chest. Merrit took one step backwards and saluted Nathan, who returned the salute smartly. He then turned to the troop and saluted them. Everyone sat down except Nathan, who then stepped to the podium.

Nathan made a speech that was far more eloquent than could reasonably be expected from a 15 year old. He again thanked each guest for coming, then acknowledged the help and support he'd received from the Scoutmaster and the entire troop, then mentioned others who had helped him along the way. He then proceeded to shock everyone present. "You mentioned, Mr. Merrit, that this is the first Eagle Court of Honor in this troop for over six years," he said. "Although that is true, it should not have been. There should have been a ceremony such as this three years ago but the candidate, my mentor and best friend, was deemed unworthy through circumstances beyond his control, through no fault of his own. Tim Chandler, would you please stand and be acknowledged."

Tim, embarrassed almost to tears as the troop broke into applause, his face burning as he blushed profusely, stood to face the gathered throng. Nathan turned to face him, his left side to the audience. "Had it not been for Tim Chandler, I would not be receiving this honor tonight," Nathan said. "I doubt that I wouldn't have even lasted in Scouting! I consider myself no more worthy than you to receive this badge, so if the Boy Scouts of America cannot give you one, I can and I will." With that, he removed the badge that had just been pinned on his chest and pinned it on Tim's lapel.

Tim was so shocked he could hardly catch his breath. He had read on the Internet of Eagle Scouts who had returned their badges in protest of BSA's stand on homosexuality. Some of these Scouts were gay, others straight sympathizers; but they were unified and steadfast in their belief that the organization was unfair in their attitude. But Nathan had upstaged them all by rejecting his rank in front of the very people who had come here to honor him! Tim glanced at Scoutmaster Merrit. The man's face was ghostly white. He looked as if he was about to pass out. Tim opened his mouth to protest, to tell Nathan that he had earned this rank and that he shouldn't do this, that his achievement was all the thanks Tim needed; but Nathan was now looking him in the eye again, standing at attention and saluting him. Tim's long dormant Scouting instinct took over and he returned the salute. He sensed a movement in the corner of his eye and realized that the entire troop was now saluting him. He had little choice but to turn and return their salute.

Attending the banquet following the ceremony was unquestionably the most difficult thing Tim had ever had to do. Before entering the hall, he managed to get his brother alone for a few minutes. "Did you know about this?" he demanded.
"Uh-huh," Terry replied, beaming like a Christmas candle. "Nathan didn't tell anyone else, but he let me in on it ‘cause he was afraid you weren't gonna come. It was my job to make sure you did."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Nathan made me promise, on my honor as a Scout, to keep it to myself. He was so scared that it would get back to Merrit, and you know what he would've done."
"Yeah, I know," Tim said. "Remind me to murder you when I get you alone, little brother."

To his credit, Scoutmaster Merrit had recovered by the time they were all being seated at the banquet table. He shook Tim's hand warmly, telling him it was good to see him. He made no mention of the incident at the ceremony, nor did anyone else. Tim was sure that the badge still prominent on his lapel was an irritant, but he was not about to remove it knowing what Nathan must have been going through to place it there. Once seated, Tim and Nathan pretty well ignored everyone else as they caught up on each other's lives. Tim offered to drive Nathan home, and Nathan accepted gratefully. He was later seen whispering something to Terry, who nodded and smiled. Then as the party broke up, Terry told Tim that he'd see him at home, that he wanted to walk home with some of his friends.

"Why on earth did you do that?" Tim demanded when he and Nathan were finally alone in the car. "You've got to know that Merrit will kick you out of the troop now, and if he possibly can, he'll nullify that badge."
"I know," Nathan said. "I had to do it, Tim! What he did to you was... was terrible! I couldn't accept that badge knowing I was the cause of your not getting one. I've been planning this for over two years. And besides, I've checked, and there's no way Merrit can undo things now without my agreement, and I'm not about to agree."
"But... your scouting career is over!"
"My scouting career was over the same time yours was, Tim. You couldn't be a Scout any more, so I had to be one for both of us."
"But... I don't understand, Nathan. I appreciate it, but you didn't have to. What happened wasn't your fault and you did nothing wrong.
"Neither did you, Tim. You only did what was perfectly natural for you. I know because... because it's natural for me too. I'm gay, Tim, and I love you! I have never had any experience with anyone since that night in the tent, but I'm hoping that'll change before tonight is over."

It took Tim a few minutes to process all the information he'd just received. He had never in his wildest dreams considered the possibility that Nathan was gay, and in love with him. Finally, when Nathan was beginning to conclude that his advance had just been rejected, Tim found the strength to speak. "A lot has changed, Nathan," he said. "I can't... I mean, I'm not..."
"You're gonna tell me you don't have a penis any more, right?" Nathan interrupted. "I know all about that, Tim. Your brother told me shortly after it happened. I kept up with your life through Terry, you know. I doubt that there's very much going on in your life that I don't know about."
"Then you know I can't..."
"Tim, do you think all I want is your cock? Didn't you hear me? I said I LOVE you, Tim! I want YOU, not some body part! I don't care what you've got or haven't got, I'm in love with YOU! I was hoping you could learn to feel the same way about me. I want YOU, Tim!"

"You wanna come in for a while?" Nathan invited when they arrived at Nathan's house. It was a small ranch style house, obviously in need of paint and repairs. The condition of the house was beginning to give Tim some understanding why Nathan was wearing a uniform that was too small.
"I dunno, Nathan," Tim said. "It's after 10 already, and tomorrow's a school day..."
Please, Tim? I hate coming home to an empty house all the time."
"All the time? But your parents..."
"My dad died when I was a baby," Nathan told him. "My mom's in the hospital and has been there for two months. I don't expect she'll ever get out this time. I'm expecting Child Protection to take me into foster care soon as they find out I'm living alone, but for now I'm in the house on my own."

Tim was again astonished when he entered the modest house that Nathan called home. It was immaculately clean and tidy, without so much as a dirty spoon in the kitchen. There was no dust anywhere, nothing out of place to give evidence that a teenage boy lived here alone. As soon as they were inside, Nathan's arms were around Tim's neck and their lips were an inch apart, their eyes locked. "I've waited so long for this," Nathan exclaimed. Tim wanted to protest, to tell Nathan how much better he could do for himself, but he could feel the boy's excitement pressing against his own phantom erection, and his resistance crumbled like the walls of Jericho. He moved his head forward as his lips met Nathan's and they kissed. The first one was little more than a peck. The second, brief moments later, was the longest, deepest, most thrilling kiss Tim had ever experienced. It had both boys soaring high above the earth, drifting in a sunny, warm ecstasy the likes of which neither could ever have anticipated. "You want a drink or something?" Nathan panted, "or would you rather just help me get ready for bed?"

Tim did indeed want a drink, but what he wanted could not be obtained from a faucet nor found in the refrigerator. He followed Nathan to the boy's bedroom which, like the rest of the house, was as neat as a pin. He thought of his own bedroom, passably neat he'd thought, but no match for this one. He helped Nathan out of his uniform, then Nathan reciprocated, removing Tim's new suit and carefully folding it and placing it on a chair. They stood naked looking at each other, each impressed and pleased by what he saw. They kissed again, then slid into bed. "There's something I gotta tell you," Tim whispered as Nathan ran his hand over Tim's vacant pubic area while Tim fondled Nathan's raging erection. "There's a rumor going around that I had some kinda life threatening disease that could only be cured by cutting my cock off. It's not true, Nathan."
"I know," Nathan said, his deep blue eyes penetrating the last of Tim's defenses. "I hate the fact that you felt you had to do it, but I can live with it, and it's just like you. You saw what you had to do and you did it."

It didn't take long for Nathan's body to stiffen and tremble in the most earth shattering orgasm in his young life. Seconds later, as his mouth was still being anointed with the ample issue from Nathan's throbbing member, Tim felt the familiar sensation of his own climax building. As usual, after Tim had convinced himself it was going to happen this time, the feeling went away more quickly than it had come. But this time it was different. This time it didn't matter. Tim realized that his having given Nathan so much pleasure was enough. Even without orgasm, he felt totally satisfied and fulfilled.

"I'd better go," Tim said after they had laid together, quiet and contented for over an hour.
"I don't want you to leave," Nathan said. "It's been so long, I don't want you to ever leave again... ever!"
"I'll be back," Tim promised. "We gotta figure out how to keep you outta the foster care system. But for now I've gotta get going or my folks are gonna be asking some questions I'd rather not have to answer."

Tim went on the offensive the very next day. Over dinner he related what he had learned: that Nathan had been generally taking care of his mother for over a year, running the entire house when she was sick or in the hospital. Now, he told them, his mother was in the hospital and not expected to live, and Nathan was living alone. "That's terrible!" his mom exclaimed. "Where are all the child welfare agencies?"
"He doesn't want them, Mom," Tim replied. "He says as it is he doesn't get to the hospital to see his mom very much, but if he went into foster care he might not get to see her at all. I'm gonna be spending some nights over at his house, so he won't be alone."
"Why don't you have him over here?" Dad suggested. It had never occurred to Tim to request such an arrangement, but then Tim knew a lot more about the relationship than his parents. "You really mean it, Dad?" he said excitedly.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," his dad replied. "Why don't you call and invite him over tonight?"
"Tonight won't work," Tim replied. "I promised I'd take him to see his mom at the hospital tonight, and then he said he had some things to do around the house and I promised to help."
"That's fine," his mom said. "I'll fix him a plate of dinner so he won't have to cook..."
"Thanks, Mom, but he'll have finished dinner by now. I gotta go. G'night, y'all."

"Did you and Nathan... I mean..."? Terry asked as he followed his brother upstairs to get a change of clothes.
"Yeah, Ter, we did," Tim replied. He felt his heart jump and his non-existent cock grow hard from the memory, and from telling his brother about it without shame or regret.
"I thought so," Terry said pensively. "You shoulda seen your face when Dad said you could bring him home!"
"Is that a problem, Terry?"
"OhmyGod No!" Terry replied as he hugged his brother. "I think it's exactly what you both need."

***************

"Nate, Honey!" the weak voice of Mrs. Seymore exclaimed when two boys walked into the private hospital room. "I'm so glad you came, but how did you get here? What about school tomorrow? You need your rest, you know." Tim had wanted to stay in the car and wait, but Nathan would have none of it. Now that he was in Nathan's mother's room, he was embarrassed but also impressed when he saw the way mother and son both beamed when they met.

"Hi, Mom," Nathan said as he kissed his mother on the forehead. "I got a drive tonight. Mom, this is Tim."
"Hello, Mrs. Seymore," Tim said shyly. He took her hand to shake it and had all he could do not to recoil in horror. It was like taking the hand of a skeleton! The hand was cold and almost devoid of life, and he could feel every bone through the skin. There simply was no flesh.
"Tim?" the lady echoed. "Hello, Tim. Nate, is this THE Tim?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Nathan answered, beaming even more if that's possible.
"In that case I'm more than thrilled to meet you, Tim," the lady said as her face broke into a broad grin. "You will never know how much Nate has missed you!"

The threesome had a very pleasant conversation. Tim found himself warming to this lady immediately, then feeling waves of depression because the world was soon going to lose another wonderful person. She wanted to hear all about the Eagle Scout ceremony and Nathan told her everything! He had asked Tim to bring it to the hospital because his mother would want to see it. When he produced the medal, apologizing for having taken it from her son, she waved him away with her frail hand. "Nonsense," she scoffed. "Nate's been waiting to do that for a long time! But now you can share it, and I hope a lot more."

The boys told Nathan's mother that they were going to be spending most nights together, either at the Seymore home or Tim's, whichever made more sense. The lady was overjoyed that her son would no longer be alone all the time, and even more so when Nathan pointed out that their being together would mean he could visit the hospital more often. "That's wonderful," she said. "But don't you two neglect your studies!"

"She's incredible," Tim said as he and Nathan walked to the car. "She's gotta be one of the nicest ladies I've ever met."
"Yeah, she is," Nathan replied gloomily. "The world sucks, Tim! She's always been just like that. And what does she get for being so great? She loses her husband and has to bring up a baby alone, then just when I get old enough that I can make her life a little easier, she fuckin' dies!" Then to Tim's astonishment, he had a beautiful teenager sobbing in his arms, right in the entrance to the parking garage!

"She's not dead yet," Tim found himself saying. "She's so cheerful, and I can tell she worships you, although that's not that hard for me to understand. I can also tell she's a fighter, Nathan, just like you. I wouldn't count her out just yet."
"Forget it." Nathan blubbered. "The doctor told us there's only one chance in a million..."
"That's one more than none," Tim said, surprising himself that he'd said it. "I'm surprised at you, man! I walk into your house last night after you've been living there alone for two months, and the place looks like a freakin' showplace! That sure doesn't look like you're planning to leave any time soon. You know if your mother dies..."
"I know. If Mom dies I'm outta there and in some foster home. But that doesn't stop me from keeping it as nice as I can, just in case.
"Then let's go there now, and make sure everything's ok, Nathan. Or... should I call you Nate?"

Nathan's crying stopped as the boys got into the car. "Nobody's ever called me Nate ‘cept my mom," he said pensively.
"Maybe no one ever loved you as much as your mom before," Tim observed. Nathan looked at him sharply, but he didn't say anything. Tim had his hands on the ignition key, ready to start the car, but he paused. He looked deeply into Nathan's eyes, and there he saw what he'd been searching for so long. "Please?" he said as he kissed him softly.
"Y-yeah," Nathan said. "I'd like it if you'd call me Nate." To Nathan, allowing Tim to call him by his mother's nickname was a special privilege, granted only to people who held a special place in his life. He felt a thrill as he realized the significance of what he had just said. He wondered if Tim would understand such an eccentric attitude. He thought, hoped, that he would.

"Your mom seemed really pleased to see me," Tim observed as they drove. "That kinda surprised me. Actually I'm surprised she even knows who I am."
"I told her about you a long time ago," Nathan said. "She knows all about what happened at Scouts, and why, and..."
"Everything?" Tim said with a gasp. "You told her everything?"
"Well, not exactly everything," Nathan replied. "A lot of it she figured out for herself."

Tim wondered silently what Nathan had meant by ‘everything,' but he was afraid to ask. With the kind, almost joyful reception he'd got from Mrs. Seymore at the hospital, it was inconceivable to him that she knew about her son's bedtime games. Surely Nathan had figured she had enough to deal with fighting for her life, and judging by the way Tim knew his mother would react to such things, the thought that the lady knew ‘something' made him nervous. Nevertheless he knew he would not be able to resist the beautiful body of his new lover.

The boys puttered around the house, doing some vacuuming and putting a load of laundry in the washer, then finishing up some homework that had gone undone. "You're gonna make someone a real good wife, Nate," Tim quipped as they got undressed for bed.
"You really think so?" Nate responded with a wide grin. "I was kinda thinking along the lines of being a husband!"
"Nate, we gotta talk," Tim said as they slid into bed.
"Later," Nate said quite firmly. "Right now I want... Please hold me, Tim."

Tim could not resist. First his arms went around Nate's broad shoulders and they kissed passionately. Then Tim's right hand slid down the beautiful back of the boy who had offered everything, then around to the front until it found the raging, throbbing erection that he knew would be there. "You're so beautiful!" he whispered. "Every part of you is perfect. I shouldn't be doing this, Nate, but I can't resist. I just can't..."
"You better not," Nate warned. "I've been waiting for you for three years, and now I'm not waiting any more. The only thing I wanna know is, why didn't you ever call me?"
"Nate, Merrit warned me if I ever did he'd make it very hard for both of us. He said..."
"I know all that," Nate interrupted. "But if you'd had any idea how much I wanted you, how much I'd missed you..." Nate's hand had found that area on Tim's body where his penis had been and was fondling, caressing, scratching lightly. Both boys were shuddering from the ministrations of the other.

Tim didn't really have an answer for Nate. He knew now that both their lives would have been a lot happier if he'd said to hell with Merrit and pursued a relationship with Nate. On the other hand, the boy had been only 12 years old! As much as he had cared for him and admired him, he could not imagine having a 12 year old as a lover. So he didn't talk any more; the boys made love.

Nate's first orgasm was so intense Tim was concerned that he might not have another for several days, but Nate proved him wrong by doing it again in less than half an hour. "You haven't cum yet," Nate said with concern after his second storm had quieted.
"I never do," Tim panted. "I get feelings that I'm real close, then the feelings go away."
"Isn't that awful frustrating for you?"
"It is when I try to get myself off," Tim replied honestly. "But when I make you cum so hard, that's all I need. God, Nate, I can't believe it myself, but your pleasure is all that's important to me. I love you so much!"
"Does that mean you'd feel different about making love to me if I couldn't cum?" Nate asked after a long pause.

Tim looked curiously at Nate, then grinned. "It doesn't appear that we're gonna have to worry about that any time soon," he said.
"We might," Nate said after another pause, "if I didn't have a cock either."

What in the world did he mean by that? Tim asked himself. He has the most beautiful, the most perfect body in the entire universe! Why would he even think a thing like that? But Tim didn't say anything. He dismissed it from his mind, rationalizing that Nate had been just speculating on what would happen if some disease dictated that his beautiful cock befall the same fate that Tim's had. But the whole idea was unthinkable to Tim! Nate had lost his father before he'd even known him, and now, in probably the most important time of his life, he was about to lose his mother! Surely that was enough, wasn't it?

Tim assured Nate that he would love him, sleep with him, adore him body and soul with or without a penis, and then two exhausted boys, totally happy together, drifted off to sleep.

Tim dropped Nate at his school in the morning, then headed home to pick up Terry and went to school himself. "Just wait here after school," he said to Nate, "I'll pick you up." Nate had fallen victim to one of the school busing programs and had been riding the bus since fifth grade, and Tim had promised he'd never have to see the inside of another school bus. Getting home from school almost an hour earlier meant he could get his homework done, grab something to eat, and visit his mother several times a week instead of once a week at best.

Terry wanted to know how the visit at the hospital had gone, and Tim was quick to tell him about it, including his conversation with Nate afterwards. "Nate?" Terry questioned.
"Yeah," Tim replied as he blushed a bright red. "He said he'd like it if I called him Nate." Terry didn't say anything, but he thought a lot, and those thoughts were written all over his face. Tim noticed the expression, but he didn't say anything. "I might be a little late tonight," Terry said as Tim parked the car.
"Try not to be too late," Tim directed. "I gotta pick up Nate after school.

Tim was actually in his car and ready to go a little earlier than usual. He was sitting with the windows open, happily listening to the car stereo when the passenger door opened quickly and someone got in. "You weren't that late, Ter," he said as he turned his head, then he gasped. "Unc... Uncle Jason?" he exclaimed.

"How are ya, Tim?" the man said.
"Wha... what're you doin' here? I thought you were in Japan."
"I didn't go. I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and guess what! You're involved in that offer!"

Jason explained that he had checked in on a job registry where he'd left his name and had been offered a job running a private ambulance making almost twice what the job was normally worth. "You probably didn't know, but I'm a registered EMT," he explained. "It's just a little training I picked up in Canada a few years ago."
"But... but what's that got to do with me?" Tim demanded.
"That's what I'd like to know, Tim," Jason said. "What I'd like you to do now is drop your pants."
"Drop my pants? What for? What on earth..."
"No, I haven't turned into a pervert and I don't have the hots for you. I just want to confirm for myself what I've been told about you."
"If you mean you've heard that I've got no penis, it's true," Tim said reluctantly. "But there's no fuckin' way I'm gonna drop my pants right here in the school parking lot!"

Jason backed down at Tim's outburst. He did give Tim a good groping, and Tim watched his uncle's eyes grow wider at what he felt, or didn't feel. "Why, Tim?" he demanded. "What the hell kinda trouble have you got yourself into anyway?"
"Trouble? I'm not in any trouble, Uncle."
"Then why the hell did I end up getting hired to castrate you?"
"SAY WHAT?" Now it was Tim's turn to be shocked.

Next: XIX Life Is Never Easy


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