Christine XI: Home Alone

“It’s cold and rainy this morning,” Mom said as she woke me at 7:30. “I think you should wear a pair of jeans this morning.”
“Mom,” I complained, “I hate jeans! I’ll wear a pair of tights if you like, and I got that gorgeous new angora sweater. I’ll be fine.”
“Christine, you’re going to Adam’s house to play, not to church.”
“I’ll be ok. Please, Mom? I love looking nice.”
“All right, dear. I guess I should be thankful that you’re not always going around looking like some kind of a bum.”

It was cold! REALLY cold! It was raining, and the radio said there might even be the odd snow flurry. So I chose a dark blue jumper with a white sweater over it, a pair of heavy light blue cable knit tights and white Nike sneakers. I felt a thrill as I pulled those tights on. I never tired of wearing them. Then of course I had my new pink angora sweater. “Adam is gonna think you’re trying to make him your boyfriend,” Mom teased as I ate breakfast. “You look really nice.”
“Adam knows better,” I said. “I told him I already have a boyfriend, and he’s not interested anyway. I just love looking nice.”

When I got to Adam’s house at about five to nine, the look on his face had me wondering if maybe Mom was right. “You’re so pretty!” he exclaimed as he ushered me in. “You’re always pretty.”
“Thanks,” I said self consciously. “You done your breakfast?”
“Just finished. I gotta clean up the kitchen though. Mom is busy doing the laundry.”
“I’ll help you,” I offered.
“You don’t have to.”
“I like to. I always help my mom, and sometimes I do it myself. I’m getting to be a pretty good cook too.”

“So how was the dance?” Adam asked as he washed and I dried.
“Ok I guess,” I answered. “Most of those boys are such weenies! Most of ‘em never danced once.”
“I wouldn’t either,” Adam reflected. “I’d be too shy.”
“Nothin’ to it,” I said. “I can teach you a few steps if you like. Josh and I go to a dance club every Tuesday night. It’s really cool. You should ask your mom if you can join.”
“I dunno. Mom keeps telling me that money’s pretty tight. My dad doesn’t pay child support, so all the money we have is what my mom makes.”

I started to get the seed of an idea as we finished up and put away the dishwashing things. “Let’s do your homework and get it out of the way,” I suggested. “Then we can do whatever we want for the rest of the day.”
“I suppose, if we haveta,” Adam said reluctantly. He went to the refrigerator and got us each a coke, then we headed upstairs. For the next hour we did some serious homework. We had a science project that Adam had convinced Miss Anthony to allow us to do together, so we finished that. Then there was a bit of Geography, spelling, and then we were back to Math. I was impressed at how much Adam had remembered from our previous session, but he still needed lots of practice.

“You two still working?” Mrs. Williams said as she came in with an armful of Adam’s clothes. For some reason I noticed Adam’s underwear. Like the rest of his clothes, his white briefs were somewhat threadbare, obviously had been worn a lot, but they were still immaculately clean. I shuddered as I thought of him having to wear them. I don’t think it was so much that they were so far from new, but just the fact that he had to wear those briefs at all. His socks were the same: white and well worn, but spotless.

“We’re just about done, Mom,” Adam said. “I kinda lose track of time when Christine is here. She makes doing homework almost fun.”
“It is fun,” I said. “I love school.”
“Easy for you to say,” he said. “You’re so smart. If I was that smart I’d like school too.”
“You’re smart, honey,” Mrs. Williams said. “You just have to learn to apply yourself. Don’t you agree, Christine?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” I said. “My dad has a million little tricks to studying things and remembering things. Every time I run into a problem, Dad or Mom come up with some sorta trick to help me remember.”

Again, I regretted saying what I did. Now Adam and his mom both had that distant look in their eyes. His mom didn’t answer me, but just finished sorting Adam’s clothes into little piles on his bed, and then left. “Don’t spend your whole day working,” she said over her shoulder. “This is Saturday, and you children need some time to relax.”
“We’re gonna quit now, Mom,” Adam said as he shot a look at me. I nodded, and we put the books away.

We were just wondering what to do next when we heard the phone ring. It wasn’t quite 11 and the movie wasn’t until two, so Adam offered to set up his new video game. He didn’t have a computer - most kids didn’t back then - so I promised to show him mine the next time we got a chance. Suddenly Mrs. Williams appeared in the doorway again. “I’m really sorry, kids,” she said. “I’ve just had a call from work. I have to go in right away. But I’m not sure what to do about you two. Do you suppose you could go to McDonald’s for an early lunch, then occupy yourselves until it’s time to go to the movie?”

“We can go to my house and wait,” I offered. “McDonald’s is only a few blocks away, and Mom lets Gail and me walk there sometimes.”
“Are you sure she wouldn’t mind? I really do have to hurry.”
“We can walk if you want,” Adam offered.
“No, honey, it’s raining too hard. But if I can drop you at McDonald’s that would be a great help. If it’s still raining hard after you eat, Christine, do you suppose your mother could pick you up there?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” I replied. “Or we could go right to the movie. It’s in the same mall.”

“I don’t like doing this,” she said worriedly. “Usually I don’t get called in on the weekend, but this is a real emergency, and we can certainly use the money.”
“We’ll be fine, Mom,” Adam said excitedly.
“Actually, why don’t you just drop us at my house?” I suggested. “My mom is almost always home, and if she isn’t I can go next door to my Aunt Julia’s and we can wait there.”
“I’d feel better doing that,” Mrs. Williams said. “You sure she won’t mind?”
“No, Ma’am. My mom already said she likes Adam.”

Ten minutes later Adam and I were standing in our driveway and Mrs. Williams was driving away. Two minutes after that we were standing at the back door. It was locked. I ran to the garage and peeked in the window. Mom’s car was gone. “That’s strange,” I exclaimed. “Guess we’ll have to go to Aunt Julia’s.” But she too was gone.

“What’re we gonna do?” Adam said.
“No problem,” I answered. “We’ll just go in our house and see where she’s gone. She always leaves a note.”
“But how are we gonna get in?”“No problem. Dad put a cypher lock on the back door so I wouldn’t have to carry a key.”
“A what?”
“Cypher lock,” I repeated. Adam watched with amazement as I pushed the combination on the door and opened it. “Cool!” he said. “Just like Star Wars!”
“Yeah,” I said with a grin, “my dad loves stuff like this.”

As usual, Mom’s note was on the refrigerator:

“Dear Christine,

I had to go in to the store to help your dad because two of the staff didn’t show up today. If you get home before I do call and let me know, and then go next door to Aunt Julia’s.

I love you, sweetie,
Mom”

“Hi, Mom,” I said when I heard her voice on the phone.
“Hi, Honey,” she said. “You home already?”
“Uh-huh, Adam’s mom got called in to work so she dropped us off here. We were gonna wait here till it was time to go to the movie.”
“That’s fine,” she said. “You just go next door and wait there.”
“I can’t, Mom. There’s no one home.”
“Oh that’s right! They were going shopping today. Damn!”
“We’ll be ok, Mom,” I said. I had never been left home alone before, but I was all grown up now, right?”
“Christine, I can’t leave you two there alone,” Mom exclaimed. “I’ll have to come home and get you.”
“But Mom, we were goin’ to a movie. We’ll be all right. I promise I’ll lock the doors and I won’t get into anything.”
“Honey, I can’t. I just can’t!”
“Please, Mom? You always say how responsible I am. We’ll be ok.”
“All right, just a second till I talk to your dad.”

I could hear muffled voices in the background as Mom and Dad talked. I could tell by all the background noise that the store was mobbed. “All right,” Mom’s voice came back on the phone. “Your dad says you should be fine. But keep the doors locked and don’t open them for anyone. Have you had your lunch?”
“No, Ma’am. I was just gonna fix something for Adam and me.”
“Cold sandwiches,” she directed. “There’s some lunch meat in the meat keeper and bread in the bread box. Don’t you dare touch the stove.”
But I was gonna make hot chocolate,” I protested.
“No stove!” she ordered. “And you two behave. I should be home by five at the very latest, ok?”
“Ok, Mom.”
“And Honey, you call if there’s any problem at all, ok?”
“Yes, Ma’am. And thanks, Mom. Bye.”
“We love you, Christine.”

“Ok,” I said as I hung up. “Mom says we can stay here long as we don’t use the stove or get into anything. So we got lunch meat or peanut butter for lunch.”
“Peanut butter’s fine,” Adam said. “Man, I wish Mom would leave me home alone. That’s so cool!”
“This is my first time,” I told him. “I think it’ll be my last too for at least a hundred years if we get into any trouble.”
“We won’t,” he assured me.

As I started getting out things for lunch, Adam got that funny look on his face again. “Christine,” he said tentatively, “what’re you wearing for Hallowe’en?”
“Josh and I are goin’ as Jack and Jill,” I replied. “Mom and Mrs. Reynolds made our outfits for us. I can show you mine after we eat if you like. What are you goin’ as?”
“I dunno,” he said wistfully. “I haven’t been able to think of anything.”
“I got a G.I. Joe costume from last year,” I offered. “I think it should fit.”
“Thanks,” he said. I noticed that his face was getting really red. “But I’d rather... Uhh... Christine, we’re friends, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“And friends can keep secrets, right?”
“Sure, but what does that have to do...” Now Adam’s face was on fire.
“I wanna go as a girl,” he blurted out, then almost choked. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

I could tell that Adam had told me a lot more than his words had indicated. I remembered the first conversation we’d had, when he had pumped me for every scrap of information he could get about what it was like being a girl. I also had a strong feeling that I hadn’t heard all I was going to hear. It didn’t take him long to prove me right.

“I talked to my mom about it,” Adam said when he’d regained the ability to say anything. “I mean, I told her that I was gonna ask you if you had anything I could borrow. I didn’t tell her the part about wanting to dress like a girl. She said it’d be all right to ask you, long as I didn’t coax and nag. You’re not gonna tell anyone, are ya?”
“Tell what?” I said. “Tell that you want to borrow a costume? What’s wrong with that?”
“I mean, don’t tell anyone that the real reason I wanna borrow something is that I wanna dress in some of your real pretty clothes. Please don’t tell.”
“I won’t tell,” I promised. “We can try to find you something soon as we eat.”
“Can we look now? Please?”

Adam’s whole body was shaking now. In my mind I traveled back to that hot day in June when I first put on Gail’s dress. Yes, I had fought it until it was on me, but it only took about three seconds for me to realize I loved it. I wasn’t at all sure what was going on with Adam, but I decided I wanted to find out. “Ok,” I said. “C’mon upstairs and let’s see what we got.”

It would be difficult to describe what I was feeling at that moment. To me in my eight year old mind, it had never been right that a boy could only wear boys’ clothes, while a girl could wear pretty well whatever she wanted. Oh, I knew that it was a society no-no for a boy to dress in drag. Oh, how well I knew that! But in the privacy of one’s home, I saw no harm. But to find a boy who WANTED to wear a dress, I knew, was practically unheard of. Or was it? How many boys were there, I had often wondered, who would love it if they found themselves in the same situation I was in last summer? So now that I had found a boy my own age who wanted to try some of my clothes, it wasn’t a sexual thing in any way; but it was as natural to me as sitting down to pee.

Adam’s eyes really bugged out when he saw my closet. “WOW!” he exclaimed. “You got more clothes than I ever saw in one place.”
“You should see my cousin Gail’s closet,” I answered. I did have a nice wardrobe, thanks to Amanda’s hand-me-down’s, what Mom and I had bought, and what Gail had given me, but it was still a somewhat limited wardrobe in my opinion. Nonetheless I was pretty confident that we could find something that Adam would like.

“I got an idea,” I said. “Josh and I are going as Jack and Jill, Gail is going as Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, and Amanda is gonna dress as Mother Goose. Why don’t you come with us and dress as Little Bo Peep?”
“Cool!” Adam said. “But what does Little Bo Peep look like?”
“Let me show you,” I said as I started to get excited. I rummaged through my closet until I had found what I was looking for: a pretty light blue party dress with a full skirt, lots of lace trim all over it, and a big white ribbon in the back. Now Adam’s eyes were really bugged! His T-shirt was peeled over his head in two seconds flat, and his jeans were descending to the floor.

“Do you want me to leave while you change?” I offered.
“It’s ok,” he said excitedly. “I’ve got my underwear on.”
“But I thought you’d rather wear these,” I suggested as I held up a pair of cotton panties.
“Really? Can I?”
“If you want. But you go in the bathroom and put them on while I get out a petticoat.”

Adam did. I heard him using the toilet, then he was back in seconds. I gave him a white cotton petticoat to wear, then I helped him pull the dress over his head and zipped up the back and tied the bow. To both our astonishment, Adam the boy was gone. “You’re cute!” I said as I fixed his hair and put a hair band on him. His hair wasn’t really long enough for it, but I put it on anyway. Adam went to the mirror and examined himself front and back, then twirled around, walked around the room, all the time saying over and over “Awesome! This is so cool!”

“You can wear it all day if you like,” I offered. “You gotta be careful though ‘cause that’s one of my best dresses.”
“I’ll be careful,” he answered. I love it! You sure are lucky, wearin’ this stuff all the time.”
“That mean you wanna be a girl too?” I asked.
“Naw, but sometimes when I see you I wish I could dress like you. I mean, I can tell how much you love bein’ pretty, and all I ever get to wear is grungy old jeans and T-shirt.”
“That’s what I thought too,” I answered. “But Josh wears some pretty nice boys’ clothes.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same. They’re always just pants and shirts. I wouldn’t want to dress like this all the time, but once in a while...”

After we had lunch, it was still raining hard so we decided to skip the movie. Adam declared that there really wasn’t anything showing he wanted to see anyway, and he’d have to take the dress off, which he really didn’t want to do. So we rattled around the house all afternoon. I gave him a pair of white knee socks with blue trim to wear, and he put on a pair of my slippers. He was really in Heaven.

When Mom came home at 5, Adam went into a panic. “I gotta get changed,” he said as he headed for the stairs.
“Relax,” I told him. “She won’t mind. We’re just trying on your Hallowe’en costume.” I had to almost tie him down to keep him from running up and changing, but minutes later the back door opened and it was too late.

“Hi, honey!” Mom said cheerfully as she came in. “How was the movie?”
“Hi, Mom,” I answered. “We didn’t go. It was raining too hard, and Adam wanted to get his Hallowe’en costume ready.”
“Adam?” Mom said as she eyed a very little girlish looking Adam. “What have you two been up to?”
“He’s goin’ with us as Little Bo Peep,” I told her as Adam’s face got redder and redder.
“Really!” Mom said. “He looks a lot more like Little Christine Elliot to me. Christine, I knew I shouldn’t have left you two here alone all day. I’ll just bet your mom doesn’t know anything about this, does she Adam?”
“N-no, Ma’am,” he replied sheepishly.
“Come here and let me unzip you, and then I want you to go upstairs and change.”
“But Mom,” I protested.
“Go along, Adam. If you need any help, call down the stairs, ok? I have to talk to Christine.”

“Mom, you don’t understand,” I offered when Adam had gone.
“I understand a lot more than you do, Christine,” she said. “You could get us all in a lot of trouble. You simply can’t do things like that!”
“Mom, if you’d just let me explain...”
“I’d love to hear your explanation. But first I want you to hear mine. In these days of child abuse and everyone accusing everyone else of all sorts of terrible things, you simply don’t take someone else’s child and undress him. And you certainly don’t put a dress on someone else’s little boy. It is simply not done!”
“But Mom, He wanted to. He WANTED to try wearing a dress. So I got the idea of dressing him for Hallowe’en.”
“I see nothing wrong with Adam wearing a dress, dear,” she said as Adam reappeared in his own clothes. “But whether or not he does so is NOT our decision. And the thoughts of you and him running around here with your clothes off...”
“I never took my clothes off, Mom. And Adam went into the bathroom to put my panties on...”
“He was wearing your panties too?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Elliot,” Adam said as he fought the tears. “It was all my fault. It was my idea. We didn’t mean any harm...”
“You didn’t do any harm, Adam,” Mom said as she hugged the both of us. “What you did was innocent and completely harmless. But you have to understand that you’re not my child, and whether or not you wear a dress is a decision your mother has to make. If she says ok, you can parade around here all you like in a dress. But it has to be HER decision.”
“My mom would kill me if she ever found out,” Adam said.
“I doubt that she’s going to kill you, Adam. But I’m afraid she’s gonna have to find out. I’ll have to tell her when I take you home. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it’s got to be.”
“I’ll never be able to go anywhere with Christine ever again,” he said as he started to sob again.
“Don’t be too sure,” Mom said as she stroked his head. “Your mother doesn’t seem that way to me. What time will she get home anyway?”
“I’m not sure,” Adam sniffled. “Sometimes when she gets called in she’s quite late.”

As if on cue, the phone rang. “Oh, yes, Mrs. Williams,” Mom said after she’d answered. “I was just wondering what time you’d get home.”
There was a pause, then she said “Yes, he’s here. Actually there’s something we need to talk about...”
A pause... “No, they’re fine. They got into a little mischief... nothing serious but I thought it’d be better if you got the story from me. I can bring him home now if you like, or... well, why don’t you come to dinner? We can talk about it while I get it ready. We’re having the Reynolds over too, and I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”
Another pause... “Great! We’ll see you in about fifteen minutes then. Bye.”

Adam shuddered. “Fifteen minutes left to live,” he muttered.
“It’s gonna be alright,” Mom assured him. But at that particular moment things certainly didn’t seem all right to Adam.
“The Reynolds are coming over tonight?” I questioned. “I didn’t know that.”
“I know, dear,” Mom said. “I was talking to Karen today and invited her over. They’ll be here as soon as Josh gets home from his tournament.” More to Adam’s dismay, it was a lot less than fifteen minutes when the doorbell rang. Mrs. Williams was obviously worried about precisely what we’d been up to.

“Do you want to tell her, Adam? Or would you rather I did?” Mom said when we were all seated in the living room.
“I’ll tell her,” Adam said. “Mom, you remember how I was wondering what kinda costume to wear for Hallowe’en? Well, Christine and I talked about it and we found something. But Mrs. Elliot said we shouldn’t have until I asked you.”
“Adam,” Mom interrupted, “why don’t you just spit it out? And I mean the whole thing.”
“I’m gettin’ to it,” he said as his face flushed.
“Summer vacation is coming too,” Mrs. Williams said. “Just what have you done, Adam?”

Adam looked at my mom with a pleading look on his face. Mom took the cue and let it out. “I don’t think it’s serious,” she said. “It’s just one of those things that I would not have allowed without your knowing, if I had known. I was needed at my husband’s store, so the children ended up home alone all day. When I came home Adam was wearing one of Christine’s dresses. They had cooked up a plan for him to dress as Little Bo Peep on Hallowe’en. Our children and the Reynolds are all going out as nursery rhyme characters.”
“That’s it?” Mrs. Williams said. “That’s why Adam looks as if he’s committed murder?”
“Not exactly,” Mom answered. “It seems that Adam has been wanting to try wearing a dress. The Hallowe’en thing was just an excuse. Evidently he was in a dress all day today. It was raining so they decided to stay here instead of going to the movie. I’m sorry, Mrs. Williams. As I said, I never would have allowed it if I had known.”

“Please call me Jen,” Mrs. Williams said. “And don’t worry about the children’s little scheme. I knew it would happen sooner or later.”
“You’re not mad?” Adam said with an astonished look on his face. “You knew? How did you know? I never told anyone till today.”
“I’m your mother, Adam. It’s my job to know these things. I’ve seen how you looked at girls’ clothing in the stores. I’ve seen how you admired Christine. But the question is, what do we do now? Are we about to go through what I’m sure the Elliot’s have gone through with Christine? Do you think you’re a girl, or do you want to be one?”
“No, Mom!” Adam said emphatically. “I’m a boy. I love bein’ a boy! I just thought it would be cool to wear some of the pretty clothes Christine is always wearing. I don’t think it’s fair that boys can’t wear whatever they want, same as girls.”
“It’s not quite that simple, honey,” she said. “But if you want to wear a dress from time to time, I see no problems in that. I just wish you’d told me. We could have avoided this whole scene.”

Adam’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “You mean it?” he practically screamed. “I can wear dresses?”
“At home, if it’ll make you happy, of course you can.”
“Now? Can I put on one of Christine’s dresses now? Please?”
“I dunno, Adam. That’s kinda stretching the point a little. Perhaps you should ask Christine and her mother.”
We both shrugged and said we had no problem with it. So Mrs. Williams nodded and Adam literally flew up the stairs. I followed to help him zip up, and five minutes later a very happy, slightly embarrassed little boy in one of my prettiest dresses presented himself to our mothers.

“This is gonna take a little getting used to,” Mrs. Williams said with a shocked look on her face. “Honey, you look fantastic! Christine, you’ve transformed my son into a pretty little girl.”
“I don’t wanna be a little girl,” Adam repeated stubbornly. “I just wanna be able to wear a dress when I want to.”
“You’ve got it,” his mother said. “I wish I could see your father’s face now.”

“I don’t ever want to see my father’s face!” he answered vehemently.
“Adam, not now.”
“Fine with me. You sure you don’t mind, Mom?”
“Mind? Why should I mind?”
“Many parents would,” my Mom pointed out.
“He’s a happy and healthy little boy, Susan. He never gives me any trouble, and he’s always obedient without question. If wearing a dress now and then will keep him happy, who am I to question it?”

We had a little explaining to do when Dad got home. He seemed to have something of a problem with a little girl called Adam. But once he understood he accepted the situation without a problem. Actually it made me a little jealous: that he could accept Adam in a dress but not me, and my dress at that. “But I told you before, Peanut,” he said, “I have no problem with you wanting to dress up like a girl. But that’s not all that you want, is it?”
“No, sir,” I answered. “But it’s not what I WANT, Daddy. It’s what I AM!”

We had barely sat down to eat when the doorbell rang again. It was the Reynolds, a little earlier than we’d expected. “We’ll all have to squeeze a little closer,” Mom instructed. “There’s lots to eat, but we’re a little short on room.” Then to add to the confusion Aunt Julia and Gail arrived. “We’ll go home and come back after y’all have eaten,” Aunt Julia offered.
“You’ll do no such thing,” Mom said sternly. “Why don’t we put the children in the living room in front of the TV with TV tables? That way there’ll be lots of room.” Well, what can I say? That was my mom. It didn’t matter a flip how many people she was feeding, there was always room for more. That’s one of the happier memories I have of my childhood: always lots of people around, and they were always well fed and made to feel welcome.

All the while people were arriving, Adam was sitting very quietly in his dress (well, MY dress), trying to make himself smaller each time someone arrived. After we were all situated in front of our TV tables, I did the honors and explained why Adam was dressed the way he was. For purposes of this evening’s activities, Amanda was considered “one of the children” and delegated to a TV table, much to her chagrin.

Everyone took Adam’s dilemma rather well, I thought; but the one who impressed me the most was Josh. “I gotta hand it to ya, Adam,” he said. “I’ve often thought about doing that, but I could never do it in front of all these people. If I ever do it, which I doubt, no one will ever know.”
“Don’t be too sure,” I said.
“Whadda ya mean by that?” Josh demanded.
“Oh, nuthin,’ I answered. “You just never know what might happen some time in the future.”

After dinner we all congregated in the living room. There wasn’t seating for everyone, so we kids were assigned whatever space we could find on the floor. “Where’s Uncle Dan?” I asked.
“Working,” Aunt Julia said. There was something in the tone of her voice that just didn’t ring right. How come he was working but my dad had arrived home early? Was there something going on I didn’t know about? I knew there was no point in pressing the matter, especially with all these people here, so I let it go.

“Please excuse my ignorance,” Mrs. Williams said. “As I was saying while we were eating, y’all seem like such serious, responsible parents, but yet you allow Josh and Christine to openly claim that they are... well... what we used to call going steady. Don’t you think they’re a little young?”
“No,” Dr. Reynolds answered. “We thing they’re A LOT young. But I guess they’ve managed to convince us that they know what they’re doing.”
“Even under their... er... ‘unusual’ circumstances?”
“Perhaps because of them,” Mrs. Reynolds suggested. “I can’t explain it, and I doubt that anyone here can. It’s best to let the kids explain it for themselves. Christine, Josh, would y’all please dance for us? I think that’ll settle any questions Jen might have.”

If there was one thing that Josh and I could not refuse, it was an offer to dance. I hadn’t been taking interpretive dancing very long, but with Josh’s expert leadership and both of our commitment to enjoy our every chance to dance, we had become a couple to be reckoned with. Of course the whole idea of interpretive dancing was very similar to a modernized ballet: consider the music, listen to the words, and then act out the situation in some way while we were dancing. We both loved it! It was rapidly becoming our method of communication, both to each other and to anyone else who cared to watch. So we agreed readily to Josh’s mother’s request.

After we were all settled in the spacious family room where Josh and Amanda, Gail and I had spent countless hours dancing, Mom and Mrs. Reynolds fumbled with some CD’s from our dance classes, and chose a song. It only took Josh and me two chords to recognize what was coming: our very favorite tune to dance to. It was a country song, sung by George Jones. As the music started, we started to dance. Both of us sang along, raising the volume of our voices just a little on the chorus.

I used to spend my night times in a bar room.
Liquor was the only love I’d known.
But you rescued me from reaching... for the bottom,
And you brought me back from being too far gone.

You’re as smoo—ooth as Tennessee whiskey,
You’re as swee–eet as strawberry whine.
You’re as wa-arm as a glass of brandy,
And I stay stoned on your love all the time.

I looked for love in all the same old places.
Found the bottom of the bottle always dry.
But when you poured out your heart, I didn’t waste it.
“You’ve got the kind of love that always keeps me high.

You’re as smoo-ooth as Tennessee whiskey,
You’re as swee-eet as strawberry whine.
You’re as wa-arm as a glass of brandy,
and I stay stoned on your love all the time.

When the song was over, when we finished dancing and tore ourselves away from each other, we both had tears in our eyes. We couldn’t help it! We danced the entire song on some plane that was somewhere between the earth and the moon, and we never took our eyes off each other. As many times as we danced that number, and it was very often, I could not tell you to this day what moves we made. I have never been able to remember two seconds after precisely what we did, only that we were moved deeply. And so, it seems, was everyone watching.

“My God!” Mrs. Williams exclaimed. “I see what you mean. I haven’t seen such obvious commitment between two people in couples three times their age. That is totally incredible!”
“We saw that the very first time they danced,” Mrs. Reynolds told her. “It was as if some major piece of a puzzle had just been put in place. So to answer your question, none of us can think of a single reason why we should keep them apart. So our very young children are... well, going steady. Or as they say these days, going together!”

“Why are we doing all this talking?” I demanded. “I thought we came down here to dance.”
“That we did, Peanut,” Dad said as he put another CD on. “And if it’s all right with you, I think I’m gonna dance with your mother.”

The CD my dad chose was one that had been made by the dance club. It was made up mostly of light country and 50's love songs. The first was another of Josh’s and my favorites: Alabama singing “If I Had You.”

If I had you,
We’d run like Gypsies through the wind
We’d be lovers, we’d be friends
If I had you.

If I had you,
We’d count the stars all one by one
We’d make love till they were gone,
If I had you.

Cause you light a fire
Way down in my soul.
The flame keeps growing stronger,
There ain’t no control.
And there’s nothing, no there’s nothing
No there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do....
If I had you...

As the song played on, Josh and I were lost in the words. We danced out the words and the spirit of the song, and I was the happiest little girl in the universe. “I swear,” Mrs. Williams exclaimed when the dance was done, “I have never in my life seen anything so beautiful. But how do you remember all those moves?”
“We don’t,” Josh answered. “The whole purpose of interpretive dancing is to dance what you feel. Every time we do a dance, it’s different.”

“What’s so remarkable about those two is how they are always in sync,” Mrs. Reynolds added. “Every move one makes, the other understands and reacts. Their teachers have told us that some dancers work a whole lifetime to achieve what they do naturally. That’s why it came as no surprise at all when they told us that they were... well... a very junior version of what we call lovers. Their teacher says they were born to dance together. I think they were simply born to BE together.”
“But you, Mr. Elliot. Christine has told me that you still haven’t really accepted that she is a girl.”
“No, I haven’t,” my dad agreed. “I still haven’t figured it all out, but there’s no denying the love I see between those two. They have something between them that most of us only read about. Chris has gone through some pretty difficult times thanks to her or his... er... her problem. But she is as strong as tempered steel. She knows that the course she is on will lead her to many more problems, but she has no fear at all! She knows she is not alone. They share the good and the bad with no complaints, no regrets. That’s another trait that many of us never learn.

“Before those two met, we had one very depressed little boy on our hands. Everyone has tried to tell me that got solved when he discovered that he should have been a girl. I’m not so sure. I believe that at least part of the solution came from Josh, and what those two do for each other.”

During the evening we talked about many things. Mom told Mrs. Williams about our own “home church” concept, because I had been basically kicked out of the church we’d always attended. Mrs. Williams told us that she had always wanted to get Adam into a church and Sunday School program, but with her work schedule she’d never been able to follow through. We invited them both to our church services right in this family room, and they accepted readily. When we told them we always dress up, just as if we were going to a regular church, Adam said he really didn’t have any good clothes. “That’s ok,” Mom said, “it’s not necessary. We just like to dress up, and so do the children.”
“Why don’t you wear that dress?” I suggested.
“Really?” Adam said. “Could I?”
“I don’t see why not,” Mom said. “If you enjoy wearing it, you feel good in it and like the way you look, then what better place to wear it than into the presence of God?”

So the following morning, and many Sunday’s after, Adam Williams came to our church services dressed very prettily as a little girl. Once or twice a week as a girl was enough for him. For a few months he wore various articles of girls’ clothing around the house most of the time, but eventually he grew tired of it and reverted to his male attire. In a way I envied him. With Adam it was a choice; he did exactly what my father predicted that I would do: he had a curiosity that needed satisfying. Once satisfied, he reverted to being a boy and that was the end of it. Like Josh, Adam was a ‘different’ kind of boy. He was sensitive and kind, affectionate and emotional; but his self esteem had never let these traits bother him. They were assets and he knew it. Adam said that he would probably always want to cross dress once in a while, but there was never any question about his gender; in that sense he and I were as different as night and day.

To be continued...