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Among the burgeoning taste for male genitals, one area that always seems to be neglected is the glans. The little penis-head 'fruit' is one of the most versatile of foodstuffs and doesn't deserve such overlooking.
Removing the glans is a matter of choice. Some ladies like to have the male lay his todger down on the chopping board and simply cut it off with a single sweep of their meat cleaver. I always use a penis guilloutine myself. It increases the terror for the male and it's a wonderful moment when he's been 'beheaded' and his decapitated mauve mushroom is resting in the scaled-down straw basket beneath the guillotine. Some ladies prefer to buy already-separated whole penises from their supplier and remove the end from these but I think using a live male is much better. It partially 'reduces' them in an area they love the best; it's very painful and humiliating for them; you've got the rest of their carcass to construct other dishes from AND their glans is guaranteed 'fresh': some of the store-bought penises have been kept in deep refrigeration for two years or more. Although such meat is perfectly healthy, like any long-frozen meat, upon thawing it will have lost much of its essential taste. Having amputated the glans and washed it clean of blood (there won't be much), what to do next with it? well, some ladies like it as a mini-beetroot. after all, it IS the right clour! Marinading it overnight in vinegar will see the essential juice permeate the glans and turn it into a beetroot, as desired. It can be cooked (lightly now - gas mark '2' and only for five minutes!) before being allowed to cool and being placed inside a vol-au-vent case. Chinese ladies will perhaps prefer to use filo pastry and construct a won-ton parcel or even a battered glans out of their material. It's delicious cold and uncooked too, although it can be slightly chewy for those unused to eating such sweetmeats. All-in-all, it's a wonderfully versatile food - much too good to be allowed to go to waste, adorning any man. Get penis-shortening today - you know it makes sense!
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