Tim's Last Orgasm 27: Surgery

Jared lay on the table in the operating room, slightly groggy from the shot he'd been given a few minutes ago, but feeling fine. He watched with fascination as the nurse took his penis in her hand and slid the catheter into it and on up until his bladder emptied into the rubber hose. He was having very mixed feelings about this whole adventure as the staff scurried about, getting everything ready. It wasn't so much that he was thinking he didn't want to go through with it, but last night with Carlos had been so special he was beginning to wish he could have one more day as a whole male so he could do it again. Why couldn't he have done it before at least once, so his first experience wouldn't also be his last?

"I guess we're all set," the doctor said as the nurse taped his penis to his belly. "You ready to become a eunuch, Jared?"
"Y-yes, sir," Jared answered, not at all sure any more that he really was ready. The sensations coming from his groin were telling quite another story though. Nervous as he was, and with all the apprehension he was feeling, he still could feel the aching, throbbing of the most sensational erection he had ever had. He was lying there looking at his penis with the rubber tube coming out of the end, and it was totally flaccid and at peace; still he could feel himself hard as a rock and ready for action. Little did it know, he thought to himself, its days, its very hours, were numbered now.
"Ok, here we go," the doctor said as he took his position between Jared's legs. "If you change your mind and want to be put to sleep, just say the word. I'm going to be doing this differently than I usually would since you're having your penis off as well. I'll be cutting your scrotum all along the top front, just under your penis, because I'll be using it later to cover the entire site."

Jared nodded and watched with fascination as he saw, but did not feel the doctor make a slice at the top of his ball sac, then down both sides to open the sac like a bag with a zipper. There were his balls, much smaller than he had expected. "I have to clamp these connecting cords before I cut them," the doctor explained. "After they are cut and your testicles are removed, I'll cauterize the wound, then it'll start to get bloody. I can still sew you back up, but in five more minutes you'll be de-manned, unless you tell me otherwise."
"Go for it!" Jared exclaimed with a slurred speech.

Jared was amazed at how easily and swiftly the deed was done. Dr. Smith took his right ball in his hand and pulled the cord taught, then applied a clamp. As he did so Jared felt a slight tug deep inside him. The doctor took a small pair of surgical scissors and snipped, and the clamped cord dangled free. The doctor dropped the severed testicle into a small stainless steel bowl, then repeated the process with the left one. "Ok, Jared, you're now a eunuch," he said as he snipped the cord.
"Funny, I don't feel any different," Jared remarked.
"You will," the doctor promised. "It might take a few weeks, but you will. You will become more calm, less intense, and you'll probably have hot flashes for a while. At your age it's always difficult to predict exactly how intense the side effects will be, but your body will remind you from time to time that it no longer has testosterone."

As he spoke, the doctor took a small gizmo that looked something like a penlight and touched it to the clamped cords that now had a slight bit of blood where they had been cut. When he pushed a button on the end, there was a puff of smoke and a mild burning odor as the cords were cauterized. "This will prevent the cords from bleeding when I remove the clamps," he explained. "After I take them off, the cords will slither back into your body, so we don't want any internal bleeding. In a few months they will just dissolve and disappear."

"There's a mirror above you," the nurse told him. "For the next part of the surgery you might find it easier to see by watching the mirror. If you need it adjusted just let me know."
"It looks fine," Jared said as he looked up. Then to his astonishment he watched the doctor start cutting away some flesh, working up into the opening he had already made to do the castration. "Don't worry about all the blood," the doctor commented when he saw Jared's concerned expression. "It looks a whole lot worse than it is. We'll get the bleeding stopped as soon as I get the rest of your penis exposed. I'll be taking the entire thing off in one piece, then we'll cut it off the catheter."

Jared could feel some tugging and probing deep in his groin as the doctor worked, feeling around with his fingers to find the attaching cords, blood vessels and nerves. It wasn't pain so much as it was a gentle, rather unpleasant sensation to feel activity where he'd never felt it before. "These are the large blood vessels that cause you to have erections," the doctor explained. "I'll be suturing them closed and then cauterizing them before I cut them, then I'll begin the serious cutting process. Are you sure you want to be awake for all this?"
"Actually no," Jared replied. He was beginning to feel a bit queasy, so when Dr. Sanchez offered to put him out he accepted. Seconds later, as Dr. Smith continued to work, Jared felt his left hand grow numb, then that numbness moved up his arm and his entire body was engulfed in darkness. "I'll do a good job on you, I promise," he heard Dr. Smith's voice as if from a great distance, and then the blackness was complete.

***************************

"There's going to be a slight delay before Dr. Smith is ready," a pretty Mexican nurse said to Nathan as she slid the catheter into his penis. Nathan was so incredibly high at that point he couldn't have cared less it he had to wait five days. He was also amused, almost giddy, because he could feel himself incredibly hard yet he was looking at a nurse shoving a tube up a very soft, flaccid prick. HIS prick! Years later he would still be unable to explain it, but he somehow thought feeling an incredible, rock hard erection while watching a pretty girl work on his very soft penis about the funniest thing he'd seen all year.
"I'sshhhh Oooookaaaaaayy," Nathan slurred." He felt so warm and cozy he could have stayed here forever. His increasing apprehension had been noticed by the nurse who was preparing him, so she had given him an extra large dose of narcotic to calm him, much against the doctor's wishes. He felt the catheter slide into him, then the odd feeling as his bladder drained without his having willed it. After the catheter was in place and his crotch had been swabbed with antiseptic, his left hand invaded by the IV needle that would administer the anaesthetic, Nate was left alone. Soon he began to doze.

*******************************

Terry didn't have to ask what his coach was doing here, his keen mind had already figured it out. There could only be one reason why a man of legal age would come all the way to Cancun to correct his "medical condition." Terry knew from all the time he'd spent on eunuch sites that some folks believe testosterone can sometimes cause a male to be overly aggressive, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that Coach Masterson had, or at least thought he had, that precise problem. Exactly what all he was having removed was still unknown, but Terry knew one thing for certain: Coach Masterson was here to be castrated, if indeed it hadn't already happened. The coach, on the other hand, was somewhat in the dark as to why his star basketball player was here. "Can we talk for a minute, Terry?" he asked.
"Sure," Terry said as he reached the cubicle to which he had been directed. The curiosity was killing both man and boy, so Terry directed his coach into the small cubicle. As soon as they were inside, Terry began to beg. "Please, sir," he pleaded, "I hope I can count on you not to tell anybody I'm here."
"I'm hardly in a position to tell anyone about you," Masterson said. "I was just about to make the same request of you. Knowing the male ego as I do, I'm not at all confident that I could command the kind of respect a coach has to have if the whole team knew I am a eunuch. But I've gotta ask, Terry, why on earth are you here?"

Before Terry could think of an answer that he thought would fly, the coach remembered. "Wait a sec!" he exclaimed. "Tim! Tim Chandler is your brother, right? And he had his penis cut off two years ago. That's why you're here, isn't it Terry? You're having a penectomy!"
"Yes, sir, I am," Terry replied.
"So... there wasn't any ‘Condition' that demanded Tim have his penis cut off, was there?"
"Actually there was," Terry said, trying desperately to recover control of the situation. "It wasn't cancer or anything like that and Tim never said that it was. Larry Morgan started that rumor to make it easier for Tim in the locker room, but he never said exactly what it was."

Terry then explained the whole scenario, how Larry had lied without really lying, allowing everyone to form their own conclusions knowing full well what those conclusions would be. "But what about you?" a very confused coach questioned. "Do you have the same inexplicable desire? I know that Tim's gay, but I'm pretty sure you're not. Actually you have a girl friend if I'm not mistaken. Don't you realize..."
"I realize," Terry said. "I'd really rather not explain my reasons, Coach. But please believe me, it's not some sort of religious cult, and it's not just trying to be like my big brother, and it's not some family thing. I'm not being abused and I don't hate my cock, it's just something I've got to do. But Coach, if you lose your balls, you'll be..."
"Hopefully I'll be more calm and in control," the coach interrupted. "I owe you boys that much."
"You... you're doing it for us?" Terry said with amazement. "You're doing it for the basketball team?"
"All the teams," the coach corrected. "Yes I am, Terry. But I'm doing it for myself too. I realized when it looked like I was gonna lose my position at the school how much I love you kids and how much I need you. My wife left me years ago, probably for the same reason our team fell apart last month, so I decided I had to do something before I lost everything I love. I have no family of my own and never will, so you kids are my family."

Just then the nurse showed up to get Terry ready for surgery. The coach left after securing a promise from Terry that they'd talk later. Terry realized after he'd left that he didn't know if the castration had already been done or not. It really didn't matter though, he knew the next time he saw his coach he would be a eunuch.

As the nurse puttered around, preparing her instruments and gadgets, Terry realized that he'd got so hard while he was talking to the coach his cock was throbbing. When he moved his hand discreetly to his crotch, he was astonished to discover that he was still as flaccid as he had ever been. My first phantom erection! he exclaimed to himself. Tim had told him about them but he could never bring himself to believe that they could feel as real as Tim had described, but now he knew better.

"I... I don't want a shot," Terry said nervously when he saw the nurse preparing a needle.
"It'll help you relax," the nurse said without looking at him. "Your blood pressure is sky high and your pulse rate is in the danger zone. We need to get you calmed down, Terry. You're not gonna give us any trouble are you?"
"No, Ma'am, I guess not," Terry said as he stood and produced his bare butt.

***********************

Nate was jarred awake as two men in white wheeled him into the OR. He looked around for Jared, but they told him that Dr. Smith was just finishing his surgery in another room where he would be finished up by Dr. Gonzalez. He would soon be in the recovery room, they told him. "You're the star performer now," a pleasant nurse told him as she adjusted some equipment. Nate could hardly speak at all now. His entire face was somewhat numb, but his mind seemed to have cleared sufficiently that he was very aware of his surroundings and what was about to happen to him.

There was a part of him, a very large part, that was driving him to scream at them to stop, that he'd changed his mind. Then he thought of Tim and he knew that somehow he had to go through with it. He let his mind wander to one of the stories he'd read on the Internet. The setting was a thousand years ago when castration and nullification were a lot more common and socially acceptable than they are now. It seemed to Nate that it would have been easier back then because nullified males were not uncommon, so he allowed his fantasy to take over as the surgery team prepared to do their task. As his fantasy began to form in his mind, he was aware that he was having one of the most intense, the most incredible erections in his life; yet he could see his cock and it was still as flaccid as it had ever been.

Nate was now a slave.... no, not a slave, Jared could not live with the concept of slavery, even in his fantasies. He was just the third son of a wealthy businessman in a world where the law required that only the first two boys in any one family be allowed to retain their powers of procreation. As the two nurses adjusted his IV and prepared the trays of surgical instruments, Nate imagined that they were strapping him down to the table. Since this surgery was not a castration for punishment but a means of population control, he had been given the choice of castration or penectomy. They would be kind and give him pain killers, but he had no choice in the matter, nor did his parents. He had known since he was 8 years old that this day would come, and that fantasy somehow made it easier now that the day was here.

As Nate got more into his fantasy, it got the better of his emotions and his eyes filled with tears. Dr. Sanchez, who had just come into the room and was checking Nate's blood pressure noticed the tears and took Nate's hand. "Are you ok, Nathan?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," Nate said as he started back to reality. "I'm sorry, I was daydreaming."
"If you're having some fantasy, it's ok," the kind doctor said. "It's quite common, really. Most of my patients involve themselves in some sort of fantasy just before their surgery and I encourage it because it puts the reality of what's happening more in line with their inner feelings. But I have to know before I put you to sleep, are you really sure you're ok with this?"
"No, sir, I'm not ok with it at all. But I have to do it. I'll be ok, Doctor."

The doctor paused and looked Nate directly in his glassy eyes. There he saw sincerity and deep emotion, but he also saw truth. He wasn't sure it was the right thing to do, but he nodded to Dr. Smith who nodded back, then he slowly pushed the plunger on the needle in his hand and watched as his patient drifted to unconsciousness.

*******************

Terry was the least fortunate of the trio. He had been placed on a stretcher in a sort of holding room because both the OR's were still busy - one with Jared who was just getting the last of his stitches, and Nathan, who was just having the first incision made. It would be another hour before Jared's room was ready for him. The nurse had offered him a little more narcotic to help him during the wait and he was just about to accept when he noticed Coach Masterson in the bed next to him. Suddenly he wanted to talk to the coach. In his drugged state he was in no condition to do any negotiating, and that wasn't his objective anyway; he just wanted to talk.

"I really would like to play for you next year, if you think it'd be ok," he said. "I mean, whatever I did I'm kinda afraid I might do it again."
"You didn't do anything, Terry," Masterson said. "I'm ashamed to tell you what set me off so violently, but trust me, it was nothing you did, and the only way you could have prevented it would be if you weren't such a great player. But don't you ever stop playing and trying, kid. You keep on the way you're playing, and you're gonna be really something! In case you didn't know, the scouts are already watching you."
"Thanks, coach," Terry said. He would probably have blushed after such a comment, but he was simply too high and relaxed to be embarrassed by much of anything. "We got a bit of a problem if I play at Midwestern next year though."
"A problem?" the coach inquired.
"Well, yeah," Terry said. "I mean, first Terry shows up with no penis and everybody thinks he lost it ‘cause of some disease. But I really don't think that story would fly again. I don't know how I can face that locker room after... after today."

The coach thought for a while, then said softly, "I suppose postponing the surgery for two more years isn't an option?"
"No, sir, it's not," Terry answered. Before he'd even finished getting the words out, a voice inside began screaming at him, demanding to know why not. Wouldn't it make everything easier? the voice demanded. The problem of the locker room would be solved, as would three years of trying to conceal the situation from his parents. Lots of boys his age did without sex until they were 16, some even longer. So for at least 2 years a sexless relationship with Laura wouldn't be that uncommon. Nevertheless he had already told his coach there would be no delay.
"So if I'm hearing you correctly, you're willing to give up your basketball career rather than cancel surgery today?"
"No, I'm not willing," Terry replied. "I'm really hoping I won't have to make that choice; but if that's what it takes, I'll have to do it." Again the doubts flooded his mind. He had been so looking forward to playing college basketball, maybe even playing on a championship team. Was he really prepared to give all that up? Terry knew that Laura was behind him all the way in his athletic endeavors, and if she'd had any idea the choice he was facing now, he knew she would encourage him to postpone the surgery. But he also knew as hard as it was now, it would only get harder in the future.
"That makes it clear enough," the coach said. "I'll see if I can come up with something. If I do can I count on you next fall?"
"I don't like to make it a condition, but that's probably what it comes down to," Terry said.

Minutes later, an orderly announced that the OR was ready for Terry. "But wasn't Mr. Masterson here before I was?" he protested. Now HE wasn't ready.
"It's ok," the coach said. "I'm only getting a simple castration, and the doctor already told me he had three more major surgeries and they come first. He'll work me in when he can. You just take care of yourself in there, ok?"
"Yeah man," Terry said as they began to wheel him into the OR. "Thanks, Coach."

*****************************

"Tim, can you and I go for a drive?" Carlos said as they sat in the waiting room. "Those guys are probably all asleep now and they won't start waking up for several hours. It's gonna be a long wait."
"I... I guess so," Tim replied. "Laura, you wanna come?"

Laura saw the pleading look in Carlos' eyes, and she knew somehow that he wanted to talk to Tim alone. She had no idea why, but she decided to let them have their talk. "You two go ahead," she said. "I brought a book, so I'll just sit here where it's air conditioned and read." Laura had taken an instant liking to Carlos even before she'd met him, knowing how much of a help he'd been when Tim was doing his research. In many ways, she knew that Carlos was directly responsible for the scholarships that she and Tim were now enjoying.

Tim was somewhat doubtful, but Laura convinced him that she would hold down the fort, if there were any holding to be done. Carlos went to the front desk and asked them to page him if anything untoward happened, and finally he had Tim alone in his truck. "I got the feeling that you were curious about what happened with Gina and me," he said as soon as they were out of sight of the clinic.
"A little I guess," Tim admitted. "I realize these things happen though, so if you'd rather not talk about it..."
"No, I want to tell you," Carlos said. "I wasn't gonna say anything, but I decided I owe it to both of us to tell you."
"Both of us?"

Carlos pulled the truck into the motel parking lot and got out. Tim followed, and Carlos led him directly to Tim and Nate's room. "We coulda walked," he commented as he unlocked the door.
"I suppose," Carlos answered absently. "Actually I was gonna just drive around, but I decided we could... err... talk better in here, where it's quiet."
"You seem really nervous, Carlos," Tim observed. "Why don't you just relax? This is me! Tim! Shit man, you weren't this nervous the first time we met! What gives?"

"Tim, after you left, I... I was so lonely I kinda got involved with Gina," Carlos began, ignoring Tim's remarks. "She really is a lot of fun and we've always got along really well, but... it just wasn't the same, Tim. First of all we weren't having sex and both of us were ok with that, at first. Then we decided we'd go ahead and do it, but I couldn't do it, Tim!"
"You couldn't?" Tim inquired. "You couldn't do what?"
"Anything," Carlos answered. "I mean... all the time I was making love to her I was thinking of you, and I couldn't finish. I mean, I couldn't climax!"
"But I don't understand..." Tim said, wishing he could change the subject to just about anything in the world. "I thought... I mean, once you got hard..."
"I didn't STAY hard, Tim!" Carlos confessed. "I went soft before I could cum. It just didn't do anything for me. It was YOU I wanted, Tim!"

Carlos was standing, facing Tim. He was so close Tim could feel his hot breath when he spoke. He could also see two dark, very misty eyes; those same eyes that he'd looked into two years ago with love and seen the same love coming back at him. That same love was still there! He could almost feel Carlos' desire to take him in his arms.

Now Tim was starting to panic. He sensed where this conversation was going, and he didn't want to go there no matter what. But once Carlos had begun talking there was no stopping him, in more ways than one. "I was just thinking..." he continued somewhat hesitantly as he slipped his arms around Tim's neck, "Tim, I'm pretty sure I must be gay, and I know I'm still in love with you. I was kinda hoping you'd help me find out... you know... so I won't always be flipping back and forth between gay and straight, changing my mind depending on who I'm with. I was hoping... I mean, while the guys are all in surgery... if we could... you know, for old times' sake..."
"You want us to get it on?" Tim said with astonishment. "Behind Nate's back?"

Carlos sat down on the side of the bed, taking Tim's hand as he went and pulling him down alongside him. "It's not like I was tryin' to break you two up," he said. "I can tell that's not gonna happen any time soon. We had such a great time when you were here before, I just thought you could... you know... maybe help me make sure... It's not like it's gonna do any harm, and no one ever has to know if you want it that way."
"I thought you would have made some discoveries last night with Jared," Tim commented.
"That was different," Carlos explained. "That was fun and we both enjoyed it, but we're not in love, Tim. I did that out of... well, I guess a sense of obligation as much as anything, seeing that he'd never done anything like that before. But I was hoping and you and I... I mean... We were so much in love two years ago... I can't believe that's completely gone. I know it's not gone for me."
"It's not gone for me either, Carlos," Tim defended. "But things have changed. My love for you is... is more like a brother. I really care about you, but..."

Tim knew as soon as the words were out that he'd said the wrong thing. Carlos already knew he had been intimate with Terry, and now he had just called Carlos his brother! He thought of the possibilities and realized that an hour or two in bed with Carlos was not at all unattractive to him. Carlos had a killer body, and he had all of it and knew how to use it; that much Tim knew for a fact. He felt his phantom erection spring to life as he thought of all the things he could do with Carlos that he would never do again with Nate. He made a mental note to ask Dr. Smith about those phantom erections. They should surely have gone away by now, but if anything they were more intense than ever, especially right now! And right now, more than ever, he thanked God that they were indeed phantom and detectable to no one but him.

In his mind, Tim traveled the short distance to the medical clinic and the OR, where Nate was at this very moment having his penectomy. His active imagination saw Nate's beautiful unconscious body lying naked on the table. There were nurses and doctors everywhere, with Dr. Smith between Nate's spread legs. Tim saw blood - blood everywhere! He's doing it for YOU, you perverse piece of shit! a voice inside him said none too kindly. Here you are, getting ready to break your promise to him, to show how little he means to you at the very same instant that he is fulfilling his vow to you! You promised his mother on your honor, and she believed you! Are you out of your fucking mind?

"I can't," Tim exclaimed. "We shouldn't even be here, Carlos! My place is back there at the clinic, with Nate! And Terry and Jared!
"None of them ever has to know, Tim," Carlos repeated.
"I'll know," Tim said firmly. "I'll know that while Nate was fulfilling his promise to me, demonstrating his love and commitment to me, I was breaking mine to him. I was out getting it on with someone who still has his cock! If he ever found out it would kill him!"
"But how would he ever find out, Tim?" Carlos demanded.
"I'd tell him, that's how! That's the kinda relationship we have, Carlos. We have no secrets, and if I show up with a secret after he wakes up, he'll know. I'll feel so guilty I'll spit it all out and he'll be devastated. That was one of the things he was worried about, that I wouldn't be satisfied with him after his surgery. I can't, Carlos. I just can't! His commitment is my commitment. I agreed to it on the understanding that we would both face a life without cock. He didn't want to do it at all, but he felt he had to. I'm sorry, Carlos, but I can't."

Carlos was almost in tears now: tears for what he'd had but never would again; tears for the desperation he was feeling; tears of frustration and disappointment. Tim was tempted to point out that he had gone through this very frustration after Carlos had told him it was over, but he thought better of it. It would serve no purpose to hurt him any more than he was already hurting, so he let it go. "I'd better get back, Carlos," he whispered. Carlos nodded silently and got up off the bed. "Would you... would you at least kiss me... please?" he pleaded.

Tim did. It was a long, slow, passionate kiss. As their tongues did a ballet in their mouths, Tim was glad for the time they'd had two years ago, and he knew, sooner or later, anyone as passionate as his young Mexican friend would find someone, and he was glad.

***********************

Terry had another wait once he was in the OR and connected to all the regular devices. They'd had some "minor problems" with Nathan, they told him, and Dr. Smith had told them not to start on Terry just yet. "Is he ok?" Terry questioned as he tried to sit up.
"He's fine," the nurse assured him. "It's just taking a little longer than we'd planned.

Now as he lay on the operating table, his legs in stirrups and his crotch exposed, he was thinking, and as he thought he became more and more unsure, more nervous. A nurse noticed his vitals going crazy again and slipped a small hypodermic into his IV. "I'm just giving you another small shot to help you relax. It won't knock you out or muddle your brain, it'll just help you to calm down."

Terry did calm down. As the Demerol kicked in, he suddenly felt warm and cosy, almost comfortable. He was no longer humiliated at being in such a position in front of any and all who cared to look. His speech was slurred terribly, but his mind still seemed to him to be as sharp as ever. So he continued to mull over in his mind his options and their consequences. He thought of school; the locker room; his life at home. He thought of Laura and what their lives would be like together. She could still get pregnant when the time came, Dr. Smith had assured him. They could simply induce a prostate orgasm, collect the semen and deposit it into Laura's body. "In some ways it's easier that way," the doctor had told him. "We can determine precisely when she is most likely to get pregnant, and we can deposit the sperm closer to where it needs to be." But still Terry wasn't sure.

Finally Dr. Gonzalez came into the OR. "We're about ready to start, finally," he announced. "Nathan is off the ventilator and breathing on his own now, so I'll be putting you to sleep and getting you stabilized. Are you ok, Terry?"
Terry nodded. "V-ve-e-e-n-n-nt-t-t-latr-r-r-r?" he slurred, concerned for his friend.
"It's normal," the doctor assured him. "When I put you to sleep, you're so deeply unconscious your body can't breathe on its own so a machine has to do it for you. As soon as I withdraw the anaesthetic, your body takes over again, but sometimes it takes a little while. But you'll be fine, and in about a minute you won't be feeling a thing. Are you ready?"

Terry nodded again, then watched in fascination as the doctor prepared something in a syringe and stuck the needle into his IV. Suddenly the finality of what was about to happen struck him full in the face. He was watching the plunger being pushed home, feeling the slight cold, then numbness radiate from his hand, and he knew he had to stop it. He just wasn't ready. "NOOOOO!" he screamed just as blackness overtook him.

************************

Jared opened his eyes, he thought, mere seconds after he had closed them. He found himself looking directly into the eyes of a pretty Mexican nurse who had been wiping his face with a damp cloth. "Hello, Jared," she said cheerily with a Hispanic accent. "How do you feel?"
"K-kina groggy," he replied. "Is it over?"
"It's all over," she said as she checked his pulse. "Dr. Smith said your operation went very well. He is very pleased with the result."

Jared's hands went without his willing them to his crotch, where he found a surprisingly small bandage; so small, in fact, that he could easily feel that there was nothing under it, unless one could count some very sore stitches. He found the catheter exiting the bandage and smiled with satisfaction that it was a lot lower than it had been. He probed around a little more and found the two little drainage bags that Tim told him would be there. He smiled again, then moved his hand back to touch the area where his genitals had been. "Do you need something for pain?" the nurse offered when she noticed him grimace.
"No thank you, Ma'am," he said with a smile of satisfaction. He was experiencing some pain, but he had learned from his research that he would be up and around more quickly if he could allow himself to endure at least some discomfort. Right now, though, he knew he couldn't get up and didn't even want to. As long as he lay still he was comfortable, almost floating in some sort of twilight zone. When he tried to raise his head to look for Terry and Nate, though, a bolt of pain invaded his head that convinced him he should just lie quietly and let the drugs in his system wear off.

"Your friends are still in surgery," the kind nurse said when she saw him try to look around. "One of them should be out any minute now, but the other one will be a while."
"Are... are they ok?" Jared managed to ask through the fog that clouded his consciousness.
"They're fine, as far as I know," she answered. She offered him a pain injection again, but again he refused, saying he'd settle for something to eat. That she refused, saying the only thing he could have for now was water. Jared accepted, then discovered that it was all he could do to make his lips form around the straw and suck up a mouthful. Somewhat discouraged that he couldn't just hop off the gurney he was on and walk back to the motel, he settled back down and was soon asleep.

Tim was dozing when Dr. Smith came into the waiting room, still dressed in his green scrubs, his mask hanging on his chest. "Can you come back to the recovery room please, Tim?" he said as he gently shook his shoulder. "Nathan is asking for you."
"Is something wrong?" Tim asked with a start, assuming the worst.
"He's ok. He's still a little drowsy, but he begged and pleaded for us to come get you."

Drowsy wasn't the word Tim would have used to described the young teen. He looked half dead when Tim entered the recovery room. Jared was there too, but obviously fast asleep. Nate was staring straight up at the ceiling and didn't notice his lover come in until Tim was standing directly over him. "It's done," he said as he broke into a broad smile. "It's gone, Tim. We're the same! That's our bond, Tim. Some folks have wedding rings, we have no penis."
"I know," Tim said as he smiled back. "You feeling ok?"
"I'm kinda sick feeling, but I'm ok, in fact I've never been as ok as I am now. I feel like... like we're married now. I love you, Tim."
"I love you too, man," Tim returned as he hugged him. Tim was suddenly overwhelmed by the gravity of what he'd almost done with Carlos. He knew now that he would have destroyed everything, and he was thankful for that voice inside him, wherever it had come from.

"We had quite a time with him," Dr. Smith said to Tim. "The connective tissue was a lot deeper than we expected. That thing of his gave us quite a fight before we finally got it to cooperate and come quietly. He'll probably be sore longer than you were, Tim."
"I'll take care of him," Tim promised. Then it occurred to him that the doctor was not in the OR, and he wondered about Terry. "Where's my brother?" he asked.
"He'll be out in a few minutes," the doctor replied. "He's still sound asleep, but he's fine."

Just as the doctor finished speaking, a set of double doors opened and another gurney was wheeled into the recovery room. Terry was so still it frightened Tim, but the doctor assured him the boy was only deeply asleep. "He'll sleep for another hour or so," the doctor said. "In the meantime you might as well go back to the waiting room and relax. I see Nathan has fallen back to sleep."
"Could I... could I see you for a few minutes?" Tim asked. "There's something I want to discuss with you."
"I have one small castration procedure to finish up," the doctor answered. "If you like, just go through that door and down the hall. You'll find my office at the end with the name on the door. Just go in and make yourself comfortable, and I'll be there shortly."

************************

It was almost an hour before the doctor appeared. "Sorry I was so long," he said, "I had more to do than I'd planned. So what did you want, Tim? I hope there's not problem?"
"Actually there is," Tim said nervously. "I've been wanting to talk to you ever since we got here, but I decided it could wait until you were finished. I want to try and get you to reconsider your new policy."
"Policy?" the doctor asked, and then he realized what Tim was talking about. "Oh, you mean about the age limits?"
"Yes, sir, that's what I mean. I don't think it's fair that you're making guys wait until they're 18."
"I didn't make Nathan and Terry wait," the doctor pointed out.
"That's only because I had authority to sign for both of them, Dr. Smith. And you've gotta admit, that was a pretty unusual situation. Most guys wouldn't be so lucky."

Dr. Smith sat in his chair heavily. He was obviously tired, having spent the entire day in surgery. "Tim, after your surgery, you gave us all quite a scare. Some of those emails you sent Carlos had us wondering if you were going to do something desperate."
"That wasn't because of the surgery," Tim returned. "I admit I was pretty depressed, but it wasn't because I had no penis. It was... well... more personal than that, and a lot more complicated."
"You're talking about the fact that Carlos took up with that girl Gina, right?"
"Partly. That was always our agreement, that if we found someone else it was ok, considering how far apart we are."
"But you took it very hard, Tim. And the surgery you had is so very permanent. We are making a lot of money here at the clinic doing the mods that we do, and we really don't need the extra hassle of dealing with underage boys. We could be sued even if we are in Mexico, to say nothing of the criminal charges we could face when we travel to the US. And there is also the guilt of knowing we've done something we should not have done. What if you had committed suicide?"

Now Tim was getting angry. "So that's it?" he accused. "All this time it's all been about money? All that talk about how you realized that some people have needs, REAL needs, and that you understand that needs do not always come after you're an adult, all that was just so much bullshit? Is that what you're saying, Dr. Smith?"
"Tim, whether you like to admit it or not, this is a business, with over a hundred people on staff. I have to think of them too."
"Yeah, I know," Tim said bitterly. "Now I know why you hired those goons to get me castrated. You figured once my balls were gone I would become a pussycat and forget any ideas I had of suing you. Well, thanks for nothing, Dr. Smith!"

Tim continued to rant and rave about money-grubbing doctors, how all they cared about was making a buck and gave no consideration to patients and their needs. Dr. Smith sat and listened, not saying anything nor offering arguments. Finally Tim was so worked up, had so infuriated himself that the tears began to stream down his cheeks as he continued his rant. When he was finished, he just sat looking the doctor in the eye, tears streaming down his cheeks. He wasn't crying, exactly, but he wasn't NOT crying either.

"If you're finished, I'd like to tell you something you probably didn't know," Dr. Smith said quietly. "While I tell you, I'd like you to calm down a little, and we'll discuss this like two adults. Believe it or not, Tim, I heard the same deluge of insults you just heaped on me not that long ago, but whether you like it or not it came from my own son. After Carlos had broken up with you and you continued to send him emails, they were sounding increasingly depressed and desperate. He got concerned about your safety, and that's when he began sharing them with me. Like the rest of us, he misinterpreted your depression. I understand now that it was grief over losing Carlos that you were suffering, but none of us knew that at the time. Carlos thought that you were simply missing your penis, had realized what you had done to yourself and were going crazy with remorse. He called me names that a son should never call his father, Tim. He cares for you more than I thought possible for one person to care for another, whether you are lovers or not."

"I... I'm sorry, Tim said when he realized all the things he'd said. "I don't usually get so carried away, but this is so important, Doctor. If I hadn't found you, there's no telling what I might have done to achieve the penectomy I needed so badly. I'm sorry sir, but I plead with you, won't you please reconsider?"
"I've already done that, Tim," the doctor said. "As of right now, the age of consent for this clinic is 16, not 18. All your ranting hasn't been in vain after all. I had no idea it was so important to you. But I still don't understand why."
"Because I can't believe I'm the only one out there who has this urgent need, Dr. Smith," Tim replied. I'll be the first to admit that I wish I had my penis back, especially now that I have a lover; but I know if I had it back right now I'd be scheduling surgery as soon as I could to have it off. There's just something in me that would make me do it all again. I just don't want anybody to die because they're desperate and can't find a facility like yours. And then there's Nate and Terry, who had their surgery today only because I signed for them."

Tim then went on to tell Nate's story, how he had pleaded with Tim to go along with his penectomy, that he considered it the ultimate commitment to his gay lover. He told of Nate's father, whom he had met for the first time at his 16th birthday party and what Valerie had told him as a result. He related the story of his brother, how Terry and Laura were deeply committed to each other despite his tender age, but how Terry was afraid he'd be tempted to seek sex elsewhere unless there was some impediment; and what better impediment than a missing penis?

The discussion would have gone on, but there was a light knock on the door. A nurse opened the door and stuck her head in at the doctor's invitation and said "Terry's just waking up. I think you'd better come, doctor." The doctor did, followed right on his heels by Tim who insisted that if there was a problem with his brother, he wanted to be there.

Next: XXVIII Terry's Awakening