It was Andrew. Apparently he’d come looking for me. “What’s going on?” he said. As I turned, he apparently saw my hard dick. As far as I know, he’d never seen it before, hard or soft. I always kept it covered around the brothers.

He threw up. Puke spewed from his mouth before he could turn away. “Let me get my clothes,” I said, pulling from the father’s grip.

He grabbed for me, but, dazed, I think, by the night’s events, was too slow. I ran for the stage, where my clothes were.

I slipped my pants on over my still hard dick. By rights, it should have been soft after my run, but I kept thinking, he saw it. Andrew saw my dick.

OK, Ok, so seeing it caused him to throw up, but it turned me on that he’d seen it. I’d got off on fucking Jez, but it was Andrew I really wanted. I was in love with the little fucker. Given the choice between fucking him and fucking Jez, I’d choose him every time.

He wasn’t really that little. Although I didn’t know his age, it was probably close to mine. Since the brothers were nullified at birth, it was pretty hard to tell how old they were. Yeah, he had a small triangle of brown pubic hair, but it wasn’t splashed across his groin like mine – or like Eric’s.

Eric, even though he looked like he was trying to grow tits and his hips had filled out, didn’t look like Andrew and the rest of the brothers. He had a little bit of an Adam’s apple and had obviously once been a boy. You looked at him and saw castrated boy.

You looked at Andrew and saw angel.

And I wanted to fuck him. I guess I did need neutering. “I…I got my pants on, Andrew,” I said.

Still bent over, he shielded his eyes with one hand. Tentatively, he slid his hand aside, peeking in my direction.

“Sorry,” I added.

Glancing down, seeing the bulge in my pants caused by my hard dick, I covered it with my hand.

He shook his head. “Not your fault. I knew you had one. I just didn’t realize they were so horrible. I don’t know why Joshua makes you keep it.”

He was talking about my dick, of course. He’d seen boys with balls; some boys in the Gillis faction still had them; but I guess mine was the first dick he’d ever seen.

Before I hit puberty I’d seen videos and pictures on the Internet showing guys with hard dicks, guys fucking girls, and guys fucking guys,; but the Nutters never went to such sites. They were blocked on any computer to which a Nutter kid had access.

Seeing my dick had caused Andrew to throw up, but he had seen it; and it was the first dick he’d ever seen. Knowing that turned me on.

“What’s going on?” Andrew asked. He glanced from me to the others, seeming to notice for the first time that Jez was naked, too. She had tits; yet she was naked.

At least, he didn’t throw up again.

“He raped me,” Jez said, pointed to me.

“No, I didn’t,” I replied. “She seduced me.”

Andrew knitted his brows as if puzzled. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” Then, his expression changed, from puzzlement to shock, I interpreted. He looked at me, that look of shock on his face. “Did you try to make a baby with her?”

Now, it was my turn to be shocked. “No! I wasn’t trying to make a baby. I just…” I didn’t know how to continue.

“He screwed me; he fucked me; he forced himself on me,” said Jez.

“No, I didn’t,” I said, although I had done the first. I just hadn’t forced myself on her.

Hell, the better I got to know Jez, the more I doubted that any guy had ever had to force himself on her; she’d fucked her brother, for Christ’s sake. No telling how many guys she’d screwed. My dick drooped. I hoped I wasn’t going to catch anything from her.

“We had sex,” I explained. If Andrew didn’t understand “rape” and “seduce,” it was unlikely he would understand slang such as “screw” and “fuck.”

“Like animals?” Andrew asked, wonder or some such emotion evident in his voice.

“Well,” I said, “not like animals exactly – like people – like what Gillis probably did with your mother.”

I shouldn’t have said it. Color drained from his face. I thought he was going to puke again, but making a face, he overcame the urge. “You were trying to make a baby.”

It didn’t sound like a question, but I answered as if it were. “No, we were doing it just for…”

I didn’t know how to continue. I had been about to say “for the fun of it,” but no way would he understand

His balls had been cut off when he was a baby. He’d never had a sexual urge in his life. He probably thought the only reason Gillis fucked was to have babies. As young as I was, I knew sex was about hormones and power.

Having my dick inside Jez – shooting my wad into her – had given me a sense of power. I wasn’t sure I could explain it – even to myself – but it had given me a feeling of power. I fucked her. I deposited my seed inside her – even if having a baby was the last thing I wanted. I was glad, at the time, we weren’t using a rubber; and I was glad, now, we hadn’t. My jism, my spunk, my seed, was inside her.

Fuck! What if she did have a baby – my baby?

“It feels good,” I said, trying to continue the thought in a way he’d understand. When you still have your stuff“ - I didn’t want to say something that would make him puke again - “it feels good to have sex.”

He looked a Jez. “It feels good to you, too?”

“No,” she said, “he forced me. I didn’t want him to do it.”

“She liked it,” I said. “She had an orgasm.”

“A what?” he asked.

Oh, shit! How was I going to explain an orgasm to a kid that had never had a sexual thought or a sexual urge in his life? I was digging myself a deeper hole with every word. Since that first day with Joshua – until I met Jez – I hadn’t talked about sex with anyone.

I can’t remember a time I didn’t know about sex. I don’t remember a time I wasn’t rubbing on my cock. I was having orgasms – dry ones – before I ever hit puberty; and if anything, I think more about sex than before.

Hell, I live with a bunch of beautiful, naked, eunuchs, and the only time I get to jack off is after everyone else is asleep.

Joshua knew about sex; he’d even jacked me off that first day; but he’d done it out of curiosity not out of lust. Joshua, too, had been nullified as a baby. Although he was curious about sex, I’m sure he never had a sexual urge.

He was special. Joshua wanted to know about everything; but maybe he already did; maybe – just maybe – he was God. He was certainly godlike.

“It’s something that happens when you have sex,” I said, trying to explain myself to Andrew. “Guys have one when they shoot – cum – ejaculate.” I was trying – without much success – to explain sex to someone that never had a sexual thought or seen a sexual act.

From what I understand, the Nutters don’t even allow their dogs to keep their balls. If they want pups, they take their bitches in to be bred. Livestock breeding, of course, is done through artificial insemination.

“The stuff that makes babies shoots out of your dick.” I stopped. Once again, color was draining from his face. “Uh…uh…anyway, it feels real good; and the girl - she sometimes has an orgasm, too, even though she don’t shoot nothing. Jez had one. If I had raped her, I don’t think she would have one.” I looked up at her father. As we had talked, Andrew and I had walked over to where they were. He looked away.

“I remember you,” Andrew said to Jez. You had clothes on at the meeting. You haven’t been nullified. “Why hasn’t she been nullified,” he asked the father.

“She didn’t want it,” he answered. “I was going to have it done, but it just didn’t seem to be worth the fight I’d have with her over it, when all the guys around have been nullified. I had her brothers nullified right after we joined. Eric didn’t want to be, but I had him done, anyway.”

“I knew you didn’t want it,” I said to Eric. “You wanted to cut off my dick and balls because you were jealous.”

“What’s this about?” Andrew asked. He was a kid no older than me, but everyone – even me and Jez’s dad – deferred to him.

“They wanted to nullify me.” I pointed to Jez and Eric in turn.

“I didn’t want to,” said Davy in his high, little boy’s, voice. “He’s protected. Joshua said he was.”

“Yes, he is,” said Andrew. “I don’t know why Joshua doesn’t want him nullified, but he doesn’t, and it’s not for me – or for any of you – to question why. Why did they want to nullify you?” Andrew asked.

“Because he raped me,” Jez repeated.

I started to deny raping her again, but from the confused look on Andrew’s face, I could see he still didn’t understand. “Let’s go talk to Joshua,” I said.

Joshua would know, and I thought he would believe me. He might be pissed at me for having sex with Jez, but that would be better than being an accused rapist. Besides, if Eric repeated what he said about Jez having sex with him, there shouldn’t be any doubt about who seduced whom.

It still might result in my nullification, but I’d already kept my dick and balls longer than I expected to keep them. My dad had been nullified a couple of weeks ago. Without Joshua’s help, I would have been, too.

“You go get Joshua,” Andrew told me. “We’ll wait.”

“No!” said Jez. “Joshua is his friend. He’ll believe him.” She looked at her dad. “Let’s just go.”

I hesitated. I was willing to let it go. I wasn’t particularly eager to tell Joshua I’d fucked her. Andrew was confused about the whole deal. Maybe he wouldn’t tell Joshua either.

Andrew shook his head. “No, we’ll wait for Joshua. He’ll know what to do. Go get him,” he told me.

Reluctantly, I went to get Joshua.