Matthew knocked.

‘Lukas. I used it.’

There was no answer.

Matthew crouched down and looked through the keyhole. He could see Lukas on the bed, turned the other way, naked, like he had left him, though he couldn’t get a very good view, because the key was still in the lock.

He cupped his hands around his mouth.

‘Lukas. Can you open the door?’

It looked like he was asleep. He didn’t move.

Matthew went into Lukas’ study and found a piece of paper, and then he went into the kitchen, where he found the cake tester in the second draw, the one he had only ever seen in Lukas’ memory, as something that Lukas had put into the eye of his cock. It had a little handle on the end of it.

Matthew put the piece of paper under Lukas’ door, directly underneath the keyhole, and then he worked at pushing the key out of the lock with the cake tester. He had to be careful. If he pushed too hard, it would fall too far. It would miss the paper.

By the time he had got the key out, and had heard it clank onto the floor, Matthew’s cock was soft for the first time that day. He felt it like a relief, and bent down to look under the door, having to get right down on his stomach and look under the crack.

Man, that felt so good, to have a soft cock for a change, he thought, as he felt his cock brushing on the floor.

He turned his head.

The key was on the paper.

Not properly on it.

It was hanging off a bit.

Matthew eased it out gently. The key slid off the paper when it was almost under the door. He found the cake tester, and managed to hook it with that, and then he stood up, and unlocked the door.

Lukas turned over.

‘I thought you were asleep.’

Lukas looked at him with wide eyes.

‘Are you alright?’

Lukas didn’t answer.

Matthew came over and sat beside him on the bed.

‘Look at that,’ he said. ‘I got my cock to go down.’

He moved his thighs around, so Lukas could see it, held between them.

Lukas swallowed.

‘I used the enema.’

‘I’m going to let you do it.’

‘What?’

‘I said to myself, lying here, that if you got the door open, I’d let you do it. I could have called the police and–’

‘The police?’

‘I thought about it, but I just said “Okay, you really want to do it, you can do it. Get the door open and you can do it”.’

‘You’ll like it, Luke.’

‘I think you’re insane. Do you understand that? I think you’re completely and totally fucking insane. I’m not going to like it. I don’t like being castrated, and I’m not going to like not having a dick, but if you want to do it, you can do it. I can’t stop you having anything you want.’

Matthew nodded.

‘You’re not going to change your mind?’ Lukas said.

Matthew shook his head slowly, transfixed by Lukas’ eyes.

‘Well these are the conditions. You’re coming to England with me next year, and you’re–’

‘England?’

‘Yes.’ He paused. ‘And you’re going to stay there all year, right up until after Christmas, until the new year.’

‘I can’t, Luke.’

‘You can.’

‘I’m going to the conservatorium.’

‘If you want to.’

Matthew thought for a moment. ‘But where would we live?’

‘My father’s bought a house for me. In Holland Park.’

‘Is that good?’

‘Does it matter?’

Matthew shrugged.

‘You’re going to live with me there, and you’re going to be with me. You’re going to be my lover, and we’re going to go out together like lovers. You’re going to hold my hand and take me places, and we’re going to eat in restaurants together.’

‘Are you going to have any servants?’

‘What?’

‘Are you going to have any servants?’

‘Just one.’

‘Not McCady?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘I’m not living in a house with her.’

‘It’ll be someone else. Someone from over there.’

Matthew nodded.

‘And you’re not doing anything else to me. Do you understand that? You’re going to promise me, you’re not doing anything else to me.’

Matthew said nothing.

‘You’re not going to cut my nipples off. You’re not going to start cutting my fingers or my toes off. You’re not going to cut my ears off. You’re not going to cut my arsehole. You’re not going to brand me, or burn me. You’re not going to amputate my legs, or cut off my arms.’

‘Why would I want to, Luke?’

‘Look at me and tell me you don’t want to cut my nipples off.’

Matthew looked at Lukas’ nipples. He hadn’t ever thought about it. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped.

‘You don’t even understand what you’re doing, do you?’

Matthew stared at him.

‘You want to wreck me. You want to make me nothing. You hate me.’

‘I don’t hate you.’

‘You do. You just don’t know it.’

Matthew swallowed. Maybe he…

‘We don’t have to do it, Luke. I mean, if you really don’t want to, we don’t have to.’

‘Do you mean that?’

Matthew nodded.

Lukas started crying. He turned over, and wrapped his head in his arms.

Matthew got onto the bed and held Lukas from behind, feeling his cock soft in Lukas’ crack. He hadn’t ever felt it like that before, and it felt good.

‘I don’t hate you, Luke,’ he said.

Lukas was crying.

‘I really don’t.’

He let seconds go by.

‘I wouldn’t want to do those things to you.’ But he knew, as he was saying it, that he did want to do them. He wanted to fuck Lukas up. He wanted to ruin him, totally, and forever. He wanted to cut Lukas’ nipples off. He wanted to cut his face. He wanted to slash it. He wanted to burn him. He wanted to douse him with petrol and set fire to him. He wanted to cut his body. He wanted to slash it. He wanted to break Lukas’ arms, and break his legs. He wanted to break every bone in Lukas’ body, and brand him, and cut him, and punch him, and smash his fingers with a mallet. He wanted to cut his tongue out, and cut his ears off, and blind him. He wanted to gouge his eyes out. He wanted to break his spine and splash him with acid and skewer him with needles. He wanted to cut his arse open and fuck him, and fuck him while he was bleeding and blind and deaf and dumb and legless and armless and in pain, because he knew, in some way, that no matter what he did to Lukas, Lukas would still be beautiful. That was something that would have to be ripped out of him, somehow, if he was ever going to destroy it.

Matthew started crying.

He felt his cock grow hard in Lukas’ arse, and felt how close he was to getting Lukas to agree. He could do his cock. He could stop there. That would be enough. He wouldn’t do anything else. That would fuck Lukas up. What could be worse than that?

He moved his mouth to Lukas’ ear.

‘I really will like you better, Luke, if you let me do it. And I won’t do anything else to you. I promise.’

There was silence.

‘I’ll come to England with you next year, and I’ll be your boyfriend, like you said.’

Silence, again.

‘I promise.’

Matthew reached his hand down and held Lukas’ cock.

‘It’s such a small penis,’ he said, in a funny voice. ‘Such a wittle thing.’

He started to tug on it gently. It was hard. Lukas had been hard since he had taken the tablets.

‘Do you want to fuck me now?’

Still, silence.

‘Come on, Lukas. You said I could.’

Again, silence.

‘Come on.’

Lukas moved suddenly.

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Lie on your back.’

‘What?’

‘Lie on your back and open your legs.’

‘What? You can’t do it like that.’

‘Yes you can. It’s my choice. It’s the only fuck I’m ever going to get. Lie on your back, you fucking prick.’

Matthew turned over.

‘Put your legs up. Put your fucking knees up near your chest.’

Lukas leant forward and put his hands on Matthew’s knees. He moved his body up and poked the head of his cock against Matthew’s hole.

Matthew giggled.

Lukas pushed forward, and pushed down on Matthew’s knees. Lukas’ cock slid into his arse, and Matthew knew he had made a stupid face, a surprised face. Lukas was trying not to smile.

‘Oh, you don’t like that, do you? It doesn’t feel good to have some guy’s cock up your arse, does it?’

Lukas started to pump and Matthew tried to keep his face straight, but it did feel good.

‘I might just fuck you ten times in one go, like you do to me. How would you like that?’

Lukas angled his cock up and pushed it in in a strange way.

‘Wait. Wait,’ Matthew said, putting his hands up on Lukas’ chest. He didn’t know what was happening. ‘Pull it out.’

And then he realised all at once what it was. He was blowing a load. He opened his mouth and closed his eyes, feeling the come pump out of his cock, but Lukas had started again. Matthew wanted him to stop. He put his hands on Lukas’ chest and tried to stop him.

‘Put your hands down.’

‘Can you just stop a minute?’

‘Put your fucking hands down.’

Matthew did what he said, and in a moment he felt it again.

‘Oh, wait. Don’t Lukas. Don’t. Just stop a minute.’

‘Put your hands down.’

Matthew’s body went rigid and he came again.

‘What? You haven’t come again?’ Lukas said, bearing all his weight down on Matthew’s knees and opening his legs wider. It was a long time since Matthew had done the splits, but he was doing them now. Almost. The inside of his groin hurt. The tendons were stretched, and his arse was feeling all sloppy.

He tried to clench his muscles, tried to stop Lukas thrusting, but it hurt.

‘Oh, that’s nice,’ Lukas said. ‘Do that again. Clench up for me, Sir.’

Matthew came again. He put his hands up, put them around Lukas’ head and tried to draw Lukas towards him. He pulled Lukas down and put his head beside his.

Lukas kept pumping.

‘Can you stop a minute?’

Lukas thrust forward hard, and twisted his cock up, and Matthew came again. He found Lukas’ lips, pulled Lukas’ head onto his lips and kissed him hard.

Lukas pulled away.

He reared his body up, angling it away from Matthew’s, and then he stopped, with his cock thrust deep into Matthew’s. His body shuddered, and he was coming, Matthew knew. He had his eyes closed. His mouth open.

He fell forward onto Matthew’s chest, and wrapped his arms around him.

Matthew brushed the back of his hair.

‘Can you pull it out now?’

‘Just leave it there. Just stay like this for a moment.’

‘How long?’

Lukas didn’t answer, and Matthew tried to relax.

What the fuck was that? he wondered. He hadn’t ever felt anything like that before. He hadn’t expected it to feel good. Not like that.

After five minutes or so, Lukas pulled away from him. He rolled over on the bed, his back to Matthew.

Lukas’ phone started ringing. He ignored it for a moment, and then he reached for it.

‘No. We’re going to go out and get something.’

It was McCady, obviously, asking about lunch.

Matthew got up. He figured he needed to go to the toilet. He didn’t feel right. As he walked down the hallway, it was all sort of loose and sloppy in his arse. He sat down on the toilet, but there was nothing there. A dribble of something came out.

He frowned.

And wiped his arse.

Lukas had fucked him.

There was no way that should have happened.

‘Are you ready then?’ Matthew said, when he came back into Lukas’ room. He had gone into his own room first, and got changed.

‘Yeah,’ Lukas said, jumping off his bed with a false enthusiasm. ‘I’m all ready, Matty. Let’s go cut my cock off. That’ll be fun, won’t it?’

‘Can you take these?’

‘What are they?’

He had already given Lukas three, and he supposed another two couldn’t hurt.

‘They’re Sudafed.’

‘Oh, sure. I’ll take ‘em for you, Matt. Do you want to dope me up on anything else?’

‘You could probably take some more Capanol. Maybe half a one. It doesn’t seem to be affecting you like it did the other day.’

‘Maybe that’s because I didn’t swallow it, Matty. Mmm. You know, I maybe should take a whole one, seeing as how you’re going to cut my cock off and everything, not that there’s anything wrong with that.’

‘Lukas.’

‘What?’

‘Can you stop it?’

‘I think I can. I think I’ll just do whatever you tell me. Why don’t I do that, Matt?’

Matthew walked down the hall to Lukas’ bathroom, breathing a sigh as he left Lukas’ room. He found the Capanol that he thought Lukas had taken on the floor and he put it in the bin. He got another one out, and then thought that maybe one a half would be better. He broke one in half, and carried them up to Lukas with a glass of water.

‘Are you going to take them?’

‘Sure. Why not?’

Lukas put them in his mouth and threw his head back, swallowing.

‘Can you open your mouth, so I can see?’

Lukas opened his mouth wide, like he was a little child who had to show it.

He sat down on his bed.

‘You’re really going to do this, aren’t you?’

‘That’s what we agreed.’

Lukas nodded. ‘Okay. Cut my cock off. I’ll still love you. I don’t care. Do whatever you want to me.’

Matthew nodded.

‘Don’t think I won’t be taking you to the police if you break the deal, because I will.’

‘Can you get changed?’

‘Why?’

‘We need to go downstairs.’

‘Oh, fuck, Matt, can you please not? Really, can you please not do this to me?’

‘You fucked me.’

Lukas swallowed. ‘You said I could.’

‘Do you think I liked it?’

‘It looked like it.’

Matthew hit him.

‘Ow! Fuck!’ Lukas said, holding the side of his face.

‘Put some clothes on.’

Lukas didn’t move.

Matthew found a pair of jeans and threaded Lukas’ feet into them. He didn’t need jocks. He found the T-shirt Lukas had been wearing, the white one that had come all over it, and he pulled that over Lukas’ head.

‘Matty?’

‘What?’

‘I really love you. Can you please not do this to me?’

‘Here,’ Matthew said. He had Lukas’ sandals. He was handing them to Lukas.

Lukas took them, but he didn’t move.

‘You can’t really do this to me.’

Matthew snatched the sandals out of his hand and squatted down in front of him. He pulled Lukas’ feet into them, and did up the straps.

All the stuff from the other day, all the stuff he needed, was down in the workroom.

All he had to do now was to get Lukas down there.

‘You think you can walk downstairs?’

Lukas shook his head.

Instantly, he was the little boy again. Doing his little boy act.

Lukas put his thumb in his mouth. He curled up on the bed, sideways, and looked up at Matthew with big eyes.

Matthew sighed.