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"It's like thishhh..." Josh slurred. "I think...with my dick, you know?" He took a swig of his beer. "I mean...it's like I can't control, it." He belched. The man sitting next to him smiled. "I've known a lot of guys in that position," he said. He was a large man, in his 40's, well built, with a shaven head and a goatee. Various tattoos showed around the wifebeater he was wearing. "Always glad to lend a helping hand." "Huh?" Josh slurred. "Whaddyou...mean?" "Come on outside with me, we'll have a smoke, get some fresh air," the man suggested. "Okay." Fresh air...a cigarette. Yeah, that sounded pretty good to Josh. He felt like he was floating as he walked out behind the guy. He was at that good part of drunk, where he was pleasantly on the heavy side of buzzed, but not so drunk he was going to get all sick or tired or anything. Outside the man walked around the corner of the house. Josh wondered if he was going to pull out a joint, but no, it was just cigarettes. The guy offered him one, and he took it. "So how do you help out guys who...think with their dicks?" He felt a lot more sober out here, but still wavered a bit as he stood there taking a drag from his cigarette. "It's pretty simple, really. Whip it out," the man told him. "Hey, uh, dude, I'm not really into this gay shit..." Josh protested. "This isn't gay shit. Trust me on this. Pull it out," the man commanded. "Uh...okay..." Josh felt completely intimidated, but he did it. He undid his pants and pulled out his long, floppy cock. "Hold still," the man ordered him. He came in close to Josh, put his hand on Josh's cock, grasping it tightly at the sides behind his balls, right where the root of it met his groin, and pulled! "Ah!" Josh cried out, a short little moan of pain, but then felt...cool. Cold, almost. But not in pain. He looked down to see the main holding his cock and balls, in one neat little package. He could feel them still...the man's hand on his balls, touching his cock. He looked down at his groin to see that it was completely smooth...the frizzy hair around it gone, and not even a little hole to piss from. The man put Josh's cock and balls into his pocket. "This is how I'll help you." He kept his hand in his pocket and idly played with Josh's genitals. "Pull your pants up," he ordered the college boy. Josh complied, enjoying the feeling of the man's hand jostling his junk, but so confused... "I'll keep your pride and joy this semester. It will be in a nice glass box on display, with a glass case and a label, temperature controlled and floating in a gel kept at exactly seventy-two degrees. No matter what, your cock and your balls will feel exactly the same, all the time. "You, on the other hand, will be free to concentrate on things other than sex, since you so obviously cannot have it." The man knew this to be false, of course, but he also knew that Josh wouldn't be so...adventurous to have realized it. "You said you wanted to raise your GPA this semester, and how your weight training was being neglected because you were too busy fucking. This semester, you will raise yor GPA by one full point, and you will add fifty pounds to your squat and thirty to your bench press. If you do, you get your cock and balls back. If you don't, I keep them until you do." "What?" Josh staggered back against the wall, rubbing his groin through his jeans. "Don't worry, I'll keep my eyes on you. And I'll keep these," he patted his pocket, "safe." With that, he walked back out around the corner of the bar and out of view. Josh stumbled around after him but didn't see him anywhere...he looked all around, but the guy was nowhere to be seen. Josh went straight home after that, took off all his clothes, and lay in bed. On the way home on the train he could feel hands take his cock and balls out of the pocket, wash them with soap and water, dry them, and lay them in a gooey substance. It was a bit cool at first, but then it just felt like...nothing. Nothing at all. He could feel that they were there, and when he had a boner, but Josh couldn't get any stimulation from it at all. The next morning he awoke with a boner. He lay on his bed, nude, staring at his bare crotch, and just cried. He was so horny. He needed to get off so badly...but couldn't. He lay awake the entire night, so horny he could explode, rubbing his barren groin idly with his hand, wishing there was something there for him to play with, but finding nothing. That day he got used to walking around without his genitals attached. He could feel them still, and when he pissed he could feel the urine leaving his dick, but then...nothing. That afternoon when he went to work out, Josh nearly stripped down afterward to take a shower at the gym, but realized then everybody would know...would know that he didn't have a dick, or balls, anymore, and it wasn't like he could explain where they went. "Fine, then," he muttered to himself on the way home. "If the only way I can get my dick back is to study and work out, then I will." Starting that very night, he hit the books, and settled into a routine for the semester - class, workout, shower, dinner, study, bed. He stopped going to the parties on the weekends pretty quickly; what was the point? He could go, look at the hot chicks, and then...what? Get drunk and stumble home? He didn't see much point. After a few weeks Josh barely thought about his dick anymore, and had gotten used to being constantly horny. The wet spots on his sheets were kind of a pain, but they had become a normal part of life for him now. The heavy workouts and studying were paying off, too, which he liked - although having the best body in the world seemed pretty pointless if he didn't have a cock to fuck with. Still, he liked the effect it was having on him. As the semester wound to a close, Josh wondered when he would see the guy again. His grades were improving, he had all A's and a B so far. He hadn't quite made the gains he was supposed to; he was benching twenty pounds more than he used to and squatting forty but hadn't quite hit the 30/50 mark the man had set for him. On the last day of classes, Josh got out of his last final and breathed a final sigh of relief. Now he just needed to find the guy who had his cock and balls! Even though it was the last day of classes, he still headed to the gym in his usual routine. There weren't many people there, and after his first few sets, Josh was the only guy in the room. He went on to squats, lifted the bar onto his shoulders, and went down to start the first rep. As Josh thrust himself upward, his legs barely producing enough power to push himself up, he felt a pair of hands grasp him at his sides. "That's only forty-five, boy. And twenty on your bench." Josh started to turn around, but the hands gripped him tightly. "Don't turn around, just keep on with the set." The man didn't say much else, but just used his hands to guide Josh's torso and keep him in form. "You did get your grades up, though, boy." Josh grunted as he squeezed out his last rep, and let the bar fall onto the rack. Before he could spin to face the man who had stolen his manhood, the hands gripped him again. "So you're not gonna get your cock back." "What?!? Come on!" Josh pleaded. "I was so close! You have to know I've been working my ass off!" "Yeah, you have. But you missed your goal. Still, I'll give ya a little something." The man tore Josh's thin workout shorts off. Josh hadn't worn a jock or underwear for months now, and as the man roughly pushed his hard member inside Josh's virgin ass, the boy cried a bit, uselessly thrusting his empty groin forward as he struggled to get away. Even with his newfound strength he couldn't break the man's grip, and had to stand and take it as the man held him tightly and pounded his cock over and over again into him. When the man finally slowed to a stop, left his cock in him, and Josh felt a warmth spread throughout his gut, he knew it was finally over...or so he thought. A powerful arm closed around his neck and put him into a headlock. He no longer bothered struggling, but lay there limp in the man's arm. "Always nice when they finally learn not to struggle," he heard the gruff voice of his captor mutter in his ear. "This is the deal, boy. I'm keepin' that cock and balls of yours for another semester, and now you got a new goal. You pulled a 3.8 this semester. Keep it above 3.6 and add another thirty to your bench and, say, forty to your squats, and you'll get 'em back." Josh tried to say something but it just came out as a weak gurgling. The man squeezed tighter, putting him in a sleeper hold. "And you might want to take notice that you have a big fucking boner right now." As Josh lost consciousness he realized the man was right. Christmas break went quickly. Josh enjoyed seeing his family, his old friends, but was ready to come back. He wasn't happy about being dickless for another semester, but after failing to get his dick back, he resolve was set and he was ready. He hit the weights harder than ever and the books as hard as he had the last semester, but the nagging memory of his assraping stayed with him. "Why did I get a boner as he fucked me?" Josh wondered to himself. "And why does my dick get hard every time I think about it?" And it was...he could feel it, floating in its tank, wherever it was. On a Friday, about halfway through the semester, he had stayed late at the gym. The surly, beefy student attending it was about to close up, but left Josh alone as he flexed, shirtless, in the mirror, enjoying the fruits of his labors. It was when he struck a double bicep pose that he noticed someone watching him. He hadn't seen the guy in here before. Pretty good looking guy, Josh noted - real good build to him. He was standing about twenty feet behind Josh on the other side of the weight rack, staring at Josh's reflection in the mirror. He noticed Josh looking at him and his head quickly went back down to the weights, where he pulled off a dumbbell and quickly turned to the mirror, curling with such concentration that it was obvious he was embarrassed to have been seen. Probably queer, Josh thought to himself, even as he continued stealing glances at the guy in the mirror. Man, he must work out all the time, Josh thought. Now it was his turn to stare admiringly at the guy's bicep as it flexed, lifting the weight up to his protruding chest. When the guy switched to raising them over his head Josh followed the guy's tricep as it bulged out from his arm, his back and obliques... "When you two are done staring at each other, I need to lock up the room," came the voice of the surly attendant from behind him. "Oh, uh, sorry," Josh answered him, not making eye contact. He was mortified to be seen staring at the other guy, but even as he hurriedly shuffled out to the locker room he stole glances as the other dude gathered up his towel and shirt. In the locker room Josh grabbed his bag out of his locker and was about to turn to leave when the object of his attentions came in. They made brief eye contact, and Josh said, "Hey." The guy nodded back to him and started stripping down to bathe. Josh found himself diddling around with the shit in his locker, trying to steal glances at the other guy. "Look dude, if you wanna look, just look." Josh turned to his right to see the guy standing there, wearing only his shorts still. His muscles were pumped and bulging, glistening with the light sheen of sweat. "Uh, I, um...I wasn't, uh..." Josh stammered, even more embarrassed than he had been. "You're not so bad yourself," the guy said to him, looking Josh over up and down. "Oh, uh, thanks..." "You up for a little...?" the guy cocked his head toward the shower. "Oh, uh, no, I, um..." Josh continued stammering. "I, uh..." What? I don't have a cock? I'm not queer? Josh was completely flustered, at a total loss for what to say. The guy turned around and dropped his shorts, revealing a smooth, bubble ass. Josh's eyes bugged out of his head. He could feel his dick, rock hard...God, he wanted to fuck! "Look, I can't," he started, "I just..." He was about to say he just couldn't when the guy turned back around. Josh's eyes immediately went to the other guys' groin, where he saw...nothing. No hair. No cock. Nothing but the smooth skin of his lowest abdominals muscles running down between his legs. Just like him. Josh just stood there, in shock. His brain had shut down completely. The guy came right up to Josh and stood in front of him. Josh could smeel his sweat, feel the other man's breath on his face. He felt arms on his back, and the man slowly pulled Josh to him. Their bare chests rubbed together and the man gently kissed Josh on the neck. Josh didn't know what to do...it felt so nice to be held by somebody else, and this guy...something attracted Josh to him. Was he gay now or something? Was it because his dick was gone? What had happened to this guys' cock? Josh had too many questions and no answers, but as the man's body rubbed up against his, hard muscle and mansweat up against his own, Josh no longer cared. He stood there, stunned, as the other man slowly dropped to his knees, kissing Josh's torso down as he went, and did nothing as the man pulled Josh's shorts down to his ankles. His nipples could have cut glass, and his skin was rough with goosebumps. He felt the man's warmth as his tongue lapped at Josh's empty groin, and Josh moaned quietly. This...this wasn't like sex, the way he was used to it. This was different, but still...good. For the next half hour Josh learned how to have sex without genitals. He felt the feel of a man's rough touch, kissed another man romantically for the first time, even had a tongue up his ass, even put his tongue up the other guy's ass...it was like a complete sexual re-education, and then the orgasm... It had taken a long time building in him, slowly reaching its peak, and then suddenly Josh felt his entire body shudder, felt his balls pump the fluid up through his prostate and out through his dismembered dick...and then the glow, that feeling of complete calm. Josh lay back on the tile, now warm with their activity, while the other man straddled him. Josh stared at their groins, the man's smooth one facing him, and his just below it. "How long's it been?" the guy asked him. "A semester and a half." The guy nodded slowly. "What's your name?" "Josh. What's yours?" He just realized he'd had sex (well, sort of) with another man for the first time but didn't even know the guy's name. "Rob. Good to meet you, man." Rob smiled. "Yeah. I guess I never thought anybody else would be, you know..." Josh glanced down at their crotches for a moment. "There aren't many," Rob said. "Back when I was a sophomore I knew a junior that was. He woulda graduated last year, though." "So yours has been gone for..." "Three and a half years," Rob finished. "The guy took it at the end of my first semester." "Oh, man," Josh empathised. "That's...terrible!" "You get used to it." "So...who is he?" Josh asked, knowing Rob would know who he meant. "I don't know," Rob answered him. "Hey, you wanna get up?" He stood, and gave Josh a hand up. They both started to dress and continued talking. "He caught me walking home after a study group I left early. Pulled me off to the side and took 'em, and I haven't seen my dick since. Every semester he finds me again, asks if I want it back." "What? And you said no?!?" Josh was incredulous. "Except for my first semester, I've made the dean's list every year. When I came to college I was a skinny, dopey stoner, and now I'm almost valedictorian of my class and can kick the shit out just about anybody. I figure if living without my cock for a few years got me this, I can handle it until I graduate. To be honest, I'm glad he took it. If he hadn't, I'd still be a skinny stoner would probably would have dropped out of school after his second semester." Josh realized Rob had a really good point there...that was pretty much the only reason he'd really worked as hard as he had, either. His body, his grades...he'd just never had the motivation before. Still...he wanted his dick back. Josh and Rob saw each other every once in awhile over the next few weeks. They enjoyed hanging out and started working out together, pushing each other even further. Their classes were different, but they started studying together too, just to have someone else there...it felt nice. Josh had gotten so used to being alone most of the time he hadn't really really even noticed how little he interacted with other people until he met Rob. They didn't have sex...or whatever it is, Josh would think...often. He didn't really mind all that much, though...sometimes they'd spoon in bed when one would sleep in the other's room, but Josh was content just to hold him, not always even getting an erection from it. They both felt it was for the best, however - too much distraction and they were screwed. It worked so well that by the end of the semester, both had gone far beyond the physical goals set for them, and both were confident they'd pull straight A's this semester. Still, neither slacked off for fear they'd blow it. Even as their muscles grew larger than ever, the two continued to push each other to work harder. The last day of finals approached rapidly, and the two made it through with flying colors. On the last day of the school year, the two went to the gym for one last time - Rob had now graduated and was off to Seattle for his post-college job. It was partially symbolic, a parting of the ways, but Rob also had someone he still needed to meet. At the end of their workout, the man with their genitals had yet to show. "This is where he got me last time," Josh reasoned, "so I figured he'd come here again." "He got me, here, too," Rob agreed. "I dunno." Josh finished his last rep for the day. "Man," he muttered, sitting up. "I'm sweating like a pig." He peeled off his once loose but now bursting workout shirt and wiped his brow with it, his pecs heaving. "Damn, bro," Rob exclaimed, reaching out to squeeze Josh's arm. "You have gotten huge this semester." "Hell, yeah," Josh answered him. "And I worked my ass off for it, too." He stood up and flexed his arms for the mirror. "A beast!" he shouted to his reflection, striking more poses just for the fun of it, the both of them admiring his body. "Still nothing compared to me, kiddo," Rob smiled, peeling his own shirt off. Rob had two years' head start on Josh, and it showed - while Josh had made enormous gains, Rob had nearly double it. "Shit, man, I never really noticed before how fuckin' huge you really are, Rob," Josh complimented him. Rob joined him in some poses. "Gimme another year and I'll be whipping your ass, though," he smiled. "Yeah, yeah, bring it on," Rob mock-challenged him. Josh shrugged and looked away for a moment, then tackled Rob, full on. The larger man fell to the ground beneath him and the two struggled for a few minutes. Rob was the stronger man, and although Josh knew more about how to wrestle, he eventually lost out to Rob's strength and mass. He forced him onto his back and pinned the sophomore to the mat. For an awkwardly long time, the two stared at each other for a moment, panting. Had they genitals, this would be...different, and they both knew it. For the briefest instant, Rob wanted desperately to fuck Josh silly, but...then, he didn't. He didn't want to, well, fuck anything, really...pinning his buddy was all he was really trying to do. "Uh, hey, big guy, I'm gonna go hit the showers, okay?" Rob broke from his reverie. "Oh, uh, sorry...okay..." he got up off of Josh and helped him up. "Seeya in there," Josh intimated, patting Rob's empty groin. "I'll, uh, be in in a minute," Rob answered him, a little freaked out. He sat and stared at himself in the mirror. A quick glance around told him he was alone in the gym, and he simply stared at himself, taking a long, hard look at his body. Slowly, he inched his shorts down over his thighs, and let them fall to the floor. His gaze settled on the reflection of his smooth groin in the mirror. On a whim, he flexed a few muscles, did a few poses, all the while staring at his groin. He pulled down and raised his arms up, looking at his delts, his crotch, his abs...and closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing it with his fingertips, imagining what it would feel like to have his dick again...his tiny, pathetic, shrunken, shriveled little thing. He knew. He'd felt it in the goo, when he got erections...and he had known it would happen. The man had told him it would, years ago, when Rob first made his goals. When he could have had it back, but first chose not to. When the man offered him something for it, he accepted...at first not knowing the full price. A pair of strong arms grabbed him from behind and threw him to the floor. "Ack! Hey! Quit it out, Josh, I...hey..." Arms stronger than Josh's forced him onto his stomach. "I'm not Josh, Robert ol' pal," came the familiar voice. "Looks like you graduated. Looks like you made your goals." "Yeah," Rob answered, practically struck dumb. "So you get your dick back, boy, if that little thing'll make ya happy." Rob stayed silent. "But something tells me..." the man continued, keeping Rob pinned on the floor, "...that you don't really want it back, do you?" Rob sighed. "No." "Didn't think so. Learned ta like it, eh, boy?" With no hesitation this time, Rob answered, "Yes." "So what if I told you I could make it permanent, eh? But separate it completely - you'll never feel it again. It'll be just like it was cut off completely." Rob thought for a moment. Do I really want this? he wondered to himself, but the voice in him said yes. Why not? It wouldn't be any good attached to him anymore. "Do it. Take it." "Good boy," the voice answered him, and an arm went under his neck, roughly yanking him up to face the mirror but keeping him from turning his head. The man stood behind him, Rob's own body blocking him from view. He could see the man was not very hairy...had a tan... He had always known the man was muscular, but now able to see his arms and legs, thick as tree trunks...the man's body was pressed up against his back, and Rob could feel his pecs pushing into him, his abs up against his back, and his groin against his ass. He could feel that the man behind him was as smooth as he was. The mystery man reached a thick arm, coiled with muscle, around Rob's body and lay a hand on his crotch. Rob felt a feeling of warmth, and could tell his dick was hard. The warmth turned to burning, but only lasted a moment, and then...nothing. Rob felt unlike he ever had before...it was almost like a sense of newfound freedom. "Close your eyes," the man told him, putting a hand over Rob's eyes and moving his head downward. Another hand moved Rob's to his own crotch. "Feel it." The man guided Rob's hand around his own groin. His dick had been gone for years, but...now it felt different. The tightness from his erections was gone, and before he had still always just...felt it, even when he hadn't realized it. But now... A few moments later, he opened his eyes to once again find himself alone. Inside the locker room, the hot water against the cold tile had filled the showers with steam. Josh couldn't even see his own belly button, much less the floor. Happily he started washing away the sweat and grime of his workout and day in general, humming a bit as he shampooed his hair. Today was the day I get my dick back, he thought to himself. "So you did it," the voice came. "Huh?" Josh opened his eyes without thinking, and the shampoo started to sting. He whipped around to wash his face off, shouting through the water, "Who's there? Where are you?" but already knowing. "You pulled a 4.0, congratulations. And your body...I must say, you've exceeded all expectations," the voice complimented him. "You deserve a reward." Josh's feeling towards finally regaining his manhood were bittersweet. Both Rob's leaving, and a sudden fear that with his genitals returned to him, he would continue on his previous path through life had left him feeling apprehensive, and uneasy. "Yeah..." he answered the voice. "Thanks..." Josh's voice trailed off as he spoke, unsure what to say next. "I would think you'd be happy," the voice came. "You can have your things back." "Yeah. About that..." Josh started. He sighed, now determined in what he was going to ask. "Look, um, I'm thinking maybe it would be best if you just, uh, um...kept 'em. You know...as motivation." "Very well, Josh, I will. From now on, however, you will have to set your own goals. I'll keep an eye on you, and if I don't think you're working hard enough, you'll know it. Do a good job, and I'll see you next semester." "Wait!" Josh cried out. "Stop!" "Yes?" "I don't mean you keep them...for awhile. I mean...look, just, you can have them, okay?" "Forever?" "Yes, forever!" Josh was getting exasperated. He heard noises behind him and felt the grip of the man's arm around his throat, and his other grasping at Josh's groin. Like Rob, he felt the warmth, the burning, then...nothing. Four months later, Josh went back to the campus gym for the first time. He'd put his summer to good use, not missed a workout even once. He missed Rob, but kept in touch with him. Both had hugged each other after their decisions to make their empty groins permanent, but feelings of sex no longer seemed...appropriate. Josh got into it on the obliques machine, and another kid caught his eye. Young guy, probably a freshman. A lot of them would come in for the first week or so of every semester, but then most would stop. This kid looked different though - unlike the now ex-high school jocks that were usually in, this kid looked a little timid. He was completely out of place in a Rancid T-shirt and soccer shorts, and looked in general like he didn't have the slightest idea what to do here. Something told Josh to keep an eye on him, and he watched as the kid walked around the gym. He walked a little funny, Josh noticed, but mostly he watched him because he felt a little sorry for him - not in a pity kind of way, but the way you feel sad for a lost puppy. He finished up on the obliques machine and caught the kid as he was intently reading one of the posters on the wall describing how to use the nautilus machines. "Hey, I'm Josh. What's your name?" he asked the kid. The freshman blinked, the look on his face somewhere between surprise and outright panic. "I'm, uh, Nate, um...hi." "You looked a little lost. I was wondering if maybe you wanted some help, somebody to show you around?" Josh offered. It occurred to him that the last time he used that line was on a girl at an amusement park in high school. It hadn't worked then. "Oh...um, yeah, sure!" Nate perked up when he realized Josh only wanted to help. He had been a little freaked out when this ripped guy had just come up to him all suddenly like that. "When I started lifting I didn't know shit, and it took forever to get people to actually help me with anything," Josh said to him, trying to strike up a conversation. "So I try to help out guys who are just starting out." "Oh. Thanks. How long have you been doing it?" Nate asked, wondering how long it took to get that big. "I'm starting my junior year, and I started lifting when I was a freshman. Two years, I guess, less a week or two." "Wow." Nate couldn't hold it in. Only two years? "I push myself really hard, though," Josh finished, trying not to sound like he'd been bragging. "So, what are your goals..." he began questioning Nate, mentally coming up with a good workout for him. "Well, basically, to look like you," Nate told him. "That'll be easy," Josh smiled. "I'll just give ya the workout I used to do." He took Nate around to the various machines and free weights and showed him how to use them. What was it about this kid, he asked himself. Finally, on the bench press, he figured it out. Josh stood behind the bar, spotting Nate, giving him tips on proper form. Nate's legs were spread out, and his thin soccer shorts draped down over his midsection, showing every bit in perfect relief as Nate's stomach flexed when he pushed up the bar. It had taken Josh a moment to realize it, but... "So why'd you decide to start working out?" Josh asked Nate. "Oh. Well, I guess...something happened that really got me motivated, you know?" the freshman answered. Josh smiled, knowingly. "Follow me into the locker room for a minute..." |