Done 07-16-06

This is a little background information on me. I would love to be a very feminine boy. I would like to be mistaken for a girl sometimes. I love to wear girls’ panties and I have both my ears pierced. My boyfriend goes along with what I like, after all we have been together for 9 years. Together we have an open relation ship and it works for us. From the early years of my childhood I have always been fascinated with putting rubber bands around my penis or tying my balls with a shoe lace anything to cause a little pain. I started trying to put stuff down the shaft of my penis at about 11years old. At fourteen I cut my piss slit open with a pair of scissors so that I could get bigger stuff down the opening. This was my first body modification. From this point on my fascination grew to castration. I bought a bander from a local farm supply store and started banding my balls for an hour at a time. This gave me such a rush knowing that I was trying to castrate myself. I never could go more then an hour it hurt too much. I have seen on BME where this guy banded his dick four 13 hours and it shrank from 7 inches down to 4 inches. This gave me the idea of shrinking my dick. I would love to have a 2-inch penis when hard. I have looked at other pictures on BME and love the guys that are castrated. I feel this would be cool because I wouldn’t have male hormones running though my body anymore. I would loose some of my body hair, and I wouldn’t have my balls hanging out the sides of my panties. After much research on many different sites I started to play around with trying to castrate myself for real. This is my experience from the begaining.

Like I said before my first devise that I bought was a bander. I purchased this from a farm supplier. I would band my balls for about an hour all the time keeping ice on them. Once I cum from playing with myself I would cut the band off. This hurt bad and once the ice wore off they would ache bad. I read many stories on BME and found that banding was bad. It could lead to blood clots. I found that using a burdizzo was the safest way and even the doctors’ say there is less trauma then cutting into the sack and removing the balls.

I ordered a burdizzo from Ebay and wanted to castrate myself before I graduated college from UNLV. I used to work out in the gym at college. I would shower and change in front of all the boys. I would fantasize about being a Eunuch and having a tattoo across my lower back that said this. I understand that I would probably have very few hard-ons after being castrated. I would just have to service the boys and be willing to bend over like a true Eunuch should. I found that trying to clamp the burdizzo on my ball cord was very painful. I did more research and decided that I would try alcohol injections. I went back to BME and ordered some needles.

I started by playing with just injecting my right ball with a grain alcohol. I read on BME that this would shrink your ball. This worked on the ball that I tried it on. I injected my right ball with three cc’s of alcohol. I did this every month for three months. The right ball shrunk to half the size of the left nut. A short time after injecting the grain alcohol in the nut it felt like some one kicked you in that nut. I still could not use the burdizzo it was too painful. I ordered a bottle of xylocaine from BME and found that I could inject the ball and then smash them and do some very wild torture to them. I also found out that they hurt like hell after the local is gone.

I love to wear girl’s panties and love the look of being nice and smooth in the front. I still wear men’s underwear sometimes but I have a fantasy that my boyfriend makes me wear just girls’ underwear. I fantasy that my boyfriend and I are in a store looking at underwear and he says to me what are you doing in the boys section, get over to the girls section and pick you out some lacy panties. I even wear my panties in the boys’ locker room. Even the thongs, these are not the lacy kind, and the boys don’t know the difference. I do paint my toenails pastel colors and hope the boys notice this. No one has ever said anything to me.

It was Wednesday when I banded my dick for one hour and twenty minutes and cut the band off. I wanted to shrink my dick as small as possible. My penis seems to be getting smaller ever time I band it. It is now Sunday four days later and I can get hard but I don’t have enough feeling in my penis to cum and I have tried. My boyfriend left me alone so he could go have some fun with a friend of his. I was alone and feeling horny but I new I couldn’t cum, so I thought about using my burdizzo at last. I had read stories about how some numb the sac and then use the burdizzo and I felt this was the way to go. I was going to use the local that I had bought from BME to numb my balls and sack.

I started finding some very good pictures on the internet of really hot naked boys. While looking at these pictures I kept thinking that I would no longer be a boy. I should be willing to service all boys and learn to swallow their cum. I chose to start with the left nut because it was huge. The right was half the size from injecting it with grain alcohol. I started by injecting three CCs of local into the left nut to numb it. I pushed the needle though my ball sack it stung a little but was not to bad. I then felt for the ball and tried to push the needle into it. It was very difficult at first and then I felt it give way and push into the middle of the nut. I then thought this is it I am on my way to becoming a Eunuch. I was on such a high thinking no more being a boy and have nuts. I looked at the pictures on my computer of the naked guys knowing that I will from now on have to service them. I pushed the plunger of the needle down slowly so I could feel the nut expand and get really hard with the three CCs of the local. With the left ball injected I waited for it to take effect. I tried to put the burdizzo on the cord to the left ball after a few moments. I still felt too much pain in the sack to close the jaws and take my left ball. I came up with the idea of injecting my sack with the local. With one CCs in three different places on the side of the sac. I put the burdizzo in place to clamp my left nut and pressed down on it but it still hurt badly. The reason for this was because it was pinching the other side of my sac. I then took it back off and numbed the right side with a local and in the middle of the sac.

I brought up some pictures of guys on the internet and thought how cool it would be to be nut less After a few minutes I put the burdizzo back over the left nut and started to close the clamp, all the time thinking how nice it will be not to have my left nut. The burdizzo closed very easy it was so cool to hear the pop of the cord under the jaws and the snap that the burddizo made when closing shut. I could not believe that I had finally did it I counted to one hundred and took it off, but before I did I felt for the cord and I thought the cord got squeezed out the side so I repositioned the burdizzo and shut it again. I did this twice and didn’t really feel anything. I loved the sound of the burdizzo clamping shut. I knew that I was on my way to becoming more of a girly boy. I felt that I couldn’t wait to show off my nut-less package in the showers at college.

All the pictures on BME show the burdizzo being used horizontally on the cord of the nut. I had closed the burdizzo vertical on my nut instead of horizontal. I felt this would isolate the nut better and would have a better chance of killing the nut. After the second time I could not feel anything and was bleeding badly from the cuts into the sack. I knew that I got the cord this time. I then cleaned my self up and used super glue to close my cuts, which were so big that I could see into my sac. I then started thinking that really it was only once that that I had clamped myself. I did not want this ball to survive so after everything was closed up and cleaned up. I felt for the cord and used the burdizzo horizontally for a third time. It was easy; I loved the crunch sound that the cord made and the sound of the burdizzo snapping shut. I still did not feel anything, so I left the clamp in place and took pictures of it shut on my cord. I left it on for a few minutes after the pictures and then took it off and it didn’t bleed hardly at all. I still couldn’t believe that I had only one nut now. I was on such a high from this clamping, and loved the fact that I was looking at pictures of males and saying to myself that I will no longer be one of them. I was going to have to service the guys from now on.

I was so happy I thought I should do the other nut and be done with it, but I had some bad cuts and did not want anymore to deal with. I cleaned my self up and the burdizzo and put everything away. I then poured my self a bath and sat in the tub to clean myself up good. I knew that I would have to go to college the next day so I went out and bought some tampons so if I bleed it will not show though my underwear. Even sitting here typing this I cant believe that I only have one nut now. It has been three hours and I still do not have any pain at all. After I heal I will do the other nut and be the nut-less boy that I have always wanted to be. Even into the evening I never really experienced pain from the clamping. My nut swelled up huge but never hurt at all. I guess that my dream will come true of being nut-less before I leave college.

This is an update on my story. It has been about a year since I clamped my left ball. I had a lot of trouble with the bleeding and the open wounds on my sack. I had to take baths and clean the wounds up. I would use super glue to close the cuts. I kept having to stuff tampons into my underwear because the wounds would break open from time to time. I had no feeling in that ball and knew that it was dead. I don’t know if I experienced hot flashes because I would just start sweating bad. This could have been due in part to me living in Las Vegas. I didn’t know if my other ball still worked after the injections of alcohol or not. It took about six months before everything was looking good. My boyfriend was not too happy with how I did this. It was a lot of trauma to my ball sack. My boyfriend also didn’t like the look of having one ball and doesn’t really want to play around anymore. I seamed to have gained a few pounds and am not happy about this. I did have my hormone level checked before I left college. I just went to the college doctor’s office, I told them that I wanted this done and they wanted to know why? I said that I wanted to start taking girl hormones and wanted to know my levels now. I told them that I was working with a doctor in town and before I started anything I wanted to know where I sat. They did the test for me. Because I graduated in December of 2006 I never got retested for my hormone levels. When I castrated my left ball I only had about six months left in college. I never got to show off in the showers at school before I graduated from UNLV. I started working right before leaving school, so work was my focus for the past year. I still have the right ball. My left ball has shrunk up to a small flat shape. I can squeeze it as hard as I want and it doesn’t hurt. I do this all the time while I jack off. My boyfriend and I have talked about this and he is just upset with how it was done and the trauma that I went through. We still love each other and always will but I mostly service him now. I still play with myself a lot. So my other ball must be working. I need to be more set in my job before I think about doing the other nut. I want health insurance to take care of hormones if I need them. I would love to try girl hormones for some time and see if I like the changes. I would love to have small boobs. I want them small so I could still hide them. It is important to me to still look like a guy if I want. I do love to change in the boys’ locker room. I just want to be more famine. I guess I better get use to servicing all the guys and not to expect anything in return. It is a turn off to many guys that I only have one nut or that I will be castrated. My hardons will be few and far between after I am completely done. I still want my dick to shrink to a very small size like two inches hard. This will make me feel less like a boy. Then in the showers with the other boys they will notice no balls and a very small penis making me more or less a girl. I want boys to show me their balls and cock and say see this, I am a boy you are a girl now so get down on your knees and suck my cock. Then they can turn me around and fuck me bare back.