Matthew supposed there was a good chance he would see McCady, but he didn’t care. He carried Lukas, going down the main stairs and working his way to the back hall through the offices, so that he didn’t have to go through the kitchen.

Mr Sorensen was in the city. He had a meeting with his publishers and had gone out after breakfast, which was why today was such a good day, such a perfect day to do it.

Lukas had his thumb in his mouth. Still.

All the way along the gallery. All the way down the main stairs. Through the back offices.

And he hadn’t said a word since he had put it there.

He was loose in Matthew’s arms. Loose, as though he had no control, no power to make decisions over his own fate.

It was for his own good. If he really wanted Matthew to love him, if he loved Matthew that much, then it had to happen. It wasn’t like Matthew could stop now. It had been Lukas’ idea to begin with. If Matthew hadn’t ever heard Lukas talking about it, then he never would have started on the whole thing. Lukas wanted it. He had said that to Dr Mueller. Matthew knew that. And he knew that Lukas was happy about his balls. He was making a big fuss about nothing.

He wanted it done.

Matthew carried him down the cellar stairs in darkness. McCady hadn’t replaced the bulb, he noticed, though he didn’t suppose she came down here a lot. She probably hadn’t seen it.

At the bottom of the stairs, Matthew had to struggle to find the light switch, pressing Lukas up against the wall and feeling with the hand he had under Lukas’ legs. It was like he was carrying a sack. Lukas was limp. He found the switch, and clicked it. The lights came on, and he looked at Lukas’ face. He was so beautiful. He had his eyes closed. Just like a little boy, with his thumb in his mouth, and his blond hair all rumpled.

Matthew kissed him on the brow, and saw Lukas try not to smile.

Matthew carried him through the wine racks, wishing that he could turn and go the other way, wishing that Lukas would go upstairs and get the key to the museum.

‘Hey,’ he said, whispering into Lukas’ ear, ‘you don’t want to go upstairs and get the key to the museum do you?’

Lukas didn’t answer.

‘Your dad won’t be back for hours. We could do it in there.’

Matthew thought of the crocodile shears, thought how good that would be, thought how he could put Lukas’ little cock in the crocodile’s mouth and close it, spearing it with needles. Lukas would probably smile. He would get a surprise. It would probably feel good. His cock was hard. He was pumped up on the tablets. And seeing he was going to get cut anyway. It wasn’t like it would matter. It would be good to do something to it first.

He whispered into Lukas’ ear again.

‘I reckon you should go upstairs and get the key to museum. I’d like to do it in there.’

Lukas smiled again, like he was half asleep, like he liked the tickle of Matthew’s voice in his ear. But it was hopeless. He wasn’t moving. He wasn’t going to do anything.

Matthew felt like dropping him, like smashing his head onto the cement floor, but he kept walking, and forced his lips together, resolved to do it now, resolved to cut Lukas’ cock off and make it bad for him too.

When he reached the workroom door, he struggled with the handle for a minute or more before he realised that it was locked.

‘Fuck!’ he said.

He would have to go upstairs and get Lukas’ keys.

He put Lukas onto the floor, sitting him next to the door. And then he turned and walked back through the cellar and up the hall stairs.

In the kitchen, he met McCady. He should have gone the other way.

‘Where’s Lukas?’ she said.

‘I’m not sure. I thought he was downstairs, but he’s not.’

She nodded. She was making a cake. Another one of her endless seeds by the look of it.

Upstairs, Matthew found the keys. And then he walked up the main stairs, to the attic floor, and wound his way through the rooms until he found the stairs to the back hall. Going this way, he wouldn’t have to see McCady again. He could go straight down to the cellar. It was raining again, and on the attic floor, the rain was pounding on the roof, making a deafening sound, and coating all the windows in sheets of water, which cast watery reflections into the empty rooms. He walked down the stairs, and when he reached the cellar, Lukas was sitting as he had left him, with his knees drawn up to his chest, and his thumb in his mouth.

‘You wouldn’t still be sitting there, if you didn’t want it to happen.’

Lukas said nothing.

Matthew unlocked the door and walked into the room.

A moment later, he was clapped on the back.

‘Hey, Mattster,’ Lukas said. He walked into the room with his hands on his hips and turned to face Matthew. He grabbed his groin. ‘Are you gonna peel him back for me?’ Lukas said, holding his groin with one hand and thrusting it toward Matthew.

Matthew frowned. ‘What are you doing him for?’ Matthew said. It was so obviously an impersonation of Dale, who had always been saying that Matthew was gay, and wanting him to “peel him back”.

Lukas lost his balance. He fell sideways, and landed on the floor.

‘Hey,’ Matthew said, leaning forward and taking hold of Lukas’ shoulders. ‘Are you okay?’

Lukas nodded.

Matthew picked him up and put him in a chair.

He had been thinking that he would do it in the music room, because it was soundproof, and Lukas was bound to scream, but it would make such a mess. It would be probably better, he now thought, looking around him, to do it in here. There was going to be blood.

Matthew knelt down in front of Lukas and unstrapped his sandals. He looked up at Lukas, who had his thumb in his mouth again, and he ruffled his hair.

‘Are you okay?’

Lukas nodded, wide eyed.

‘There’s lots of people here,’ he said, sounding just like a little boy, in wonderment, ‘and they all want to know what it’s like to get your cock cut off.’

‘Are you happy about it?’

Lukas nodded.

‘Here. Let me take your T-shirt off.’

Matthew peeled his T-shirt off, and Lukas took his thumb out of his mouth, momentarily, as the T-shirt slipped over his arm, though he put it back in there again.

Matthew smiled at him.

‘You’re going to have to stand up now,’ he said. He lifted Lukas under the arms, and wrapped Lukas’ arms around his neck while he reached down and unbuttoned Lukas’ jeans.

‘Matty?’

‘What?’

‘I really love you,’ Lukas said, as Matthew unzipped his fly.

Matthew put his hands inside Lukas’ jeans and cupped his bare arse as the jeans fell off him, falling to his thighs.

‘Yeah. I really like you too, Lukey.’

Lukas nodded, and Matthew eased him back into the chair, noticing how hard Lukas’ cock was as he squatted down and pulled Lukas’ jeans off.

‘It won’t be so bad, will it?’ Lukas said.

‘You’ll like it.’

Matthew supposed he ought to fold Lukas’ jeans, the way Lukas did, and so he folded them, and folded the T-shirt too. He put them on top of Lukas’ sandals, and took them into the music room. He put them on a chair, and then he came back again.

Lukas had his eyes closed. His thumb in his mouth. And his cock was erect, with a bead of precum sitting on the end of it.

Matthew would suck it, like he had said to Lukas he would, but he was only going to do it once.

‘He’s gonna cut this mother fucker off me,’ Lukas suddenly said, taking his thumb out of his mouth, and jerking himself awake. He grabbed hold of his cock, and held it like a handle. ‘Fuck it’s a small cock!’

Matthew frowned at him. ‘Lukas.’

‘What?’

Lukas turned to face him, a little dazed.

Matthew might have gone too far, he realised, given Lukas too many of the tablets, and too much Capanol. He was totally out of it.

Still, though, at least he would enjoy himself.

Matthew smiled at him.

‘You need to do the splits again.’

‘Yeah?’

Matthew nodded.

Lukas tried to get up, but he couldn’t manage it. He turned his head down, and stared at his cock.

‘Oh, I’m gonna come!’ he said, in sudden surprise.

Matthew frowned, and looked at Lukas’ cock.

Lukas blew a load, what looked like a whole cupful of clear, silky liquid. It jetted out of Lukas’ cock and hit him in the face. A second jet arced up and landed on his chest. A third jet, a normal amount, arced up and landed on Lukas’ hairless groin.

Lukas shook his head, shaking liquid off his face, like he’d just been hit with a water pistol.

Fuck, Matthew thought to himself, the tablets really fucked Lukas. It was like when he had had his nuts crushed in the vice, and had come so many times in a row, coming like a fountain, though now he was pumping like a water pistol.

Matthew found the sponge that he had used to wipe Lukas last time. He wiped Lukas’ face and chest and all around his groin. All Lukas had done was wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, but there was stuff all over him.

‘I think it’s going to happen again,’ Lukas said, as Matthew was wiping his groin.

‘Well you can’t let it. Okay. You’ve got to stop yourself.’

Lukas nodded, looking like a little boy who had just wet himself accidentally, and was in trouble about it.

Matthew put the sponge away.

‘Here,’ he said, pulling Lukas up. ‘Splits.’

Matthew held onto Lukas’ arms, and lowered him, while Lukas worked himself onto the ground. He was unsteady, but he managed it. The last time he had done the splits in the workroom, he had had a sack of mush to sit on. Now he had no balls, and a cock that wouldn’t go down, a cock that was over-excited when it shouldn’t be.

Within three of four minutes, Lukas was on the floor, his legs in the splits position, his stomach, head, chest, and cock all flat on the ground in front of his legs.

Matthew left him there for a while, staring at the way Lukas’ arse looked from above. Man, he was so perfect. His arse perfectly firm, the deep curve in his back, the space between his shoulder blades, the curve of his shoulders and arms and his thighs. Even his feet, stretched out sideways, were perfect.

‘Here,’ Matthew said, lifting his arms. ‘Are you okay?’

Lukas nodded.

He was covered in dust. The insides of his thighs, the underside of his cock, his chest, his stomach, his forehead, all of it covered in clay dust, and as he lifted him, Matthew noticed, on the ground, underneath where Lukas had been lying, right where the head of his cock had been, the left-over bit of Lukas’ sack that Matthew had forgotten about, still on the floor, like it was nothing. The head of Lukas’ cock had been pressed into it.

Man, Lukas just couldn’t win.

Matthew smiled, and laughed a little, seeing it. That was pretty funny. That bit of sack being there, and meeting Lukas’ cock again, when they hadn’t seen each other for a while.

Matthew lifted Lukas up and put him on the bench. The G-clamps and the blocks of clay were exactly where he had left them.

‘You’re really gonna do it, aren’t you Mattster?’ Lukas suddenly said, aping Dale again. And then answered himself in a different voice. ‘Oh, yeah, he’s gonna do it.’

Matthew lifted Lukas’ left leg and locked it over the G-clamp, and then he lifted the right.

Matthew put his hand into his jeans and found his cock. He hadn’t put the tight jeans on, and it was easy to angle it up. He pulled it a couple of times, looking at Lukas’ in the splits position on the edge of the bench, with his hard little cock all ready to go again, with a bead of precum on it.

He put his head beside Lukas’, and whispered in his ear.

‘Are you ready?’

Lukas put his hands around Matthew’s neck. He nodded.

‘You really do want this, don’t you Lukey?’

Lukas nodded again, and Matthew smiled. He put his arms around him and held him tight.

When he pulled away, Lukas looked at him like he had never seen him before in his life.

‘You can lean back a bit today,’ Matthew said.

Lukas frowned. He looked confused.

‘You want me to suck your cock don’t you?’

Lukas nodded, his hands on Matthew’s neck.

‘Here,’ Matthew said. He unwound Lukas’ hand from his neck, and pushed him back a little, so he was leaning backward on the blocks of clay, his arse right on the edge of the bench.

Matthew moved sideways a little, and looked in the ice-cream container, where he knew there was another scalpel, a new one, still in its packet. He bent forward, beside Lukas, where Lukas couldn’t see him, and he opened it. He passed it back behind Lukas, so it was in his right hand, and then he held Lukas’ cock with his left hand.

‘You want me to suck you off?’

Lukas nodded, but he looked confused again, like he didn’t know where he was, or what was happening.

‘Matty?’ he suddenly said, as Matthew leaned forward.

Matthew stopped. ‘What?’

‘You’re not really going to cut my cock off, are you?’

‘Lukas. You just asked me to do it,’ Matthew said, smiling up at him with a lopsided grin. ‘You do want it, don’t you?’

Lukas grinned widely, and his eyes opened, like it was the most exciting thing he’d ever heard of.

Man, he was fucked.

Matthew turned his head down and tried not to laugh. Lukas was a nut when he was doped up. You just had to tell him he wanted something and he believed you. He didn’t even know what was going on.

Matthew angled Lukas’ cock up and wrapped his lips around it.

Man, that tasted sweet. He moved his lips down to Lukas’ groin, and ran his tongue around it. It was so small, it was like sucking on a popsicle. He knew exactly what he would do. He would wait, till Lukas was about to come, and then he’d cut it off.

Lukas took hold of Matthew’s hair, and Matthew lifted his head up.

‘Does that feel good?’ he said, whispering into Lukas’ ear.

Lukas nodded. He had his eyes closed.

‘You’ve got to hang on for as long as you can.’

Lukas nodded again, and Matthew went back to sucking.

He put the back of his right hand, the one in which he had the scalpel, against Lukas’ abs. He could tell, from the way Lukas muscles moved, and the sounds that he made, exactly when Lukas was going to come.

He moved his lips up and down gently, sucking on Lukas’ cock like it was a pacifier, and moving his tongue gently around it.

Lukas started to moan. He had two handfuls of Matthew’s hair, and Matthew felt his grip tighten while he watched the muscles on the insides of Lukas’ thighs begin to contract.

He moved the scalpel, so it was sitting right under the base of Lukas’ cock, right up against his groin. When Lukas came, he would move it up, and across, slicing. He supposed it would take a bit of pressure.

‘Ah,’ Lukas moaned. ‘Ah, ah, ah.’

Matthew could feel it coming. He moved his left hand up, and held it against Lukas’ abdominal wall. When he felt Lukas’ muscles contract he would…

Lukas gripped his hair suddenly. His abdominal muscles contracted. He froze.

Matthew bit the end of Lukas’ cock and pulled backward with his teeth, stretching Lukas’ cock away from his body. And then, in almost the same movement, he sliced up.

‘Oh!’ Lukas said, in a sudden explosion of surprise and relief and pleasure as Matthew’s head jerked backward.

He had Lukas’ cock between his teeth, and the first thing he saw, from where he had cut, was a sudden jerk of liquid, Lukas’ come.

‘Oh!’ Lukas said.

The come jetted out in a spurt, and hit Matthew in the face. There was a second spurt, spurting out from a groin that had no cock, from a space that was circular, and red, and where there was no cock, but blood pulsing in spurts.

Lukas groaned, a second groan, with the second jerk, and it sounded just like pleasure, a long drawn out ‘Oh!’ that turned, through a whole series of pitches and tones, from a groan of pleasure, into a high-pitched scream of pain.

There was a third jerk of come, though Matthew was more interested in the blood now, which was pulsing out of Lukas’ groin with every beat of Lukas’ heart, and he was aware, also, as he saw the third spurt, that Lukas’ groan was turning into a scream.

He clapped his hand over Lukas’ mouth, and saw Lukas eyes, wide-eyed with terror. Between his teeth, Matthew had the head of Lukas’ cock, which was softer now. The blood was draining out of it. It was running down Matthew’s neck. Down his throat. And into the neck of his T-shirt.

Lukas’ legs were jerking, and he was trying to lift them. But Matthew had pushed him backwards, with his hand cupped over Lukas’ mouth.

He ripped one of Lukas’ legs free, and then the other one. He pulled Lukas off the bench, and held him from behind. One arm wrapped around him. The other over his mouth. He dragged him into the music room. And shut the door behind him.

He took his hand away.

Lukas screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

Again, and again, and again.

Long, drawn out screams. High-pitched. Full of desperation. And pain.

He couldn’t stand.

Matthew lifted him.

He put him on the piano, lifting him so that his legs were either side of it.

Lukas had his hands into his groin.

Blood was fountaining through them, through his fingers, pulsing, and flowing everywhere, all down the sides of the polished wood of the piano.

Suddenly, he closed his mouth, and closed his eyes. Shaking.

Matthew stared at him. He didn’t know what to do.

Lukas started sobbing. Each sob a scream.

Matthew realised he had something in his mouth. He put his hand up, and pulled it away, only realising, as he looked at it, that it was Lukas’ cock. It looked just like it always had, but it was soft again now. The blood had flowed out of it.

‘Here, baby,’ he said, holding it up to Lukas’ mouth.

Lukas had his eyes closed.

Matthew put the head of Lukas’ cock into Lukas’ mouth.

‘Suck on that,’ he said.

Lukas sucked on it, like Matthew had said to, and Matthew came, feeling the come pump out of his cock like an explosion, and wetting the insides of his jocks with a sticky mess.

He looked down at himself. He was covered in blood. He hadn’t taken his clothes off first. He wiped the back of his hand across his face, which had been sprayed with Lukas’ come, and watched as it came away covered in blood.

There seemed to be blood everywhere.

Lukas was sucking on his cock, like it was a pacifier. He didn’t know what it was. Obviously. He had his eyes closed. His eyes tightly shut. And he was gripping his groin with all the strength in his hands while blood sprayed through his fingers.

Matthew pulled the cock out of Lukas’ mouth and stuck it in his own. Though he turned it, so it was the other way.

‘Look at this,’ he said, reaching forward and prising Lukas’ eyes open.

Lukas looked.

Matthew had the base of Lukas’ cock between his teeth, and was flopping the length of it around in front of his face like it was growing out of his mouth. He moved his head up and down, hearing the cock slap against his nose and chin, his nose and chin.

Lukas closed his eyes and started to sob. His opened his mouth wide, and screamed. Screaming in pain, as he gripped his groin. And crying intermittently.

‘Here. Watch,’ Matthew said, opening Lukas’ eyes again, as he flopped the cock from side to side, hitting cheek after cheek. Lukas might not find it funny now, but he wouldn’t be able to laugh about it later if he hadn’t seen it.

Lukas opened his mouth wide and screamed at Matthew, screaming at him with all the strength and determination and energy he had. Looking enraged.

Matthew smiled, the cock between his teeth.

And Lukas fell backwards.

Fell sideways.

And rolled off the piano.

Hit all of the keys with the side of his body. Making a raucous clang. And rolled onto the floor.

Matthew took the cock out of his mouth and stared at Lukas. He was lying on his side, with his hands thrust into his groin, his legs drawn up. And Matthew could see his arse, and see how the blood had run down underneath Lukas, coating all the backs of his thighs and going up into the crack between his cheeks.

I bet that hurt, Matthew thought.

He walked out of the music room and closed the door behind him.

Lukas would have to go to a hospital. But first, Matthew would have to get rid of this thing. If he didn’t get rid of it, they would try to sew it back onto Lukas. Some idiot would do that.

Matthew walked into the little bathroom, hearing a muffled scream from the music room as he crossed the workshop. He figured he would flush Lukas’ cock down the john. But as he was standing there, with the cock in his hand, he bit his bottom lip. He unbuttoned his jeans, and unzipped them. He pulled them down to his thighs and put Lukas’ cock up against his own, holding it on top of his cock, and looking at the size of it.

Matthew was hard, and Lukas’ cock, soft, was something like a quarter of the length of it, or less. It was virtually nothing. Matthew rubbed it around his cock, and rubbed it all up and down the length of it, coating it with blood, and using Lukas’ cock to pull himself with. As he came, he put the base of Lukas’ cock over his head, spreading it out like it was something he was going to come through. He held it there, thinking he could get his come to jet through Lukas’ cock, and come out the end of it, but it didn’t work. He blew his load, but it was trapped under the bloody base of Lukas’ cock, and it hurt.

‘Ow!’ he said.

He turned to the toilet, and held the cock over it. He was about to let it go, but he couldn’t. It would be good to keep it. It would be good to show it to Lukas, sometime, when it couldn’t be put back on any longer. After a week or two, when Lukas could laugh about what had happened. Matthew could act like he had found it somewhere, in a drawer or a pocket or something, though he would have to put it in alcohol, really. He could say, “look what I found”, and hold it up to Lukas’ groin. That would be pretty funny, to see the look on Lukas’ face when he saw his penis again, held up against his groin as a joke.

Matthew turned to the basin and washed it, washing the come and the blood off it, though it seemed to be full of blood. He shook it dry, and looked up, catching sight of himself in the mirror above the basin.

He looked awful. There was blood all over his face.

His eyes looked...

And Lukas…

What was he doing?

Matthew turned around, and saw his reflection again. Only it wasn’t his reflection. It was the painting. His portrait.

Lukas had ruined it.

His eyes were black. Black holes. Empty.

And on his face, there was a leer.

An ugly expression.

His mouth all twisted.

He was staring at the viewer, as though he didn’t care about anything. As though he was some sort of Nazi.

He had his hands on his hips, and Lukas had added a massive cock, far larger than it really could be.

It was erect.

Pointing at the viewer. Like a baseball bat.

It was fountaining come. Like a river.

But the cock was punctured.

All over it, it was punctured, and there was blood spurting out of all the puncture wounds, spraying everywhere, and onto his skin, which was green, and yellow, as though it was decaying flesh.

Matthew stared at it. And swallowed.

There was something about the face, something about the look of it, that had looked just now like his own face had in the mirror, something.

Matthew felt weak in the bowels.

What the fuck was he doing?

Lukas.

Matthew looked at his hand. He was holding Lukas’ penis. He stared at it, and felt a chill ripple up his spine.

This was Lukas’ penis.

Lukas.

Lukas.

Lukas would have to go to hospital.

Matthew swallowed. He should have flushed it down the… He shouldn’t have cut…

He stared at the penis again, and then slowly, like he didn’t know what he was doing, he tucked it into the pocket of his jeans. It was soft in there, soft against his inner thigh, right next to his balls.

Matthew swallowed.

And stared at nothing.

Lukas.

He was bleeding.

Matthew would have to ring an ambulance.

He started suddenly, like he had been given a jolt of electricity.

He stepped across the room, slowly at first, but increasing his pace. He opened the music room door.

Lukas had rolled onto on his back. His knees were wide apart, almost touching the ground. His head was hanging back, his mouth open.

He was unconscious.

Between Lukas’ legs, there was a fountain of liquid rising into the air. Matthew frowned, but he couldn’t help a half-smile as he realised what it was. Lukas was pissing himself, from the centre of his bloodied groin, where there was no cock. A little fountain, coming out of nothing. And as Matthew watched, he saw a liquid brown ooze starting to spill out of Lukas’ arse, flowing onto the carpet, and piling up like mud.

While all around Lukas, on the pale, bone carpet, there was a wide, dark circle of blood, growing, spreading outward.

Matthew patted his pocket, reaching for his phone.

He would have to dial 911.

Though he didn’t, of course, have his phone.