Speculations

This is an essay as opposed to a story; the musings herein are on the current conditions in male/female relationships.

The proposition is this: Latest survey’s show that in the under 30 married couple’s; the wife is twice as likely to have an extra martial affair as the husband. In the under 20 crowd oral sex, i.e. she blows him, he eats her, is not considered sex. As a result we have 11 and 12 year old girls performing fellatio as a friendly greeting.

The premise is this if you are male or female are reading this: Sir you are leaving tracks for someone else to follow. Madam you are getting ideas.

Personally I believe that woman have always been more agreeable to a fast slap and tickle as it were. It is indeed a wise man that knows his own father. In the old days the stay at home mom’s had all the opportunity in the world for a quick push here and there. Remember the old joke: “The postman has the longest root in town.” Probably a lot of truth to that statement. Deliverymen, work men, etc. Can’t you just see your wife, chest on the kitchen table being mounted from behind by some home repairman? She probably prefers this position since it seems less personal. Perhaps she for some misguided reason engages in anal intercourse, since this does not produce children and again now a days is not considered sex, therefore no guilt. Or a quick blowjob for the COD delieveryman.

Then there is the distaff side, what about the big weight lifting female FX delivery person. Can’t you just see her with her face buried in your wife’s crotch in the middle of the living room floor? It could happen.

A few interesting asides: The actual percentage of the general population that is hardcore or exclusively homosexual, a term applied to both male and female is 6.4%, not the 10% that the lobbyist would like you to believe. This does not of course include situational or institutional homosexual activity; that takes place in prisons, the military, or long trips. The figure jumps to 40%, on this type of situational homosexuality, these people are basically heterosexual but need to get off when there is no other avenue except someone the same sex. Lips are lips, and assholes are assholes.

Now days with the majority of family’s requiring two incomes, you have a different set of circumstances. A cute salesman takes you wife out to lunch, and to thank him, she blows him on the drive back. She gets her raise by getting the boss off. Not really working on the Acme report, instead she is spread over the copy machine getting porked.

Or she shares a joint with one of the warehouse guys and gets a ridden on the forklift.

My point is if your are a man and you are reading this you should have all kinds of worries. Let us take one particular case. Man 32 years old two children both under ten, wife of similar age, both well educated and working. The man likes to relax a little, surf some porn, and visits the EA and gets fascinated with the stories.

In their infinite female curiosity the wife discovers EA on the computers history, because the man is too dumb to put in a firewall or erase completely. By the way you can have the best firewall in the world and there are sites out there that will still leave tracks.

The wife finds the history when the husband is away, and reads the stories herself. She is at first horrified, then fascinated. She cannot accept that this is a diversion and not some deep-seated desire on your part to become a eunuch. Then she discusses this with her friends, they too are at first horrified, but then come to an agreement. With two children there is no need for reproduction so why not nut you. Your sex life has tapered off in any event, and the man should be concentrating on increasing his income and not women or exotic writing.

Since women seem to need more agreement and concurrence then men, she, the wife, and her two friends decide that since you are interested in castration, let’s give him his desire. The wife’s infidelities and indiscretions are forgotten in this discussion, but in the back of her mind she knows she has a pussy, and with one of those she can get all the dick’s she wants. For the husband something more is wanted.

On Saturday morning the husband awakens to find himself tied to the bed. The wife and her two friends are the giggling; the children are away for the weekend.

‘Well dear’ says the wife, ‘I found your secret favorite websites, and today you get your wish, we are going to castrate you. Don’t thank me, I think it is a wonderful idea.’

The man starts to scream and yell that it is all a mistake.

‘Oh no dear.’ Says the wife, ‘You go there all the time, now the girls and I have read everything there and we know just how to do you, real quick with a minimum of pain, then you will be all nice and calm and can concentrate on earning more money.’

The man continues to yell, so the ladies stuff some clothing in his mouth and tape it shut.

The quickly make two incisions in his scrotum, pull the balls free, stretch the cords and cut the balls off. These they flush down the commode so there will be no reattachment. Then with a .99-cent bottle of instant glue they close the scrotum. A few aspirin, acetaminophen and codeine for the pain, which only lasts about two days, then back to work.

To help the husband along with his transition, the wife starts feeding him her birth control pills. This leads to an unfortunate accident and 12 months later she gives birth to another child. The father’s identity is a matter of speculation. Now the husband is a eunuch, cuckold, and faced with the prospect of raising a bastard child as his own.

Let’s be careful out there.