STEP FOUR

The next few weeks of my journey were both difficult and exciting for me. I missed my twice daily IM sessions with Tom, but continued to take my Androcur treatments of 50 mg twice daily as i had for the past two months.

It seems some time ago when i would wake up each morning with a raging hard-on, consumed by lustful thoughts as i jacked-off to begin the day, enjoying my baby-smooth body as i rubbed my cock against my hairless pubes. The narrow area of white flesh, high-lighted by my thong's tan lines would become the landing-strip for my first jet of cum each day. Laying in bed, i'd rub the jizz onto my skin. Rather than using a wash cloth to clean-up as in the past, i became accustomed to licking my hands clean and allowing the thin coating of cum to slowly dry.

After packing my gym bag with a fresh towel, i'd don one of my smallest Speedo Solars and then put my business clothes over it before heading downtown to the Y to swim my laps.

I'd delight as my smooth body met the cool water each morning. Although i'd concentrate on my workout, i always took a few moments to look at the other guys. Although many were elderly at that time of day, there were always a few guys my age or younger who swam each day. Initially, they wore their "dork shorts" and dragged them through the water as we swam for distance. Perhaps i started a trend as all but one slowly changed to Speedos or at least form-fitting jammers. Once furry bellys and legs also gave-way to trimmed or smooth looks.

Out of the water, we'd head for the steam room where we were often greeted by a few older guys we dubbed the "shower queens" and gave them numbers to refer to each. We would often greet each other with something like: "SQ1 is here today, watch-out! " You know, the kind of guys that are usually married, but head to the Y each day to strip down and hang-out in the sauna or shower. I never once saw SQ 1-4 don a swimsuit or workout gear, but they seemed omnipresent.

At first this bothered me, but as time went on, i looked forward to giving them a little show as i showered. I think of this now because i wonder what will happen should i return from Pittsburgh in a few weeks with my now-soft penis permanently attached to a ring between my anus and my shriveled sack if Tom does what he suggested. What will they think of rings pierced into each nipple? Well, i doubt they will be thinking of the nipples first.

It's so different now. When i wake-up i don't have the urge to fondle myself anymore. Rather, i sleep in an extra 20 minutes and then take my medicine before heading to the Y. Where i once sported a nice "speedo bulge" my suit-lines are much more smooth. The coolness of the water and the shower-area would seem more than enough excuse to be a little small. However, coming from the steam room seems to remove that modest cover for any who think of it.

Nevertheless, SQ1 and his fellows still appear to follow me around and materialize, as if from thin air, as soon as i close my eyes to shampoo my hair. "I see you got some sun this weekend" SQ2 remarked after studying my thong-line on my butt. "Yeah, i love summer and worship that blazing ball of fire in the sky the few days a year that it appears!" i offer. "Yeah, me and the wife enjoy..." as i slowly tune him out. I wonder if he knows he is talking to a chemically castrated eunuch? If not, he'd have to say something a lot hotter than "me and my wife..." alas. I then shave, naked at the mirror and get dressed after applying shave-minimizing moisturizer to my body, taking special care in my favorite places. This drives SQ3 nuts as he steals furtive glances from across the aisle. I smile and inquire about his cats before going to work.

After driving home, i make a light dinner for me and my two dogs after playing fetch with them in the back yard. I'll normally watch the news and do a few chores before turning back to my treatment.

Each evening, i now need to will myself to strip down and after taking my medication, unwrap the huge arm & fist that Tom shipped me. Only my desire to please him and serve another man now drives me to an act that used to define my existence- masturbation.

After laying out a fresh towel, and putting on some soft music, i lay down with my ass propped-up over a few towel-covered pillows. Taking a can of crisco (now trans-fat free!), i first lube the fist and then half-way up the arm before working in the excess directly into my ass. First one finger, then two, then three and finally four.

My cock barely registers and remains mostly retracted, no longer splayed across my still-smooth pubes. I smile as i gaze down at it, looking more like an eleven-year old boy than a mature man. This look is what started me on the path to begin with, and now i am achieving it. I saw a great before/after picture of a young man who has been on Androcur for two years. He went from several inches flaccid to barely nothing. Like me, he stays smooth making the transition even more radically pronounced. When i look like a seven-year old like him, i will be happy.

Once relaxed, i take the arm in my left hand and slowly press it's fist against my butt hole, getting the angle just right for a less-taxing penetration. Like anything, it gets easier with practice. Although mostly futile, and perhaps more from habit and memory than from actual need, i slowly rub my cock and balls with my right hand. Feeling more flush than aroused, i increase the pressure with the latex arm until with a near-pop, it passes my sphinster and into my ass.

At this point, i'll usually wait for my ass to adjust to the fullness before pressing the arm ever further into me. Slowly, i increase the pressure and then relax, pressure... relax... in... out..,. in... out. The first few times, i thought i'd tore my ass muscles completely open, but with daily use, i've grown accustomed to the feeling of fullness, each day getting another inch or so further, reaching the widest part of the arm after the third week. As instructed, i do this special workout for at least 30 minutes, six days a week, Removing the fist is both painful and pleasurable, i often will take a hand mirror to gaze at my distended hole and marvel at what it just took.

After cleaning-up, this can get a little messy, even after an enema or two, i often feel too empty. My largest butt plug is just the cure and now easily slides into place. I need to wear a jock strap with the two elastic bands moved into my ass-crack to hold the plug in place now. Each morning, i place a panty-liner in my underwear before packing them in the gym bag as i tend to leak a little during the day.

Once cleaned-up and fully plugged, i'll log onto the computer, check my email and then visit my favorite site, the Eunuch Archive. Whereas i used to first go to the new stories section, i often now go right to the Message Board to communicate with my "fellow" eunuchs and those who are curious. I am now completely relaxed and at ease with myself and with others. I enjoy sharing IMs and emails with others who are curious as to my new condition and want to know how my treatments have progressed.

Even though i look to see who is on-line, i never once saw Tom listed, He's either left me completely, or maybe is following my progress using an alias, i wishfully think. This thought drives me to make very comprehensive reports of my progress on the Board and to post updated pictures on my personal webpage. I am always careful to credit Tom for getting me started down the path. Without his stern guidance, i would never have been able to swallow my first pill and get the treatment that i needed.

Needless to say, i receive wide support for my journey and only the occasional rude email questioning my sanity or my salvation.  The latter make me grimace, but i hold my retort knowing that a person would not be on the archive in the first place if being a eunuch did not fascinate or excite him (or her for that matter). Perhaps they need to do what monks have done for a millennia and chastise themselves in the pursuit of purity, i reasoned. If more priests did that today, the Church would be a lot better of.

STEP FIVE

The 30 days came and went almost before i realized it. The 4^th of July long-weekend was fast approaching. After receiving another 90 day supply of Androcur from England (not too happy that the dollar has fallen so low against the pound), i prepared to call Tom using the number he sent me.

To set the mood, i made sure to Nair all over (Nair for Men, the pink stuff burns) and then work his gift into my ass. After, donning some alligator nipple clamps (OUCH!) i knelt down on the carpet and reached for the phone. My hand was shaking so bad, i had to redial the number twice... RING... RING.... RING... i let it ring for at least two minutes, no answer! To say that i was crushed was an understatement.

I then waddled downstairs to my den and logged on to the computer, needing to stand before the monitor as the arm was sticking mostly out of my ass. No IMs,.. no email... in near panic, i logged onto the EArchive. He was not there, no postings, no listing in the current viewers, nothing.

"I knew it couldn't be true. These things just don't happen to me. What will i do now?."
I stayed on-line checking all the new postings and replying to some of them. As i continued, i slowly came to grips with my new reality. This is what i wanted, this is what i needed. Tom may have been a catalyst, but he was not the reason. My journey has taken me to places i always wished to be, but was too afraid to go. Now, i'm there. I should thank Tom and remember him fondly, not feel ill-will of any kind. I am a eunuch now and sex is not my center. Sure, submitting to the will of another is fun and fuliflling, but there are others out there who would love to have a eunuch sub, there must be. Even if i stay single, i am calm and in control of my future. I have done the right thing, for me, and no one else.
Just before i went to log off, however, my eye caught something in the upper right corner of the screen. Private Messages: 1 Unread. That was not there when i logged on!

I quickly clicked on the message and was greeted by the following: "Malecheii, i have been following your progress and am pleased. Rather than a call, I thought it would be best to use the Archive to give you your next instruction as this is where we first met- Take US Airways to Pittsburgh and arrive here Thursday on the 1:58 p.m. flight. I will meet you at the baggage claim area- not that you are to bring anything other than a toothbrush. I have made all the arrangements to take you on the next step of your journey. Tom."

I fell to my knees with tears in my eyes, balling like the 11 year-old that i now resembled, After a few minutes, i meekly clicked on the reply button and typed "i will be there, sir. Malecheii."