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SECRET/NFOR EMBASSY THAILAND Classified by Ambassador Lewinsky, Date XXXXXXXXXXX SUBJECT: Former POTUS Clinton penis held for US STATE SEC Clinton for future use. SUMMARY: Secretary Clinton has owned the legal title to President Clintons penis since a dicky leak onto Ambassador Lewinskys blue dress when she was interned in the Oral Sex Orifice. In a top secret rendezvous this day, both Clintons met at a Thailand SRS clinic and the subject penis was removed and put into cold storage. William Jefferson Clintons only remark during this procedure was that his wifes vagina has been in cold storage for decades. Ambassador Lewinsky (note taker and former penis-in-mouth taker) documented all the facts. DETAIL: Former President Clinton removed his pants at the Bangkok SRS and Ambassador Lewinsky entered positive identification of the presidential penis into the record. Secretary Clinton was unable to confirm the penile identity, stating she only had seen it once before, and that was only to reproduce a fine daughter who is now married. Secretary Clinton stated that action this day may help prevent the proliferation of the Penis of Mass Destruction. She did not rule out taking personal custody of the phallic object at future date. Ambassador Lewinsky was instructed to keep her eye on, but mouth off, subject penis. END COMMENT. Sec Clinton has cleared this cable.
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