Interview with a Modifier - Part 4

Y: It was a few years ago. I got a call from downstairs in the emergency room that a teenage boy had mutilated his penis and was bleeding heavily. When I arrived, they had restrained the boy and were attempting to stop the bleeding.

He was extremely agitated, and was yelling that he didn’t want them to fix his penis. I saw that the glans of his penis had been completely severed, and there was a deep cut at the base of the organ.

When the boy calmed down, we learned that he had flushed the glans down the toilet to prevent it from being re-attached. He was attempting to cut off the rest of his penis when he was discovered by his college roommate, who called an ambulance.

Naturally, we all thought this boy – his name was Michael – was deeply disturbed. A psychiatrist was called in to interview him. Since I was intrigued, I sat in on the session.

Q: What did you learn?

J: Well, I was surprised. He didn’t seem like a disturbed person at all. In fact, I was impressed with his intelligence and ability to express himself.

Michael was 18, and told us that he had fantasized about losing his penis since he was about 14 years old. He couldn’t give us a reason, just that it was something he had thought about since puberty.

He had intended to amputate his penis that night, but was interrupted by his roommate. First he used a carving knife to cut off the head of the organ. The pain was much more severe than he had imagined, and he had screamed, which alerted his roommate. Michael then put the blade at the base of his penis and starting slicing into the shaft, but his roommate wrestled the knife away from him before he was able to finish.

Michael said he regretted that he had been stopped, and would someday finish the job. He said this quite calmly. He obviously had no guilt or shame about this.

The psychiatrist said that Michael was obviously a deeply disturbed person, but I didn’t think so. He seemed normal in every way except for his desire to lose his penis.

I began visiting him in his room without the psychiatrist. Michael told me that he was gay and had a boyfriend named Travis. He said that Travis had accepted his need to lose his penis. Michael had no desire for a sex change operation. He just felt that his penis needed to be removed. I was tremendously impressed with Michael. It really opened my mind.

Q: How so?

J: It made me realize that the medical community is quick to label everything as a mental illness if it doesn’t fit into a narrow range of behavior. Most professionals could never even consider the possibility that for Michael, it was a normal desire to modify his body in this way.

After several visits, Michael said he would try again to cut off his penis when he was released from the hospital. I decided right then that I would help him achieve his goal. I didn’t want him to bleed to death or wind up terribly mutilated.

He was very excited when I told him this. I warned him that he had to tell his doctors that he had given up his desire for a penectomy, or they wouldn’t release him from the hospital. He agreed and after a week they let him go home.

Q: What happened then?

J: Michael called me soon after his release, and I went to visit him at Travis’ apartment. They were a very loving, attractive couple.

I asked them both if they realized the results of a penectomy for Michael. Both said yes, that they had prepared themselves for it. Michael said he was a totally passive sex partner, so he didn’t need his penis. He knew that he wouldn’t lose his sexual desires because he would keep his testicles.

A few days later, I invited them both to my house for the operation. Travis was more nervous than Michael. I explained the entire procedure to them, that Michael would be able to feel small bump just below the surface of his crotch where the penis had been. I’d also need to create a new opening near his anus for him to urinate. They both said they understood. Michael said he wanted a local anesthetic so he could be awake during the procedure, and I agreed.

After administering a local and scrubbing up, I inserted a catheter into Michael’s penis. This was a little more difficult because of the scarring caused by the glansectomy. Michael and Travis held hands as I began cutting away the penis. Michael had a big smile on his face when he saw me separate the shaft from his body. I placed the penis on Michael’s chest while I finished the surgery.

It was a really emotional experience for me. This was a very loving and devoted couple, and I was moved and pleased to do this for them. It gave me great satisfaction to perform this service.

Q: What was the outcome for Michael and Travis?

J: Michael healed up very nicely. There was little scarring. He said he had adapted to urinating through the new opening. And their sex life was very good. Michael said he greatly enjoyed being penetrated by Travis, that the stimulation of his prostate gave him a lot of sexual satisfaction. And Travis found it extremely arousing to fuck Michael now that he had given up his penis.

It was then that I decided to seek out others who needed my services for body modifications.

(To be continued)