Cherubs

“It’s ready,” I yelled over the noise of the TV. Dad sat on the couch in front of it wearing his boxers and a white t-shirt. I hadn’t seen him wear anything else for days. As always, he was drinking beer. I think he was already on his second six-pack.

I tossed the Hamburger Helper I’d just made on the table along with a plate of white bread. I poured a glass of milk for me; Dad, of course, would drink his beer. Maybe, if he had something to eat, he wouldn’t get mean drunk. If he did, I was in for a beating of sorts. Sometimes, he just slapped me around. Sometimes, he punched me. What I really hated was for him to grab my balls and squeeze them. Once, it hurt so much I puked.

He had got laid off months before and wasn’t doing much to find a new job. He sat around drinking beer and watching TV. At least, his unemployment benefits had been extended, or I don’t know what we’d do. Hell, he was behind on the rent on our trailer as it was. The manager of the trailer park told him to come up with the rent, or he was kicking us out. I hoped he’d come up with it.

Not that living there was great. The place was a dump, but I didn’t want to live out of our car or some such shit. At least there, I had my own room.

I had quit school. I wasn’t doing so hot, and I got picked on all the time; they called me, “trailer trash.” I didn’t have any decent clothes. Dad spent all his money on beer.

“What’s this slop?” Dad said, sauntering in from the living room, beer in hand.

“Hamburger Helper,” I said.

“We had this shit last night,” he said.

“We ain’t got nothing else,” I answered. “If you want me to fix something different, go shopping and buy something. The fucking frige is almost empty as it is.”

Raising his hand, he glared at me. “Shut your smart mouth, or I’ll shut it for you.”

Clenching my teeth, I shut it and sat down at the table.

After he sat down, he looked across at me. “You got hair down there yet?”

“What?”

“You heard me. You got pubic hair yet?”

“Why do you want to know?” He’d never paid much attention to me, never had told me he loved me, and I think this was the first question he’d ever asked me about myself. It was a doozy.

“Answer my question, Fuckhead, or I’ll smack you.” He cocked his hand as if to reach across the table and slap me.

“Yeah, I got some,” I said.

“How long you had it?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It grew in over the summer, I guess.” I really hadn’t noticed it growing in, until one day I had looked in the mirror and had seen it. I guess it takes awhile to notice slow, day to day, changes.

“Has your dick got big?”

It was another question I hadn’t expected. It was also one I didn’t want to answer, but I knew refusing to answer would get me a slap. He still had his hand cocked.

“I guess,” I said.

“When did it get big?” he asked.

“I don’t know; over summer, I guess.”

“Does it get hard?”

“Dad!” He slapped me. “Ow!” I put my hand over my face, covering where he’d slapped me. It hadn’t been a gentle slap. He’d put some weight behind it.

“Stand up,” he said. “Pull your pants down and make it hard. I want to see it.”

I stood up and pulled down my pants. Although my dick was hard much of the time, it wasn’t now. Getting whacked across the face had taken the starch out of it, and having Dad stare at it didn’t help none.

“Make it hard,” he said.

“I don’t know how,” I said. “It just gets hard all by itself.”

“Don’t you jerk off?” he asked.

“I don’t know how,” I said. I’d heard other guys talk about jerking off, but I didn’t know how to do it or why I should want to. It’s not like I had a lot of friends. I didn’t even have friends in the trailer park. A pack of older kids living there had it in for me, and I didn’t hang around it much.

“Dumb shit,” Dad said, standing and walking over to me. “Do it like this.” Using his thumb and a couple of fingers, he pulled on my dick. Soon, it was hard. “Not much of a dick,” he added. “No more’n five inches. You do it. I want to watch. You sure you never did it before?”

I shook my head, my hands still at my sides.

“Do it,” he said, pulling my right hand to my dick.

“I – I don’t want to.” Actually, I wanted to, but not with him watching. It had felt good for him to pull on it.

“Do it,” he yelled. I began pulling on it.

Goddamn, it felt good. It almost didn’t matter that he watched. I felt pressure build up in my groin. Suddenly, white stuff spurted from my dick. I closed my eyes. “Oh – oh – oh,” I moaned. When I opened my eyes, I saw that some of it had splashed onto my plate. I felt weak in the knees.

“Hell of a wad,” he said. “You sure that was your first time?” I nodded. He laughed. “I’ll bet it won’t be your last.”

He was right there. I couldn’t wait to try it again. If I had known how good it felt, I would have been doing it long ago.

“OK,” he said, “pull your pants up and sit down to eat.” I picked up my plate intending to scrape it into the garbage. Some of the white gunk had landed in my Hamburger Helper. “Don’t throw that shit away; eat it.” He grinned.

“Some of the gunk landed in it,” I said.

“It won’t hurt you,” he said. “You’ll swallow a bunch more of it before long. Mix it in and eat it.” I didn’t know what he meant at the time. I was soon to find out.

I mixed it into the Hamburger Helper. I imagined I could still taste it, but it was probably my imagination. The first load I had shot into my mouth didn’t taste anything like I thought it would.

After we ate, I went in the bathroom and jerked off two more times. It had already become my favorite thing to do.

Later that evening, I was watching TV with Dad. Still swigging beer, he kept glancing at me, but he didn’t say nothing. Maybe I wouldn’t get pounded on.

There was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it, but he said, “I’ll get it.”

That surprised me. Once he plopped his ass on the couch after supper, he only got up to piss.

A dude was at the door. He was about Dad’s age, I guess, but he looked a lot better. He didn’t have a beer belly; he was dressed nice; and he even smelt good. He was actually kind of good looking. He sure didn’t look like any friend of Dad’s.

“Here he is,” Dad said, gesturing toward me. He didn’t introduce us. “He’s started puberty. That’s not going to queer the deal, is it?”

“We’ll see,” the guy said. “Stand up,” he told me. I stood. He put his hand under my chin lifting it. “I think he’ll be OK. I think we’ve got to him in time.”

I had no fucking idea what he was talking about.

“Take off your pants, Jim,” Dad said. “Let him see what you got.”

“What?”

“Do it,” he said, “or I’ll smack you.”

“No need for that,” the guy said, “Jim – how about if I call you James? It sounds more dignified. Let down your pants, James, and take off your shirt. I want to see the merchandise.”

I looked from him to Dad. I didn’t see I had much choice. I pulled off my t-shirt and pulled down my pants. I was stark naked in front of a stranger, and my dick was hard.”

“Do you masturbate?” he asked.

“He does now,” Dad said. “He jacked off today – I made him – and I think he did it some more in the bathroom.”

“I’m Ramon,” he said. “You can call me that. Did you like it, James?”

“It was OK,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Boys should enjoy sex, and there’s nothing wrong with masturbation, when you don’t have other options. He’ll do,” he told my dad. He pulled out a checkbook, took a check from it, and handed it to Dad, who looked at it, licked his lips, and put it on the coffee table.

“You’re going to live with Mr. Delany,” Dad said.

“What do you mean, I’m going to live with him? I live here.”

“Not anymore,” he said. “I can’t afford to feed you. You’ll be better off with him. He’s rich. You’ll be living in a much better place than this.”

I looked at Mr. Delany – Ramon. He smiled. “You’ll have company,” he said. “I have other boys. I think you’ll like them. We have a game room with all the latest video game systems, pool table, and about anything else a boy might want. We have a tennis court, gym, and a swimming pool. I don’t think you’ll want for anything – and no one will smack you around.”

I looked at Dad. He shrugged. “Better pack a bag,” he said.

“No need for that,” Ramon said. “Just get any favorite knickknacks you might have.”

“I don’t got nothing,” I said.

He picked up my chin, looking me in the eye. “A diamond in the rough. Lot of polishing to do, but some potential. A bath and a haircut wouldn’t hurt. Get what you want to bring. Time to go home.”

I looked at Dad, but he was back on the couch watching TV and drinking beer. I got my stuff. Dad didn’t even say, “Goodbye,” when we left.

The house was fucking amazing. It was out of town in the hills surrounded by a tall wall. A gate slid back, when we pulled up to it and closed once we were through it. The house was down a long winding driveway. The front door to the house opened as we stopped in front of it. A man came out. Ramon said, “Go with Harrison. He’ll show you to your room.” Turing to Harrison, he said, I want him bathed. He stinks. See to it; and introduce him to the cherubs. He’s started puberty. Have them introduce him to the pleasures of sex.”

“How far should they go?” asked Harrison.

“All the way,” said Ramon. “After you see his cock, you’ll understand. If anything, the use of his will make them appreciate the real thing.”

“Yes, Sir…come along,” Harrison told me.

“Your name’s Harrison?” I asked, as we climbed a wide staircase.

“Yes,” he said, “what’s yours?”

“Jim – or James. Ramon said he was going to call me James.

“I imagine he would,” said Harrison. Coming to a door down a long hallway, he opened it. “This is your room. The bathroom is through that door.” He pointed at a door on the other side of the room.

“I have my own bathroom?”

“Of course.” The room was huge, probably containing more living space than our whole trailer house. Harrison pulled a pair of pajamas from a dresser and tossed them on the bed. “Get out of those rags,” he said. “Mr. Delany was right. You stink.” When I hesitated, he said, “What are you waiting for? Take off your clothes.”

“Are you leaving?” I asked.

“No, the boss wants me to make sure you’re clean.”

“I can bathe myself.”

“The way you look and smell, you couldn’t prove it by me,” he said. “When’s the last time you had a bath?”

I shrugged. Why should I bathe? Dad never did; and it had been just him and me. I wasn’t sure when the last time I took a bath was.

“Strip,” he said.

Before that day, I didn’t remember anyone seeing me naked. I guess my mom had when I was younger, but I didn’t remember that. Now, I was stripping in front of a grown man for the third time in the same day. I pulled off my t-shirt, and turning my back to him – my dick was hard – pulled off my pants. With his hand on my shoulder, he turned me around to face him.

“You have started puberty,” he said. Grasping my dick with his fingers, he examined it. “Not overly large, but I’m sure the other boys will enjoy it until Mr. Delany has it taken care of. I can see why he doesn’t mind sharing them with you.”

I had no fucking idea what he was talking about.

Before he ran my bath, he gave me an enema. “Got to get you cleaned out,” he said. The first I’d ever had, it was fucking embarrassing, squirting all that watery shit into the bowl.

The tub was huge. It even had whirlpool jets in the side. Turning on the water, Harrison poured in some bubble bath crystals. I’d never taken a bubble bath. While the tub was filling, I stepped into it and sat down.

Once the tub was full, Harrison reached between my legs, grabbed my dick, and began jerking me off. “This will help you relax,” he said.

It felt fucking great, the sensation was amplified by the hot water, and somehow, it felt better to have him do it for me. “Thanks,” I said after I shot, as if it were natural to thank a grown man for jacking me off.

“No problem,” he said. He scrubbed me clean. I thought he was going to rub the skin off. Once through, he helped me from the tub and dried me off with a huge, fluffy, towel. He ran his hand over my pubic hair. “We’ll have to do something about this. The boss doesn’t like pubic hair on his cherubs.”

I had no idea what a cherub was.

He walked over to a small frige – I hadn’t noticed it before; I had my own fucking frige in my room – reached above it, took a glass out of the cupboard, and filled it from a water tap on the refrigerator door. He handed it to me, took a pill bottle out of his pocket, giving me a couple of pills from it. “Down these,” he said. “They’ll relax you. I think you’ll like them. The other cherubs do.”

There was that word again. Anyway, I tossed the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with a drink of water.

“Come on,” he said, looking back at me over his shoulder, as he walked toward the door.

I looked at the pile of my old clothes on the floor. Cleaner than I could remember, I didn’t want to put them back on. He was right: they stank. I could smell them from where I stood. “What about some clothes?” I asked.

“You don’t need them,” he said. “Cherubs don’t wear clothes.”

“What do you mean I don’t need them? You expect me to walk around naked?”

“That’s exactly what I expect,” he said. “Come along.”

Fucking weird, I thought, but I followed him out the door.

He took out a cell phone, autodialed a number, and said, when he got an answer, “Meet me at the salon. We have a new cherub. He needs waxing.” He listened for a moment before saying, “He has pubic and underarm hair, and the boss will want it gone…yeah, I know. The kid is cute, though; and it looks like he just started it. I think we’ve caught him early enough. I don’t see any of the usual early signs of adolescent, except that his cock and balls have grown, and he has a small bush and underarm hair about a half inch long.” There was another hesitation while he listened. “Yeah, he has dark brown hair. He’ll be a good candidate for laser hair removal. We’re on the way now. Be there in a jiff.” He closed the phone.

“What’s waxing?” I asked.

“It’s a way of removing your pubic and underarm hair,” he said.

I raised my arm, looking at my pit under it. Hair was growing in. I hadn’t even noticed; but I don’t spend much time looking at myself in the mirror; and I don’t normally check out my pits. “Is it like shaving?” I asked. I’d played at shaving with Dad’s razor, but I didn’t’ have nothing to shave. I hadn’t thought about shaving off my pubic hair.

“No,” he said, “waxing pulls out the hair. It makes for a smoother job and lasts longer.”

“Won’t it hurt?”

“Some, I guess,” he said, “but Anita uses a cream that deadens the skin some. It won’t hurt much, and by the time the pills kick in, you won’t care.”

“What kind of pills are they?”

“Some shit the boss has made up special. They make you feel real good and make you horny as hell.”

“What’s horny?” I asked. I had some idea, but I wasn’t sure.

“You’ll find out,” he said.

We walked down the stairs to a back hallway. It was weird walking around naked. Like I said, before today, I don’t remember anyone seeing me naked.

Harrison opened a door off the hallway. Inside, the room looked like a barbershop or beauty salon or something. A cute Mexican girl was inside. I covered my dick with my hands. Upon seeing her, it had got hard.

“Randy, isn’t he?” she said, in heavily accented English. “Did you give him some pills?”

“Yeah,” said Harrison, “but I don’t think they’ve had time to take effect yet. He’s just a typical adolescent at the start of puberty.

“The boss don’t usually like them so advanced,” she said.

“Yeah,” Harrison said, “but this one is special, you have to admit. A diamond in the rough, the boss called him.”

“He is cute,” she said. I didn’t know what they were talking about. No one had ever told me I was cute, and I had never liked what I’d seen in the mirror. “Hop up here,” she said, patting a barber chair. I did.

She cut my hair. By the time she waxed my crotch and underarms I was feeling no pain. It hurt, I guess, but I didn’t care. Everything seemed funny. I guess the pills had kicked in. I felt fucking great. I loved those fucking pills. I couldn’t stop laughing. I began pumping my dick, even though they watched. God, I wanted to shoot. Why hadn’t I learned to jerk off before? Nothing felt better.

Harrison stopped me. “Save it,” he said. “The cherubs will want whatever you have left, and you’ll like what they have to offer better.”

“But I want to do it, now,” I whined. I looked at the girl. “Will you do it?”

“No, Honey,” she said, “the boss don’t want you fooling around with no girls. The cherubs will take care of it for you.”

“Well, let’s go find the fucking cherubs,” I told Harrison.

He laughed. “OK…OK…we’re going there now.”

Harrison took me to a humungous game room. Four boys were there. Two were sitting in front of a big screen TV playing a video game. The other two were playing pool. “I’ve got a new cherub for you,” Harrison said. “This one still has his cock, and he’s horny as hell.”

“Cool,” said one of them, throwing down his video game controller and standing to face us.

HE DIDN’T HAVE A DICK. Hell, he didn’t have balls either. He didn’t have nothing, no hair, no slit – so he weren’t no girl – nothing at all on his crotch. It was as smooth as a baby’s butt. The others stood. They didn’t have dicks or balls neither.

“Fuck,” I said, but they turned me on. My dick throbbed, making little up and down motions.

They walked over to us. “Nice,” one said. “I’m first.”

“What makes you special?” another said. “Why should you go first?”

The kid looked at Harrison. “Did you give him the pills?” Harrison nodded. The kid looked back at the others. “See…don’t sweat it; there’ll be plenty to go around. I’ll just give him a blow job. I want to see what his spunk tastes like.” He pulled me to the floor.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! And I thought jerking off felt good. It didn’t take long. I’ll bet my dick wasn’t in his hot mouth a minute before I shot.

“How’s he taste?” one asked.

“Good,” said the first boy, “and his cock’s just right for sucking. Ramon’s is almost too big to suck. I was able to deep throat him.”

“Better enjoy it while you can,” said another. “He won’t have it long.”

“What does he mean?” I asked the one that had just sucked my dick.

“What do you think?” he said. “Ramon doesn’t like for his cherubs to have cocks. At least, you made it to puberty. None of us ever did. What does it feel like?”

“What does what feel like?” I asked.

“To ejaculate with a cock,” he said. “I’ve always wondered.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It feels good, I guess.” Actually, it felt damn good. What did he mean I wouldn’t have mine long? You can’t just go around cutting off boys’ dicks, can you? But they damn sure didn’t have one. “Did Ramon cut off your junk?” I asked.

“Not exactly,” said the boy. “He doesn’t do it himself. He has a doctor that does it.” He ran his hand over his smooth crotch. “Cool, isn’t it?”

“You think it’s cool not to have a dick?” I asked, more than a little shocked at the idea.

He grinned, looking back at the others. “Sure, you don’t need a cock to enjoy sex. I’ll bet we’ve had more and better sex than you have. What have you done besides jacking off? Have you ever had a cock up your ass?”

“No,” I said, thoroughly shocked at the idea. I looked around for Harrison, but he was gone.

“My turn,” said the boy that had disputed the right of the other boy to go first. He pulled me to him. I was hard again.

Lying on his back, he pulled me on top of him, raised his legs, and guided my dick to his asshole. It slid right in.

His hole was hot and tight. I humped him like a dog humping a bitch. I came, a volcanic ejaculation. It seemed like I’d shot my whole being into him. I couldn’t tell where I left off, and he began. Before long, I’d lost count of the times I’d squirted, but each seemed better than the one before.

I had all of them. I think I fucked each of them – by then, I was so out of it, I wasn’t really sure. Each of them kissed me, running their tongues into my mouth. I kissed them back, running my tongue into theirs. It all seemed natural somehow.

I was lying back with my eyes closed, when one of them shook me. “Look who’s here,” he said. Looking up, I saw Ramon. He was naked, and had the biggest dick I’d ever seen. “Raise your legs,” the boy said. Once I had, he squirted something from a tube into my hole.

Ramon lay down on top of me. I felt his dick press against my hole. Little by little, he worked it farther and farther in. It hurt, but the pain seemed to be happening to someone else. Then, he was inside me.

At first, it felt like I needed to shit, but soon, it began to feel great. Reaching down, I pumped my dick, while he humped me.

I don’t even remember coming. I don’t know whether I passed out or whether it was too much for my mind to comprehend. All I knew afterward was that I wanted more. When I looked up, however, Ramon was gone.

My hole hurt, but I didn’t care.

I woke up the next morning in my bed but not alone. One of the boys was in my bed with me. He was raised up on his elbow looking at me. “How do you feel?” he said.

“I don’t know,” I said. “My ass hurts.”

“Yeah, Ramon’s got a big one, doesn’t he? You’ll get used to it; you’ll even come to like it. Were you a virgin?”

“I never did nothing before yesterday,” I said. “I never even jerked off before yesterday.”

“Hell of an introduction to sex,” he said. “How’d you like it? I’m Eric, by the way, in case you don’t remember.”

I didn’t. The whole night seemed like a dream. “I – I liked it, I guess,” I said.

“I think you more than liked it,” he said. “You must have shot ten or fifteen times.”

I pulled back the sheet and stared at his crotch. “You really don’t have a dick,” I said. “I thought maybe I dreamed it. What’s it like not having a dick?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I had it cut off a couple years ago, and I never went through puberty like you. I don’t really feel any different than I did with one, except that I have to pee sitting down. They moved my pee hole down here.” He pointed to a place a few inches above his asshole.

“Do you wish you still had one?” I asked.

“Not really,” he said. “I don’t want all that junk between my legs. I kind of like cocks – on other guys, – but balls are really weird. I wouldn’t want balls. Really, I don’t want either. I like how I look without them.”

“Ramon had them cut off?”

Eric nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“In the old days, rich guys had boys like us, eunuchs – that’s what we are. Ramon is rich, and he sees no reason he shouldn’t have some.”

“Isn’t it against the law to cut off a boy’s stuff?” I asked.

“Rich guys make their own laws,” Eric said. “Besides, who’s going to find out? It’s not like Ramon allows visitors. Security is tight. No one can get on or off the property without setting off all kinds of alarms. You don’t want to go out at night. They set the dogs loose after dark. They’re mean bastards. They’d chew you up and shit you out.”

“Don’t you ever leave the place?” I asked.

“I never have,” he said. “Not since I came here.”

“How did they do that?” I pointed to his smooth crotch.

“The doctor comes here,” he said. “Ramon has an operating room set up here in the house. “He’ll probably do you soon.”

“Ramon’s really going to have my dick cut off?”

“That and your balls,” said Eric. “You’re probably only going to have them another day or two.”

Fuck! I couldn’t believe it. “Does it hurt?”

“You’ll probably be sore for a while. It might be worse for you than it was for me. I hadn’t started puberty. Neither my balls or my dick were big.”

I was hard. He rubbed me below my balls. “Feel that,” he said. “It’s hard, too. It’s part of your cock. The doc will cut that out, and move your pee hole down here.” He touched a place between my legs below my balls.

“Fuck,” I said. “I like having a dick. I just found out yesterday how much fun having one was.”

“Give it some time, and you won’t miss it. All of us get off on Ramon’s cock sometimes.”

“Does Harrison ever – you know – stick his thing up your rear?”

Eric laughed. “Harrison still has a cock, but he can’t get it up. He’s been castrated. I think the doc even cut some of the nerves in his dick, so he couldn’t get hard. None of the men working here have balls. I think Ramon gets off on being the only manly man.”

“Ramon had him castrated?”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Eric. “Harrison’s been with him for years. He was already here when I came. He didn’t have balls then. He hangs out at the pool sometimes. If you’re at the pool when he is, you’ll see. No one wears suits at the pool. Of course, we cherubs never wear clothes.”

“Why do they call us cherubs?”

“I don’t know,” Eric said. “I think it has something to do with some old Roman emperor that had a bunch of young boys he used for sex games. He called them his minnows – or something like that. I think Ramon likes to pretend he’s a Roman emperor, but he calls us his cherubs instead of minnows. He says removing our stuff remakes us in the image of angels.” He grinned. “Of course, you’re not a cherub yet. You still have this.” He grabbed my hard dick; “and these…” He hefted my balls. “You want a blowjob?”

“I – I guess. Do you like sucking dick?” The way guys talked about cocksuckers at school, I didn’t think anyone would actually like doing it, and I had a hard time getting past the idea of having all that white gunk spurted into my mouth. I’d almost thrown up when Dad had made me eat the Hamburger Helper, and there was just a glob of the stuff in it, and by the time I had mixed it in, I wasn’t even sure I could taste it.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s fun, and I really like your cock. It’s just the right size for sucking. Ramon’s is too big for sucking. I can only get the head of his dick in my mouth. Yours is just right. I can even deep throat it. Yours isn’t much good for fucking. I’m used to Ramon’s; and I can hardly tell you’re inside me. I don’t think I could ever get off on your cock; but it’s just right for sucking.”

“Do you like the taste of the gunk?”

“Spunk? Yeah. It’s an acquired taste, I guess. I didn’t like it at first, but I do, now.”

He lowered his mouth onto my dick. It was hot, wet, and soft. I came. It was a great start to the day. Maybe – if I were allowed to keep my dick and balls for a while, I could start every day like that.

It was not to be. Harrison came for me after breakfast.

The room he took me to had a hospital bed and a stand with IV bottles attached. A woman in a white nurse’s uniform greeted us.

“No,” I said. “I don’t want my dick cut off. You can’t…”

While Harrison held me, the nurse gave me an injection. After that, nothing mattered. I was still conscious, but I didn’t care that they were about to cut off my dick. I climbed onto the table, when she said I should. She strapped down my arm and inserted an IV needle into a vein. That was the last I remembered, until I awoke what seemed but moments later.

I was still pretty well out of it; they probably were giving me pain killers or something; because, although I was sore between the legs, I didn’t hurt much.

Of course, I knew what they’d done; still it was a shock, when the nurse changed my bandages and I saw I no longer had a dick or balls. A stitched cut ran from what had been the top of my dick down to between my legs. A catheter ran from between my legs over the end of the bed to what I supposed was a bottle at the end of the bed.

I would never jack off again. Eric would never again suck my dick. I had fucked for the last time.

One day, Harrison came into my room. He had a jar in his hand. Inside it, floating in a liquid, were my dick and my balls. I was surprised to see that my balls were almost white; I was surprised to see that my dick, drained of blood, was so tiny. That was the last time I was to see them. One of the guys later told me that Ramon keeps them as souvenirs.

“Hey,” said Eric, after I was released from the infirmary, “let me see.” He examined my crotch. The stitches were out, but I had a long, pink, scar running down the front of my crotch. You could still see where the stitches had been. “Cool,” he said.

“Cool? It looks gross,” I said.

“Don’t worry. The scar will fade. In two or three months, you’ll hardly see it.”

“Ramon had no right to have my dick and balls cut off.”

“Don’t let Ramon hear you say that,” Eric said, his tone suddenly serious. “If Ramon asks you how you like it, tell him you love it.”

“Why should I tell him that? I hate Ramon.”

“Don’t even think that,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“One of the cherubs said that to Ramon once. He’s no longer around.”

“What do you mean, he’s no longer around?”

“Just that. He pissed Ramon off, and the next day, he was gone. No one has seen him since.”

“Maybe Ramon just let him go.”

“You think? You think he’d let some kid he’d castrated – one that was pissed at him – go?”

“What do you think happened to him?” I asked.

“I’m not thinking shit, and if I were thinking some shit, I wouldn’t say anything. I’m not about to piss Ramon off. If you got to piss some adult off, piss off Harrison. He’ll hurt you, but you’ll still be around the next day.”

“I thought you liked it here,” I said.

“For the most part, I do,” he said. “I never had shit. We were poor, and neither my mom nor my dad gave a shit about me. And I didn’t much care that they cut off my junk. You got to remember, I hadn’t started puberty. I didn’t even know what my balls were for, and all I’d ever used my dick for was pissing. I don’t feel any different, except that I have a smooth crotch; and I like having one. I wouldn’t want a dick and balls hanging from it. Maybe, if I’d gone through puberty like you had, I would feel different, but I never did.”

“But we’re fucking prisoners,” I said. “We can’t do what we want.”

“Could you before?” he said. “I couldn’t. My old man whacked me for no reason, and he didn’t buy me shit.” He looked away for a moment. “He used to make me suck his cock. He never fucked me – I think he had a thing about getting shit on his cock – but I was probably about eight the first time he shot in my mouth.”

“Why didn’t you tell your mom?”

“You think she didn’t know? She knew.”

“You could have told the cops or something,” I said.

“Yeah, sure, an eight year old kid is going to do that?”

“How old were you when you came here?”

“Almost eleven,” he said.

“And your dad was still making you suck his cock?”

“Yeah.”

‘Why didn’t you say something – to a teacher or someone.”

“I wasn’t going to school,” he said. “Were you?” I shook my head. “I didn’t think so. Ramon picks kids that no one would miss. I’ll bet no one but your dad even knows you’re gone. I know that no one misses me. We just kind of disappear off the face of the Earth, and no one knows or cares.”

“Do you think my dad knew what Ramon was going to do?” I asked.

“What? The sex or the neutering?”

“Either – or both,” I said.

“Do you think he cared?” Eric said.

I shrugged. “Probably not. He probably knew about the sex. He made me jerk off while he watched, and he told Ramon about it.”

“I doubt Ramon told him he was going to neuter you. He probably didn’t even tell him he would be fucking you, but I imagine, from the questions he probably asked about you, your dad knew he would be.”

“Why would my dad give me to him?” I asked.

“He didn’t give you to Ramon; he sold you to him. Dakota saw the check Ramon gave his dad. It was made out for $25,000. Did Ramon give your dad a check?” I nodded; he shrugged, his palms up, “See.”

“So, what do we do?” I asked.

“We live each day as it comes,” he said. “It’s not a bad life. It’s a hell of a lot better than I had before. We have plenty to eat; we have video games, a pool table, a swimming pool, killer bedrooms, and we don’t have to go to school or wear clothes.”

“You like going around naked?”

“Hell, yes. You’ll like it better, now that you’re neutered. When you no longer have a dick for everyone to check out, being naked is no big deal.”

“I don’t like how I look” I said.

“That’s just because of your scar,” he said. “Once it fades, you won’t even think about it. I don’t. God! I’d hate to have to wear clothes.”

“Do you like getting fucked by Ramon?”

“Yeah, it feels good, and sometimes I get off,” he said. “I like that.”

“How do you get off without a dick and balls?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, “and I don’t know whether it’s the same as when a guy shoots, but it feels good. It feels good all over. I like it. You seemed to like getting fucked by Ramon.”

“I was fucked up on those pills,” I said. “It hurt. My asshole still hurt the next day. His dick is too big.”

“Ramon’s dick isn’t huge,” Eric said. “I don’t think it’s eight inches. It just looks big next to the one you had. I don’t mean to insult you or anything, but you had a pretty puny dick. I’m guessing it wasn’t five inches long, and it was pretty skinny. Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked it; I liked sucking it; but it wasn’t much as dicks go.”

“How many dicks have you seen?” I asked.

“A few, my dad’s, my brother’s, and those of a couple of my brother’s friends,” he said.

“Did you see them hard?”

“Yeah, my brother made me give blowjobs to him and his friends.”

“Didn’t you hate him?” I asked.

“Not for that. You got to remember I’d been blowing my dad for years. By the time my brother made me blow him it wasn’t a big deal to me. If I’d kept my dick and grown up and had a kid, I would have probably expected him to blow me.”

“That’s sick,” I said.

“Maybe,” he said, “but that’s life. Adults have been using kids for sex since forever. They probably always will. It’s what I knew. If my dad said it was OK, and my mom went along with it, why should I think it wasn’t?”

“Do you still think it’s OK? Do you think it’s right?”

He paused; I guess he was thinking. “I don’t think you’re asking the right question. Nothing is about right or wrong. It’s all about power. Those in power decide what’s right or wrong. It’s always been that way.”

“But it’s against the law to make a kid suck your dick,” I said. “It’s damn sure against the law to cut off a kid’s dick and balls.”

“So? What’s your point,” he said.

“Just that. It’s against the law.”

“Did that ever stop anyone?” he said. “It didn’t stop my dad; it didn’t stop my brother; and it hasn’t stopped a lot of others. You’re probably the only one of the cherubs that didn’t have sex with his father or stepfather.”

“Why do you call us that?”

“What?” he asked.

“Cherubs?” I said.

“What should I call us?” he said. “We’re not exactly boys any longer, are we?” He ran his hand over his smooth crotch. “I guess I could call us eunuchs, but Ramon calls us his cherubs, and I like that better than eunuchs. Maybe, when we get old, he’ll call us something else.”

“Do you think he had the right to cut off our dicks? Don’t you hate him for doing it?”

“There you go with that ‘right’ shit again,” he said. “He had the power to do it. Haven’t you heard that might makes right? He had the money to buy us; he has a place to keep us and, I guess, enough money and influence to make certain no one in the government ever finds out about us. I don’t hate him for it anymore than I hated my dad for making me suck his cock. If I had the money and power he does, I’d probably do the same thing.”

“You’d cut off kids’ dicks and balls?”

“Why not?”

“I thought you said you liked to suck cock?” I said.

“I do. I even like getting fucked, but that’s my role, my position in life. If I had power – if I had my dick and balls and power – I wouldn’t do it. I’d be just like Ramon. I’d be the only one with a cock and balls. What better way to prove you’re superior to other men? If a stranger dropped by the pool when Harrison and Ramon were there – both naked – it would only take one glance for him to know who was boss. Ramon has balls and Harrison doesn’t.”

“And none of the other men working here have balls?” I asked.

“None of the full-time employees does, the cook, the security guards, and such. The grounds people probably do, but they come and go. We stay out of sight, when they’re on the grounds.”

“Have you ever thought about running away?” I asked.

“Where would I go? What would I do? Besides, security is too tight – too many cameras and sensors. Hell, it’s a half mile to the road. No way, you could make it without being caught. Besides, I like it here. I have everything I want.”

“You don’t have your dick or your balls.”

“So…in my role as a sex slave or sex toy, I don’t need them. I am what I am. What good’s it going to do to wish I were something I wasn’t? I make the best out of the situation. I’m a eunuch, so I look at the good side of being one. From what I’ve seen, puberty fucks kids up. My brother became a real asshole after he started it, and having balls didn’t help my dad’s disposition. He’d probably been a better dad, if he’d been castrated after fathering me.”

“I like sex; it was fun sucking your dick; but that was because you got off on it; and I liked having that power over you. All I had to do was reach down, grab your cock, and you were mine. Now that you no longer have one, our relationship has changed. Maybe we’ll be friends and maybe we won’t, but sex won’t have anything to do with it. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be controlled by my dick and my balls. I’m glad that Ramon still has them; otherwise I’d have no power over him. If I want something, and I’ve pleased him, I’ll usually get it. I have no such power over Harrison. He looks at everything rationally. Ramon doesn’t. His thinking is influenced by his balls. I’m glad I don’t have balls, and without balls, my dick is irrelevant. I’d rather be smooth.” Once again, he ran his hand over his crotch.

“Like I said,” he added, “I like sex, but I can do without it just fine. I won’t miss sucking your dick as much as I’ll miss the power I had over you. Don’t get me wrong…it was fun; but I didn’t get off on sucking it. I got off on knowing how much you wanted me to suck it.” He laughed. “You should see your face, when you come. You screw your eyes closed and grimace like you’re in pain.”

About that time, we walked into the game room. The other boys – cherubs – were there. “Hey, here’s the new cherub,” one said. They came over to examine my crotch.

Six months later, Ramon added another cherub. He was twelve, also, and like me, had just started puberty. We had a real orgy with him. Of course, he was fucked up on the pills, which made him horny and wiped out any inhibitions. Ramon stopped by to give him his first fuck. I sucked his dick and let him fuck me. It was fun. I took him back to my bed afterward and crawled in with him.

“What happened to you?” he asked the next morning. “How come none of you have anything down there?”

“We’re cherubs,” I told him. “Cherubs don’t have dicks and balls.”