Aaron & Angie - The Stuff He Never Told You

Also a public apology to Aaron. He is the finest man alive and we all still love him very much. He is a hard worker and a good provider for his girls. His support payments have always been on time and at four hundred and twenty five dollars each per kid... It has been a stupenous effort. He is a good father now. He has changed. But then again we all have.

The circle of abuse stopped with both of us in that early morning light,on the floor,both of us drunk,and with me jiggling his flacid sac around like a lunatic. I/we stopped the abuse ok , but friends, the methods that we employed were nearly fatal I think for Aaron. What we get away with on livestock isn't suitable for humans. I was lucky that I didn't end up in Rawlins, which was what Mom was threatening him with hours before. He lost a shit load of blood and the worst was the shock I think, and me getting him to drinking again only made it worse. Yea, We stopped the chain of family incest all right, but it was shakey.

I say "We" you noticed. Aaron was a willing participate,and he was very brave I might add.

You may have noticed that I have been kissing his ass alittle here, and taking some of the heat myself. It is true. Things have changed alittle in our twisted family in the last month or so. No, it isn't because I have been to counseling. It really started with the posting of our story, and the stir that that caused here. Well, maybe it is just more satisfying to kiss and make up. He came out for Christmas. It was wonderful. Mom left her morbid ice sculpture in the freezer. We didn't talk about his balls at all around the girls. ( But they know all about it) They may have been evesdropping later when they were suposed to be in bed, but that is pretty hard to control.

Well enough catch up and yak yak about our sorry assed family. I will now dive in head first with both hands hanging onto my bikini bottoms,and tell you guys alittle more about me,and my stepdad.

I was out with Mom, and we had to run into town to pick up my little brother. She drives this ratty assed truck that makes you wonder if you will make it there,or back. We pick up Ricky and stop at the store to get some supplies. When you live way out of town it is important to try to combine trips. So we pick up some stuff at the grocery. Then we start back to the house.

Now maybe he thought we,d be gone all night or something. Maybe he thought we were going to drive all the way to Cheyenne. Maybe he wanted to get caught. I don't know, but when we get back to the house we catch him in bed with my little sister.

Now, at this point I should give you some background information about our twisted sisters family. I will refrain from retelling every torid detail like Aaron already did, but I will have to tell something for those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about.

Aaron liked little girls. That is the short version.

He had been pumping on my shit since I was twelve. Now, I will say that athough it was a confusing,conflicting,screwed up part of my life, I did like the attention and he was an expert lover. He had groomed me since I was a tiny girl, and each little perverted thing that happened seemed pretty normal to me at the time. When I hit puberty I had started to wise up to his "weakness", but I did my part too. I led him on and encourged him to more and more depravity.I helped him down the road to his eventual castration, though because of my age I can't be held responsible. Non-the-less I know the truth, and now the cat is out of the bag, so who gives a flying fuck?? On that fateful day when he finally "took" my virginity, do you think I was bitching about it? I wanted it as much as he did. And I'll repeat He was an expert lover. The emphasis here is on the word "was". This is too damn bad for all of us. I liked it as much as he did. For years we kept it a secret, and that made it even more exciting. Nobody since has been able to bring me to such heights. Nobody has ever been able to keep me there like he did.

But through all this was the strange desire to castrate him. He had sown those seeds too I think, and his account gives some insight into his own castration fantasy. Little comments about cutting off balls, and exhibitionism , like when we were cutting the calves, these things have given me more insight into his own twisted mentality. I don't carry so much blame for what happened now. In his account he tells about encouraging me to hit him in the balls when I was but a tiny little girl. These things are true. But from my point of veiw, it was silly and it made him weak. It brought him down from a father figure to a playmate. It was weird. But I liked it, I mean it gave me power and control. Well, this sort of thing went on for years, non stop.

There were a couple of occasions when I clearly rememeber him coming out and saying,"Angie, sweety, do you think that I should be turned into a gelding?" or "Angie, would you like to cut off my balls?" I responded with, "No Dad, I think you would enjoy it too much." or " No Dad, why don't you keep those nasty things a little longer." But there were coversations which definitely turned the tide on this idea. Some of these were baited by me but mostly it was him trying to get some kind of strange thrill from talking about castration with a teenage girl. What did I think about this? Well, a lot of things, and again, it was confusing. First of all it didn't seem to make any sense- not on the surface. Why would a healthy grown male volunteer for such a thing. All the calves get dragged kicking and bellowing into the shute. The pigs scream so loud it hurts your ears. And the sheep- ok so they don't seem to mind so much- but that's why they call them sheep, right. So why would a "healthy" full grown man want to get neutered?

I got a lot of mixed messages on this one. He seemed to draw some kind of energy off of it. It scared him, and yet it excited the hell out of him. I could tell by the rise in his levis every time the suject got brought up. It got brought up a lot. Later when we had started fucking I used this as a tool to get more sex. Then it was me who was directing the conversation, and rubbing up against him,feeling the hardness in his trousers. But it scared him when I would take it too far. Then he would back out of the conversation or try to change the subject. Like I would say," Ok Aaron I think you're right, how about right now?" "You need to get your shit out of your pants, and I'll trim those nads off right now." Then he would hedge and say, "Sweety, it is just an idea, something to think about." But in the end, he won the arguement. He bowled me over with twenty or thirty really pausable reasons why it was a good idea. We never gave too much thought at the actual time I cut him about the negative effects. But I had been conditioned from when I was five to think about the benefits. The main reason that stuck out in my mind over the years on why I should cut him was because he was such a pervert.

He was a major pervert,and fixing him of that would clean up our family problems. I think that he thought about that alot too. But, it was always a risky game for him, a game that he played using his testicles as currency. It was a game that was fun to play for him because he got so sexually stimulated over the threat to his precious nads, and for the rest of us it was a game that was also enjoyable, mostly because it was easy and wasn't really theatening to us personally. I mean, so what if "Daddy" loses his balls. It didn't scare any of us. After thirteen years of talking about it, seeing the things hanging there, wrestling around on the floor and getting the squeeze on him, and then dealing with livestock everyday. Yea, it wasn't that big of a deal in my head. My feelings on the matter were, Go ahead, cut the everloving things off, and be done with it.

But we were fucking. I liked that part. Men are scarce out here, I mean the ones that I'd let stick their cocks inside my body. If he really did somehow get cut then all that would be over.

Then there was the Mom thing. He mentioned that hole in the wall in the master bedroom in his little account, and it was true. There was a hole in the wall of Mom's room and us girls spent some time peeking through it and watching those two go at it. Mom was in there giving his nuts a work out every other night. Some of their so called fun looked to me like it was on the verge of castrating him too. She was milking his fantasies for all they were worth too. I learned a lot from watching through the wall. I think that this is where I really started to develop my own sexual fantasy life. My first secret fantasies turned into life long patterns and my first secret orgasms fixed the images into my mind.

Mom was into bondage. She would tie him up and he would let her. Then she would whip him alittle and then stroke him gently. He would get great big boners, and she would ingnore it and instead sit on his face while she twisted his nuts up. She would torture him by not letting him cum. She also would tie bands around the base of his penis and force him to stay erect for as long as she wanted. His dick would turn purple sometimes, but he would keep right on pumping the stuff back and forth or licking her pussy or whatever she commanded. I watched all of this whenever I wanted from the privacy of the the store room through that hole in the wall.

Now for Mom's part I will say she is innocent. She had no idea that us kids were watching them hump. She never found out about the "hole in the wall" until after everything went to shit. That wasn't the only peep hole in that house either. The only way to be sure you could be alone was somewhere like the hay loft or the top of a mountain. But, you see we took all this for granted at the time, and never questioned any of it. It was fun and exciting. It was an adventure.

So, what I'm getting to here is that it is a wonder that he still had functional testicles at all. His balls were under constant attack from everyone. Not just us kids kicking him while we were wrestling,or in my case, I'd reach right up there and grab a hold of them and twist them up and squeeze. What I was doing now that I look back on it was probably squeezing all that testostone into his blood stream making him even more crazed. Well, whatever, but I will say this much, that man was all about looking at my panties no matter what we did to him. I learned at the age of seven or so that I could send him into a sweating frenzy if I forgot the panties entirely.

Now back to the ride home from town. In telling this I might have to jump around in time allitle. I hope you don't mind. One minute I'll be on the floor with the knife in my hand, and the next I'll be back in my room when I was five years old. It is just the way my memory works. I'll try to keep you on board as we go. Now I want to go back to that night I caught him in bed with my sister.

So, we get back to the house, and I head straight for the master bedroom. Mom is right on my heels. We left the groceries in the back of the truck, and Ricky out in the lot trying to carry stuff in and bitching about it. Why the big rush?? Because of Mother/Daughter E.S.P. ? I think it was something that was said between us on the way up the lane. I forget what it was ,but it might have been me or her saying,"He better be behaving himself." We never talked about his outrageous behaviour between each other,and I was at that time keeping an even bigger secret. I was pregnant with his baby. I was starting to show and it was getting to the point where I was going to have to have some kind of talk with her. Mothers have a way of knowing things, even if you don't tell them. She says today that she didn't know about any of it, but maybe it was like E.S.P.. One way or the other we rushed into the house and down the hall, and there on the bed,buck-assed naked,was my stepfather and my little sister. He was on top of her and they had been obviously fucking.

I was sooooo mad. (I might have to take another trip down memory lane to explain to you all the times that I engaged in his sexual stuff just so that he wouldn't pay attention to my little sister)I stood there with my mouth open in shock and horror. I was betrayed by the man who I loved. We had made promises together, and there was the baby.... Words cannot describe the anger that boiled up inside me. I was so pissed and shocked that I didn't do anything, but Mom - Mom swept past me like a whirlwind.

We have talked about this later many times and she says she felt just like I did. She was just able to move faster.

Ok I will have to digress for a moment. About Mom, Mom is a psycho. I have seen people go "off" before but Mom really goes off. She starts foaming at the mouth and everything. She goes into these blackouts and when she wakes up there are bodies everywhere. Normally it is us kids that are laying everywhere. Oh, and the screaming, it is really hard to take. She hits too, she'll knock your ass out if you make her crazy enough. We all know (Aaron included) not to push her too far or somebody is going to get hurt real bad.

Ok, so here is Aaron in bed with Wendy and they have plainly been fucking on her (Mom's) bed.

Mom went psycho.

Look, I was pissed but even then I felt sorry for Aaron. He was in soooooo much trouble. I thought Mom would blow a valve or something. She beat him up pretty bad.

The first thing that I remember was when she rushed into the room. She grabbed him by his penis and balls and yanked him out of bed. He didn't even have time to try to cover up. I am really surprized that she didn't rip off his manhood with her bare hands right there. He squealed like one of the piglets and I think that first shot defeated him before the whole thing even began. She hit him a bunch of times. He was toast.

I was mad too, but I confess that it was jealousy. I was mad because he was sleeping with my sister. He belonged to me (and to Mom but somehow I was ok with that),but this latest insult was too much. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to slap him. For betraying me and for lieing. I was glad she was attacking him. I only wished it was me, so I crowded in and helped to drag him out of the bedroom. I got a couple of kicks in and slapped him around on the head. Mom pushed me away and told me to knock it off that this was her business. I kept after it as best as I could and yelled and screamed at him right along with Mom. But I think we both restrained from actually hurting him bad. Mom was mad, but I don't think that she blacked out. Most of the hurting was his own shame at having been caught red handed in bed naked with his step-daughter. And we caught him good. He had his erection in her face and his own face buried in her muff. I can tell you something though, He lost that boner right quick.

Now, I should mention Wendy. Wendy was as shocked by the whole thing as Aaron. Mom didn't treat her too nice either. She tried to hide under the sheets, and it was a wonder that she didn't pee herself or something. She had curled up into a little ball. I supose that she thought she was going to "get it" too, but Mom was concerned with Aaron more then her. The minute that we had dragged him out of the room you can bet she was out of that bed,and getting her clothes on. She was as scared of Mom's wrath as anyone else.

Mom started foaming at the mouth (like a rabid animal).That is what we called it when she REALLY went off. Aaron was in such deep shit. She had him out in the living room and was yelling and screaming and kicking him. He was naked and curled up trying to protect himself. She wouldn't let him get in a single word, and when he did she would start screeching that much louder. I was hanging back by the wall watching the whole thing. It was unreal.

She told him that she was going to shoot him one second,and the next she was going to call the cops.All the while she was kicking and punching him and poking him with her finger, she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

What happened next really suprized me, I mean who would have ever thought she'd pull this off, but she says she'll have to tie him up, so he won't run or try to pull some shit. She wanted to get some of those S/M ropes out of her bedroom. She was hollering at Ricky to get some ropes,and that is where the rope came from. I know because I keep track of this shit. So Ricky is standing there with his mouth hanging open trying to catch flies. He was enjoying the spectacle, but wisely hanging back and letting it happen. She makes him fetch the rope.

Now,Aaron is crying like a baby and begging for forgivness, and all this blubbering just makes her madder. She is going off big time about castrating him, and I think that,looking back, she was having trouble figuring out just what to do. She made it a big point about his nuts coming off. But She was going to make sure that he didn't run away. So we tied him up right there on the floor. Tied him up with the same nylon rope that I'd watched Mom do him to the bed in her room. He keeps on with his crying. The thing that Mom hates worse then anything in the whole world is when somebody shows weakness. This just tends to make her even more pissed, and she'll slap you for crying or kick you when your down just out of principal. He got more of both.

In the end though,it was like once we had him tied up,her anger started to change into cunning, or she became more thoughtful and calculating. She started to be more dangerous really when she had time to think about stuff. So, all the while Aaron is still trying to beg for forgivness, and He is still crying plenty. She stomps off to find her other daughter.

Now, when this happened I had a chance to go at him. I was already right there in his face because I had helped Ricky tie his hands and feet. He was still sort of curled up in a ball on the floor.I didn't hurt him any more because my anger was spent already, but I still give him a good tongue lashing, and when I leaned over to whisper in his ear about the little secret in my belly and about telling Mom everything, well, I thought he was going to piss himself. His face was a white as a ghost, and he was shaking and begging. He was promising me the sun and the moon on a silver platter if I just wouldn't tell. Ricky was close by so this little exchange was all in whispers. I confess that I enjoyed watching him squirm. I wanted to kick him and slap him too.

I said to him,"Aaron, she is going to cut your balls off for real." He said, "Angie please don't let her." " I,m sorry that I slept with Wendy and I'll do anything, please help me!" "I'm sorry, soooo sorry, PLEASE!!!"

Truth is I had mixed feelings about it all. I knew that Wendy had been partly to blame. I had watched the two of them together, and had seen the way that she had let him peek at her pussy or down her blouse at her titties. I also knew how weak he was as it concerned sex. The man was spineless. I mean, he had no strength to say no. He had no will power at all. Never the less the words that came out of my mouth were less then kind, "Aaron you should be castrated." "She is going to cut your nuts off right here in front of everyone, and you deserve it!" "Aaron you'll be lucky if she doesn't kill you, you know that,right?"

He nodded his head and wept more and begged,"But please Angie try to get her to see it differantly." He added,"Just let her send me away."

I returned with,"It's a little late for that now, DADDY!" " If I were you I would be trying to make a deal to stay out of prison,and I would beg for the privilege to simply keep keep your penis intact." "I'd be worried about my dick if I were you." "Your balls are toast!"

Now,another digression, I think Aaron went through the history of our little ranch pretty well. He talked at length about castration being the most favorite chore on our place, and he mentioned also that there weren't many swinging balls left here or even on the neighbors places, well, he was telling it straight boys and girls. It is a fact, we'd jump at the chance to de-nut anything that walks or crawls. And you can blame Aaron himself for the fixation that was instilled in all of us. It was just now, finally, his turn, and he didn't like it. It wasn't going the way that he wanted. Also he got his chance at reproduction. Mom and I were both pregnant. Still he begged and pleaded and struggled with the ropes around his ankles and wrists. I sat on him.

This was the scene that Mom and Wendy walked back in on. Wendy was crying and Mom had her arms around her,and was at the moment being kind and supportive. Wendy sobbed and told Mom how Aaron had teased her with wrestling games, and then started to touch her titties through her shirt. She said that Aaron promised to take her shopping in town if she would let him see her pussy.Then after having gotton her panties off he promised to buy her this outfit at a name brand store if she would let him kiss her pussy. She described the massaging and the sedution, and how he kept pressing against her, and pressuring her to do as he pleased. She cried all through it, and I sat on protesting Aaron,and thought-what a line of shit.

Well, Mom later told me that she hadn't bought it either, however the fact was that Aaron did do it,and she was going to cut off his balls regardless of whatever Wendy said. Of coarse, she also said that the whole thing was just a scare tactic to get him (Aaron) to straighten up and quit fucking with her children. On those days she would say that she never indended to even call the cops. I think she just missed the regular knookey. Well, we'll all never know. One way or the other things are better now, and it was me who cut off his balls.

So after listening to the drama from Wendy for awhile Mom turns her wrath back toward Aaron. Mom makes this proclamation, "We are going to give him a whipping!" Now, we have all been the subjects of "whippings" down through the years, so this came as quite a suprize.

Aaron starts trying to make a deal,"If I let you give me a whipping then you will let me go and I'll go away and never come around again?"

Mom says,"You shut up you sick fuck!" and then she orders him to bend over the back of the couch.

Now he told you some of this in his account, but I am going to tell it again anyway. He starts gimping around on the floor like he is half dead or something, so Mom and I sort of help pick him up and drape his sorry ass over the back of the couch. He is still crying and weeping and going on and on about how sorry he is, and trying to make deals to get out of the shit with Mom.

Mom says,"Tie him up better!" and adds,"Tie him down to the couch!

Ricky and I didn't hesitate. I secured his hands to the feet of the sofa. While I was down there getting him secured to the base of the sofa he was begging me to let him go, begging me for forgivness, and had tears streaming down both cheeks. His face was inches from mine. Ricky was working on his feet and Mom was helping him. He was a mess.

Now, I have to describe this, Aaron is bent over the couch secured by his hands and feet. He has his ass sticking up toward the ceiling and his legs are stretched apart. And yes, you could plainly see his genitals hanging over the edge of the sofa. It was comical. Aaron was going to get a whipping. I remember thinking that after his "whippin" he'll probably lose his manhood right there on the front of the couch. We couldn't see his head because of the way he was bent over, but I doubt that he was smiling and liking it. I thought she'd cut his balls right then. The sight of them seemed to fill her with rage.

So Mom gets a riding crop. Do you know what a riding crop is? It is a short stiff whip made for unruly horses. We have several of both around here.

Mom made us take turns whipping him.

His ass was bright red and covered with welts. I'm talking like drawn blood red. It had to hurt. He wimpered and wailed. Mom told us not to damage his manhood though, just to whip his ass. She said his balls were hers. It was tempting though. I mean the fucking shit was hanging right there.

We all got EVEN on that night for all the heavy handed discipline, and punishments that we had all recieved at his hand over the years. His ass whippin was worse than any we'd ever got....Oh and his precious nuts might have accidentally taken a hit or two. I mean it is hard to control the crop when Mom's standing there yelling, "Hit him harder!!" "Hit him like you mean business!!!" "You call that a whipping?" So Aaron got punished pretty bad.

We all thought that she'd de-nut him right then and there.

My sister, the little-- ok be nice-- She was licking her lips and rubbing her self against the back of a chair.I guess she didn't get enough earlier... I was pretty hot myself I have to admit. Ricky was popping one I could tell. Mom was getting that misty look in her eye too.

I don't think Mom would have really de-nutted him. Looking back through time and all the coversations that we have had since. She was pissed in the morning when she found out that I had. But we all beleived it. I really thought that he was going to get neutered.

Well, what's a girl to do?

I had told him years ago when he asked me if I would cut off his balls, I said,"No Aaron I think you would enjoy it too much." Strange how things turn out isn't it. I hope that you fellows reading this don't hate me too much for what I did. I mean, it wasn't entirely my fault.

So, Mom gives him a chance to stay out of prison and a chance at having a normal relationship with their unborn child. She makes him promise to be good and he has to stay right there on that couch in that room, and then there would be no sheriffs and no more beatings. He agrees- of coarse. We untie him. There was an air of disappointment amongst us kids. I mean really we were relieved that she didn't do it right then, but we all wanted to watch his nuts drop right then. Blood and all,on the sofa, YEA! I had mixed emotions but my sister and brother they didn't even try to hide their disappointment.

Wendy says,"Mom,I thought you said you were going to cut his nuts."

Ricky adds,"Yea Mom, What he did was really bad." "You can't leave him running around like this." (little does he know what will happen to him a couple of years later when he and Wendy get caught)

Mom says to all of them," We give him a choice." "He can try to run, tonight, and tommorow I call the sheriff, and he'll get twenty years in Rawlins." "He might get away, but there isn't anywhere to go out here." "We'll fry his ass in court and then do you know what they do to child molesters over in Rawlins?"

He (Aaron) looked down at his feet.

Mom continued,"They cut off their balls and then use them as bitches." "They treat them worse then dog shit." "I don't think you'd last a year in there."

Wendy says,"Yea but you said that there is only one way to handle this."

Mom cut her off and I has glad of it," Listen you little tramp, it takes two to tango, and I know that half of the shit you told me was just that- a line of shit!" "You need to sit down and shut up." she added. "His ass belongs to me now and I'll call the shots!"

Aaron started to protest his human rights or something and she cut him off verbally too," You lost your rights when I came home and found you with your dick inside my little girl!" She also said to him,"I will give you some choices, choices that you had better think long and hard on." "You can run, and take your chances out there." "You can stay and we'll address your testostone problem tommorow." "Now if you run I'll call the law down on your ass so fast that it'll blind you, but if you stay and behave yourself you'll get a chance to watch your little girl grow up and be a part of her life." " I will even let you stay here and be a part of the kids life,but not as long as you are still a raging sex pervert." She added," We have done enough of these around here to know that it'll work, but it'll be your choice Aaron." "If you want to stay on,you will have to do it without your balls."

He tries to protest again and Mom starts to get worked up again. (I had mentioned that getting her pissed wasn't a good idea)Well, he shuts up and jacks down. I suppose his ass must have really hurt.

Now, talking with Mom later I discover that her plan (at least one of her plans) didn't really include his castration. She was going to control the piss out of him and watch him like a hawk, but she wasn't going to go all the way-Not unless he tried it again.

He was pretty quiet and things were settling down. Most of the really bad shit had already happened. Mom appeared to have cooled off enough to be able to sit down and smoke a fattie. Us kids we got tokes off of her joint too. It was time to sit down in a semi-circle around Aaron and quietly insult him I guess. He smartly didn't offer any resistance to anybody, and we all talked about his eminent un-manning. Since he was still naked, and we had him cornered we had plenty of time to examine him,poke at him,ectra. Mom dropped ashes on his genitals and made like she was going to try to put out her doobie on his sac. He cringed and twisted and begged for his clothes. There was still alot of anger in Mom,but us kids really were having too much fun watching him squirm before his "big day" tommorow. She wouldn't let him have any clothes to wear, and later when we all turned in for the night he was lucky to get a blanket. (He was informed he would be sleeping on the couch were he got his whippin)

This is all pretty anticlimatic I know but every detail set the stage for the next. I told him at one point that he was damn lucky, and losing his nuts wasn't so bad. Mom kept making him expose himself. She went on and on about which way to cut them,and about infections. She made him lift up his penis,and exaimined the skin there. His dick was withered up like a raisin. She said that she should cut that off too(his penis)just to be sure that he wouldn't ever try to stick it in her little girl. She was at one point going to get a magic marker to draw a line around his sac where she was going to cut him off in the morning, but we couldn't find the magic marker for her. She was too stoned, well, so were we. She seemed to spend an excessive amount of time holding onto his balls making him bend over doggie style and pulling them out from behind. We laughed alot at his expense, even Wendy relaxed and seemed to get along with Mom alittle better. It was mostly the weed though.

There was a deadly seriousness under all of it, and nobody,Aaron included,was messing with mamma bear at that point. He had his fill of Mom being psycho, but then we all did. We like her stoned,and passive. Don't get her started. Don't piss her off. We were all just very glad that it was him not one of us that was in trouble.

It got late and everyone went off to their seperate rooms to pass out. I pretended to go to bed but I just laid there thinking, thinking, and waiting. I was waiting for the house to settle down, and waiting for everybody to quit their masturbatory stirrings, waiting for the rhythmic snoring to begin. I was waiting because I had a LOT of unfinished business with that man out on the couch, and I had a LOT of things that I needed to say to him in private.

The house did eventually become quiet.

The living room is quite away down from the bedrooms. My main worry was my Mother,as it has always been. She had locked herself into her room,and let me tell you- you could hear her snoring. I slipped down the hall in my bare feet and my nightie. I went past Moms room and was releived to hear her sleeping. I had nothing to fear from Aaron. We had been fucking for years. I trusted him, but more then that I loved him. I knew him. I knew maybe more about him then he knew. I had been quietly slipping around my Mother and Sister and Brother for a long time now. This wasn't a new scene for either of us. I was really scared that he had slipped out into the night to disapear before I could say goodbye, and hold him one last time.

When I padded up to the living room I could hear him in there whispering. He was praying, standing by the front window, with a blanket draped around himself. I hung back for a few moments and listened to what he said.

Aaron wasn't much into God. None of us are really. I mean we would talk about it some, and all of us have tried our hands at praying, Aaron was more into that sort of thing when he first moved out to the ranch. All my experiences with prayer really came from that period of my life. I had listened to him say his morning prayers back in those days. He used to be a drinker you know, and then started going to those secret meetings. He told me that the secret meetings were all about making some kind of contact with this Supreme Being, and that in doing so the lives of the people who did so, well, they would change. He had taught me how to pray. Back in the day when I was a tiny little girl,I would watch him in the mornings. He'd have a steaming cup of coffee in his hands and he'd be sitting at the kitchen table with his head down and his hands clasped around his coffee cup. I would watch as he bowed his head, and watch his lips as he said "the words". I would listen as he would give his life and all over to the care of God. People think that I'm stupid or don't pay attention- I miss nothing.

We would sometimes roam the hills looking for strays. He would talk to me about God,and about what he thought about religion and all the harm that that has done in the world. Aaron had some kind of relationship with "God". We spend a lot of time running his ass down but few of us have looked deeply to see the ways that he enriched our lives. He thought God was love, and went on to describe how this love resides in everyone. He would tell me about an alternate reality that seems to lie all about this one but is somehow seperate from it, and he would go on about the human soul. You see,I digress again, He was a spiritual man. I say this in spite of the obvious and glaring problems that he had with his charactor. I say it also to help you understand what was going on that night while he stood by that window.

I don't know if I should even repeat what I heard there. When a man is wrecked, I'm talking utterly destroyed, well , Aaron was repentant. He was sorry and I knew it in my own heart.

I look back at it all and I keep coming up with "what if's". What if we had run away together and gone far far away. What if I'd had his baby,with him by my side,in Chile. What if.... What if I'd never cut his balls off? I digress again. Sometimes I cry too you know.

After a break....sorry folks, I know that you want to hear about the way I "jiggled" his sac in his face. I did.

So, Aaron's standing by the window and I slip up behind him and wrap my arms around him,and tell him I love him. He is pretty broken up. He says that he is scared of being nuetered. He doesn't really want to get cut.I try to comfort him and console him.

I go through all the positive stuff that I can think about castration with him. I tell him that he'll get to have a full head of hair, and that he'll not have to worry about testicular cancer. I tell him mostly that it will not only be for his own good,but for the good of those around him. I talk about his life long "thing" that he has with little girls, and I ask him if he really wants to expose his unborn baby inside me or the one inside Mom to all the same perversions that he exposed me to. This point was the strongest,and I went back to it several times. I told him that he would lose all intrest in sex and in little girls. I told him that he would be safe to have around,and I said that he wouldn't have to worry about any other unexpected pregnancies. I also mentioned that he had a full life,and had many great sexual exploits. I tried to sell him on how the loss of his balls would help him "purify" his thought life,and help with his spirituality. I told him also that it was pay-back. Pay-back is a motherfucker, that was the saying around our house. I said that if he followed through with it,then everybody would have to forgive him. I also said that if he got hit in the groin region it might not hurt as much. I told him that he would probably quit trying to look down my little sister's blouse, or up her nightie. But the thing that really sold him was that I told him I'd give him the best orgasm he'd ever had just before it was done,and that if he hung around this house much longer it was going to be happening regardless of his feelings about it. I said "She is going to cut your balls off Aaron." " Tommorow morning you and your danglies are going to part ways, and If I were you I'd be hoping that it is Mom not Wendy holding the knife." "I don't know about you but Wendy seems way too eager."

Then I said," Think about it Aaron, Something like this can only happen once in a man's life." "If you have to do it,then your choices start to get limited." Then I pulled the stopper, I said," Aaron if you want, I'll be the one." There was a pause and I quickly added,"I'll do a good job, and I'll fuck your brains out first."

He agreed,of coarse. We all know that.

I went and got the stuff that we used for the bulls out of the kitchen. We do our own veterinary work here. Castrations are old hat,but usually they are done to young animals. We would take special delight in castrating an old bull or ram. It was sadistic and mean, but look, we get our thrills where we can. And you didn't grow up here so.... back off. So this is what I gathered up to neuter my stepfather; a curved needle, a roll of fishing line, my pocket knife, a bath towel, and a pair of pliers. Most of this is self explanatory, but some of you might be wondering what in the hell we use the pliers for. We used those to crush down the veins and stem the bleeding. It works great if you heat them up a little. But again, folks, don't do it. You can't get your man to grow a new set of balls, and the hormone replacements just aren't the same. So I hope that clears up things alittle.

I keep the blade of my folding knife really sharp. Aaron taught me how to sharpen a knife, and mine was honed to a razor edge. It still is. I could shave my legs with it.... or my pussy.

I told him what I wanted to do. I said," Aaron, I'll have to tie you up alittle so you don't struggle and make me botch the job."

He nodded his head, and said,"OK."

I said,"Are you really sure that you want to do it here tonight?"

He replied,"Sweety, I am running out of options." "You heard what she said." "I am going to get it no matter what I do." He added,"I would rather have it be you that gelds me."

I said,"Yea, Aaron I think you are pretty well backed into a corner here." Then I added,"If you do let me do you, then at least it'll still be sort of your choice, and Aaron I'll be quick and I'll do it with love."

Then I said,"I'll fuck your brains out, but at the moment of your orgasm, thats when I'll cut your nuts." Then I asked,"Is that the way you'd have me do it?"

He nodded again, and said," I have told you before about my secret fantasy." "Yes love, that is the way it should end."

I tied him up again, but this time it was gentle,and I did it all sexy like.I tied his hands behind his back but I left him enough slack in the rope that he had them by his sides not trapped under his back. Mom's ropes are this silky smooth nylon. They are actually really nice. Soft- that is the word that I'm looking for. I tied his feet too. We were on the carpet in front of that couch were he had gotten that asswhippin earlier. I had him on his back and I stretched out each of his legs to the ends of the sofa. I secured his ankles to the little supports under the corner of the sofa. I folded the towel and had him lift up his ass a little.

This is the thing that I may never fully understand, and maybe it is because I am a woman. Why is it that you guys get soooo turned on by your own castration? Aaron had a boner alright. That is an understatment.

Oh Yea, I know that looking back that this was demeaning as hell, but I did take a pair of my panties,and ball them up and stuff them in his mouth. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I told him that it would help to keep him from crying out and waking up everyone in the house.

I had been seducing him all along. He had been pressing his erection against my belly since shortly after I entered the room. Any time that I talked dirty to him he would rise to the occasion. Anytime we talked about castration you could practically see his penis straining to extend itself out of his pants. Sometimes I would be talking dirty to him about cutting off his balls, and then barely even run my tongue against his swollen tip of his penis, and he would explode with spasms, jerking, and squirting all over himself. From a girls point of view this is pretty funny, but if you are trying to get laid, or holding out for and orgasm yourself then it can be annoying. This night there wasn't any premature ejaculations, that was nice for both of us. I rode him like a stallion. I got to be the one on top.

He was my stallion. My un-gelded,virile,masculine machine under my thighs. We bucked and rocked back and forth for what seemed like hours. He was my steed and under my lash, my control, and neatly bound under me. Yes, I came and not just once. It was the fantasy coming true that was doing it. I was going to castrate my mighty stallion even while I rode him

He had to know that it was about to happen. I had changed positions so that I was facing his feet . I had my back to his face. He was straining his butt up and trying to thrust into me. As I straddled him I rocked forward again and taking his swollen manhood in my hands I helped to guide him back to the site of his desires. His cock was rock hard and already slick with my love. I could tell he was ready. He was groining and bucking under me. I already had his balls in my hands, and was starting to pull on his manhood even as I could feel them trying to contract back against the root of his cock. He was thrusting into me as deep as he could and grunting with each upward push. He seemed intent,even desperate,to get up inside me deeper than ever before.

With my left hand I had his balls drawn out and the skin of his sac stretched tight between our legs. His balls were trying to contract up into his body like they knew what fate awaited them. It was like a desperate struggle of two sweating and exhausted wrestlers. We both knew what was going to happen. He held it back and he tried with all his might not to ejaculate. I could see the muscles in his legs tense up as he pulled against the couch. Then it was like he couldn't stand not to, and he thrust himself deep inside me again and again. Then suddenly with a little muffled shriek he bucked his hips and arched up under me,and I felt his penis spasm. That was when, with my right hand, I passed the blade of my knife through the skin of his scrotum. It shot through the skin like it wasn't even there. He gave out a louder grunt and thrust up into me again. His balls were already cut off. I had to make a second pass to free them completely. He cried out again much louder this time. I stayed were I has and felt him jerking and spasming under,and I felt him pumping his load into me. I then felt him start to shrink and whither. He was pumping his legs up like he was trying to get into a fetal position. The bonds on his ankles prevented this, but the whole sofa was moving. Blood was freely flowing from the wound that I had made, it was even squirting in places. His dick withered up inside me even more. He was still sort of humping but it was more like he was trying to curl up. I sat on top of him with his balls and sac in one hand, and a knife in the other in complete disbelief of what I had just done.

The towel was turning red and he was making muffled choking nioses. I lifted my ass off his torso and felt his limp penis slide out of my pussy. I stayed on top of him straddled over him but turned around to face him and show him the prize.

I did jiggle his severed sac, balls and all,in his face. I must have been beaming with excitement. He didn't share my enthusiasm. He appeared to be choking on my panties. I helped him clear them out of his mouth. He didn't scream, but I'm sure that he wanted to. He didn't puke either but, there was considerable retching.

I said,"Thanks Aaron for letting me be the one." Then I kissed him.

Things started to happen really fast after this. Blood was soaking the towel, I mean really soaking it. We cut the balls off lots of calves,and they never bled like this. Yea, even the old bulls we'd cut would bled down both legs quite a bit, but come on man. Aaron was trying to get into the fetal position, but he couldn't because I had tied his feet to the corners of the couch.

I untied him and he curled up. I gave him another towel to put between his legs like a giant white maxi pad. It turned red in only a couple of minutes. This was starting to scare me.

I said,"Aaron I have to cauterize you."

He didn't seem to hear me. I got right up into his face and repeated it. He nodded his head.

I pretty much ran to the kitchen to heat the pliers on the stove. When they were good and hot I ran back to Aaron to try to stop the worst of the bleeding by pinching off the veins with the hot pliers. I had to plead with him to open his legs and get his hands out of the way. Blood was everywhere. I couldn't see shit. It was getting light out but that wasn't enough. I turned on the living room lights. I still couldn't see too good but I tried to find the worst one anyway. When the hot pliers touched his flesh he gave a shriek that I was sure would have woke up the whole house.

I thought,Oh Fuck.

I wished that I hadn't untied him, but even that wouldn't have helped. I found another towel and we applied pressure to the wound. It was turning red too. The towels were soaked with his blood. It didn't seem to be slowing either.

I really just wanted to cauterize whatever artery was bleeding so much. I hadn't figured on all this. I hadn't figured on him being uncooperative. I hadn't thought that hot pliers would make him scream. This was when I got that next bright idea. Whiskey. Make him drunk then cauterize his bloody ass.

When I brought the whiskey to him he didn't even really pause before he drank. I took the bottle from him and took a long drink myself.

When I cut off his balls I had been pulling on his whole sac. When I made those two passes with my knife my thought was, There I got the whole thing. The fact was this, it was a huge wound. It went from nearly his asshole to clear up the underside of his penis. When I finally got him to let me in to see it again I couldn't see the ends of the vas deferens where I suspected all the blood was coming from. They had appeared to be hiding just inside some other muscles and fat. The wound was still bleeding but from up inside him. This was another OH FUCK moment. I didn't want him to see that I was scared, I thought that that would make it worse.

We both drank more and applied more pressure. He soaked up another towel.

This went on for an hour or more. When he finally agreed to let me try to find the cut ends that were bleeding so badly I have to admit that I was drunk too. I did the best that I could, and Aaron to his credit endured my unsanitary probings,pulling,and burning with an admirable stoic silence that verged on heroic. We were both so stupid. I did this little piece of work on the kitchen counter. I had never figured on those little fuckers sucking up inside of him like that. Fucking bizarre. It was nearly seven or eight in the morning by that time.

I had already figured that I was fucked. I was too drunk to stich him up,and I didn't hardly leave enough skin there to draw together.He was white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf in the wind. I kept feeding him more booze, and drinking some myself. I found him a tee shirt and got him back on the sofa with a fresh towel between his legs. My thoughts were as best as I can remember;At least the bleeding is almost stopped, Jesus, Mom's going to be pissed. Oh and I might as well get plastered too.

There wasn't any hope of me stiching up the wound. His balls were still in their sac sitting on the coffee table in front of us.

He told some jokes while we (cuddled just dosen't work).He was able to smile and be light hearted about his new condition. We held each other. I tried to comfort him. Mom had plenty of whiskey. We didn't have any pain killers. He joked about losing his sobrity along with his balls. We picked them up and examined them together. He cried and so did I.

I know now after talking to him why he was able to "take it" so well. It was because, he said that he actually hoped that he would bleed to death or have a heart attack or something. He just gave up. He did his penance right there that morning.

Yea, I,Angie,cut off my father's balls.

Now, we have been passing this back and forth in our family for a couple of months now. I should at this point let Mom write my epilogue just like I wrote one for Aaron, but I don't think our editor is too happy with us already so I guess I had better try to wrap it up myself.

We all know Aaron lived. I didn't go to jail and Aaron didn't have to go to the hospital. Mom went psycho again. This time it was me who was in trouble. She stiched him up and somehow found enough skin to pull it all together. Aaron stayed drunk for a solid month and Mom kept him that way. Mom had a shitload of antibiotics for the livestock that she gave to him. clorotetracycline tetracycline and whatnot that she mixed up in his water. Mom healed him up pretty good. He continued to bleed alittle for a long time then the wound would weep alittle between the stitches. He did a fair amount of weeping too. It was tough to take.

The cat got out of the bag about me being pregnant a couple of weeks later. She wasn't even mad at him at all but I got treated like a warmed over dog turd for months.

Speaking of bags, She tanned his ball bag into a strange little drawstring purse. His nuts as you have been told didn't get eaten by the cat or anything, they ended up in the freezer go figure in a block of ice.

Aaron stayed on at the ranch. He changed- alot. Nobody was getting boned anymore, but he would still service Mom in the ways that he could. He had a pump that he'd pump it up with and then he'd put a band on the base of his penis to hold the blood in,and keep it hard. But getting him to go to the trouble was a pain in the ass.He really did lose all interest in sex. I didn't lose interest in it.

He got back on the wagon again, and I was really glad of that. I felt so guilty about everything.

I gave him a daughter in the spring of 93. I named her Rachel after that good woman in the bible. He was there by my side, and I felt totally comfortable about having him hold her. It felt like a little penance on my part toward him

I have a few hang-ups still. I have troubles geting my rocks off. I can't seem to get into and stay in relationships. When I make love to a man, I'm not really there. I'm in my fantasy.I'm with Aaron,and I'm just a girl, and I'm teasing him about his nuts. In my minds eye I play through it all again. When I finally do get off, it is with the image of his severed manhood in my bloody hand. Yea, I know, I'm a sick chick.

The winters are long up here and it gets damn cold. I wish that he was here, and that he wanted to make sweet love to me kiss my pussy and pump on me all night long.

Well, I guess that is it. If I "cum" back again it will be to tell you a dark fantasy or a mastubation dream. Aaron and I both agreed that we are done dragging our family through cyber space. It has been cleansing for both of us though, but enough is enough.

Fare thee well

Angie