I waited around Rabid Ink looking at pictures of other people’s tattoos & piercings until I was the only one in the room. I’d gotten several piercing and tattoos from Mandy in the past and I felt comfortable with her. She came up to greet me and asked if I’d found any thing that I liked. With all the courage that I could muster I told her that I didn’t want a tattoo or piercing. Well then what do you want she calmly asked? I sat on one of the stools and told her that ever since I was about sixteen that I had a strange and overwhelming desire. She looked at me with a puzzled face so I continued to explain. I said, Mandy for years I’ve wanted to be castrated. Her eyes got wide and she was shocked to say the least. But before she could say anything I said, "I know it’s hard to believe but I just don’t want my testicles. At times I feel sexually out of control and I’m afraid of myself, what I might do. I’ve even cut my scrotum open, and tried to remove them on my own, but I couldn’t do it. Then Mandy said, "Why don’t you tell your doctor?" I said, "I’ve been to doctors and psychologists and they all try to remove the desire but it doesn’t go away." I must be castrated and I’m here to ask you to help me. Mandy was even more shocked. She said, "I can pierce you, I can give you a tattoo, even a branding, but I cannot castrate you. I’ve never castrated anyone and I don’t thing I can. It’s not even legal." Then I told her, "You could learn and I’d pay you two thousand dollars and it wouldn’t even take an hour. I’ll even sign a consent form stating that I requested it and then legally you wouldn’t be held accountable." Mandy looked at me with an amazed look and said, "Two thousand dollars? You’d pay me two thousand dollars to castrate you?" Yes, I replied! I’ll even make it $2500.00 if you agree to film it. Then Mandy began to think. She shook her head and looked at me. "I’m afraid that you might bleed to death, she replied." I turned to her and said, "I’ve been planning this for years. I know how I want to be castrated and the bleeding will be minimal." "Then explain how you want to do this," she said.

Well I said, "There’s a castrating instrument that uses a metal clamp. You put the metal clamp around the scrotum, encircling it and then it loosely snaps in place. Next you place the plier like ends of the instrument on the metal clamp. You close the handles and it crimps the metal clamp tightly in place. Once crimped in place, there’s no way to get it off. Now the testicles are banded and ready to be removed or castrated. There’s small pruning like shears included. They’ve got semi-circular blades that form a perfect hole when squeezed together. As you squeeze the handles the hole gets smaller & smaller and the razor like blades snip off your balls & scrotum, or my balls and scrotum. You simply place the blades below the band, squeeze the handles together and the balls drop right off. It’s quick and easy. The only blood will be the blood that’s left in the scrotum & testicles. Or you can crimp two clamps on my scrotum & testicles. Then when you cut my balls off, they’ll be sealed inside my scrotum by one clamp and the other clamp will seal my remaining scrotum to my body. Look I said, I’ll give you the instruments and the instructions so you can read how it’s done. You can even practice with it. Mandy still seemed worried and unsure. Finally she said, "Can I have some time to think about it?" I said sure. Then I added, "Do you want the instruments to look over?" She looked up and said with innocent eyes, "Alright that might help with my decision." I got up and told her that I’d be right back. I went out to the car and opened the trunk and took out my castrating device. Mandy was waiting at the door and when I walked back in she asked me, "Are you going to keep your balls and sack after you are castrated?" I smiled and told her no, that I never wanted to see them again. I saw a slight smile come upon her face and then I turned and left. About a week later Mandy called and asked if I’d stop in to see her. So we set a time and when I arrived, there was a closed sign on the door. I knocked and Mandy let me in. She asked me if I wanted something to drink, but I declined. We sat down and she said, "Well, I agree to do your castration with some conditions. First, I want an assistant. I’ll feel better if I have a friend to assist me." Fine I said, as long as your friend is not a he. Mandy assured me that her friend was a she. Second, Mandy said, "I want a copy of the video we make of your castration to sell. I’ve read about men like you who have a castration fixation and if things go well, well you never know where it might lead." Agreed I said. I only want a copy for myself, but I don’t want my face filmed. Mandy agreed not to film my face. "Third, I want to mark you. I want to leave a lasting imprint on you so that you always remember who castrated you." I looked at her curiously and she said, "I’m going to put a tattoo on you that says, "Eunuch by Mandy or Castrated by Mandy." All right I replied. She smiled back and said, "Lastly I want to keep your scrotum and testic..." I interrupted her saying, "There yours." But Mandy grinned and finished her original sentence. "I want your scrotum, your testicles, and the tip of your penis." I stammered and said, "You want the tip of my penis?" Mandy said, "If you want me to castrate you then that’s what I want, besides it won’t be any use to you any ways, will it? I read that castrated men can’t get erections and that their penises eventually shrink, so what good will it be to you? Besides, I only want the tip."

She had a point but I hadn’t planned on giving it up. As I was thinking Mandy said, "I want to encase the tip of your penis in plastic crystal and wear it as a jewel on my necklace. I’ll treasure it always. It’ll be a lasting reminder of what I did to you and what you gave to me. I’ll show it off to other women and they’ll be jealous of me. I need it desperately and if you want me to castrate you, you must give it to me." Wow, I wanted her to castrate me in the worst kind of way and if she really wanted the tip of my penis, then I was willing to give it to her. Finally I said, "You can have it Mandy!" "Really," she cried! Really, I said. She kissed me and said, "Then it’s a deal." We shook hands and Mandy pulled out a contract for me to sign. It had all the conditions on it and a statement that said I requested the castration and gave her my permission & consent. After I signed it she asked me to step into the back room so that she could see what she was getting. She opened my pants and roughly pulled out my penis. She said, "It’s a beautiful penis and the tip is red & ripe!" That was an unusual way of describing it, I said to myself. "Did I do the piercings?" she asked. "Yes," I told her, about two years ago. (I had a Prince Albert and another small ring in the rim of the glans). Then she wiped it with a disinfectant paying special attention to the tip. Then she wickedly looked me in the eyes and bent down, quickly engulfing the tip of my penis. I was so surprised I fell down. But she didn’t let go. I felt her teeth underneath the rim as she continued to flick her tongue over the top. Finally she released it and said, "When can I have it for my own?" I said, "Whenever you’re ready." Mandy looked at me and said, "Tomorrow night at 10pm. Is that alright?" I assured her that it was fine. It was a Wednesday night, put I had a ton of sick days piled up and I figured I could take some if I needed them. I closed my pants, but not before she squeezed the tip hard with her fingers saying, "You’ll be mine tomorrow." I didn’t ask her how she would remove the tip, I figured she knew what she was doing.

I went home and dreamed about what it would be like to be castrated. When I woke up I expected that the day would be just like any other, but it was the slowest day of my life. The anticipation was killing me. I couldn’t eat lunch. I watched the clock and it seemed like the hands never moved, but finally five o’clock came and I drove home. I made something to eat for supper, but I couldn’t finish it. I finally took a shower and decided to shave off my scrotum and pubic hair. When I was finished I looked as smooth as a baby. It was still only about 7:30 when the phone rang. It was Mandy. She decided to close the shop early and asked if I could come at 8:30. I was so happy I told her I’d be there by 8. I hung up the phone and had trouble getting dressed. What do you wear to your own castration? As I stood naked looking in my chest of drawers, I brushed the tip of my penis and then I wondered what I’d look like without it. I pushed it in and decided that I’d look as if I was uncircumcised, which was fine with me. I finally put on some loose fitting shorts, since it was summer. When I got to her shop it was dark, but she opened it and asked me in. She escorted me to the back office and there I met her sister, a younger twenty something brunette with several tattoos and piercings. She introduced herself as Candy. She said she was excited to be a part of my castration. Both Candy & Mandy were wearing low cut blouses and each of them had tattooed breasts. It was a treat. Mandy finally said to me, "Are you ready?" Yes I said, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Then I presented Mandy with the $2500.00 dollar Bank check. She put it aside and said, "Candy will be filming everything but she’ll try not to film our faces." Then she said, "Alright, let’s take off your shorts and get to work." She slid them down to my ankles and pulled them off. My tee shirt stayed on. She had me sit down on a high back chair that was quite comfortable. "Nice set," Candy blurted out looking at my balls. "They’ll look great in your crystal vase Mandy." "Yes they will! The crystal will actually magnify them. They’ll look twice as big," she replied. Mandy pulled up on my Prince Albert ring and said to her sister, "See, how red ripe it is? It’s ready to be picked," referring to the tip of my penis. "But I’ve got to get this out!" and she quickly removed my Prince Albert ring. Mandy had placed a heating pad on the seat of the chair. She told me she read that if the scrotum was kept warm, the testicles would hang lower, making it easier to castrate. The heating pad was heating things up and Mandy had purposely turned off the air conditioner so the room was hot.

Then Mandy said, "I’m going to massage your sack & balls with some warm water and stretch them out. When I’m satisfied, I’ll put the clamp around them." It felt wonderful to have her massage them, but then she took off her top and I saw her magnificent breasts. Both nipples were pierced with large piercings and the tattoos on her breasts were of Coy fish that wrapped themselves around each breast. As I was admiring her attributes, I felt something cold encircle my balls, then I felt a snap. Mandy kept massaging and stretching for a while after this and I just closed my eyes. She had one ball in each hand and pulled on each one as if she was milking a cow. Then she really got rough and it got a little painful. She saw the pain in my face and said, "Soon the pain will be gone, soon I’ll pick your plums and you’ll be happy."

She stretched them and milked them until I thought they were stretched down to my knees.

I looked at her and her breasts were heaving in motion while she massaged me, she pretended to kiss me and my head fell back in the chair, she was a temptress and I was in her lair. But then I felt the most excruciating pain that I’ve ever felt. Candy had crimped the clamp tightly around my sack & balls. I cried out in pain. Mandy tried to calm me and told me again that it would soon be over. She rubbed something cool on them and the pain started to subside. But then it happened again, another clamp; another crimp, I could hardly breathe. They had clamped off my scrotum twice. The pain was intense and it took some ice and a few minutes before I could breathe and bear the pain. Suddenly I felt pleasure. Looking down I saw nothing but Mandy’s long brown hair and her head was bobbing up & down. I knew I couldn’t stand this for long and in a few minutes I lost all control and flooded her mouth with my come. Mandy came up and looked me in the face. She licked her lips and swallowed. I shivered and quivered, never had a woman ever done that for me. I was in ecstasy. Mandy took my hand and held it. Then she got up close to my face. She ran her fingers up and down my cheek and brushed my hair back with her hand. Then she quietly whispered in my ear, "I’m going to castrate you now. I’m going to cut off your balls. I’m going to take my scrotum & my testicles away from you and you’ll never get them back! Your balls will be displayed for all to see.

I’m going to cut them off slowly and I want you to watch. Promise me you’ll watch?" and she pulled my head back by my hair. I looked at her and told her I would watch. I couldn’t refuse her, I was to excited and titillated by her charm. Then she lifted my balls up and appeared to weigh them in the palm of her hand. Candy reached over and did the same. They smiled at each other, knowing that they were getting a nice set. Then, with a razor sharp serrated paring knife, she began to saw downward through my tightly confined sack. (I didn’t ask why they didn’t use the pruning shears; I really didn’t care). I sat up and watched, not feeling any pain.

Ever so slowly Mandy took the knife and moved it back and forth before the clamps. I thought about what was happening and I said to myself, "You’re being castrated. It was finally happening, just the way you wanted, by a beautiful full-breasted woman. Your balls are being cut away from you, off of you, slowly. Mandy looked up at me and I made a motion with my lips that showed her I wanted to kiss her. She stopped cutting and kindly obliged me with a wet passionate kiss. I was hers and she knew it. She went back to cutting and I encouraged her, nodding my head, giving her permission. At first there was nothing, then slight bleeding. Mandy kept looking up at me and with her eyes, she whispered to me, "I’m castrating you, I’m taking your balls." It was exhilarating & a little painful at the same time. Half way through she said, wickedly looking at her sister, "I’ve cut through his testicle cords, they’re severed, there’s just the skin of his scrotum left. Can you get a close up of them hanging by this last bit of skin? Candy zoomed in and Mandy stretched my balls out, then she hung them over her finger, exposing the deep cut. She held my scrotum and twisted it side to side to show that her castration was almost complete. Candy asked me, "Can you stand up? It’ll look cool to see how they hang just by a little skin." Mandy helped me and I stood up slowly. "Spread your legs. Excellent!" Candy replied. "People who see this will get a real thrill looking at them dangling there by a thread of skin."

Then Mandy said unselfishly to her sister, "Do you want to finish?" Candy looked at me with sincere asking eyes; I smiled and nodded. She gleefully stepped in and took the knife. She placed it underneath the remaining scrotal skin and began to cut upwards. My testicles were draped over the knife. She could have castrated me in one quick motion, but she wanted it to last. "Oh these are heavy testicles," she murmured. "They’re, they’re almost off! One more cut. . .and there! You’re a new eunuch! I’ve castrated him Mandy, I’ve castrated him!" she shouted. Feel how squishy they are Mandy. Feel them! Mandy stooped down and picked them up by the crimped metal band. First she squeezed them and poked at them. Then she jiggled them up & down in front of me. "This is unbelievable," she said! And she jiggled them again and again. "I can’t believe we actually castrated you. You were right, it didn’t take long and there’s hardly any blood!" I looked at them and Mandy said, "Can you feel them? I mean, do you want to feel them?" Before I could answer she put my balls in my hands. I didn’t know what to do with them, but Candy said, "Hold them up by the metal band so I can get a close up." So that’s what I did. Mandy started to remove her shorts and underwear. I wasn’t ready for this. She had a beautifully shaved, pierced, and tattooed pussy. The tattoo was a smaller coy fish and the mouth of the coy was her bright red labia lips. Her clit was pierced with a small ring. It was exceptional and looked delicious. Mandy sat down in a chair next to me and then she took my balls out of my hand. She said to her sister, "I’ve always wanted to do this and I think it’ll be great for the video. Zoom in on my vag." Once Candy had zoomed in, Mandy took my balls and holding them by the metal clamp, she tilted her head back, opened her mouth, and slowly brought them down to her mouth. I thought she’d drop them in, but she kissed them first, and then with her tongue she licked them with a wicked grin. Then she sucked them in to her mouth like grapes, until they disappeared in side her mouth. Candy kept saying, "Oh, that’s great, that’s great! No body has ever shot a video like this." Then she encouraged her sister to feed her cunt. She said, "Hold them over your pussy and jiggle them. Can you say something about how you got them?" Mandy said sure, "I cut these off of this man." Candy whirled the camera back to my castrated crotch and then back to Mandy. "I’m a castrator and I’ll castrate any man who wants me to! These balls, (she jiggled them next to her pussy) are mine and I’m going to preserve them and display them. Do you want to be next!" "Great, great!" Candy replied. Then Mandy took her hand and pulled her labia apart. She rubbed herself until she was wet. Then she shoved my balls, my scrotum, everything into her slit. She pushed them in easily and said to the camera, "There, now there safe & secure!" I was dumbfounded. Candy said, "Excellent! Now pull them out a little, make it look like you’ve got balls. Mandy reached up inside of her and pulled my balls out a little. They were hanging out of her pussy. It looked as if the Coy fish had bitten them off . But Mandy couldn’t hold them in and they fell out onto the chair.

She picked them up, and again tilted her head back and licked and sucked on my balls. I couldn’t feel anything though, I was castrated, I was a eunuch, emasculated by this dreamy & creamy woman & her sister. After all these years of planning, it had finally happened. I closed my eyes and reached down. I still had an erection and then I felt the metal clamp, my balls were gone. Gone! It was an incredible first experience. To feel where your balls once hung and not feel them, it was exhilarating. I was truly castrated and it felt good. As I was feeling around down where my balls once hung, Mandy whispered to me, "Looking for these?" I opened my eyes and she dangled them in front of my face. "Nope," I said. "There no longer mine, there yours. You’ve got balls now," and Mandy giggled. "Yes I do, don’t I." We both laughed. And then we watched as Candy took off her shorts. She grabbed my balls from her sister and said, "Let me feel what it’s like." At that, Candy spread her legs while standing up and exposed her pussy to me. Only it looked different then any pussy I’d ever seen. She had a small slit with little wing like labia and what looked like a tiny penis protruding out. She took my balls and rubbed them back and forth on her penis like clit. She started moaning and with one quick push, forced them inside of her. She had to sit down and Mandy gave her, her chair.

She was in ecstasy, but in a few minutes, without taking my balls out, she stood up and said to me, "I want you to ram them home." I had a semi-erection by this time and when she said that, my penis got rock hard. "Candy mounted me and slid my erect penis into her cunt. She said, "I’ve never had sex with a castrated man! I’ve never had a castrated set of balls up my cunt." Then she stopped talking and started pumping. She was extremely tight, I couldn’t feel my balls, but I felt her squeeze my rod. She pumped & humped me, up and down roughly. She started moaning and I started moaning, I didn’t have any balls and I wondered what would happen when I came. Candy squeezed my rod as hard as it’s ever been squeezed with her love muscles, even though she had strange looking labia and a large clit, she was definitely a woman. Then Candy exploded violently. She whimpered and bit my shoulder. I came a few seconds later and when I went soft, she easily pulled my penis out. But my balls were nowhere to be found, they were still up inside of her. Candy reached in and tried to pull them out, but she couldn’t find them. She stood up and her sister said, "Why don’t you jump up and down and see if they fall out." Candy giggled at this and did just that. If was a great show watching her jump up and down, legs spread, breasts bouncing up & down. Then Candy said, "I can feel them and she reached up and pulled on them. My balls were sticking out a little and it looked as though Candy had balls and a penis. Mandy said, "You look like a man!" But then they fell out with a slight thud onto the ground. Mandy picked them up and said, "Look! The clamp is still holding them in place!" Then she said, "We’ll save these for later, and plopped them into a bowl of ice water." Then she said, "We’re still not finished, I’ve got another trophy to take." At that I remembered my other promise, but I was having second thoughts! After having sex with Candy, I wanted to keep the tip of my penis." I stared at Mandy and begged her, "Please Mandy, can’t I keep it? I’ll service you with it, I’ll even pay you another thousand dollars. I want to keep the tip." But Mandy giggled and said, "I’m sorry, but you signed a contract & remember, your penis will soon shrivel up to nothing. You’ve been castrated and without your balls your penis is useless." "But," "No buts," Mandy yelled back. It’s red, it’s ripe, and I’m going to pick it!" I started to get up, I was going to run out the door, but Mandy was prepared. Candy said, "Sit back down or I’ll blow a hole in you." She was holding a gun to my head. So I sat down. Then Mandy said, "Now that’s a good boy. It’ll be over soon and you won’t miss it, you’ll see..

Then Mandy picked up my limp penis and washed it off with some antibacterial solution. She picked up a scalpel and looking at me she said, "I’m going to be nice and cut a hole for you to pee." With that she cut a small slit on the underside of my penis, halfway up, but below the tip. Then she worked in a plastic tube of some kind, forcing a great length into my bladder. Mandy knew what she was doing. "She finally said, "There, you’ve been catheterized, castrated, and now you’ll be cauterized." She put a clamp underneath the rim of my glans and without warning she took the castration tool and crimped it tight on my tip. I was in agony, but then there was another clamp, another crimp and my penis was now compressed like never before. The pain was excruciating and I yelled and cried. But Mandy rubbed it with ice all the while calming me down and comforting me. Again she got up into my face and whispered in my ear, this time saying that she was going to cut off her glans, her penis tart. She said it was hers now and she wanted it. And with that she took a small white cutting board and held my doubly clamped penis down on it. She took a small scalpel and slowly started to cut. She ordered me to watch and Candy forced my head down so I could see it.

Mandy smiled and began to sing a song about picking cherries all the while she very slowly moved the scalpel back and forth between the clamps. I couldn’t feel much now, but I watched intensely as Mandy cut deeper and deeper through my penis. Finally she removed the cutting board and ordered me to stand up. She took the gun from Candy and asked her to zoom in on my penis. I had a semi-erection and when I stood up, the tip of my penis fell off and dangled by a small piece of skin. Candy said, "Oh that’s great, great!" Swing it back and forth, and that’s what Mandy did. Then she gave the gun back to Candy, bent down in front of me and took my penis, or the cut tip of it into her mouth. She bit down hard and then she stood up. The tip of my penis was gone, it was in her mouth and to prove it, she stuck it out through her lips. It was a wild sight. To see the tip of your penis in someone else’s mouth, I can’t explain the sensation. Finally she took it from her mouth and held it in front of her, examining it. She placed it on white plate and brought it up close for me to see.  The clamp had forced blood into it and it was enlarged and smooth. Mandy asked me if I wanted to touch it or kiss, I said no, so she kissed seductively, watching me as she did, while it was stil on the plate.  Then she picked it up and gave it to her sister.

Candy gave the gun back to Mandy and sat down. She took my penis tip and holding it by the clip, rubbed it over her clit. She said to her sister, "It’s bigger then mine, but it makes mine feel good." Then she stuck it in her pussy and pushed it in and out. That feels really good Mandy.
It’s like a little Popsicle!" "Let me feel," Mandy said. She took my penis tip and did the same thing, saying, "Yeah, it’s cool, and satisfying, but you want more." They both giggled and finally Mandy took some type of clip, fastened it to the metal clamp, and passed a chain through the holes. She put it around her neck and wore the tip of my penis, her penis tip around her neck. It sat between her breasts and Candy zoomed in. "Tomorrow I’ll encase it in liquid crystal. If you want to see how it’s done, come over around noon. I’ll put your balls in a crystal vase filled with formaldehyde and I’m going to display them on my desk. Please let me know if you have any friends that want the same thing done to them. I have had one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Thank you! And with that I was told to dress and they helped me to my car. It was 4am, I was exhausted, feeling weird, and I drove home and went to sleep. I woke up several times in pain, I tried to pee, but the plastic hose made it tough. I got in a tub of hot water and finally examined my wounds. My balls were gone, I was really castrated, the tip of my penis was gone and all that was left was a metal clamp. I knew it would fall off eventually and I wondered how I’d look.

The next day I was feeling terrible, but I wanted to watch as Mandy encased my penis tip in plastic.  She was glad to see me and when I came in she took me into the back room where she had castrated me.  She said, "Go ahead and sit down, I'll be right back."  She left and I looked at the table with molds and jewelry parts.  Mandy returned quickly and she was holding a bowl of ice water.  She took her hand and reached in, pulling out the tip of my penis.  "Remember this," she asked?  Then she kissed it and said, "Oh, that's cold!  It's my penis pop!"  I can't explain the feeling of looking at the tip of your own penis.  But then Mandy filled up a mold with some clear liquid, and said to me, "I'm going to push my penis tip so that it's preserved forever!"  With careful attention she pushed it into the liquid goo, held it up by the clamp for a few seconds, and then released it.  "There," she said.  After a few hours I can cut the metal clamp off and fill in the back, so it's completely encased it crystal.  Now I forgot to complete our contract, so please take off your shorts.  I asked why, and she just said, "Take them off."  So I did.  Then she said, "I'm glad you shaved off your pubic hair, it'll save time.  She reached over for her tattooing needle and told me to lean back and hold on.  So that's what I did.  She started to tattoo my pubic hair, being curious I asked her what she decided to write, since she wasn't sure yesterday.  She smiled and said, "Castrated & Clipped by Mandy, in bold red letters."  Finally she said, "Finished!"  She said take a look.  The letters were large and clear.  I want who ever sees you naked to know that a woman named Mandy castrated you.  She put a dressing on me and said, "Come back in a few days and I'll show you my necklace."

A few days later I dropped in unexpectantly.  There were three women in there late twenties or early thirties looking through Mandy's piercing books.  Mandy came out and she was wearing a rather large necklace with a strange crystal like object attached to it. She greeted me and said out loud, "Take a look at my penis tip! Sure enough she was wearing my penis tip on her neck. It stood out and was obvious to everyone that it was the tip of a penis. The three women turned around and giggled after hear her.  Mandy said, "Look!"  And the three women took a good look at it.  One of them said, "Where'd you get it?"  Mandy, not mincing words said, "From him!"  "No way!" another of the three replied. Mandy said, "Follow me," and she took me by the hand and led all of us to the back room.  Before I could object, she slid my shorts down exposing my clipped penis and castrated balls and sack.  The women gasped and their eyes got wide.  They said, "How'd you get him to give you his balls and penis?"  Mandy said, "He paid me to take them!"  Wow another woman said, "How can I get a man to do that for me?"  I'm not sure said Mandy, but I've found a place on the internet where men are actually looking for women to castrate them.  I'll show you."  All the ladies except one followed Mandy over to her computer.  I stood there about to pull up my shorts when this woman asked me if she could touch where I was castrated.  I said, "Sure."  Her touch was soft and pleasurable.  Finally she said, "How much do you want for the rest of your penis?  I'd love to have it for my own, would you give it to me?"  I was stunned and I said, "Let me think about it.  "Alright," she replied.  Here's my business card.  I'll make it worth your while!"  I smiled and then quietly left.  Was I ready to not have any penis at all?  Hmmm.