Several weeks later – we had sex at his house several times in the meantime - we were at my place, on my bed having sex, when Mom and Roger came home.

Shaun scrambled for his clothes. I held him back.

“No. I want them to see us.”

“You crazy?” he said.

“Trust me. They won’t do anything.”

Roger opened my bedroom door without knocking; I knew he would. I had my arms around Shaun holding him down. We were naked. His cock had been hard, but fright had wilted it.

“What the fuck?” Roger said. “What’s going on here?”

“What do you think, Roger? We’re having sex.”

“What are you, a couple of fucking queers?”

“How can we be queer, Roger? We’d have to both be boys for that to be. Don’t you remember? I’m not a boy any longer.”

“Fuck! You told him?”

“I didn’t have to tell him. It’s pretty obvious. All it takes is one look to see I don’t have balls. I didn’t tell him everything, though. You don’t want me to tell him everything, do you?”

I saw understanding come to Roger. His eyes widened. He shook his head.

“Close the door, will you?” I said. “We’re just getting started.”

He closed the door. I heard Mom and him arguing, but they kept their voices down, and she didn’t come in.

Shaun was too freaked for sex, though.

“Do you want to see my balls?” I asked.

“You don’t have any balls.”

“Yeah, I do. They’re over in my dresser drawer.”

I jumped off the bed and walked to the dresser, pulling open the drawer, digging around, until I found the bottle with my balls in it. Jumping back on the bed, I held the bottle up for Shaun to see.

“Fuck! Those are really your balls?”

I nodded.

“Did the doctor give them to you to keep?”

“I’m going to tell you something,” I said, “but you can’t tell anyone.”

“I haven’t told anyone you don’t have balls, have I?”

I shook my head.

“A doctor didn’t cut off my balls; Roger did. There was nothing wrong with my balls – not as far as I know, anyway. I just didn’t want them. I never wanted them. I think I was born a eunuch – in my head, at least. I wasn’t meant to be a boy.”

“ROGER CUT OFF YOUR BALLS?”

Shh…I don’t want him to know I told you. It gives me an edge over him, as long as he thinks I’ll tell you or someone if he pisses me off. Did you see his face? I think I scared the shit out of him. I like having power over him.”

I liked the power I had over Shaun, too, but that was a different kind of power.

“Why did Roger cut off your balls?”

“I talked him into it, although it didn’t take much talking.”

“What about your mom?”

“She went along with it, too. She wanted me castrated; she’s glad I am.

“Do you think I would like being castrated?”

Now, that surprised me. As much as Shaun liked to cum, I couldn’t imagine him wanting to give up his balls. He was all boy.

“Are you thinking you want to be castrated?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. You seem to like it, and it doesn’t seem to slow you down, when it comes to sex. It kind of turns me on thinking about it. I never thought about it before I found out you didn’t have balls, but now, I think about it all the time. I think you look cool without balls.”

I pointed to my crotch.

“Look at my dick. Look how small it is. I can’t even get it hard.”

“Getting my balls cut off won’t make my dick small.”

“It might. You might not be able to get it hard.”

“I’ve been reading about eunuchs on the Internet. Some of them can still get hard, and I can get testosterone, if I want. If I take testosterone, I can get hard and cum just like now.”

“You can do that, now. Why get your balls cut off?”

“I thought you’d understand. You got yours cut off.”

“That’s different. I’m supposed to be a eunuch. I was meant to be a eunuch. You’re a boy. You’ve never wanted to be anything else.”

“Maybe, I do, now.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t get it out of my mind. I jack off thinking about it.”

“If you jack off thinking about it, that’s probably a good reason not to do it.”

“I thought you’d understand,” he said again.

I sighed, a long exhalation of breath. I sighed again.

“I – I understand. It was all I thought about, especially after I thought Roger might do it. I just never thought you would want it. I’m a eunuch.” I stressed the word. “You’re a boy.”

“Maybe, I want to be a eunuch.”

“No, you want to be a ball-less boy.”

“What’s the difference?”

I tapped my head.

“I’m a eunuch up here.”

I tapped his head.

“You’re a boy up there.”

“Well, I can be a boy up here,” he tapped his head, “and a eunuch down there.” He looked down at his balls.

“Well, Roger’s not going to cut off your balls today, so think about it. OK? You like jacking off too much to have your balls cut off.”

“Yeah, I was reading about that, too. A eunuch can control his sexuality. I can’t help jacking off. I have to do it. I can’t just do it once, either. I have to do it three or four times a day.”

Actually, I liked that about him.

“So?”

“Maybe, I want to be more like you. You could go a month without sex. You only do it when you want to.”

I’d never told him that, but of course, it was true. If I hadn’t sucked his cock that day at his house, I probably still wouldn’t think about sex. It wasn’t sex so much I wanted as it was him I wanted.

“You’re just going through a phase.”

“Were you just going through a phase?”

“I keep telling you, we’re not the same. I was born a eunuch. You’re a boy.”

“Well, I’m going to be a eunuch.”

I shut up. I knew him. The more I argued against it, the more he’ll be set on doing it. Maybe, I’m not as different as I thought. Maybe, other boys don’t like having balls. Maybe, Shaun should be castrated. I laughed to myself. Maybe, most boys should be castrated. Wouldn’t the world be a better place?

I thought, given a little time, he would forget about being castrated. I thought it was just a phase with him, but it was all he could talk about anymore. A couple of weeks passed after he first mentioned it, and if anything, he was more sure than ever he wanted to be castrated. He had really researched castration and eunuchs on the Internet. Other than that I was one, he knew more about eunuchs than I did.

“You think Roger would do it?”

“How’s Roger going to do it? Don’t you think your parents would notice if you showed up without balls? It was different with me; my mom watched him cut mine off.”

“Talk to him, will you? Maybe, he can figure something out.”

“OK – OK.”

I didn’t mention it to Roger for several days, but Shaun asked me every day if I had. Finally, one night, when I caught him alone watching TV in the living room, I asked.

“Shaun wants you to castrate him.”

“YOU TOLD HIM?”

“Don’t get excited. I told him a long time ago. He’s not going to tell anyone. Hell, he wants you to cut off his balls.”

“What the fuck’s with you kids, wanting to get your balls cut off?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I know why I wanted mine cut off; but I’m not really sure why Shaun wants his cut off; he just does. I thought he’d forget about it, but he’s obsessed with having them cut off.”

“You want him to be ball-less like you, huh?”

“No, I’d rather he kept his balls.”

That wasn’t altogether true. I liked having sex with him, but I wanted him to be ball-less like me. I liked being a eunuch; but I didn’t want to be the only eunuch. It would be cool for my best friend to be one, too.

“Why do you want me to cut off his balls, then?”

“I don’t want you to cut off his balls. I don’t want him to lose his balls, but it’s what he wants. I love him, so I want what he wants.”

Even as I said it, I knew it was a lie, not the part about loving Shaun – I did love him - the part about not wanting Roger to cut off Shaun’s balls. I wanted him to castrate Shaun.

“How can I cut off his balls? Like his parents won’t notice he no longer has them?”

“That’s what I told him. I read on the Internet about these guy that injected their balls with Everclear; it’s –“

“I know what Everclear is.”

“Maybe, you could get some and some syringes and shit. No one is going to sell shit like that to kids.”

“Why should I do it?”

“Because, you want to castrate him. You want to do him as much as you wanted to do me.”

“Fuck! How do I know he won’t tell anyone?”

“I trust him. I know him. He would never tell.”

“You told, and you said you wouldn’t.”

“I only told Shaun. I tell him everything. Will you do it?”

“Fuck…I can get the Everclear, but I’ll have to order the syringes.”

“Then, you’ll do it? You know how to do it?”

“Yeah, I’ve read all about it. I’ll do it, but neither of you better tell anyone – and I mean anyone this time. I don’t even want you telling your mom.”

“Where you gonna do it?”

“You guys can come over to my place.”

“When?”

“I’ll let you know when I have everything together.”