“So, kid, what’s your problem?”

          That was Judy talking to her best friend Annie.  Judy could always tell when Annie wanted to unload her troubles.  It wasn’t for nothing that they had been best friends since third grade.

“It’s this obsession of Bill’s,” Annie said, referring to her husband.

Judy arched her eyebrows inquisitively in a way that made words unnecessary.

“It’s this…this obsession he has had ever since he learned from his best friend Pete O’Rourke what Pete’s wife Suzy had agreed to.

Another arching of the eyebrows.  It was wonderful for two women to be on so much the same wavelength that many words could be dispensed with.

“Suzy agreed to have her clitoris and pussy lips surgically removed, and it’s been done,” Judy said.

If Judy was expecting a shocked reaction from her best girlfriend, she didn’t get it.  All Annie said was, “is that all?” leaving Judy wondering just what she meant.

“And now,” Judy said, “Bill is obsessed with me having the same thing done.”

“And?” Annie said, still unfazed.

“And? And? Give up all chance of orgasm? Annie, don’t you understand what he’s talking about.”

“Of course I do, honey,” Annie said, “and so do a lot, lot more women than you could imagine.”

“But would you…? I mean if you love a guy, I know you want to please him, but would you…?  I mean hypothetically?”

“There’s nothing hypothetical about it,” Annie said.  I had it done two years ago, and it’s the smartest thing I ever did.”

“You…but I mean, what about orgasms?”

“Tell me honey, has Bill ever given you an orgasm?” Annie asked.

“We-e-e-ll…”

“Judy, you’ve answered my question.  Mother Nature just got it wrong.  The idea is that when a guy fucks a gal, her pussy lips rub together and she gets an orgasm.  But with us that takes maybe fifteen minutes.  How long does Bill take when he makes love to you?”

“Maybe a couple of minutes….”

“See.”  So orgasm during sex just means us women faking it.”

“And…masturbation?”

“Lying on the bed grunting and fingering ourselves and

Desperately trying to get ourselves off for a split second of pleasure.  Believe me, honey, you’ll be better off without it.  You’ll be able to concentrate on the really important things in life, like…”

“Like shoes?”

“Like shoes!” Annie said, and they both laughed, for they were both successful career women and nevertheless obsessed with shoes.

“But Annie, Bill doesn’t just want my to have my clitoris and labia removed, he also wants to have my pussy sewn up so there’s just a hole for my period. That means he’ll be going around with other women in order to get his rocks off….”

“Honey,” Annie said, “let me tell you how to handle this, based on my own experience.”

* * *

That evening, over supper, Judy looked up at Bill, and said, “darling, I’ve been thinking it over, and I’m willing to have it don.”

“Darling, you mean…?” Bill said.  His eyes gleamed with excitement at the though of his wife being completely de-sexed.  “Yes,” Judy said, “but there’s a condition.”

“Namely?”

“Look, once I’m de-sexed, you’re going to start running around with other women, right?”

“W-e-e-ll” Bill said a bit sheepishly, not daring to deny it.

“No need to ask farther.  I’m willing to have my clit and pussy lips removed, but you have to have a penectomy and be castrated.  That way I won’t have to worry about you falling for another woman whose honey pot you’re sampling.”

“Now wait a minute….” Bill stammered.

“Fair’s fair!” Judy said.  “It’s that or nothing!”

“Let me think it over….” Bill said, torn between the possibility of having his obsession of his wife being de-sexed and the price she was asking.

“Look,” Judy said, “you’re a good friend of my girlfriend Annie’s husband Jim.  He’s had it done.  Ask him.”

She paused a moment and then – following her friend Annie’s advice, said “and I’ll throw in a sweetner: I’ll undergo a hysterectomy, so that with the period eliminated, by pussy can be totally closed up, like it never existed.  I’ll just have the separate pee-hole.

* * *

“Cheap at the price,” Jim said to Bill on being consulted.  Look, with Judy’s pussy sewn up like you want, you’ll either have to be castrated and penectomized, or be unfaithful.  And that means a broken marriage.  Why be a slave to your cock and balls, anyway?  They just get you into trouble.  I can’t tell you how glad I am to be rid of mine.

“So I should agree?” Bill asked.

“Sure, but there’s no reason you can’t bargain for a bit more.”

* * *

Even though she was really nervous waiting for Bill’s answer – since she now so longed to be de-sexed that she would have liked to have it done anyway, but pride forbade her just giving into her husband – she remained outwardly calm.

“Judy, it’s a deal,” Bill said.  But with just one condition.

“Namely?”

“Removal of your breasts!”

“Is that all?” Judy was tempted to say, for her prescient friend Annie had said that this was likely and had described the pleasure of not having to wear a bra.  But instead, she shot back.

“And removal of your nipples!”

“Done deal!” he said.

* * *

The operations – removal of Judy’s breasts, uterus, pussy lips and clitoris, and removal of Bill’s penis and testicles (including scrotum) at one of the many de-sexing clinics that had sprung up in recent years.  Loval anaesthetic was used, and with the miracle of green laser, which healed incisions instantly, they were on the way home in short order, laughing and hugging each other like a couple of kids who had pulled off a prank.

And they lived happily ever after.