“Hey Ryan, look at that shop on the corner. OOOhhhhh…MWAHAHAHA!” Chris was doing his worst imitation of a bad sci-fi villain and pointing to a shop marked “EXOTIC MAGIC AND BEYOND.”

We’d been in Hawaii for about a week on our spring training trip with the cross country team from college. It was an annual trip, but we always went to a different hot spot each year during spring break. This year we were working out on the Big Island, running the flanks of Mona Kea, and Chris and I had taken a day trip over to Hilo just to get away from our hotel and coach. He was pulling on my shirt as he started to walk toward the shop.

“Come on, bro. Watch the duds.”

“Fuck you, man. Never know what we might find in there. Maybe I can turn you into a frog!” Chris gave me a big shit-eating grin.

“Heh, prolly just find some bad joke magic like at Disney Land last summer.”

“Never know until we check it out!”

So we walked into the shop, neither of us knowing that the decision would change our lives forever. It really didn’t look too imposing, and I really doubt there was much magic involved. Just another grimy store in a sleepy Hawaiian town with a shopkeeper willing to take a couple of dumb jocks for all their greenbacks.

I was certainly a dumb jock – a not too solid C student who worried more about his abs and dick than about geology or modern comparative literature – but Chris took the cake. All he ever worried about was working out, partying hard, and figuring which slut he was going to unload in tonight. At least I had a steady girl friend and usually passed.

Anyhow, in we walked. I looked around only to find that most of the store was lined with shelves covered with little vials claiming to contain different elixirs and potions that would miraculously give you fifty orgasms a second or grow hair on your eyeballs and shit like that. There were a few other odds and ends, but nothing special that caught my eye. As usual, Chris found more than his share and mine combined to blow his cash on. After about twenty minutes, we walked out – we with a wallet still full enough to hit the strip clubs in hopes of finding a blowjob and Chris with a bag full of crap.

Chris seemed pretty excited about his new toys, but I didn’t give them another through. Luckily, I did find a willing mouth that night while buddy-boy got to sit at the bar watching what he couldn’t touch. Shithead. Some people just don’t have the right priorities.

The trip got over in no time. We were all amazed at how fast the two weeks went, but before we knew it the plane was landing. As we walked down the jet way, expecting to see our parents waiting there to pick us up, it suddenly struck me that I’d forgotten to get my little brother a souvenir from my trip. I had a crappy shell lei for my mom, and a Hawaiian shirt for dad, but nothing for Jimmy. I would never hear the end of it from my mom who took these things way too seriously.

I grabbed Chris by the back of the collar. “Hey, man. You got something in your bag of crap I can give my little bro? I totally spaced out on getting him something.”

“Now who’s the fuck up?” He grinned that smile that melted girls hearts and pussies. Chris was six foot three with a mop of black hair, blue eyes and the kind of body chicks couldn’t help but scope out. At six foot even, I can’t match his stride, and I don’t get the same sort of attention based on the first impressions. Hey, I’m not saying I’m a troll or anything like it – most babes think I’m hot, too, but I don’t have movie star good looks like Chris. Anyhow, I never got any complaints once they unwrapped the package and found their surprise, and that’s more than I can say for Chris. He was 5 inches hard if he had a tailwind and a farsighted measuring stick. When we were in high school together the other guys kidded Chris relentlessly in the showers cause when he got a little chilled, little Chrissie was like a turtle hiding from an alligator.

Like a trooper, he reached into his bag and pulled out a little box. It looked something like a slinky box, but all the writing was in Japanese or some shit. Whatever it was, I couldn’t read it. I reached out to take the box, but Chris grabbed my arm.

“Jimmy still plowing that Wegman kid?” His grin was almost a leer.

“Yeah, as far as I know.” Jimmy had come out to the family the previous summer and was dating Seth Wegman, another high schooler from down the street. We lived in a small town, and gossip traveled fast, so even if I hadn’t told him Chris would have known my little bro was a fag. Not that it bothered me – Jimmy was a great brother, and I couldn’t care less who he tapped. If it made him happy, it was cool with me.

“Awesome. Give him this, and he and his bud can have some fun together with it. It has English instructions inside.” I didn’t know what he was talking about, and didn’t care either. I could see mom and dad waving so I took it.

*****************************************

The drive home seemed to last longer than our whole trip had. Mom and dad both played twenty questions, while I tried to give them as little information as possible. Gah, I should have just told them about Lola or Lolita, or whatever the fuck her name was, and how good her mouth felt as she swallowed my cum. That would have shut them up at least. After what seemed like fourteen days, though it was more like two hours, we drove into the driveway and Jimmy hurried out to help me with my bags.

“Hey there, runt!”

“Screw you!” He hollered as he threw his arms around me. “How was the trip?”

“Awesome. One of these days we’re going to have to go back together. Heh, I even saw a couple of gay clubs in Hilo.”

“Oh, don’t encourage him, Ryan,” Mom exhaled from the front door exasperatedly.

“Why not? We should be happy he’s such a great kid. Cut him some slack. Hell, I bet if I had gotten straight “A”s in high school like he does, you wouldn’t have given a shit if I were straight or not!”

She waived me off dismissively and walked in the house. Jimmy was beaming at me.

“Thanks for taking up for me. It’s been a shit storm around here without you. They’re even starting to talk about sending me to some ex-gay boot camp this summer.”

“Don’t worry about it, runt. I’ll look out for you.” I roughed up his hair and hugged him. “Oh, I almost forgot. Chris and I picked you up something.” I pulled out the little box and handed it to Jimmy.

“What is it?” He turned the box over in his hands trying to figure it out.

“It’s… er… something for you and Seth to play with. Has instructions inside the box. Just a novelty toy thing. You know, just for fun.”

“You mean… a sex toy?”

“Yeah, I guess something like that.”

“Awesome! You are the best brother in the whole world. I really don’t know what would happen to me if I didn’t have you. I mean mom and dad sure don’t give a shit about me.”

“Oh, Jimmy, they love you, they just don’t understand. They will in time.”

“I guess.” There were tears in his eyes, so I hugged him close for a minute before we walked in the house.

******************************************************

Yay! School was finally out, and preseason training didn’t start until early August, so I had a whole three months to myself. I’d set a state record the previous season, so coach had worked out a new scholarship for me that paid for everything. I didn’t even have to work full-time, just goof off work to raise a little pocket change for the coming semester.

After a long, hot Greyhound ride back to town, and a short, but still hot, bus ride out to the creek, I was finally home. I was really excited. This was finally going to be a summer of freedom – not much work, mom and dad had gone to China on mission work, Rachel was home from school, too, so we could finally spend some quality time together (and by quality time, I meant in my bed since mom and dad were away). I’d even get to spend time with Jimmy helping him deal with the hell he’d been through this past year. Mom and dad had left me in charge. Things would be better for Jimmy, regardless, since he could have Seth over whenever he wanted.

I unlocked the front door, walked in. The floor sped up to meet me as something very large and solid hit the back of my head. The last thing I saw before blacking out was a pair of Doc Martin’s and beyond them Jimmy and Seth sitting in my mom and dad’s reading chairs.

*******************************************************

I woke up to the sound of someone sobbing.

The room was still spinning, and motes of black and white were spiralling around the edge of my vision. I felt like I was going to up chuck three months worth of dorm food. What the fuck was going on? I tried to speak, but my mouth was covered with something sticky and tough – it turned out to be duct tape.

I was lying prone on the floor, my arms tied in front of me, and my ankles bound. Looking this way and that, I scanned the room trying to figure it all out. Jimmy was now stroking Seth’s hair and whispering to him. Seth was staring at me with a look of pure hatred on his face. Then I saw something that really blew me away – Chris was lying on the coffee table, his arms and legs tied to the legs of the table. He was trying madly to get loose, screaming mutely into his tape gag and sobbing uncontrollably.

Standing over him was a burly man, maybe about forty. He was dressed all in black leather. Honestly, he looked like something out of a Village People parody. Black leather pants, boots, belt, shirt, vest, and even a captain’s hat. The handle bar moustache really finished off the ensemble. He was leaning over Chris’ face, talking to him quietly.

At first I couldn’t tell what the man was saying, but after I noticed Chris wetting himself, I figured I better clear my head and listen real close.

“Yes, you little fucker. You’re gunna pay. What you and your bud did deserves the worst punishment I can think of, and I can think of a lot. It’s only cause Seth and Jimmy here asked me to be nice about it that I’m only going so far. You really ought to be thankful. If it were up to me, you’d spend the next twenty-four hours screaming your way into Hell.” With that, I could smell that Chris had done more than wet himself.

“Oh look.” The man in black was looking me right in the eye. “Good, the real fucking criminal is finally awake.” He walked over to me and landed as hard a heel kick as I could possibly imagine right to my crotch. I swooned, half-way between passing out again and puking into my gag.

He leaned into my face. I could smell the dank smell of beer and cigar smoke wafting off him. “You, fucker, I might not go so easy on. Fucking Nazi pig.” He landed another heel to my balls.

“Stop, Roger.” It was Jimmy, with tears in his eyes. “What we’re going to do to them is bad enough.”

“Bah, I want to cut his guts out and make him eat them.” He spat a huge wad of tobacco juice into my face, and man did that shit burn my eyes.

“An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.” Seth whispered stonily as he walked over. He knelt down and started pounding my cock and balls with his bare fists. Nothing but some thin nylon running shorts protecting me, I writhed back and forth until Roger straddled my chest and held me still with his body weight pinning my shoulders to the floor.

It was then that I really did puke. “Oh, no you don’t,” Roger snapped as he ripped off the duct tape. “You’re not gunna take the easy way out and choke on your own chicken-shit vomit. You’re gunna sit up and take what you have comin like a man.” Then he laughed.

Seth was still wailing on me, my consciousness slipping away, as I managed to croak, “What the fuck is going on, Jimmy?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” Roger shouted as he wheeled around and leaned into my face. “After what you did, you have the gall to ask what the fuck is going on?”

Jimmy somehow managed to pull Seth off me and was know standing with his hand on Roger’s shoulder. “Get off him, and let me tell him why this is happening. I know he already knows, but I want him to hear it straight from me. He doesn’t deserve it, but I owe it to myself to do it right.”

Roger nodded, and stalked across the room to sit on the couch.

Jimmy knelt down and wiped the puke off my lips. “You know, Ryan, you were my only lifeline through all this last year – through the hell, the arguments, the grounding, through leaving home and coming back, through the counseling, the whippings, the beatings. I could always count on you to understand, to take my side with mom and dad. You lulled me into believing that, anyway. What you did was unforgivable. Not only did you hurt me and hurt Seth whom I love more than anyone in the world, but you also betrayed my trust. You used that trust to accomplish mom and dad’s whacked out plan.”

I was sputtering. What the hell could he be talking about. “Jimmy, wait a second.”

“BE SILENT, PIG!” Roger bellowed. In a flash he was back across the room with the duct tape silencing me.

“As I was saying,” Jimmy continued calmly, “you used that trust to accomplish mom and dad’s sick agenda. Now, you’re going to face the same fate, and so you experience the most pain and anguish possible, you’re going to watch your best bud and partner in crime go through it first.” Chris started sobbing uncontrollably again.

“Are we ready to get on with this?” Roger asked.

“Yes.” Jimmy walked over to Seth. “Are you sure you can do it?”

“Oh, I’m sure. After hours locked with you watching… AND FEELING… them die, I’m more than sure.” My mind was whirring to make any connection.

Jimmy turned to Roger. “Get my brother in position and make sure he watches.”

Roger hauled me up off the floor and carried me to the chair in front of the table. I was sitting about a foot from the table, and from the way Chris was tied, I was sitting about eighteen inches from the soiled crotch of his jeans. I couldn’t breathe through my mouth, so every breath filled me with his stench.

Seth knelt down beside the table and began to open a black leather bag that was the same style and color as Roger’s garb, but he hesitated.

Roger piped up, “Don’t worry kid. Make as messy a job of it as you want. These fuckers don’t deserve it done neatly.”

“No, that’s not what I was thinking, Roger.” Seth looked at Jimmy.

“What were you thinking, Seth.” My brother was by his side.

“I was thinking that these two fuckers gave us our jollies before the end. I think they deserve no less.” He looked down at Chris’ jeans and up into Jimmy’s eyes.

“Yes.” Jimmy looked at me and smiled.

Seth started unbuttoning the fly of Chris’ trousers while Jimmy walked over to Roger. “Make my brother suck his friend off. Do whatever it takes.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Roger was pushing me to my knees between Chris’ legs as Jimmy and Seth pulled off his filth-filled jeans and boxers. To my surprise, Chris’s five inches were jutting straight up and a drop of precum was trailing it’s way under the head and down the shaft. I later read that cocks really do have a mind of their own, in a way, and that somehow a man’s genitals can read subtle clues about a partner’s fidelity, that they can even sense impending death and respond accordingly to spread their seed in a last, mad attempt to propagate the species. I can only imagine Chris’ cock was responding to the same signals, trying vainly to reach out to any nearby pussy that would accept it. I found out a short time later that Chris had already learned our fate, and who knows, maybe it turned him on. I never had a chance to find out since I’ve never seen my best friend since Roger left with him.

Roger pulled out a straight razor and pushed it to my throat. “You suck his cock, boy, and you suck it til you have a belly full of jizz, or there’s gunna be a mighty big red stain on your mamma’s carpet. Don’t think I’m foolin cause I brought two body bags just in case.”

As he was pushing my head down into the filth, I could see Seth and Jimmy stripping off each other’s clothes. They were kissing, and dry humping each other as my mouth filled with Chris’ piss covered cock. As I felt the hard prick slip into my throat past too many gags, my brother turned slightly and my world fell apart.

Last time I had seen Jimmy naked, his body was exquisite. Tall for his age, his body was the perfect balance of soft and hard, muscles starting to replace baby fat. He took after mom, whereas I took after dad – he had a narrow frame and a head full of blond streaked golden hair. His body’s crowning glory, though, was a neat bush of blond pubes framing a perfectly shaped seven inch penis with two low hanging walnut-sized orbs. I’d never exhibited a gay tendency in my life before this day, but I knew Jimmy’s cock was perfect. Uncircumcised, the shaft was a dark pink, and even when he was fully hard the foreskin still covered his crown, a slightly flaring glans that was slightly thicker than the shaft.

Now it was gone. His cock just wasn’t there anymore, and I finally understood what was happening. Chris, you fucking looser. That toy! I should have known. Chris was always a homophobe – he never would have given them a sex toy they could actually enjoy. The puzzle pieces finally fell into place, and the picture I came up with wasn’t pretty. I retraced my memory of what the toy looked like – it didn’t look like a slinky, but rather like a Chinese finger trap, only bigger – big enough for two cocks to slip inside either end. I later found out that was exactly what it was: a Chinese cock trap.

As Seth’s crotch came into view, my worst fears were realized. His cock was gone, too. I bit down on Chris’ cock hard. He yelped, but he must have liked it. I didn’t think it could get any worse than having my nose buried in his sweaty, pissy bush, but as he yelped, he came. My mouth was filled with a thick salty, metallic goo. His hips were bucking hard.

“Swallow every drop.” Roger pressed the razor even harder against my throat, so I complied. It took every ounce of strength I had to hold down the rising bile in the back of my throat, but finally I had swallowed my best bud’s last load. There Chris lay, shuddering and shivering in pleasure and fear.

Roger roughly hauled me back into the chair and began to tie me secure using the duct tape. He even took a moment to duct-tape my eyelids open, and almost instantly my eyes began to burn. I now had a very good idea of what I was going to witness and experience myself. Oddly enough, it was in that moment that I realized I was hard as a rock, too. My seven and a half inches of proud cock jutting a tight tent in my skimpy onion-skin running shorts.

Raucous laughter emanated from right behind my chair as Roger noticed it, too. “Hey boys, the criminal has a boner from sucking off his friend.”

Jimmy looked up from licking and sucking Seth’s balls and began to laugh himself. “My bro’s a fag, too! Too bad you took my cock, Ryan, or you could have sucked it, too!” My heart sank. I hadn’t meant to, but I had hurt my brother worse that I could possibly imagine.

“Now the pussy’s had his fun, I get to have mine!” Seth exclaimed as he slipped back into position beside Chris’ prone form. He returned his attention to Roger’s bag and pulled out a small cloth wrapped parcel. As he unrolled it, Chris and I both saw the row of scalpels.

“Wait a second.” Jimmy looked like he had an idea, and I was hoping it wasn’t that he wanted to let Chris fuck me. Sadly, I wish he had done that instead. “How sharp is your straight razor, Roger.”

“Eh, this old thing? When it’s been stropped properly, it’ll cut a anything lightening fast, but as it is, it ain’t sharp enough to cut raw hamburger without a lot of work.” Roger grinned, getting Jimmy’s point.

“Hand it over.” Seth eagerly spurted out. “You hold his cock, Jim.”

With that it started, and Rogers hands on the sides of my head and the duct tape on my eyelids made sure I saw every agonizing stroke. It seemed like it took five minutes or more, but it couldn’t have. Chris probably only screamed through the first minute or so, and after that he was out. I wasn’t. There was so much blood. It was a miracle, or perhaps a curse the Chris survived, but as soon as the penis came loose in my brother’s hand, Roger released me and went to work.

It turns out Roger is what they call a “cutter” in the castration and penectomy community. Jimmy met him in a chat room shortly after he recovered from what my gift had done to him. When Roger heard the story, he was most eager to help Jimmy and Seth get their well deserved revenge. He was quite experienced, and in no time, he had controlled the bleeding and closed the wound. He didn’t take the time to do the humane thing and give Chris a hole behind his balls to piss through, but then Chris didn’t deserve humane treatment after what he had done. I guess neither did I.

I can’t say I was ready when Roger finished with Chris, but I was at least resigned. Resigned and amazed. I was amazed that I had the biggest boner I’d ever had and that my balls felt so full and ready to burst that just the friction with my onion-skins was nearly enough to send me into orgasm.

I looked into Jimmy’s eyes, and what I saw there amazed me, too. There was a profound sadness there, as if he’d gotten himself and me into something he couldn’t undo but wanted to. There was also a resigned resolve there. There was no going back.

He walked over to me and gently pulled off the duct tape covering my mouth and holding my eyelids open. I swallowed hard trying to hold back tears. “I’m so sorry, Jimmy.”

He stroked my hair and smiled. “I know you are. Every one is sorry when they get caught.”

“No, you don’t understand, but I’m not going to try to explain. What’s done is done, and I deserve this.” I looked down at my boner and looked back into his eyes. He was very close now. I could smell his body and feel the heat of his skin.

“Jimmy?”

“Yes, Ryan?”

“I don’t want you to have to do this. I know you, and I know you will hate yourself for it.”

Seth was irate. “You fucking bastard. I’ll do it if Jimmy can’t. You know I can.” He charged over with the bloody razor still in his hand.

Jimmy stopped him, holding up Chris’ severed penis like bait. “What do you mean, Ryan.”

“I mean.” Swallowing hard, “I mean I will do it.”

“Fuckin A!” Roger was looking at me intently.

“It’s going to happen, Seth.” Jimmy was looking his lover in the face. “And I had to cut both our cocks off after they had turned black. It’s fitting that he should do the same. And maybe since he’s doing it while his cock is still alive it makes us even.” He turned back to me and nodded.

“Just as long as you don’t take it easy on him just cause he’s your brother.” Seth wasn’t happy about this one bit.

Jimmy took the razor and slowly, tenderly began to cut away my shorts. Every time he looked up at me, a faint smile touched his lips. “I’ve wanted to suck your cock ever since the first time I first saw it, Ryan.”

I felt my heart skip a beat as my boner flopped loose and hit my sweat-soaked shirt with a thwap. Before I could say a word, he took my cock in his mouth sliding my foreskin back and forth over the head with his lips. I couldn’t help but buck my hips a little, though I tried not to. It felt so good. Taboo mixed with terror. My brother’s mouth on my cock, my cock which I was about to cut off my body. It was less than a minute before I felt my balls begin to rise. My breath was coming fast now, but I was able to sigh out for him to stop. He complied.

“I’m so close, Jimmy.”

“I know.” He put down the razor and pulled the parcel of scalpels over Chris’ inert form. He took the smallest of them and used it to cut free my left hand. I couldn’t help but wipe away the tear on his cheek. He looked down at the small scalpel and shook his head and took a larger one. The blade was longer than my dick was thick. He placed it in my hand and leaned in very close, cheek to cheek. If you are sure you can do this, do it as soon as you cum. Maybe it will hurt less. I nodded.

“Are you ready, Ryan.” My brother was quivering.

“Yes, Jimmy.”

He took me in his mouth again, letting my head lay on his tongue as his fingers looped around the shaft and began to stroke long, deep pumps. His lips locked closed and his tongue rolled around my corona. His free hand took mine and guided the scalpel to the underside of my cock. As I felt the cold metal, I couldn’t hold back any longer. My penis exploded in my brother’s mouth, but he took my load without complaint and continued to milk my doomed flesh. As our eyes met, I felt his teeth lock behind the head of my cock and pull, and I began to cut. White-hot pain seared into me as the metal bit fast and deep, but the waves of my orgasm continued with the pumping of my hips. Jimmy’s hand pulled up hard on mine, and the last thing I saw before I blacked out was my brother falling backwards with my cock still in his mouth. A streak of cum splattered his face – my body’s last vain attempt. There was no cock left, but maybe something primal inside me decided a stump was enough and let loose one last spurt.

**************************************************************

It’s been almost a year since that afternoon in my parent’s living room. An eventful year. When I finally came to, I discovered that Roger had taken Chris with him after closing me up – it turns out that Chris was a trooper in the end and admitted that I had no knowledge of what the cock trap would do. I hope that in repayment for telling the truth, Roger’s “reeducation” program didn’t end up with Chris in a body bag, but I don’t guess I’ll ever find out.

When Jimmy realized that I really was innocent, he broke it off with Seth who still didn’t believe it. Seth wanted us both dead or sold off into the white slavery market he had been reading up on. Evidently, there’s an active market for cockless and nullified American boys abroad.

Anyhow, Jimmy and I have come to a different arrangement after all that’s happened. It became clear to me that I had to get both of us out of the destructive environment that led to our penectomies, so I managed to find a lawyer who helped us emancipate Jimmy from our parents. We’re living together now, as it should be.

I sort of lucked out and was able to convince the dean to let me graduate early since I had already completed all the credits for my degree. Even through my grades were far from perfect, they were enough, and with my cross country accomplishments the school was happy to cut me a little slack.

I’m working now at an athletic store to support us while Jimmy finishes high school – he’s already gotten into Stanford, so we’ll be moving to Palo Alto next fall. Full ride! So we’ll be living in an accepting community at last. Perhaps that will help us finish the healing process that began with our commitment to each other.

That’s been the most amazing part of this whole fucked up adventure. Because of all that’s happened, Jimmy and I have found something in each other that we wouldn’t have found otherwise. It started in small ways – two boys reaching out to each other to satisfy a need that couldn’t be met the way it used to be. After all, we both still have urges, and who else was going to understand what’s happened to us and accept our limitations?

We’ve slowly inched our way back to that trusting place where we were before, and luckily we’ve moved beyond the past. In this new place where two brothers share everything we’ve found a peace we could find nowhere else. The biggest surprise is that now that looking back on all that’s happened, I can honestly say we would both do it all again.