I looked for nearby urologist on the Internet and found a network of modern urology centers called UroFast. A strange name for a medical center, but whatever. Apparently they've been around for just a few years, but already had two dozen centers. The nearest was just two hours of driving away, so I figured it's better to go there instead of some local hillbilly doctor. I called them up and made an appointment.

The ambulance was located in a very modern-looking office building. They had a whole floor for themselves, all white, clean, shiny. Some friendly music was playing in the hallway with comfy chairs. I approached a receptionist, told her I have an appointment and that i want to inquire about circumcision s.

"Is it for medical reasons?" she asked.

When I replied that it's not, she asked for my name and handed me a form to fill out.

"Please sit down anywhere in the hallway, the nurse will come and fill you in."

I thanked and went to sit down in one of the soft chairs. I barely started writing on the form when a pretty young nurse approached, with a clipboard under her arm.

"Hi, I'm Susanna, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure," I replied. She sat down in a chair next to me and started talking in a muted voice.

"I understand you're here to ask about circumcision for other than medical reasons. Is that correct?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Is it for yourself?"

"Yes, it is."

"May I ask why you're interested in the circumcision ?"

"Well, how do I put it... The foreskin just gets in the way, and, well... Also, it should be easier to clean afterwards."

"I see. So there isn't anyone who wants you to get it done, right?"

"No, noone else."

"Good. You see, we're currently working on a project and want to find out more about our customers. You could help us greatly by filling out this detailed questionnaire. If you do, you'll get 50 % off the price of your procedure, if you decide to go on with it."

"Seriously, 50 %?"

"That's right, it's a government-supported project. The health ministry reimburses us for some of the cost."

"Well, that's interesting. All right, I'll check out your questionnaire."

"Thank you. You don't need to fill out the first form then. I'll be back to see if you have any questions."

She handed me her clipboard. It was indeed a detailed questionnaire, 8 pages long and filled with all kind of intimate questions – sexuality, sex life, preferences, attitude. All very detailed. No wonder they gave 50 % to everyone who answers these questions.

Susanna collected my questionnaire half an hour later. She assured me the doctor will see me in a few minutes. True to her words, she called me 5 minutes later, so I entered the doctor's office.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Miles. You must be Ben. May I call you Ben?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied. He encouraged me to ask anything I wanted to know and answered all my questions. I decided to schedule for the procedure, not get it right away. Why not have one more week, I thought.

I was asked to pull down my trousers and sit on the bed. He asked me to pull my foreskin up and down and observed everything in detail, but didn't touch me. I kinda appreciated that.

Doc asked me to remain on the bed, while he sat down on his chair and stared in the computer monitor for a good while.

"Well, Ben, the computer program has analyzed your questionnaire. It's very interesting."

"What's so interesting?"

"You say the foreskin is bothering you, right?"

"That's right. It's obtrusive."

"Well judging by your answers in the questionnaire, I think, and this program agrees, that it's not actually the foreskin that's bugging you."

"What do you mean? What else could it be?"

Doc has leaned back in his chair. "It's your whole penis you can't stand. The foreskin is the tip of the iceberg, but you'd rather be without the whole member. It gets in the way of your life all the time. You dream of not having to deal with it. At all, ever."

I opened my mouth, but no sound could come out, I was shocked by what the doctor said. He continued.

"You came here for a circumcision , but what you really want, is a penectomy. See?" He pointed his pencil in my direction.

I looked down to confirm my suspicion: I had a massive erection and my ears were ringing from blood pressure. I was completely exposed and hugely ashamed. How could they know my secret? True enough, ever since my dick started to grow during my puberty, I started to hate it. Always getting erect in the most inappropriate situations. Always tempting me to jack off. Making a mess. Feeling bad about it. Heck, I even hated the feeling how it scrubs against the trousers or underwear. And then the foreskin thing, indeed a tip of an iceberg. I became fixated on my balls instead, cherishing them, while trying to forget about that ... thing. But it always kept reminding me of its existence. I couldn't stand it. I often envisioned myself being without the penis, nothing pressing and rubbing against the underwear. I had dreams, running on the beach and making saltos, naked and penisless, free of the hanging burden, nothing standing in the way of the wind blowing against my balls. Those were dreams about freedom, but I always had to wake up.

And now they knew all that. Wholy crap! I must have been red as a lobster.

"Doc, I, I..." It made no sense to try to talk. I couldn't even think about what to say, much less speak.

"I bet it's surprising for you, now. But really, that's what the questionnaire is for. Some questions are tricky, they reveal what you think even if you don't answer directly. But don't worry, there's nothing to be worried about, absolutely nothing to be ashamed for. Actually I personally understand you completely."

I looked at him with blurry eyes, my ears still ringing.

"What do you mean? Do you... also... have these?"

"No, not me exactly, but my younger son used to have the same thing going. I only discovered after giving him and his brother the questionnaire as well. I must admit it was strange for me at first, but when we started the project in our ambulances, we found it's pretty common. Lots of men have this desire."

"No kidding? How many?" My head was slowly clearing up.

"From the survey results so far, it can be anything between three and twenty percent. We assume it's ten to fifteen percent. It's almost a rule than an exception with homosexual men, but nothing out of the ordinary for heterosexuals either."

I felt kinda stupid. "What do you do about it then?"

"If, well if you want to feel complete, there's just one thing to do."

I just stared at him with, not saying anything.

"My younger son, Josh is his name, we tried quite a few things with him, but at the end, there was just one thing to do. He is penisless now. He got it done right here."

I shook my head. This was the most exciting dialog I've ever had, but I couldn't believe something like this is actually possible. Yet, it didn't seem like a joke at all. Okay, so it's not a joke. Maybe they really do it. Maybe three or ten or whatever percent of men want to get their dicks cut off, and maybe I dream about it too. But still, that's too much. I wouldn't do something so definite like that.

"Doctor, it's... Look. Okay it may be something I was thinking about, when I was deep in fantasies or something. But really, that's... It's not possible to just get the... To really do it. Just like that. I wouldn't really do it."

"If you say so. But we know that's just because of the society. The... Social habits. Well that's what our project is about. We want to show that people are very different in how they understand sexuality. Everyone has something that's deemed as freaky by someone else. We just have to show it to the world. You definitely should, too."

"That's very interesting doctor, but I'm not going to pursue this any further. Sorry." The "sorry" was meant much more for me than for him. I slid down from the bed and pulled up my trousers. In my mind, I cursed my dick again for having to stuff all that mass inside the limited space of the pants.

"Well I guess I was too fast on you. So, do you still want the circumcision , then?"

I completely forgot about my original intention. But it was still valid.

"Yes. That would be quite enough."

"Good. Let's see when can I push you in the schedule. My nurse won't be back for another 15 minutes, so I have to check it myself. Hm. Next week is fine?"

"Sounds good."

"Great. Don't forget you have 50 % off the price, either for the circumcision , or... for the other operation... if you'd decide to get it after all. You know, it would be actually simpler and way faster, so if you change your mind, there's no need to reschedule or tell us in advance."

My dick pushed strongly against the inside of my pants again. It was harder and harder to rest my case and refuse. It would be so easy to just say yes...

"I'll check what the price currently is... It fluctuates a bit. Hold on."

Doc was clicking and typing, looking for the right data.

"This accounting stuff is killing me. Hm, now where is it... Ah here it is. Hey, this is interesting. You know what? You wouldn't guess how many men have had penectomies done here at our center."

I didn't really want to know, but he'd tell me anyway.

"Seven hundred ninety-nine. And we have a policy to give every 100's customer of the same procedure 50 % off. This means, combined with your other 50 % slack, you can get a penectomy completely free. What do you say? It won't get better than that. circumcision , on the other hand, is not free."

I got dizzy again and had to lean against the bed. Is this actually happening? Is the doc really trying to persuade me to get my cock cut off? I wanted to do it so much, yet I knew I couldn't... It's not right. Right?

"Doc? I'm here." The woman's voice came from the side door. "Everything going fine? Did you cope with the accounting stuff okay?"

"All fine, Susanna. I was just telling our client Ben about penectomies."

"Really?" Susanna smiled wide. "I thought you came for a circumcision. But why aim for small things when you can go all the way? A great decision. You have my support."

"And I was just telling Ben he could be our 800's customer, so he could have it done completely free."

"Great! You hit the jackpot! You're lucky."

"But, Ben, we'd have to do it today, because other clients will come in the meantime and the next one will be the 800's."

I looked up, sweating from trying to resist the temptation, all my will to refuse falling apart.

"Also, I guess you wouldn't be comfortable with me doing it, so Susanna can do it for you. And I'm pretty sure she's eager to start."

"Yep, that's me." She actually jumped a little from excitement. I looked at her and got lost in her green eyes framed by blond curls and freckles on her cute little nose. I could no longer resist the siren call that's been there for so long. Susanna positioned her fingers in the shape of the letter V and made a "snip snip" motion. I opened my mouth, but couldn't speak.

I just nodded.