My Headless Horseman

I've been reluctant to tell this story, but my wife has finally become so insistent I can no longer resist her. When you read what I've written here, perhaps you'll understand why I'm embarrassed, and probably a little ashamed, by what happened to me, in part because of my own actions.

I posted a story to the Eunuch Archive last year that gave a somewhat true, but mostly fictional account of what happened to me a few years ago on a trip to California. My first wife and I had mutually agreed we had become so incompatible it no longer made sense to stay married, and so we split everything as fairly as we could and went our separate ways. I had more spending money than at any previous time in my life, and decided to blow some of it on a trip to the West Coast before I started getting on with my new life as a once-again single man.

I was in no hurry to get anywhere, and took my own sweet time as I traveled. From my home in Colorado, I'd driven south on Interstate 25, then west on Highway 40 until I reached California. From there I made my way to the coastline and drove north on the coastal highway, which as I recall was Highway 1. The scenery there was so radically different from what I was used to (eastern Colorado is pretty dry country, almost a desert), that I was continuously astounded by what I was seeing.

The women who frequented the beaches of Southern California were as different to me as was the scenery. I remember spending lots of time just sitting on benches and staring at them without seeming to. I'd never seen a woman in a string bikini, other than on TV, and the sight of all those juicy bodies was enough to give me an almost constant erection. Many were the nights in my lonely motel rooms when I thought of them while playing with my favorite toy.

By the time I'd reached the midpoint of the state, I began to think almost constantly of finding a real woman to take the place of the fantasy babes I'd been screwing. I'd always been pretty shy about meeting the opposite sex, and really wasn't sure just how to go about it, especially in the strange city I was in at the time. Finally I screwed up enough courage to try my luck in a bar that was about four blocks from my motel, and walked there.

The place was certainly not the type of bar that I'd been in a few times in my hometown. The ceiling was covered with mirrors, and there were globes hanging everywhere that also had mirrors on them. The lights were all different colors, and seemed to flash in time to the music that was blaring over the loudspeakers. I was disappointed to see there were only about half a dozen women in the bar, along with easily 50 men. It looked like my chances of meeting someone of the female persuasion were pretty slim, but I decided to stay for awhile anyway, just to give it a shot.

As soon as I sat down at one of the barstools, the bartender took my order. To say I was shocked by his appearance would have been putting it mildly. There's no doubt that he was a man, but his mannerisms were very effeminate. He was wearing purple trousers that were obviously two sizes to small for him, and his shirt was bright orange. It seemed to have no buttons at all, and was open in a wide "V" in front. That made no secret of the fact that he had things like earrings in his nipples. I wondered then just what sort of place this was.

As I sipped my drink, I turned around on the stool and looked over the dance floor to check out the few women there. I'd never before seen two men dancing together, but that type of pairing seemed to be the norm in that place. And not only were they dancing together, they were actually rubbing their crotches together and playing with each other's butts. Again I wondered what was going on, and decided that maybe I'd better try some other bar farther up the street.

Just at that moment, a woman walked up to me and said, "Hello, stranger. You're new here, aren't you?" She certainly wasn't the best-looking girl in the world, but in my horny state of mind that didn't matter. What did matter was that she seemed to be all woman, as opposed to some of the others in the place, and she seemed to be interested in me. Her voice was husky, which I assumed was caused by smoking too many cigarettes, but somehow that just made her more attractive to me.

As I looked her over, I couldn't help but notice she wasn't wearing a bra. I knew women did that, but had never seen my former wife without one. The sight of this woman's erect nipples was very exciting to me, and I'm sure I stared. Finally I was able to reply that this was my first visit, not only to this bar but also to the state. That led to the usual sort of questions and replies about where I was from, and why I was so far from home. She seemed to be pleased by the fact that I was traveling alone, and no one was waiting for me back home.

It seemed natural when we ended up in a booth along the far wall, and in a back corner. That made it seem more likely that I'd score that night, and I counted my lucky stars.

I recall that Sondra, which was the name she gave, seemed to be very much in charge of the conversation, as well as everything else. She ordered more drinks for us, and made me dance with her several times. By the time we'd rubbed crotches a couple of times on the dance floor, I had an almost constant erection. She seemed to be pleased with that, and on more than one occasion she even squeezed it through my jeans. No one had ever done that before, and it just about made me cum in my pants. She seemed to know just how far to go, though, and I was always on the edge of shooting my load, but didn't do so.

I've never been much of a drinker, and the lack of practice certainly showed that night. Even though the drinks were small, by the time I'd put away a few of them I had entered that state where everything is funny, and everybody is your friend. It was when I was feeling that way that two of Sondra's men friends joined us in the booth.

She introduced them as Lance and Dirk, names unusual enough to make me laugh. Sondra and I had been sitting on one side of the booth, making out as much as possible in a public place. The two men sat on the opposite side, and we continued to drink as we made small talk.

I don't know how many drinks I'd had when the subject of "dirty movies" came up, but I'm sure I qualified as being drunk. I remember one of the men saying something about having received a new videotape that day, and suggesting we go to his place to watch it. Sondra seemed to think that was a good idea, and she pulled me out of the booth and helped me steady myself. I distinctly remember how the mirrored globes seemed to be shooting laser beams at me as we made our way to the door, and then being helped into the back seat of a car. I don't remember much else, because I must have slept during the entire drive to the house.

Sondra shook me awake when we arrived, and the three of them half-carried me inside. I have no idea where the house was, or even what color is was. It was nighttime, and there were no outside lights. It was probably somewhere in the city, because there were other houses on either side.

Once we were inside, we sat on a couch. Sondra was on my left side and Lance was on the other. Dirk was fiddling with a VCR and television set, apparently trying to get the tape ready to run.

He finally took his seat and used a remote control to start the movie. All the time we'd been sitting there, Sondra and I had been kissing and generally feeling-up each other. By the time the tape started playing, I was again pretty aroused.

The movie was not what I usually thought of as a movie. It was fairly short, and the whole thing was concerned with two men sucking each other's cocks. All the time it was playing, Sondra was kissing my neck and fondling my erection. I remember her saying how hot it made her to see men making love like that, and I have to confess that it seemed exciting to me at the time. By the time the tape reached the point where one man climaxed in the other's mouth, I was pretty turned on.

As soon as the first tape had ended, Dirk loaded another one. It was soon playing, and again it showed two men making love, but this time one man was lying back across a table with his knees drawn up. The other man was kneeling between his legs and licking and tonguing like mad. Before much longer the kneeling man stood, and then began to force his cock inside the butthole of the prone man. I think I was in shock then, even in my almost-drunk state. Never before in my life had I seen such a thing, although I had read enough to know that it was what homosexuals did to one another.

I don't know where it came from, but it was at about that time I realized I was holding another drink and sipping rapidly from it. The scenes I was witnessing were making my throat very dry, and the drink seemed to help with that. I remember draining that glass, and being handed another. As I drank it, Sondra whispered how very hot it made her to see men fucking like that, and asked me if I liked it too.

Her constant attention to my penis had given me the worst case of blue balls I'd ever had, and all I could think of was screwing her. I don't know what my reply was, other than it was in agreement with her opinion. It was about then I realized my jeans were unfastened and the fly was unzipped, and her hand was lightly stroking my stiff cock through my undershorts.

When she told me to lift up, I did so. It wasn't until my jeans were on the floor that I realized it had been Lance who had slid them off me, while Sondra's hand continued her attentions.

Again she told me to lift up, and this time I watched as Lance took down my shorts, leaving my cock waving in the air. Even my liquor-fogged brain understood that the wrong person had undressed me, and I started to have second thoughts about what was happening. Sondra got me back on the right track by unbuttoning her blouse and then removing it, and I had no thoughts for anything else other than her naked breasts.

I've always been a tit man, and I have a vivid memory of my first look at her bare globes. They were smaller than my former wife's breasts, but were certainly adequate. The nipples seemed to be very small, even though they were erect. I remember leaning over to suck and kiss them, but she pushed me back up and said something about watching the next tape. All the time, she had continued to fondle my now-naked cock and balls, and the combination of the alcohol and the sexual arousal made me do as she said.

Just as the third movie was ready to begin, Sondra pulled my left leg over her right, and Lance pulled my right leg over his left. My crotch was spread wide open, and it didn't seem to cause me any embarrassment or concern at all. My attention was totally on the movie, and the wonderful feelings in my crotch caused by Sondra's attentions there.

The images in that third tape are forever burned in my mind, and I'll remember them until my dying day. The movie started with a masked man walking through a doorway. Sondra whispered, "That's Lance. Isn't he a hunk, though?"

My concentration was momentarily broken by being told the man in the movie was right then sitting beside me, with my bare leg thrown over his. However, I wasn't distracted for long, and once again gazed with fascination at the screen.

Lance was pulling on a leash that was fastened to a collar around the neck of another man, who was naked, except for a matching mask. The naked man was led to the center of the room and told to stand under a rope that was dangling from the ceiling. Lance then tied the rope around his prisoner's wrists, after which he removed the collar and leash.

The camera showed him walking to a nearby wall, and then turning the handle of a winch that was mounted there. As the winch turned, the naked man was slowly stretched toward the pulley in the ceiling, stopping only when just the tips of his toes were touching the floor.

He then came walking back, and I could see he was carrying something that had a black handle with several strips of leather or rope attached to it. While she continued to caress my cock and balls, Sondra whispered in my ear, "This is my favorite part. Watch close."

I was doing just that, wondering what was going to happen. I suppose it shows how really inexperienced I was at that time, but I have to admit I was shocked when Lance raised whatever it was he was carrying, and then brought it sharply down against the hanging man's backside. I knew then the thing was some sort of whip, and could see that wherever it landed it left stripes and welts.

As the whipping continued, the camera panned slowly back until all of the naked man's body was visible. To my complete amazement, I saw that his penis was stiffening. That particular scene is burned permanently in my memory, and I'm sure I'll never forget watching the man's cock getting harder and harder as his butt was whipped. All the time that was going on, Sondra continued playing with me and whispering about how good the whip must feel, and how the man really loved being whipped.

She then pulled my left arm over her shoulder and placed my hand on her left breast. My right hand was then brought up to her other tit and held there. She told me how good it felt to have her nipples pinched and pulled, and begged me to do it for her. It would never have occurred to me to do such a thing to a woman, but I was sure she wanted it, because she continued to hold both her hands over mine. Even though I would rather have concentrated fully on the movie, I began to do as asked, and was soon rewarded with her sighs of arousal.

While she held her two hands over mine, and told me how good it would feel to be whipped, and how hot it would make her to see it being done to a man, her other hand continued to play with my cock and balls. (I know, I know. Most women have only two hands. I'm just relating my memories of that time, and that's how it seemed to me.)

My eyes had never moved from the television screen, seemingly captivated by the sight of the erect cock that was so excited by the whipping. I remember the extreme surge of lust that shot through my body when Lance stopped the ass whipping and walked around to the front of his victim. With virtually no pause, he again raised the whip and brought it crashing down. This time,though, the target was the dancing penis standing so proudly there. Again and again, the thongs found their mark, until in a matter of moments the thing looked for all the world like a striped barber's pole.

As Sondra held my hands in place over her tits, her other hand began to treat my genitals more and more roughly. I could feel her pinching me, and digging her fingernails into my stiff member.

As the movie came to an end, Lance knelt in front of the suspended man. He took the victim's balls in one hand and began squeezing them as hard as he could. When the camera moved to a closeup, I could see the flesh of the sac actually squeezing between the torturer's fingers. Sondra was murmuring, "Bust him. Crush his nuts. Pop them." All the while, her hand in my crotch was squeezing my nuts harder and harder. As the cum began to spurt from the man's cock, I could feel the beginning sensation of my own orgasm. A painful pinch beneath the head of my cock reduced my arousal just enough to stop that sensation, but seemed to do very little to decrease my lust.

As the tape ended, my concentration broke and I looked down. It was then I saw the hand that was trying to crush my balls belonged to Lance, not Sondra. I try to justify my lack of reaction by saying I was too drunk to do anything. However, I know deep in my heart that I was also experiencing sexual arousal about as great as anytime in my life. Whatever the reason, I did nothing to stop what Lance was doing to me. When he did stop, it was all his own doing, and none of mine.

Dirk got up to insert the fourth tape into the VCR then, and Sondra said, "This is the new tape that came today. We made it a couple of weeks ago, and the processor just now sent us a copy. It'll be the hottest one yet, but nowhere near as good as the one we're going to make in a little while." The movie began running then, and once again I was riveted to the screen.

As the tape began, I saw a naked man standing with his back to a wall, in an odd position. His arms were above his head and out to his sides. His feet were in the same relative position, although on the floor. He resembled nothing more than a stick-figure "X", and I wondered why he was standing like that.

The camera then panned in closer to him, and my question was answered. His wrists seemed to be tied to the wall, as were his ankles. Most of my attention, though, was focused on his penis, which was hard and slowly bobbing up and down.

When the camera again panned out, two men walked into the scene. They were both masked, as was the first man. Again Sondra whispered, "Dirk and Lance. I was running the camera." Again I was only faintly interested in the identity of the men, being much more interested in what they were going to do to their prisoner.

As in the preceding video, they began by whipping the bound man. This time Lance began at the man's nipples and slowly worked downward. Dirk began by punishing the man's ankles and slowly working upward. A couple of minutes later, their whip strokes met in the middle, at the expected targets.

Stroke after stroke landed on the man's cock and balls, and their only effect was to make his erection bigger. When the camera closed in on his penis, I could see that pre-cum was glistening on the tip of the thing, and every impact of the thongs would make tiny drops fly off.

I think it was then that Sondra, who had been continuously whispering about how good it would feel to have my cock and balls whipped, and how hot it would make her to see it being done to me, asked, "Would you let me whip you like that?" I don't know what my exact response was, but I have to admit that I told her I would.

All the time the movie was making me hotter and hotter, Lance was playing with my cock and balls. He was an expert at knowing just when I was ready to cum, and would roughly pinch the tender flesh under my cock head to bring me back down from the peak. He did that time and again, and the frustration I was feeling was intense.

When the whipping finally ended, Dirk knelt in front of the captive. Lance took something off a small table that was nearby and held it out to his friend. Again the camera panned in, and I at last realized he was holding several steel needles.

I don't know how it was possible, but my lust seemed to reach another level when Dirk took one of the needles and began to slowly push it through the distended cock head. He kept pushing until the thing emerged from the opposite side, stopping only when it was centered. He then took the remaining needles, one at a time, and repeated the process. When he at last stood, the camera once again panned to a closeup. I could see six needles had been pushed completely through the man's cock head, each in a slightly different position. The effect was as if I were looking at a frill on a bird's head, but this bird was bobbing up and down and slobbering.

Dirk then gripped the man's cock very roughly with one hand while almost crushing his balls with the other. He made a couple of vigorous strokes on the shaft of the thing, and it immediately responded by shooting spurt after spurt of semen across the room.

The movie ended then, and Sondra said, "I want to do that to you more than anything else in the whole world. Are you man enough to take it? It'd make me hotter than I've ever been to see you tied up like that. Please let me do it."

There is simply no way to justify my answer. All I can say is that I was drunker than I'd ever been in my life, and probably more turned on also. Whatever the case, I said something like, "Okay. Do it." That was all the answer they needed.

As soon as Lance released my balls, he and Sondra helped me to my feet. Dirk had been kneeling in front of me removing my shoes and socks, and as soon as I was standing he unbuttoned my shirt and took it off, leaving me completely naked.

The three of them then half carried me to another room. I have to admit that my memories are skimpy for the next few minutes, as the simple activity of moving seemed to increase my drunkenness. I remember entering a room that was the most brightly lit of anyplace I had ever been.

One of my more clear memories is of something that was fastened to a wall. Allow me to reveal a little bit of my background by saying that I had worked for several years in residential construction, and knew my way around tools and materials. For that reason, I immediately recognized what I was seeing as a pair of 2x6 boards that had been nailed to the wall in the shape of an "X". To this day, I clearly remember thinking that a half-lap joint had been used where one board crossed the other, and how well done was the workmanship. I know it's an odd memory to have, but that's just the way it is. I guess alcohol does strange things to the brain.

I now know that the thing was called an "X-beam", but at that time such a thing was far from my knowledge. It's a case of "live and learn", I guess.

At some point I realized I was standing unsupported by my companions, although there was obviously something holding me upright. My arms seemed to be stretched up and out, and as I struggled to see my hands with the intensely bright lights shining in my eyes, I could just barely make out some sort of rope or strap tied around each wrist. It was easier to see my feet, which were stretched to the sides similar to my arms. Like my wrists, my ankles were also tied to the boards.

I could feel something on my face, and had an immediate recollection of wearing a Halloween mask as a child. Although it covered only my upper face, it definitely felt like a mask with eyeholes cut in it. At the same time as I had that feeling, I heard Sondra talking to me. I can't remember her exact words, but they were something like, "Open your damned mouth or I'll tear them off you!"

The pain in my balls told me exactly what she meant, and I knew she was applying a terrible pressure to my sac. She was holding a red rubber ball in her other hand, and obviously wanted to put it in my mouth. I tried to hold my mouth closed, but simply couldn't bear the pain. When I opened it, she jammed the ball between my teeth, and then fastened a string or strap behind my head to hold it in place. After the thing was in place, she said something like, "This one's going to have sound, and we can't have you yelling out any names, can we?"

When she was satisfied that I was completely gagged, she took something off a small table beside me. She knelt in front of me, and as I looked down she took my flagging penis in her mouth and began tonguing and sucking it.

Up until that time, I had experienced exactly two blowjobs in my entire life, and I can say with no hesitation they couldn't compare to what I was receiving then. She was obviously an expert in what she was doing to me, and in no time at all my cock forgot about the pain in my nuts.

As soon as I was once again fully erect, Sondra wrapped something like a shoelace around the base of my cock and tied it off. She said something that sounded like, "Now let's see you lose that hardon, little man." Satisfied with her efforts, she stood again.

She then put on a mask, which I assumed to be a duplicate of the one I was wearing, and walked out of the light. She said something about being ready to start, and asked somebody if the camera was ready. One of the men said it was, and then nobody else spoke for several seconds.

It seemed to me that a long period of time passed before she again spoke, but I'm sure that's not the case. At any rate, she brought me back to consciousness by saying in a harsh tone of voice, "So you think it'll feel good to be tortured, do you? You're about to find out firsthand. We'll see just how much you like the real thing."

Please understand that I'm not quoting her words exactly. As you can probably imagine, my brain was pretty fogged over at that time, and I'm sure my memories are not exact. However, the gist of her words is correct.

She then said, "I'm going to teach you a lesson for trying to rape me this evening. You've been trying to get in my pants ever since we met, so now I'm going to show you just what you missed."

She was still bare-breasted then, and was wearing only the short skirt that had been on her when we'd first met. As she stood to one side of me, and slightly in front, she unfastened the waistband of the skirt. When she released the thing, it fell to the floor around her feet. I saw that she was wearing some sort of belt around her waist, and my first thought was that she was having her period and wearing a feminine napkin. My wife had used the same sort of thing, although hers was much smaller than Sondra's.

Sondra then unfastened the belt slowly, all the while saying things like, "So you wanted to see my little clit, did you? You're just going to love it, I'll bet. Are you ready to see my peter-clit now, sweetie pie?"

She then dropped the belt and spread her legs. At that very second I received a shock greater than any I'd had in my whole life, and don't know how I kept from passing out as it swept over my body.

As she moved her legs apart, a full grown cock, very much erect, sprang into view. It was followed by a complete set of balls, and they were drawn up tightly to her (guess I should say "his" now) crotch. There was a cord tied around the shaft of the cock, right behind the head, and the belt dangled from it. I realized the cord had been holding "Sondra's" penis drawn back between her/his legs, and that's why there had been no bulge there.

The shock of seeing such a thing seemed to bring me fully awake. My memory is clear of that moment, and it is a memory of total revulsion. I had been trying to have sex with this "woman" all night, even to the point of stimulating "her" tits. The part that made me sick though, was that I'd kissed Sondra several times, even sticking my tongue in her mouth every now and then.

I was powerless to do anything then, and could do nothing to change my situation. I knew my own out-of-control lust had brought me to this point, and now I was going to suffer the consequences. As my befogged brain recalled parts of the movies I'd thought so exciting just minutes before, a feeling of dread swept over me. That feeling served to further sober me, and I have no doubt that what I write now is accurate.

Sondra quickly untied the cord around "her" penis and let it drop to the floor. She then walked to the table and came back carrying what I thought were earrings. She (I simply have to refer to her that way, since even after all that happened, I still think of Sondra as female) said, "Let's see how your little titties like this. You seemed to think it was fun to hurt mine, so now we'll see how you like it."

She began to massage one of my nipples, which became erect despite my best intentions. One of the "earrings", which I now know was a nipple clamp, was placed over the thing and tightened until it became very painful. She then repeated the operation on my other nipple, seeming to tighten that clamp even more than the first.

As soon as she was satisfied with her work, Sondra again went to the table. When she returned I saw two large lead weights in her hand, each with a small length of chain fastened to it. She connected one of the weights to a nipple clamp, and then lifted it as high as possible. With a loving smile directed at my face, she then dropped the weight toward the floor.

The pain I felt then was much greater than anything Lance had given me earlier in the evening. By then, my lust was almost completely gone, as was a lot of the effect of the alcohol. What I felt was not exciting, not arousing, in any way. It was simply pain.

When she attached the second weight to the other clamp and raised it, I began to shake my head from side to side, and tried to beg her to not drop it. The only thing that came from my throat was a guttural moan, and she said, "You liked that didn't you? I'll try to make this one hurt more."

To my horror, she then seemed to throw the weight downward. When it reached the end of the chain, the agony shot through my chest. I tried to scream then, but the gag wouldn't let me. I know that my eyes were so full of tears that I couldn't see clearly.

As soon as my head cleared, I realized that she was talking again, saying, "Your little thingie is still all hard, isn't it? You must really like pain. A normal man's cock would be shrunk up so much it'd be almost invisible by now. Let's see how hard it is after it feels what comes next."

I knew then why the string had been tied around the base of my cock. There was no way for me to lose the hardon with it there, and she could pretend that my erection signaled that I was enjoying being tortured. I was just hoping that this night would end as quickly as possible.

She then walked to the table once again, this time returning with another shoelace and something that caused a great deal of confusion in my agitated brain. She was carrying a brick, but not just any ordinary brick. That one was a residential facing brick, with a scored face. It had five holes down the center, and weighed 5.8 pounds. The reason I know those facts is that it was a duplicate of the bricks that had been installed on the last house I'd worked on, before leaving for my trip. You can probably guess that this produced an enormous sense of confusion in me, and I recall thinking that I had somehow returned home and these things were being done to me there.

Sondra again knelt in front of me. As I watched in fear, she doubled up her fist and brought it sharply up, crashing into my sac. I tried to scream with the agonizing pain that caused, but again the gag would not allow it. She then began squeezing and pulling on my poor balls, and quickly succeeded in loosening them.

The second shoelace was then wrapped around my sac, above the balls, and tied. As you've probably guessed, the brick was then fastened to the other end of the string. I was terrified that she'd drop the brick, as she'd done with the nipple weights, but she merely lowered it until my nuts accepted the weight.

I'm sure many of you are thinking that "only" six pounds hanging on a set of balls would be nothing hard to bear. All I can say is, try it when you're not turned on, and after someone has just slammed a fist into your sac. I guarantee it hurts, and the feeling was as if my testicles were being torn from my body.

As Sondra returned from the table the next time, my heart sank even further. She was carrying a pincushion, and it was filled with needle after needle. As the scene from the last videotape flashed through my brain, she knelt in front of me and said, "Let's see how much your little dickie likes mama's needles. Do you want me to put all of them in you, or just a few?"

Again I tried to speak, and again nothing but a muffled groan came from my throat. She said, "Oh, okay. I had planned to use just a few of them, but since you begged for as much pain as possible, I'll put every one of them in you. Ready?"

This time she didn't pause for an answer, but placed the pincushion on the floor and pulled one needle out of it. When she placed the point against the side of my cock head, I tried to steel myself against the pain I'd soon be feeling.

That didn't seem to have any effect, because as soon as she pushed the thing into my flesh, the jolt of pain that shot up my shaft and exploded in my abdomen almost made me pass out. I wished then that I were still drunk, or at least still as aroused as before. Maybe that would have helped me bear the torture.

Again and again, she pushed needles through the head of my cock, stopping only when they were centered. Again and again, the agonizing pain shot through my body. I think it was after the sixth needle was in place that I realized my cock was becoming numb. I was told later by the doctor that the shoelace was causing that, and I should be glad for it. He said that the full effect of the pain could have caused me to stop breathing, or at least to pass out.

When she had pushed the sixth needle through me, Sondra again held up the pincushion and said, "Oh, look. Still a dozen left. I know you want all of them, so I'll try to find another place to stick them."

She then began to methodically push more of the needles through the shaft of my cock, and again continued until six of them had been centered in it. With no hesitation she pushed the remaining six needles through my balls, with three in each one.

By that time, I was on the edge of unconsciousness, and it took me several seconds to realize that the pincushion was empty. I watched her carry it back to the table, hoping with all my heart that my ordeal was over.

That wasn't to be, though. When she returned she was carrying another shoelace in one hand, and a steak knife in the other. I'll never forget seeing the serrations in the blade of the knife, and how the bright lights flashed along them as she walked.

Without saying anything, she again knelt in front of me. She placed the knife on the floor and wrapped the string twice around the shaft of my cock, right behind the head. She pulled it as tight as she possibly could, and then knotted it.

After picking up the knife, she held the blade against my cock, between the head and the cord. She whispered seductively, "Thank you for wanting me to do this to you. It's something I've thought about for a long time. I love you."

She then pinched the tip of my cock head between the thumb and forefinger of one hand, and began to slowly slice it off with the other.

That's the last thing I remember, as my brain must have experienced an overload of pain and I passed out. Try as I might, I cannot recall anything else between then and when I woke up in the hospital. I was lying on a gurney and being pushed rapidly down a hallway. I remember seeing the bright lights in the ceiling, and wondering if I were still in the house, being taken to another place for further torture. Then I fell asleep.

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You're probably wondering why I wrote the above, since I'd said I'm so embarrassed and ashamed by my part in my own torture. As I stated in the opening paragraph, my wife insisted that I do so, and the reason is this: She, and in part I, have become obsessed with seeing the videotape that was made when I was tied to that X-beam.

After I met my wife when I returned from California, and as we became intimate, I made up a story about an accident that had hurt me "down there". She told me later that she knew I wasn't telling her the whole truth, and for that reason she kept badgering me for the correct version. It was one night when she had kept me aroused for several hours, and I was desperate for relief, that I finally "spilled the beans", so to speak.

From that time on, she made me tell the story over and over, and it seemed to never lose its ability to excite and arouse her. She immediately named my cock, "The Headless Horseman", and still refers to it as "H.H." During all that time, we both searched the Internet for references to the videotape of my session, but never found anything relating to it. That's why she insisted I write this story.

We're sure there are many people out there who have either seen the tape, or heard of it. If you're one of them, and can convince us of the authenticity of the tape you have, we'll pay you a great deal for it. That's our entire justification for posting this story. If you've seen a videotape, or know of one, that shows what I've described above, then write to us. We'll also reply to any feedback posted on the Message Board.

It should be very easy to identify me in the tape, even though I was masked. I have a birthmark in close proximity to my penis and testicles. The shape of the birthmark is very distinctive. All you have to do is describe the birthmark, and its location, to convince us that you are for real. We'll reply to your e-mail and negotiate the purchase. Couldn't be simpler. Any takers?

To Sondra, Lance, and Dirk: I'm sure those aren't your names, but if you're reading this, then you know I'm talking to you. My wife has said many times that she thinks if we get hot enough, and then watch the tape, she'll be turned on enough to finish the job you started. She has offered to let you use your camera to make another tape of her doing that to me, at no charge. All we ask in return is a copy of my first session, and another of the second. Should be worth lots of money to you guys, don't you think? You can contact us the same way if you're interested.

She says, "Please hurry!"