From a very young age, Bill was curious about his body and bodily functions. In fact, he majored in Biology in college to learn as much as he could about how all of the biological systems of a living organism function. The largest real animal he was able to dissect and study in any real detail was a frog during high school biology. Bill had seen films of other animal dissections and had read well-illustrated books on organ systems of various animals, so he was generally familiar with the digestive system, circulatory system, respiratory system, and nervous system. It was the reproductive system that stimulated his curiosity the most. Bill had always wanted to know what his testicles would look like outside of their enclosing scrotum, but the fear of pain similar to that experienced when he had been hit in the testicles while playing baseball was enough to dampen his curiosity.

At this point let me digress. Bill is 67 years old and his wife is no longer having sex with him due to a complete hysterectomy with ovary removal and a case of diabetes. According to Bill, he has no purpose in life and is just waiting to die, so what better time to explore his life-long curiosity. He has had both hips and his right knee replaced within the past two years. During the healing phase, he was prescribed Arixtra, a drug that is injected into the belly fat to prevent blood clots from the operations from entering the heart, lungs, and brain. He had always been squeamish about receiving shots and now he was going to have to inject himself in the stomach every day for two weeks after each operation. He found that giving himself shots was no big deal. The needle was small and sharp and entered the skin relatively easily. He kept a few of the needles and used them to try to withdraw semen directly from his testicles. He thought the pain would be unbearable, but found that after the needle penetrated the skin of the scrotum, there was virtually no pain as the needle entered the testicle. He tried this a number of times, but only got a small amount of clear fluid occasionally. Next, he decided how long a pin or needle he could insert into his scrotum and testicles. He tried several size needles and pins and arrived at hatpins as pins long enough to penetrate his scrotum, pass completely through his testicle and emerge on the other side of his scrotum. What he learned from this activity is that sewing needles and pins do not pass through the skin or connective tissue as easily as hypodermic needles, most of the pain of the needle going in occurs in the outer layer of skin. He also learned that there is a very tough sheath of connective tissue enclosing each testicle.

Going back to the original story, as I said, Bill had always wondered what his testicles would look like outside of his scrotum. Since he determined that his scrotum was not very sensitive to pain, he wiped his scrotum thoroughly with alcohol and coated it with Ora-Gel, a pain numbing gel containing benzocaine. Next, he found a new single-edged razor blade and wiped it down with alcohol. He used the razor to cut a 1 1/2 long gash across his scrotum over the left testicle. He figured that this would be a hole large enough to squeeze his testicle out of his scrotum. When Bill tried to squeeze his testicle out only a small part would poke through the hole in his scrotum. He tried to reach in with his little finger to force the testicle out, but it wouldn’t budge. He finally got a pair of surgical scissors he had taken home from a previous operation and wiped them down with alcohol. He used the scissors to snip through the connective tissue connecting the testicle to the scrotum. After cutting most of the testicle free, Bill was able to get the testicle out of the scrotum, but it was not as free as he thought it would be. He was unable to grab the testicle and pull it to expose the blood vessels and cord that held the testicle to the body, as the stories in Eunuch Archives would indicate. Bill pushed the testicle back inside his scrotum and used dental floss to sew up the gash.

It’s probably just as well that Bill was unable to expose the cord and blood vessels connecting his left testicle to his body. According to Bill, he probably would have tried to cut the testicle off and eat it like the people in the Eunuch Archives stories frequently do. At the current time, four days after the incision was made, Bill says his scrotum is swollen on the left side and there is some minor discomfort if he moves the wrong way, but the incision doesn’t seem to be infected, although it is still seeping a small amount of blood. I will try to keep you updated on Bill’s progress in healing, if I have time and there seems to be any interest from you readers out there.