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After a night spent watching an old horror film on late night TV about Head Hunters of all things I awoke late. It was already 9:30 in the morning. The golden ray of the sun were steaming into the upstairs bedroom. Next to me Josh was curled up still asleep. Under the covers both Josh and I were naked, a thought that excited me very much. I took a moment to study Josh. He was so beautiful. It was like a young blond angel had fallen from heaven and was now sleeping peacefully beside me. How could I be any lucker? I wondered what Josh was dreaming about. I hoped he was dreaming about me just as I had been dreaming about him. I felt that I could lie there for hours just looking at Josh and thinking about how much I loved him. Soon he started to awake. He opened his beautiful blue eyes and looked up at me. I smiled and he returned my smile. "Get on your tummy," he said. "I'm going to mount you." "No wait," I said. "Wait? What are we waiting for?" he asked. "I have something I need to say." "Okay say it." It was difficult. I was afraid the words might come out wrong and this was much too important to screw up. There was only one chance to say it for the first time. But these were words that I had to speak, "Josh I want you to know that I love you." There, I had said it and I thought it had come out pretty well if I do say so myself. Josh was quite for a moment and then he said, "Okay, you can roll over on your tummy now." "But Josh don't you want to say that you love me too?" I asked. "Kelly what is wrong with you?" he replied. "First you act like a boy even though you are not a boy and now you are acting like a girl which is even worse. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to give you a single red rose with a small box of chocolates and read you some corny love poem I wrote just for you? Do I really need to do all that just to hump you?" I blushed and felt very embarrssed but I pushed those feeling aside. I had to tell him what I was feeling. "Josh I want the flowers and the candy and the poem but not because we make love. I want those things because you love me and want to make me happy." "Kelly get real!" he said. "I am real Josh. I'm very real and so are my feelings." "I don't need this," he responded. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt Josh back. I wanted to make him jealous. I said, "Josh you should know that I have a friend back home and he loves me very much. In fact he is much more than just a friend. His name is Dominic, he is 13, and he treats me well." "You have a boyfriend?" Josh asked. "No he's not a boy," I answered. "He is a Nullo like me but he loves me and treats me the way a boyfriend should." "Do the two of you? Well what I mean is do the two of you sleep together?" Josh asked. I could see that I had Josh's attention. He was jealous! That gave me a tremendous sense of satisfaction. "Yes we do!" I replied with pride. "But how?" Josh asked. "I mean since you've been fixed and he doesn't have one either what can the two of you do?" "We do plenty!" I shot back. "We do the things that really matter. We hold each other tenderly. We tell each other how much we love each other. And we kiss! We kiss all over and everywhere! Every part of our bodies!" I added for good mesure. "Really?" Josh asked. "I don't believe you. You're making it up." "It's true!" I said. I could see that Josh was now very jealous. My plan had worked. He'd be nicer to me now that he knew I had someone besides him. "Can I watch? Josh asked. "I mean when I come to visit can I watch the two of you go at it in bed?" "What?" I was stunned by his question. Shocked and blown away. "Why would you want to watch?" I asked. "Are you kidding? he asked. "I've never seen two young Nullos do it before. It would be interesting. I'd love to write about it and then post it on the internet." I jumped out of bed. I had to get away from Josh. I had to get away from the monster I thought I loved. But once out of bed I realized to my horror and shame that I was naked. My empty crotch was exposed to Josh's view. Sure he had seen it before but things were different between us now. I couldn't stand to let him see me. I couldn't stand to let anyone see that I was a Nullo. Quick as I could I pulled on my shorts (I didn't need underwear) and my T-shirt and I ran from the house. The day was warm so that was all the clothing I needed. I needed to be alone, but I also needed a friend. I needed to have some time away from Josh. I saw some boys on the way to the beach and I wondered if any of them were like me. Not a chance! I was a freak. I went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and spent some time looking around in the magic shop. The shop sold fake hands and fake feet made out of rubber and stuff like that to scare people on Halloween. The stuff looked pretty cheep just like the vampire masks and fake fanges. I wished the magic shop sold fake boy genitals but ones that looked real not fake and could be attached between the legs of a Nullo. If they sold that I would buy some and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone noticing my empty crotch. I could wear what ever sort of swim suit I wanted, or even go naked and no one would know that I was fixed. Everyone would think I was a boy just like any other boy. If the store sold stick on genitals I would pay any amount of money for them. Of course it would be really embarrassing to buy them. What would the shop keeper think? Probably something like, Humm genitals for a young white kid, cir'ed penis and plump ball sacks. The kid buying this is clearly a Nullo trying to fool people into thinking he is a boy. It would be hard to buy them but it would be worth it! "Kelly?' I heard someone say. I must have jumped about a foot I was so startaled. I turned to see who it was. It was Craig, the 12 year old boy who wanted to be a Nullo. "What's wrong?" Craig asked. "You look so sad." "Josh is a dick," I said. "Tell me something I don't already know," Craig said. "Where is Josh now?" "I don't know. Back home I guess." "Just as well," Craig replied. "Josh is the only kid I know who could give Attila the Hun mean lessons," We both laughed at that. Laughter never felt so good and the fact that it was at Josh's expence made it feel all the better." "I was going out to get something to eat," Craig said. "Want to join me?" "Sure," I replied realizing that I was suddenly very hungry. I also realized that being around Craig made me feel good. We left the magic shop and headed for a pizza place. Along the way I noticed a group of 6 boys ages ten to about twelve. "See them?" I asked Craig. "The boys?" Craig replied. "Sure I see them. What about it?" "I was just thinking about boys," I said. "And wondering why they act the way they do. If those boys knew that I have nothing between my legs what do you think they'd do? They'd laugh at me that's what. They'd laugh at me and make fun of me because I've been fixed and they have not. But they hide their own genitals from everyone but the doctor and their closest friends. Why do they hide their boyhood? They have nothing to be ashamed of. Big or small, cir'ed or uncut they are whole boys and so they have nothing to be ashamed of. "Those boys you see there sure look happy don't they," Craig observed. "It's like they don't have a care in the world. Maybe they would laugh at you if they knew. But they know that in a few years their lives will be run by their dicks. It will get to the point were all they can think about is sex and getting laid. Some will most likely go off the deep end when jilted by their girlfriends. Others will get their girlfriends pregnant and spend the next 18 years working to pay child support. Kelly so what if you've been fixed. Everything comes with a price. If you had a dick you might be like Josh. Would you want that?" "No," I replied. "Josh laughed at me," I said struggling to hold back the tears. "He laughed at me because I'm a Nullo and I thought I loved him." I didn't want to tell Craig what Josh had been doing to me. But maybe Craig could guess. "Josh is such a dick and all because he has a dick," Craig said. "But he wasn't always the way he is now. He used to be nice." "I know. I spent time with him three years ago when he was 9 and he was really great then. I wish he could be that way still," I said. "He could be," Craig said. "How?" I asked. "Have him nullified and he'll see things differently. He won't like it at first but he'll get over it and then he'll be a nice kid again." "Josh would never agree to it," I responded. "He doesn't have to," Craig said. "After all you didn't want it either. It was your dad who ordered you castrated but you soon forgave him and you love him now." "But Josh wouldn't come to the country with us if he knew we were going to have him fixed," I said. "Don't tell him," Craig said. "Let him think he's comming out just to see me get castrated and to get his horny little dick into some nice soft, virgin, Nullo butt. By the time he learns what we have in mind for him it will be too late. He won't be able to get away. His mom wants him fixed. She is sure to go along with it." The plan was sneaky and underhanded but I liked it. In fact I loved it! [TO BE CONTINUED] Dear Readers I'd like to thank each and everyone of you who has e-mailed me. I enjoy reading all your comments both good and bad. I also enjoy the suggestions. As you may have noticed I am making this story up as I go along. Please keep the responces comming. Timothy |