Daniel, age three.

I’m Danny’s mother, Linda. Danny had started out as a normal boy, at least as far as I knew. Then, about a year ago, I noticed that he didn’t like playing with boys, he liked girls’ toys better than boys’ toys, and his best friend was a girl, Amy. I thought that it was just a phase he was going through, and didn’t worry about it. By now, though, it had gone on long enough that I was beginning to worry.

We have a secluded swimming pool, as our family enjoys skinny-dipping. Our rule is that if anyone wants to wear a suit, everyone has to wear one. People who want to wear one don’t tend to get invited back very often. When Danny was visiting Amy, her mother, Nancy, would sometimes call to see if I had time to watch them in the pool; Amy liked to come over and swim. Sometimes, Nancy would come with them, releasing me from child-watching duty. So, although it bothered me sometimes that my son’s playmate was a girl and they liked to spend a lot of time together, it worked well for both families because the two of them together seemed to require less supervision than just one of them alone. Nancy and I could tolerate a lot in exchange for a big reduction in how much time we spent supervising our children.

One day, Danny and Amy showed up to swim, both wearing dresses! After we all got into the pool, I asked them why Danny was wearing one of Amy’s dresses. She said that Danny wanted to be a girl when he was with her, and, if she was wearing a dress, he always put on one of her dresses too. I jokingly asked Danny if I needed to buy him some dresses so he didn’t have to keep borrowing Amy’s. Yes, please. That way, he could wear them at home too. And could he please let his hair get long like Amy’s.

I asked why he wanted this, and he said that he was really a girl, but God had made a mistake and given him the wrong kind of body. I told them that I’d think about it, and I did. First, though, it occurred to me that it might me a good idea to start taking pictures just in case. I got my digital camera, which had the advantage of not letting a photo lab see the pictures, and took pictures of both of them in the pool, in the hot tub, and after they’d put their dresses back on. After talking to a variety of people, I finally learned about transgender children. I was told that I basically had two choices. I could let Danny be a girl for now and risk winding up with a girl instead of the boy I thought I had, or I could fight a long battle that I’d probably lose, and risk losing his love in the process.

While I was talking to the right people, I got diagrams of the internal and external organs that made the difference between a boy’s body and a girl’s body. I’d probably wait a year, to see if what happened, before I showed them to Danny and Amy. They couldn’t read yet, so I’d have to explain the diagrams to them. I also got two diagrams of the body of a girl who had been born a boy and later changed to look like a girl, one able to have intercourse and one not. These would help them to understand each other’s bodies, and the choices Danny would have in the future, if he really was a transgender child.

I asked Danny if he still wanted a dress. Yes. I called Nancy and invited Amy to go dress shopping with Danny. I grabbed my camera and we went to pick her up, and they both changed into dresses for the shopping trip. I told Danny that his real name was Daniel, which was a man’s name, and that the equivalent woman’s name was Danielle, which also served as a girl’s name. If we were going to take him shopping in the girls’ department, his name had better be Danielle today. They talked it over and decided that Danielle was a fine name for Danny. Amy and I got used to calling him—no, we had to remember to say her—that on the way to the store.

I thought that we would just buy one or two dresses, but it didn’t go that way; the kids ganged up on me and I was too uncomfortable shopping with my son in the girls’ department to want to fight them. We bought three complete outfits for Danielle—dress, underpants, and socks—plus one pair of shoes.

I thought that after we were finished shopping we would be done with the name Danielle, but after that Amy always called him Danielle, and they soon had Nancy calling him that too. I continued calling him Danny, and heard complaints about that from both him and Amy. Finally, Nancy suggested that I give up and call her Danielle, like everyone else did.

Once I got used to using the name Danielle, I found that she was a much happier and better behaved child than Daniel had been. I had trouble remembering to say ‘she’, not ‘he’, but they kept correcting me until it became automatic. It helped that I liked my new daughter better than I’d liked my son.

I told them that a lot of people wouldn’t understand about Daniel wanting to be Danielle, and that they shouldn’t let anyone who knew Danny learn about Danielle. They already knew that, and Amy’s mother, Nancy, would keep their secret.

I agreed that she could let her hair grow. She asked how long it would take to look like a girl’s hair, and I told her I wasn’t sure. Right now, if she was wearing a dress and was with Amy, they’d both be taken for girls, even if Amy wasn’t wearing a dress. In maybe a year if Amy was wearing a dress and they were together, her hair would be long enough that they’d both be taken for girls. In two years, if they were together, they’d both be taken for girls, regardless of what they were wearing. If Danielle was alone and wearing a dress, it might be two years before she’d always be taken for a girl. I asked her if she planned on continuing to be a girl, and wear dresses to school. Yes. Then she should be sure to wear a dress to kindergarten, at least until everyone in the class was used to thinking of her as a girl. After that, she could wear other things when she wanted, but it would be a good idea to wear a dress more often than most of the other girls. That would help everyone in the school, not just those in her class, think of her as a girl.

I asked Danielle how sure she was that she was a girl as opposed to just wanting to be one. She said that she’d always known that she was a girl, but she also knew that I thought that she was a boy, and she was afraid I’d be upset to find out that I was wrong. What she wanted was to have a girl’s body; she was a girl, but her body wasn’t. Well, from what I’d been told, Danielle was definitely a transgender girl and Danielle and I, and probably also Amy, were in for an interesting time, as in the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.”

One day, when they were both at our place, I decided I needed to go shopping. Did they want to come along? Yes. They both went to Danielle’s room and returned wearing two of her dresses. Now I understood why three dresses: One for each of them to wear and one in the laundry.

Any time Danielle or Amy went shopping for clothes, they always insisted that the other one come along, and Nancy and I finally got smart and cut our clothes shopping effort in half by buying for both of them on one trip. We alternated who took them shopping to even out the costs. Besides, they were able to wear each other’s clothes, and each one’s closet always seemed to have some of the other one’s clothes in it. Nancy and I gave up paying any attention to which clothes belonged to which girl; it no longer mattered.

Danielle, age three years, eleven months.

At almost four, Danielle’s hair was long enough that when she went somewhere with me wearing a dress, everyone took her to be a girl. I’d asked Danielle and Amy if they were both still sure that Danielle wanted to grow up to be a girl. No, she’d always been a girl. She wanted to grow up to have a girl’s body to match. Then she was determined to go to school as a girl? Yes, of course. I told them that in that case there was something special that I’d like to do with them on Danielle’s birthday, since she’d told me that she didn’t want a birthday party. I’d also still make her a special cake for her birthday, but it would be a special kind and flavor of cake, rather than a decorated birthday cake.

I called Amy’s mother, Nancy, and told her what I was going to do on Danielle’s birthday and why it needed to be done now. Nancy said that she wished that the girls could just stay young and ignorant, but she also understood that Amy would be the only one Danielle would have to talk to about a lot of things and they both needed to understand the things I’d be telling them. She came over with Amy, we sent Amy and Danielle to her room and told them to stay there while we talked, and Nancy and I spread the information I had for them out on the dining room table.

Nancy looked at the illustrations and said that she’d never seen anything with that level of detail. She pointed at the Cowper’s Glands on the male illustration and asked what they did. I told her that they made precoital fluid and delivered it as needed. She looked at the illustration of a lactating woman’s breast and asked if she was correct in understanding that breasts were just decoration to attract males and that the only working parts that stuck out were the part where the baby suckled. Yes, why did she think that other animals didn’t have breasts like human women have. She looked at the illustration of the kind of woman Danielle could become and asked me to show her where the various new pieces came from, which I did.

Nancy said that I had enough detail to make it all real to the girls. Danielle would understand why she needed to keep all the boy’s parts that she didn’t like until she was ready for her body to be transformed into a girl’s body. When they forgot something, these would help them remember. She asked if I was going to do something to help them understand puberty. I said yes, as soon as they learned to read.

She said that she could understand now why I was going to encourage them to compare what I showed them to their bodies. They’d do it whether I suggested it or not and doing it immediately would help them to understand the illustrations better. They could look at the illustration of what was inside a scrotum and each of them could feel those parts of Danielle’s body. That would make them real for both girls. Likewise, they could examine those parts of Amy’s body that Danielle would also have after surgery. That transformation would then also be real for both girls. They were too young to understand generalities very well, but I was intending to make things very specific and understandable to them. She thought that I’d alleviate many of their worries and we’d both have more tranquil daughters.

Nancy asked me if I realized that neither of our families could move without the other going with them. Yes, but what choice did we have. Neither of us had a choice, she just wanted to make sure that I realized what we were getting ourselves into. Did I understand how much I was going to have to trust Amy? Yes, I knew that transgender girls without someone like Amy to help had a high suicide rate and I was going to have to trust Amy with Danielle’s life, but what choice did I have. Nancy said none, but she would have a careful talk with Amy about responsibility and the trust that Danielle, Nancy, and I had in her, and that might help.

Danielle’s fourth birthday.

On Danielle’s birthday, after Amy and I’d shared a fancy cake with her, I said that there were some things that they needed to learn. I’d gotten the information earlier, but I’d wanted to wait until they’d had time to be sure that Danielle was really a girl before I talked to them about it. I said that this would be a private conversation, not to be talked about to anyone else. We’d go to Danielle’s room and lock the door to have our talk.

I told them that I was going to show them some things that showed the differences between boys and girls and talk to them about what they meant for Danielle. I showed them what could be seen on the outside of their bodies, told them the names of the various parts, and explained a little about each part. I then did the same for the parts that were inside their bodies.

I explained to them what puberty was, how it changed a boy’s body into a man’s body, and how it changed a girl’s body into a woman’s body. I gave them a brief description to what would happen to each of them during puberty. I explained to them that puberty was usually a very difficult time for someone like Danielle, and that she would need a lot of help from Amy to get through it undamaged.

I explained what happened during an orgasm in both a boy and a girl and how the changes in a boy’s body at puberty made an ejaculation accompany his orgasm.

I explained that if they didn’t do anything to prevent it, Danielle’s body would go through puberty as a boy. I explained how some of the changes late in puberty would make it much harder for her to look like a girl.

I explained some ways how, if she was sure she wanted to do it, she could cause her body to instead go through puberty as a girl. This would make her look the most like a girl, and she’d develop breasts at about the same time as other girls. I told her that doing this would limit her to only one of the two choices of how her body could later be transformed into a girl’s body, and the limitations that would place on her.

I told her that there were two other choices that I thought were better. She could begin puberty as a boy, giving some of her boy’s parts time to grow enough that they could easily be transformed into girl’s parts. I explained some ways they could stop that puberty before it did things like changing her voice to that of a man, making her get too tall, and having her develop facial hair, and I explained some ways to continue her puberty as a girl. If she did this, her breasts would develop later than most girls, but she could change her mind after she had experienced sex as a boy and stay a boy if she wanted.

I told her that girls start puberty before boys, and the final choice would result in her breasts developing at about the same time as most other girls, making it easy to continue passing as a girl. First, she could start puberty as a boy and let that progress for about a year until she had her first ejaculation. Second, she could put her development as a boy on hold and start puberty as a girl letting that progress long enough for her hips to widen and become more feminine. Third, she could put her female development on hold and let her puberty as a boy continue for about a year. Fourth, she could continue her female development, which would put her male puberty on hold before her voice changed. Her penis would be growing in girth at that time and that growth would continue. Fifth, she could terminate her puberty as a boy, have sexual reassignment surgery, and finish her puberty as a girl. It’d all be finished by about age fifteen and she’d be a young woman, except that she wouldn’t be able to have children. The only disadvantage of this choice was that she needed to decide by the time she was eight that she wanted to change her boy’s body into a girl’s body rather than waiting until she was about thirteen.

Danielle and Amy said that this sounded like the best choice to them, and I told them that I also thought that it was the best choice. It had an additional advantage, although they wouldn’t look at it as an advantage until they got older. The other choices gave Danielle at most about a year and a half to be able to enjoy having sex as a boy; this choice would give her about four years, enough time that she’d be ready to give it up when she was ready for surgery. She’d have to go without sex for about a year, and then she’d be ready to have sex as a girl. She’d have a better understanding of boys and their sexual feelings that other girls would ever have, and that would be a great help to her.

There would be some temporary problems that Danielle would need to deal with until she had sexual reassignment surgery. She’d get spontaneous erections and be able to ejaculate for about a year and a half and would have to be careful not to wear clothing that would stimulate her during that time because a semen stain on her clothing would be obvious to everyone. She’d probably be fertile for at least a few weeks and she’d have to be careful not to get Amy, or any other, girl pregnant.

Carefully chosen, loose fitting clothing below the waist would hide her erections and tight fitting blouses that showed her breasts would make it clear that she was a girl. Long hair would also help; you don’t want to have the longest hair in your school, and probably not the longest in your class, but you will want to have longer hair than most girls in your class. Sometimes there are things that you can do in school that increase the number of other students who know you, and this will always help you when you advance to a new school with a lot of students and teachers who don’t know you.

I showed them the results of the two different kinds of sexual reassignment surgery and explained, in each case, how some of the boy’s parts were transformed into the new girl’s parts. I strongly recommended the kind of sexual reassignment surgery that would make Danielle able to have intercourse with a boy.

I’d give them more information on this well before they needed it. It’d be up to Amy, and any other friends they’d told Danielle’s secret, to secretly help Danielle through this journey, and to help her decide how she wanted it to end.

I asked Danielle if she disliked the parts of her body that a girl shouldn’t have. Yes. That was normal; no girl would want to have to live in a boy’s body. Did she understand now that she needed to keep all the parts except for her testicles so they could be turned into girl parts? Yes. That they had to be in good working order and well exercised so they would still work after she was made to look like a girl? Yes. That she needed to keep her testicles until they were removed during sexual reassignment surgery? Yes. That, disliking those parts, we couldn’t expect her to take care of those things herself and Amy, or someone else, would have to do it for her? This time, it took her a while to admit that the answer was yes.

Did Danielle realize that she was going to need a lot of help from Amy? Yes. That Amy would sometimes want to play with Danielle’s boy parts just because they were fun to play with, and that letting her do that to her heart’s content, without ever complaining, would help compensate her for the help that she was giving? Yes. Did Amy also realize all that? Yes.

I said that we would have to talk about all this again in more detail when Danielle needed to decide if she wanted to start turning her body into a girl when she was eight.

I told them that there would be things that Danielle could only talk about to Amy. Danielle and Amy would need to understand that, while they both had girl’s brains, Danielle’s body was still that of a boy. They would probably want to inspect and understand each other’s bodies as well as talk about them, and they would need privacy for that. You didn’t touch your own private parts, or those of someone else, unless you did it in private. If they locked Danielle’s door when they were together, I wouldn’t accidentally walk in on them without thinking, probably to pick up or put away laundry.

I told that it might be a good idea, while everything was fresh in their minds, for them to compare their bodies with what I had just told them. I had each of them rub the other’s armpit with a finger so they knew what that felt like. I said that some parts of their bodies preferred a smoother touch. I had them moisten the armpits with saliva and try again so they knew what that felt like. Then I had them use their tongues so they knew what that felt like. I said that some things feel much better when done with a tongue and that, if they didn’t change what they were doing, some things felt better and better, with a reward at the end. Sometimes, though, what felt best changed and they’d have to change what they were doing. I said that it was best to start with clean bodies, so they should take a shower together first. Each should wash the other so each would be satisfied that the other was clean enough. I said to call me when they were done and I’d answer their questions.

When I came back, I took one look at their faces and said that I could see that I didn’t need to ask them if they’d enjoyed their reward. Did they both know what that reward was called? Yes, an orgasm. They had a lot of little questions, but their big question was why Danielle had to do one thing for a while and then something different before Amy had an orgasm. I said that was so girls wouldn’t like boys who didn’t care enough about girls to bother to learn how to properly give them pleasure. Amy asked if I’d mean that she could start play with Danielle’s boy parts as often as she wanted. Yes, but she needed to let Danielle play with her girl parts too. Would I give them any suggestions? No, they had lots of years to each have fun learning about both of their bodies.

I told them that Nancy and I didn’t care what they did but neither of us wanted to know what they were doing and didn’t want to catch them doing it. They would have to make sure that no one caught them, including us, or they would be in trouble. I explained that no one should touch their own private parts, or those of someone else, unless they were in private and sure that no one would see them. They were called private parts because you were supposed to keep what you did with them private.

I told Danielle that I thought that, if they did things the way I’d suggested, she wouldn’t hate what was happening to her body during puberty. Most girls like her hated puberty because their body was becoming less and less like a girl’s body and they were powerless to stop it. That wouldn’t be true for Danielle. Amy would be able to stop the changes that were happening to Danielle’s body within a few hours of their making the decision. They’d both know what changes they wanted to let occur and what changes they wanted to keep from occurring.

Danielle, age five.

Danielle’s hair is longer now and when she and Amy are together no one seems to doubt that they are both girls. She and Amy have decided to wear dresses to school as often as they can, particularly the first few days, to help insure that Danielle is accepted as being a girl. I had to get creative, but with the help of a Hispanic friend I got Danielle’s birth certificate corrected to show her name and sex as she wanted them shown.

Danielle was still visiting her pediatrician as Danny. I found a doctor in a nearby city who had adult transgender patients and was young enough to still be there when Danielle graduated from high school. I got him to take on Danielle and Amy as patients. I explained that Danny (on his medical records) had been Danielle to everyone except her pediatrician for over a year and said that she’d always known that she was a girl; she just had the wrong kind of body. She’d be attending kindergarten as a girl, and I needed a copy of her immunization record that had her new name on it. He had a long and private talk with Danielle and Amy, her best friend and only confidant. He talked to them privately and afterwards gave me the corrected immunization record. He said he’d heard of transgender girls transitioning when they were three, but he’d never expected to have one for a patient. I showed him my picture album showing Danielle as a girl for two years, and he said that I should continue taking pictures. Almost all transsexual girls had to hide their past, Danielle would really value that album when she got older. He’d never heard of going though puberty the way we intended and I gave him a copy of the information I had, promising more detail in the future.

I talked to several nearby schools that Amy and Danielle could attend, explaining to each that the girls were special friends, and that they would be going to school in a school system that would promise to keep them in the same classes until high school and then at the same school. Most asked me if this was just a whim or if I had a good reason for my request. I said that I had a compelling reason, but my attorney agreed with me that I shouldn’t disclose that reason and that it would be best for the girls if I could find a school system that would accept them without my needing his help. If I had trouble he’d pay a visit to the attorney for each school system and have an off-the-record conversation with him. He thought that they’d all rather cooperate than see him in court. Did “compelling” mean that the reason was good enough to get a court order with the court record sealed so the school system attorney knew but couldn’t tell the school system, and if so, was I willing to give them my word on that? Yes, that was exactly what I meant, and of course I’d give them my word on that. They agreed that not involving attorneys was in the girls’ best interest so they’d accept what I’d told them. Could they talk to the girls before committing themselves, so they could be reasonably sure that the girls weren’t going to be an undue burden on the school? Yes, of course. I was calling school systems today and would like to see the school where they’d be going to kindergarten. I’d bring the girls along tomorrow and visit both the central administration and that school, and they could give me their decision after talking privately to the girls. Nancy went along, and we were left with several school systems to choose from. The girls both wanted the same one, and it was acceptable to Nancy and I, so that’s where they went to school.

Danielle, age seven.

There haven’t been any problems at school, and I finally have detailed charts showing what happens during puberty for boys, girls, transgender girls who start taking female hormones at eight, transgender girls who start taking hormones part way through male puberty, and transgender girls who follow the complex path we’d chosen. There are columns for dates for each of the girls who are in on Danielle’s secret on the chart for girls and a column for Danielle on the other charts.

Danielle, age seven years, six months.

I asked Danielle what she had decided. Was she certain that she was ready to begin the process of changing her body from a boy’s body into a woman’s body? Yes.

Her doctor had recommended a child psychiatrist competent to handle transgender issues, and now that Danielle had made this decision it was time for her to have her first visit with him. They didn’t need to be frequent yet, but he needed to know what she was like now so he could notice changes and ask about them.

The first session was a family session, and Danielle and I both considered Amy family, so she went along. Amy told the psychiatrist that she thought that we had the problem under control and said that if he couldn’t identify the problem that Danielle had and had to ask me what it was, then he should be willing to put in his first day’s notes that Danielle appeared to be a normal girl without any major problems.

After talking to Danielle for a while, he told Amy that she was right, he couldn’t find anything wrong. He asked me to tell him about the problem. I explained that Danielle was a transgender girl. He asked Danielle if she didn’t consider that a big problem. She said no, she’s been a girl since she bought her first girl’s clothes when she was three, and she hadn’t had any problems going to school as a girl. There were minor restrictions on her life, mainly not letting others see or intimately touch her body, but she didn’t expect any serious problems until puberty.

I showed him Danielle’s photo album and he said to keep up the good work. It was unusual for anyone to have proof that good that they’d transitioned so young and so successfully.

He asked me if I’d support Danielle if she decided to have surgery so she’d be able to function sexually as a girl? Yes, I’d been saving money to pay for that. He said that, based on what he had heard today, none of us had a problem now, but he could see that he’d have to work with us to keep a record of that as Danielle matured and that we’d need his help in the future. He said that the next session he wanted to talk to us one at a time and asked me who he should talk to first. I said Amy; she’d been serving at Danielle’s therapist for four years. He asked Danielle if she agreed and she said that she couldn’t have gotten through those years without Amy’s help.

After the second visit, he asked for a professional courtesy visit with Amy so they could exchange information privately. He’d be talking to her as Danielle’s therapist, so I wasn’t going to be charged for it. He asked Amy where they could meet to talk in private. She asked him if he’d enjoy a meeting in a hot tub. He said that he had a spa that he enjoyed, but that you could stay longer in a hot tub. Was it private enough? I explained that it was our hot tub, and that it was private enough that it was rare for anyone to wear a swimming suit in it. He said that he’d bring a suit along and Amy said that that was fine, but he shouldn’t put it on unless he was a prude.

Amy, Danielle, and I all agreed that Amy should be the one to talk about our plans for Danielle’s puberty, so I made waterproof copies of the puberty chart that I had prepared for Danielle for Amy to show the psychiatrist while they were talking in the hot tub.

They spent a long time talking, and, as expected, neither of them would ever say a word about anything that they had discussed other than our puberty plans. He said that they made sense to him and that since an endocrinologist had agreed, he thought that we should go ahead and start now. I told him that he must have been willing to talk to her without a swimming suit, because Amy had told me that she trusted him, and she wouldn’t have trusted him if he hadn’t trusted himself in the tub with her. If that had happened, she would have asked me to find a different psychiatrist. He said that she hadn’t left him much choice. She’d taken him into the changing room, said that she didn’t have a swimming suit, taken off her clothes, told him that she took short showers and he should hurry up, and went into the shower. He didn’t think that he’d be getting off to a very good start with his visit if he insisted on being a prude. He said that his visit with Amy had given him a lot of respect for her ability as a therapist; Danielle was lucky to have her. He’d told Amy that she should consider getting a master’s degree in psychology. Those people got paid for doing what she had done for Danielle.

Danielle, age eight.

I’m Danielle’s best friend, Amy. Danielle began taking 1 µg per day of ethinyl estradiol, a synthetic estrogen that would prepare her for breast development but not interfere with her male puberty.

Danielle, age nine.

About four months ago, Danielle started taking 100 mg Sustanon 250 depot injections every two weeks to induce her male puberty early. She’ll need the injections six months to be sure that it continues after the injections stop. Sustanon 250 is a mixture of four different forms of testosterone. I checked the size of her testicles periodically so I would notice when it began. That recently happened, and I’ve written down the date it happened. I’ll be watching more closely now and writing down a number of dates and measurements. In about a year, her boy’s body should be ready to have its first ejaculation.

Danielle and I had been spending a lot of time with another girl, Megan, and had decided that she could be trusted with Danielle’s secret. We brought Megan to Danielle’s place for skinny-dipping and we all took off our clothes, had a shower, and got in the water. Megan had been first and hadn’t gotten a look at Danielle then, but after they’d been swimming for a while she noticed that Danielle had a boy’s body. She turned accusingly to me and said, “Have you been able to pass this boy off as a girl for four years without anyone noticing?” I said, “I’ve been doing it for six years without anyone noticing. You’re the first one we’ve trusted enough to show you her secret.”

It took a lot of explaining, mostly by Amy, before Megan could accept that Danielle really was a girl; she was just stuck in a boy’s body. Once she accepted it, she became just as protective of Danielle as Amy had been. They took her up to Danielle’s room to look at the information I’d prepared for them years ago.

Danielle, age nine years, six months.

Danielle’s pubic hair started growing recently, and I now have to watch for any that grows in the area that needs to be hair-free for sexual reassignment surgery. This hair needs to be removed by electrolysis when it is about ¼ inch long and still fine and easy to remove.

Danielle, Megan, and I decided to trust one more girl with Danielle’s secret. Shelby was put through the same learning process as Megan had been, with the same results. She was the final one to be let in on the secret; we’d decided years before that three was the right number to help Danielle through puberty. We’d told Danielle that she shouldn’t know in detail what her friends were going to do after she was able to ejaculate.

Danielle, age nine years, ten months.

Today, when I was holding Danielle’s penis and getting ready to stretch it to measure its length, it responded strongly to my touch. I told Danielle that her body appeared to be ready for its first ejaculation. First, I wanted her to learn how to use her mouth and tongue to give me an orgasm. She objected that girls aren’t supposed to do that to girls and I told her that, until her male organs were removed during sexual reassignment surgery, Megan, Shelby, and I got to enjoy them and she would soon realize that she was going to enjoy what we did with them. It was always more pleasurable for both if the boy gave the girl pleasure first, so that was the way we were going to do it.

I had to do a bit of teaching, but Danielle finally gave me a nice orgasm. She had an erection most of the time she was pleasuring me, and I told her that I’d now return the favor, but I wasn’t going to hurry as fast as she wanted me to hurry. She needed to learn to pace herself to provide me pleasure, not always be in a hurry for her own pleasure. She soon began to beg me to hurry up and let her ejaculate for the first time. She could feel things happening in her body that she’d never felt before and her body didn’t like waiting. After about ten minutes, I finally took pity on her and let her ejaculate. I told her that it meant a lot to me that the first semen that I’d ever drunk was also the first semen that her body had ever produced.

I explained to her about the male refractory period and when she was able to respond again we had intercourse with me on top and in control. After a second refractory period, we had intercourse with her on top and under orders to be as slow as she could; I wanted time to enjoy what she was doing.

I told her that it was time put her male puberty on hold and start her breasts growing, so she’d be developing breasts at about the same time as most other girls. She’d be taking Diane 35 birth control pills that each contain 35 µg of ethinyl estradiol and 2 mg of cyprotrone acetate. She’ll be taking a higher dose than used for birth control; three pills a day. The cyprotone acetate servers two functions. As a synthetic progesterone, it would cause her milk glands to develop, so her breasts would be functional if she ever wanted to breast-feed a child. As a very low dose of anti-androgen it, in conjunction with the etyinyl estradiol, would reduce her testosterone level enough to keep her male puberty from advancing, while not reducing it enough to keep her penis from continuing to grow or to interfere with the girls enjoying sexual activity with her.

If her male puberty showed signs of advancing, I could give her half an Androcur 50 pill every other day, which would up her cyprotone acetate from 6 to 18 mg per day, but I found that I didn’t need to do that.

Megan, Shelby, and I got together with Danielle to talk. We didn’t want her being intimate with anyone else, so we had to all learn about the pleasures of intercourse together. Danielle wouldn’t be fertile for over two years, so we didn’t having to worry about someone getting pregnant. I suggested that we take a couple of months learning what we liked, and then we’d all talk again.

Danielle, age ten.

We all got together again, and talked about what things we’d enjoyed the most. I asked Danielle to tell us first how she’d felt about it. She told us that she’d really enjoyed most of what we’d done and that she got the most enjoyment from being aroused the entire time she was giving one of us an orgasm and then our being ever so slow to bring about her ejaculation. To her surprise, she liked one of us being in control better than she liked being in control herself—she always got in a hurry and didn’t take time to enjoy it enough. She hadn’t wanted a penis in the first place, but since she was going be able to enjoy hers for the next four years, and since we clearly also enjoyed it, we’d make full use of those years, but when they were over and it was time for her body to be converted from a boy’s body into a girl’s body she’d also be glad to have that over and move on to being a girl in both mind and body.

We each hugged her and told her that we’d give her as much pleasure as we could. I told her that I wanted us to try something different now. I’d learned how to get her close to ejaculating, but not let her ejaculate until I wanted her to. If the other girls hadn’t learned how to do that, I’d tell them how. I wanted all of us do to again the things that we or Danielle had most enjoyed, but I didn’t want us to let her ejaculate. That way, we wouldn’t have to wait out her refractory period each time, so we could do it in a week or two, rather than two months. Then, whoever was best at it would teach Danielle to work together with her to keep from ejaculating. Finally, she’d teach Danielle how to keep from ejaculating while she did what would formerly have caused an ejaculation. She’d prevent it from happening if Danielle lost control, but we wanted Danielle to learn self-control. Danielle said that she’d thought that she had to ejaculate whenever one of us wanted her to ejaculate. She’d enjoy learning how to keep that from happening.

I said that we needed to get some of Danielle’s male organs ready for sexual reassignment surgery. There were a few things we should learn how to do. Danielle’s Cowper’s Glands needed to grow and produce plenty of precoital fluid because they would serve the same function when Danielle had a girl’s body, and transsexual girls almost always fail to produce enough lubricant. One of us needed to find a way to get her to continue producing precoital fluid without ejaculating.

Danielle’s prostate needed to grow larger, as it would be continue to be responsible for producing her orgasm after her body was turned into a girl’s body, and it would shrink some from going without testosterone for about a year after her surgery. One of us needed to find a way to stretch it or otherwise make it grow.

Danielle’s penis needed to grow longer, and it had done that during the last two months. Maybe one of us could find a way to make it grow faster.

Danielle’s scrotum needed to continue to grow larger. Maybe one of us could find a way to make it grow faster.

Danielle, age eleven.

We all got together again to talk about what we’d accomplished and what more we could do before Danielle’s male puberty resumed in about another year.

Shelby had learned that if she spent Saturday or Sunday at Danielle’s home and spent about eight hours taking Danielle to the brink of ejaculation, having Danielle give her an orgasm while she waited for Danielle to make more semen, and then doing it again. Each repetition put more semen in Danielle’s prostate, stretching it a little more each time. Each increase in the pressure in Danielle’s prostate made her more desperate to ejaculate, but that each time would add less fluid to the prostate, so it wouldn’t burst. When it was stretched it to near its limit it became very uncomfortable and Danielle would plead for Shelby to let her ejaculate. When Shelby finally let Danielle ejaculate, the unusually large volume of semen made Danielle’s ejaculation last longer and they’d both enjoyed that. Over the months she’d been doing it, Danielle’s volume of semen had been increasing, so Shelby knew that she’d been successful.

Danielle and I’d been spending time together in her hot tub and swimming pool at least once a week ever since we were three. When we spent a long time in the hot tub, I’d noticed that her scrotum hung low, with her testicles lying relaxed on the bottom. I’d found that, if I was careful, I could hold onto her testicles and pull down, stretching her scrotum a little. I’d been doing this every time we were in the hot tub and her scrotum was growing faster than it’d been growing before I thought to do this.

Megan had learned how to get Danielle to produce precoital fluid without having to be arouse so much that it was hard to avoid causing her to ejaculate. She’d gotten Danielle to produce drops faster, which meant that her Cowper’s Glands must have gotten larger. She’d also gotten Danielle to produce many more drops before ejaculating, which she also wanted.

None of us found anything that we were sure made Danielle’s penis grow faster, but we thought that many of the things we were doing were probably helping.

I suggested that we should each find things we and Danielle enjoyed doing that resulted in her penis being inside us for a significant length of time, but did not result in her ejaculating. Once her male puberty resumed, she’d probably be producing sperm within six months, and we should have things we could continue doing without being afraid of getting pregnant.

Danielle, age twelve.

Danielle’s breasts have been developing nicely and recently her hips have gotten wider, giving her a more feminine look. She’s been wearing a bra under thin tops, but not wearing one when she’s wearing something thick like a sweater. She’ll need to continue that so no one will notice that her breasts aren’t developing any more. It’s time for her to stop taking any pills so her male puberty will continue.

Danielle’s mother, Linda, and I had been talking about finding her a surgeon for sexual reassignment surgery. Now, we knew that the optimum time for that surgery would be in a little over a year and a half. Danielle got a preliminary letter from her psychiatrist that we could show to, or read to, potential sexual reassignment surgery surgeons.

I expected it to be very difficult to find a surgeon willing to do sexual reassignment surgery at a little under fourteen, and it was. Linda called first; we thought that they would want to start by talking to Danielle’s mother. She told them that she had known since Danielle was three that she would probably want sexual reassignment surgery, and had started then putting money away each month in a fund for that purpose. I soon took over the talking, as I could answer detailed questions better.

I explained what Danielle was like at three, when she first bought clothes in the girls’ department and never went back to wearing boys’ clothes. I told how easy it was getting her accepted as a girl in kindergarten, elementary school, and now middle school. I said that only three of us girls knew that she had a boy’s body, the other students and all the adults at the school accepted her as a normal girl.

I was asked if Danielle did other things, besides shopping and going to school, where she was known as a girl. Had she really had the real-life experience of living convincingly as a girl for a long period of time, which was necessary for her to be eligible for sexual reassignment surgery without prior hormone treatment? I said that she’d read to young children at the city library one summer, but she hadn’t found any paying jobs suitable for so young a girl. She knew that she might need documentation of passing as a girl, and she had receipts for all of her purchases of female clothing dating back to when she was three, school report cards from teachers who clearly thought that she was a girl, and “to who it may concern” letters from her elementary school principal and a librarian, telling about their experiences with her and obviously believing that she was a girl. We also had many pictures from age three on, documenting her nine years of passing as a girl.

I explained in detail Danielle’s plans for puberty and just where she was in that process. I explained what we’d done so far, and what we’d be doing from now on, to get her male organs ready for sexual reassignment surgery.

I said that she didn’t want sexual reassignment surgery early so she could start having sex with boys sooner; she wanted it early so it would be more successful intended to wait until her female puberty was complete before having sex with a boy.

I described the kind of a social life she’d had; somewhat restricted to avoid anyone discovering that she wasn’t a boy, but otherwise normal. I said that she made overnight visits to the three of us who knew that she had a boy’s body, and would continue to do so throughout puberty. We thought that it was important that she not see us as rejecting her as her boy’s body began to develop. I said that she also had “to whom it may concern” letters from the mothers of the other two girls because those mothers didn’t realize that Danielle had a boy’s body.

I was asked why we had taken such an unnecessary risk and explained that it was a necessary risk. We needed to be able to show that Danielle had “passed convincingly” as a girl and we needed those mothers used to Danielle spending occasional nights sharing a bed with their daughters. I didn’t know anything more convincing than those letters.

Linda read them the preliminary letter from Danielle’s psychiatrist. He told about the four years that he’d known her. He explained why he thought that her complicated puberty plans were the right choice for her. He explained why he thought that she would greatly benefit from having sexual reassignment surgery quickly after terminating her male puberty and well before the usual age for sexual reassignment surgery. He also explained that he had told her about the various alternatives to having sexual reassignment surgery so young, and that she had explained very well why each one was unacceptable, and was child abuse. He agreed with her, and, if the Standards of Care were used as an excuse to deny her sexual reassignment surgery, he was bound by law to report that as a suspected case of child abuse within twenty-four hours of being made aware of it, and the state was bound by law to conduct an adequate investigation. He said that Danielle had insisted that there must be a good surgeon somewhere in the world who had enough compassion to be willing to ignore the part of the Standards of Care that violated the criminal laws against child abuse. Linda said that she agreed with what he had written and so did her attorney. He also explained that the Standards of Care didn’t consider the possibility that anyone might begin their real-life experience well before puberty, and therefore wasn’t applicable to such persons.

Everyone agreed that the Standards of Care was a major problem and admitted that they didn’t think that anyone had ever considered what would happen if a formal complaint of child abuse was made. As the psychiatrist and I had both pointed out, the rule that the person to be on female hormones for at least a year before surgery was well met in Danielle’s case; she’d already been on them for over two years. The minimum age requirement of the rules would have to be weighed carefully against the child abuse laws, particularly since those were criminal law and the standards of care only mattered in civil law cases, not criminal law cases. We were going to have a great deal of difficulty finding a good surgeon who would go against the Standards of Care and we might have to go to court to force the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association to change the Standards of Care. However, they also realized that we were raising this issue about a year and a half before Danielle would be needing sexual reassignment surgery so that there would be adequate time to revise the Standards of Care, or for Linda to seek a restraining order against their being applied to Danielle. As expected, it was difficult, but in the end we found one acceptable surgeon without having to go to court, and one was enough.

Danielle, age twelve years, eleven months.

Danielle’s penis has begun growing in girth. We knew that Danielle would be fertile before I terminated her male puberty, so I checked her semen periodically for sperm. When I first saw sperm, I warned Megan, Shelby, and Danielle that she was potentially fertile and that they needed to keep that in mind. Her sperm count was higher now and we have to be more careful. She’s started taking three Diane 35 birth control pills a day again. This will have the side effect of reducing her testosterone production enough to keep her larynx from growing and causing her voice to change, while not reducing it enough to keep her penis from continuing to grow, to interfere with sperm production, or to interfere with the girls continuing to enjoy sexual activity with her.

All of us got together and talked about ways to get Danielle’s penis to grow in girth as quickly as possible, as Danielle couldn’t have surgery until it was large enough. Shelby pointed out that what she’d been doing to get Danielle’s prostate to grow also made Danielle’s penis uncomfortably large, so she’d probably be able to speed up the process.

Danielle, her mother, and I went to have a consultation with her surgeon. We took the necessary two letters of recommendation and Danielle’s photo album with us and everything went well. The surgeon took longer than usual; he hadn’t had a patient this young and wanted to be sure that she understood what need to happen between now and when she had her surgery.

Danielle, age thirteen years, seven months.

I’d had to keep a close watch on the growth of Danielle’s larynx and would have had to terminate her male puberty immediately if that started to avoid her voice breaking. Fortunately, the birth control pills did their job and I didn’t need to terminate her male puberty because of that.

Danielle was fertile and I made arrangements with two sperm banks to store her sperm, just in case she ever wanted to use it. She said that she was certain that she didn’t want to use it. I told her that if she didn’t want to use it, Megan, Shelby, or I might decide that we wanted to use it. I’d keep our options open.

Danielle’s penis had become long and thick enough for sexual reassignment surgery. I asked her if she was sure she was ready for surgery. Yes. I told her mother, Linda, that Danielle was ready for surgery as soon as it could be scheduled, but we needed to know when to stop giving her hormones.

Soon I started daily injections of 10 mg of Cetrorelix, a GnRH antagonist, which would continue until she had sexual reassignment surgery. It would take about eight days for it to shut down hormone and sperm in her testicles. After that, she’d stop taking Diane 35 well before surgery, as her surgeon had requested, without that letting her male puberty to advance.

Danielle, age thirteen years, eight months.

Danielle and I talked to the surgeon again the day before her surgery, but that was mostly a formality, given her prior visit.

Danielle had sexual reassignment surgery, both vaginoplasty and labioplasty. I stayed with Danielle until she was able to come home; I knew that she wasn’t going to be happy with a long stay in bed and unable to do much more than read. We’d worked out a schedule with the hospital and surgeon so I wasn’t limited to just visiting hours, but would avoid times that weren’t convenient for them.

Soon after the surgery, she resumed taking three Diane 35 birth control pills a day. She’ll also need to increase her estrogen dosage to stop her bone growth at a typical female height. She’ll also take half an Androcur 50 pill a day (it’s cyprotrone acetate), an anti-androgen, for ten months to counteract pituitary testosterone and speed up the atrophy of the internal male sexual organs that are not wanted in a transsexual girl.

Danielle, age fourteen.

Danielle’s stopped ejaculating when her clitoris is stimulated; atrophy from lack of testosterone has rendered the semen producing glands inoperative. Soon afterwards, she was able to have repeated orgasms like she could before she first ejaculated and like other girls are able to have.

Danielle, age fifteen years, one month.

Danielle’s female puberty was over, and she was now a young woman. Atrophy of her unneeded internal male organs was complete and she began taking testosterone to increase her libido. She reduced her Diane 35 birth control pills to one a day, which she’ll need to take for the rest of her life. We were still as inseparable as ever. Danielle was happier than I’d ever seen her, now that she was no longer living in an unwanted boy’s body. She’d lost her virginity as a boy with me over five years ago and was now ready to lose her virginity for a second time, this time as a girl, when she found the right boy. There wasn’t any reason to hurry that; she wanted to make a careful choice.

Danielle, age sixteen.

Danielle just got her driver’s license and passport. She’s finally got more than just her school identification to prove that she’s a girl. She asked me how I thought that we’d managed to avoid ever getting caught, and I told her it was because she had been so certain, ever since she was three, that she was a girl. I remember once, before we started school, that someone told her that she looked a lot like a boy. She told him that it was because her mother had wanted a boy and had insisted on getting her boys’ haircuts. She’d finally gotten her mother to stop that, and as soon as her hair got longer, he’d be able to tell that she was a girl. He looked at her and said that she was right; with longer hair she’d look like a girl.

I’ve been thinking about the nuisance it was having the hair removed from Danielle’s penis and scrotum. I understand that there are several new topical anti-androgens under development. They aren’t supposed to get inside the body, so they are safe to use on males. I wonder what would happen if you regularly applied them to a transgender girl’s penis and scrotum during the time that pubic hair normally appeared and got thicker. Would it keep the hair follicles from forming? I think that it would and might be better than removing the hair later. It would certainly insure that you didn’t get hair growing in the vagina, as I’ve heard has happened occasionally. Oh well, that’ll all be up to someone else to find out.

Danielle and I don’t spend so much time together anymore. The emotional bonds will last a lifetime and it’s nice to be able to see each other whenever we want, but we don’t have to live near each other anymore.