I couldn’t believe it: fucking Roger cut off Kim’s balls. I wanted him to cut off mine, but he was afraid my parents would find out. I didn’t think Kim was convinced I was serious about being castrated, but I was. It wasn’t like it was an overnight decision; I had thought about if for weeks and weeks; and I had read everything I could find on the Internet about eunuchs. I probably knew more about eunuchs than Kim did.

I knew I’d be better off without balls. If I kept them, I’d do something crazy, get caught exposing myself, or something, and end up in jail or labeled a sex fiend. I needed to control my sexuality, and as long as I kept my balls, I wouldn’t be able to control it. If anyone needed castrating, I did.

Hell, I wasn’t the only one that needed castrating. About half the guys at school needed it.

I tried to convince Kim and Roger that my parents wouldn’t find out I was castrated; neither of my parents had seen me naked for years; but Kim reminded me that I had a physical exam from our doctor each year, and that I no longer had balls, was probably something he’d notice.

So, Kim and Roger came up with another plan to get me castrated.

Kim

Shaun was disappointed to learn Roger wasn’t cutting off his balls, but I explained to him that he couldn’t just go home without his balls one day. I told him about how I’d kept ice on my ball sac for a couple of days.

“Roger will kill them with the alcohol, and your mom and dad will take you to the doctor. When he discovers they’re dead, he’ll cut them off. It will be better than having Roger cut them off. It hurt like hell when he cut off mine.”

It was a little over a week before Roger was ready. When he let me know he had everything, Shaun and I went over to his place. He had a bottle of Everclear and a box of syringes.

“You don’t have to do this,” I told Shaun, but I couldn’t dissuade him; by that time, I didn’t want to dissuade him.

“I want to do it,” he said.

As Roger directed, Shaun took off his clothes and climbed onto the kitchen table.

“You’ve got big balls, Kid,” Roger said. “Too bad, we can’t just cut them off.”

“Go ahead,” said Shaun.

“Fuck, no!” I said.

“Fuck! I’d like to, but I don’t know how you’d explain not having balls to your parents,” Roger said. “I guess we’d better just inject them like we planned. You got to promise to never tell I did it.”

“I won’t,” said Shaun.

Roger looked at me.

“I’m not.”

After filling two syringes with Everclear, Roger laid them on a towel and swabbed Shaun’s balls with alcohol on a cotton swab. He squeezed Shaun’s scrotum, holding one of Shaun’s balls tight against the skin of it, and poked the needle through the skin into the middle of one of Shaun’s balls. He injected the contents of the syringe into Shaun’s ball. Shaun drew in a breath.

“Does it hurt?” I asked

“It stings,” he said.

Roger injected Shaun’s other ball.

“Am I a eunuch, now?” asked Shaun.

“Nah, it’s gonna take several shots over a month or two,” said Roger. If you decide to quit, now, you balls will probably recover.”

“I don’t want to quit,” said Shaun.

We went home. Shaun was spending the night with me.

Tomorrow was Saturday.

His balls swelled some, but he kept ice on the, so they didn’t hurt so much. The next day, most of the swelling had gone down, and other being a little numb, they seemed OK. Sex was good. If anything, Shaun was more turned on than ever. I have to admit that idea of his getting castrated excited me. I wanted it to happen. I didn’t know how it was going to affect our sex life, but that didn’t matter. If we never had sex again, it would be all right. I liked it; I liked it a lot; but I loved Shaun. I wanted whatever would make him happy. I was still afraid that being a eunuch wouldn’t, but it was what he wanted. No one could have talked me out of being castrated. I guess I had no right trying to talk Shaun out of being castrated.

Roger injected him every few days over about a twelve week period. Shaun’s balls shrunk, becoming hard lumps no bigger than olives. I could squeeze them, and he would feel nothing. He got where he could only shoot clear liquid. He could still get a hard-on, but he had to work at it.

“Am I a eunuch?” he asked Roger one day.

“Fuck, I guess. I can’t even find a place to stick a needle in them anymore. Those fuckers are dead for sure.”

“Are you glad?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t jack off at all last week, and I don’t even miss it.”

“Wait a week and tell your parents there’s something wrong with you balls,” said Roger. “Show them to your dad, and he’ll take you to the doctor for sure.”

Shaun told his dad about his balls. He said they hurt, but they didn’t. They rode high in his ball sac, and without heavy balls stretching it, his ball sac had shrunk. Shaun’s dad took one look at his son’s balls and called the doctor.

I thought he’d get them cut out right away, but they did all kinds of tests first, ultrasound and shit like that; biopsies, too, I guess. Finally, they decided they were dead and cut them out. I wanted to be there to see it, but they wouldn’t let me.

Shaun had two little cuts, one on each side of his scrotum, up high next to his dick. I think there were maybe two stitches in each cut. The doctor had fished a ball out through each cut and sliced it off. Roger had pretty well spit my scrotum from top to bottom.

It was hard to keep Shaun in bed. He was only a little sore, but I guess that was because his balls had already been dead. Two or three days later and he was up and around, like nothing had happened. Nothing had really, I guess. His balls had been dead for weeks. His doctor tried to put him on a testosterone regimen, but he wouldn’t take his shots. He said he wanted to be a eunuch not a ball-less boy. Guess who he’d heard that from? We no longer fucked, but it didn’t really matter. I’d only wanted to fuck because he needed to get off. Now, that he didn’t, we cuddled and kissed but did little more.

Shaun made out on his castration. People, his family, relatives, friends of the family, and kids at school brought him presents and sent him cards with cash in them. Everyone felt sorry for him. None of them, of course, knew he wanted to be castrated. None of them knew he’d let Roger kill his balls. The doctors couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong; they didn’t suspect alcohol injections, so everyone figured it was a natural catastrophe and that Shaun would be devastated over losing his balls. What boy wouldn’t?

I wasn’t. I never regretted for a moment losing mine. I was afraid Shaun would regret it, when it really sank in what he’d done, but he didn’t. It blew my mind. He was jacking off three or four times a day and enjoying it. He loved having me blow him; and he loved fucking me. I figured he would go on testosterone – I had expected all along that he would – but he refused it. Despite all the pressure from his doctor and from his parents, he refused testosterone in any form.

I was a little jealous that Shaun told everyone he’d been castrated. I couldn’t tell anyone I had been; other than Mom and Roger, Shaun was the only one that knew.

Mom doesn’t have health insurance, so going to the doctor isn’t something we do. No doctor had seen my empty ball sac. I hadn’t taken a shower after Gym, and when I dressed out for Gym, I changed standing halfway into my locker, so no one could tell I had no balls. I wanted everyone to know, but it would have caused problems. No doctor had removed my balls.

Shaun

Every guy in our Gym class gathered around to see my empty ball sac. They were expecting me to be sad and depressed over losing my balls, but I lifted my dick so they could get a better look at my scrotum and let a couple guys touch it. I let one squeeze the sides of my scrotum together to prove I had nothing inside it.

“Cool, huh?” I said.

That dropped a lot of mouths. I don’t think any of the guys knew how to respond to that remark.

As I remember, Mark Jackson said, “Cool? You lost your fucking balls. What’s cool about that?”

“I’m a eunuch.”

“You’re what?”

“A eunuch – e-u-n-u-c-h. Look it up. Eunuchs were some of the most powerful people in history. Did you know Zheng He, China’s greatest admiral, was a eunuch.

“I’ve never heard of Zheng what’s his face,” said Mark.

“Well, he commanded the biggest navy ancient China ever had. Look him up. Balls just get in the way. All you guys think about is jacking off and fucking and shit like that. It’s a waste of time. When you aren’t doing it, you’re thinking about it. All you do on the Internet is look for porn. I know. I was just like you when I had balls. Now, that crap doesn’t mean shit to me. I haven’t jacked off for a couple of months.”

It probably had been that long. My balls had been cut out only a couple weeks before, but Roger had started injecting my balls a good four months ago. He had injected them over a period of about three months; I had waited a week after Roger had stopped injecting them before telling my parents; and my doctor had done weeks of testing before finally deciding to cut them out.

“I like jacking off,” some kid in the back said.

“I used to,” I said, “but I had to jack off. I’ll bet you can’t go a day without doing it. What a waste of time. I don’t expect to ever jack off again.”

Later, at Kim’s house, he asked me, “You really don’t miss jacking off?”

I shook my head.

“I tried to stop jacking off, when Roger first started to shoot up my balls, but I couldn’t stop.”

“I still don’t know why you wanted to be castrated,” I said. “I was born a eunuch, but you were definitely born a boy. You liked being a boy. You liked jacking off; you liked having sex with me – at least, I sure thought you liked it. You did like fucking, didn’t you?”

I nodded.

“Why did you do it, then? Why did you want to be castrated? I know I told you how much I liked it, but I never said you should be castrated.”

I shrugged:

“I don’t know. It wasn’t like I woke up one day and decided I wanted to be castrated. It turned me on that you didn’t have balls and some of the things you said, like how you didn’t want to be controlled by you balls, started to make sense to me. I realized I was controlled by my balls. I couldn’t go a day without jacking off. Did you know I even jacked off once in the back seat of our car with my mom and dad in the front seat? All either one of them had to do was turn their head, and they would have caught me.”

“Why’d you do that?”

I shrugged again; I didn’t tell him about how I had exposed myself to kids – I’d only done it a couple of times.

“I don’t know. That’s the problem. The shit balls pump into you causes you to do all kinds of crazy things. You can’t understand, because you had your balls cut off before puberty. I knew they were making me do crazy things – hell, they were making me crazy. It wasn’t until I knew you were castrated and saw the difference between you and me that I saw how crazy they were making me. That’s when I started wondering what I would be like without balls. I started reading everything I could find out about eunuchs on the Internet.”

He didn’t have a computer at his house. The only place he can get on the Internet, unless he was over at my house, was at school and at the library, and you can’t get on any of the good sites there. He can only see the good stuff on my computer.

“Is there a bunch of stuff about eunuchs on the Internet?” he asked.

“All kinds of shit,” I said. “I found a site – you’re supposed to be eighteen, but who’s gonna know – that’s all about eunuchs. They have stories, fictional, I guess, about guys – kids, even – getting their balls and dicks cut off. I don’t know how many times I jacked off reading those stories. There’s also a message board; and many of the guys on it have had their balls cut off. A lot of them did it, because they didn’t want to be controlled by their balls. The more I read, the more sense it made to me. And it turned me on to think about having my balls cut off. I thought about you, about how cool you looked without balls…”

“You think I look cool without balls?”

“Sure,” I said. “If you think about it, balls are pretty ugly, hanging from your dick like they do. I like how I look without them; I wish I could get rid of my empty ball sac; it’s ugly; yours is all shrunk up. I wish mine would shrink.”

“It probably will. You just had your balls cut out, and you had big balls, which stretched it out. My balls were small. That’s why you wanted to be castrated, to look cool?”

“No. Weren’t you listening? That was only part of it. I didn’t want to be controlled by my balls and all the other things I said, too; and I read about past eunuchs. Some of them were pretty cool. Some of them ruled kingdoms, maybe not in their own names, but they were the power behind the throne. You wanted to be a eunuch; you didn’t want to be a boy; why do you think it’s not right for me? Look at the boys our age at school. Are they cool?”

“No.”

“See. I figured I could be like them, or I could be a eunuch like you, and I decided I’d rather be like you. If I kept my balls, I would be just like them; I couldn’t help but be like them; because I would be controlled by my balls just like they are. Sure, I guess some boys should keep their balls; but I can’t think of many of the guys we know at school that wouldn’t be better off without theirs. I mean, it’s not like I was ever going to have any kids. You spoiled me for girls. If I’d kept my balls, and you wouldn’t fuck me, I’d probably gone looking for another eunuch.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Do you know why you feel like you do about everything? All I knew was when I got horny, I thought about you, about how cool you were without balls. Sometimes, I thought about some of the other guys at school, about how cool they would be without balls.”

“Who?”

I grinned:

“Tommy Wilkins. Don’t you think he should be castrated? He would make a cute eunuch. He has a small dick and a little patch of pubic hair. I think he just started puberty last summer. He should get castrated before puberty changes him too much.”

“Yeah, he would make a cute eunuch.”

I thought of the pubic hair splashed across my groin. I thought about my six inch dick and the big balls I used to have. I could imagine Tommy as a eunuch. Tommy was slender with coal black hair on his head and on his crotch, but he had milk white skin and electric blue eyes. He was a looker, would make a cute eunuch, and with longer hair, would even make a cute girl. I imagined him without balls. Yeah, he would make a cute eunuch.

“Anyone else?” he asked.

“James Stoner. Don’t you think he would make a good eunuch? Besides, I think he wants to be one. He keeps asking me what it’s like.”

“Yeah, James would make a good eunuch. Is that all?”

“There’s a couple more that the thought of their being eunuchs turned me on, but they were the main ones. Of course, a hell of a lot of the others would just be better people, if they no longer had balls.”

“Yeah,” Kim said, “I can think of a bunch of them that shouldn’t have balls.”

“A bunch?” I said. “Hell, most of them would be better off without balls. I’m better off without them, don’t you think?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. I liked you with them; and I like you without them. You’re probably right, though. You’re probably better off without them. You were pretty well controlled by them.”

“I think so,” I said. “I’m glad I had them cut off. I like being a eunuch. We’re special; we’re neither boys nor girls; we’re special.”