|
Mom and Brendan had left about three hours earlier. Under other circumstances, I would have been envious that Bren was going to get to have all that fun without me, but as things stood all I could think about was how I should act so I didnt make things worse with Stephen when he and my Dad arrived from Gainesville. As soon as Moms car pulled out of the driveway, I was stuffing Brens crap into the bottom of the linen closet in the hallway. Dad told me before he left that Stephen was going to stay with me in the room I usually shared with my brother. I was going to do everything that I could to make that room feel like home for Stephen. The least I could do was to make sure that my little brothers dirty clothes were out of the way. How would Stephen react when he saw me? How could things possibly be the same? I was more than a little worried. Dad had taken me on a walk before he left and had explained how fragile Stephens psyche was evidently, theres just no way around a loss like this and its effect on a boys sexual identity. I couldnt imagine how hard it must have been for him to go through it all alone. How could he control his emotions without the loving support of a family and partner? Not only did he have strong feelings of self-loathing and regret because of what he had done to himself, but he also felt tremendous guilt for exposing me and Brendan to what he was going through. My Dad had taken over his psychiatric care and was trying hard to get him ready to come home, and I was very thankful he would be here with Stephen afterwards to make sure he was dealing with things in a healthy way. Dad wasnt going to be enough, though. Stephen needed me to be there for him. Nonetheless, I was going to have to be very careful about how I interacted with him in fact, my Dad had decided that all three of us should wear shorts until things were at more of a comfort level. Our nakedness would just serve to remind him of what he had lost, and it would be even more difficult for him to see me get hard just from being near him. What a slap in the face that would be. After I got all of Brens clothes stuffed away, I started going through my own things to find shorts and swim trunks that I could wear without having to do too much laundry. I have always hated house work, but not on that day. I was doing it for the boy I loved, and that made all the difference. Before stripping the beds in our room, I plopped down on what was soon to be Stephens bed the bed that still smelled like my brother. I couldnt help but let my eyes linger on the spinning blades of the ceiling fan. What was wrong with me? There I was, hard as a rock, fantasizing about what Stephen would look like when he was healed. I even found myself thinking about what Bren would look like if he got cut like he wanted. Then I sat up and looked over my stomach at the tuft of dark hair that supported my now hard six inches. As I looked at my cock bob and weave as the blood coursed through it and my pubic muscles twitched in urgency, I knew what had to happen. Somehow thinking about losing my own penis made it even harder, and I was overcome by the most wonderful feeling. It was butterflies in my stomach, but so much more. It was almost like my entire being was suffused with pure love. I closed my eyes and saw Stephens face, felt his hands in mine, felt him lying on top of me, our pubic hair mingling with no cocks to get in the way. As we embraced, arms and legs twined about each other, we belonged to each other completely. There was no more need for orgasm or for penetration. Fucking or sucking would just have been a waste of time when we could have that intimacy. When I opened my eyes again, I looked down. My cock was still standing tall, a trail of precum snaking its way down the shaft, but I didnt want to touch it. For the first time in my life, I wanted to forego my orgasm. My penis would get its need satisfied, but that last climax would be with Stephen on the night before I went to the clinic. I didnt care how long I had to wait for that night or for what would come afterward. Only then could Stephen and I be together like our bodies wanted. I had made up my mind, and I would move heaven and earth to see it happen. I love you little Robby, but you know this is how it has to be. My cock actually nodded in answer. ********** The nurses had been very kind, but even so I could still sense pity in their eyes and I hated them for it. Every time they brought me a meal or a pill, every time they came to change my dressings, I could almost sense the pity in the room like another person. Aww, thats the poor boy who had his penis cut off, I imagined them saying to each other at the nurses station as they looked at my chart. When Dr. Emerson walked in, he was like a breath of fresh air. I never saw pity in his eyes just caring and concern. He walked over to the chair where I was sitting and put his hand on my head. How are you feeling this morning, Stephen? Better, Doc. Im not as sore as I have been for the last couple of days, and peeing doesnt even burn any more. I didnt mean that, Stephen. Hows your mood today? Did you sleep well last night? Oh right. I grinned. I dont know. I slept some, but I kept waking up because it felt like I had a boner. As soon as I feel of the bandages, it goes away like it was never there. Then that reminds me its really gone, and I guess I get a little sad about it. When I first wake up, I feel like I really have to piss or beat off or something, and for a minute I dont even realize thats its not really there. Its relatively common for people who have lost an appendage to have some phantom sensation from it, so its nothing to worry about from a purely medical stand point. Im more worried about how it makes you feel. I know you regret what has happened, Stephen, but have you tried to get in touch with those feelings you had before the procedure like we talked about last night? You described to me why you felt like you had to have a penectomy maybe if you can reconnect with those feelings you can begin to come to terms with what you have lost and why. I thought about it a lot last night before I fell asleep, but it was really hard to remember why the need was so strong. There were a few times when it almost felt like I could remember: I was hard, hadnt cum in weeks, and all I could think about was how wonderful it would be to finally fulfill my fantasy. I guess I kidded myself into thinking I was going to wake up afterwards and be happy that I had finally done it, like I was finally free of something. But it sure didnt feel that way when I woke up. I was in the bed at the clinic and felt like I had to pee really badly. When I grabbed my penis to keep from peeing, there was nothing there except gauze and a plastic tube. It felt like I was falling down a dark, bottomless hole. I just started screaming and begging them to put it back. I can remember that exactly. Dr. Emerson put his arms around me and held me for a long time. I didnt even realize I was crying until Dr. Solano came in to check my bandages one more time. The handsome Cuban was all business as he looked things over and signed the discharge papers. He even complemented the work of the doctors at the clinic. As he and Robs Dad were talking outside the door, I pulled up my gown and examined my crotch. This was really the first time I had had the nerve to look closely since the bleeding had stopped and the healing started. Blond stubble was growing back in where my pubes had been shorn off before the operation. From the way things looked, once they grew back in completely, you wouldnt even be able to see the Y shaped scar I was left with. The scar was still proud but pink now, the tiny stitches just accents of dark brown. The last time I had the stomach to look, the scar was bright red and oozing a clear fluid. I guessed the infection I had picked up from not changing the bandages often enough had been finished off by the antibiotics. The upper part of my sack where they had to cut away the loose skin of my penis and reattach my pubic scalp was still a little bruised, but it was a lot less painful than it had been. Physically, things were going very well, except for the constant itching around my new pee hole behind my balls. The doctors had assured me that would pass with another few days. They were impressed that I was already able to control my bladder muscles enough to pee voluntarily and that didnt need a catheter, but I was determined to get back to normal as soon as I could. Normal? What the fuck. I was never going to be normal again. Lets just say I was determined to get back to being as normal as I could be under the circumstances. Well, Stephen, it will take a few minutes for the nurses to scare up a wheelchair, but other than that, youre ready to go home. Dr. Emerson startled me, and I yanked my gown down. Are you ready to get dressed? I ran over to the mall last night and bought you a few things to wear boxer shorts, some baggy elastic waist shorts and some t-shirts. I hope thats alright. As we discussed, youre probably not ready to go back to your apartment quite yet. You did that for me? Wow, Doc, nobodys ever been this nice to me before. I dont know what to say. Thanks! I really was touched. At first I thought this guy was just looking after me on Robs account, but once I got to know him a little bit, I realized he was the real deal. Dr. Emerson was like the father I always wished I had. He was so gentle as he helped me off with my gown and into the new clothes. It kind of surprised me that he had picked out some cool stuff even though he was a nudist and ancient I mean this guy had to be at least forty. I couldnt resist giving him a big hug when we were done. Once he left to go pull the car around to the front entrance of the hospital, it took about twenty minutes for the nurse to arrive with the wheelchair. After that, it didnt take long at all and we were motoring along I-75 toward Gastern Island. How are you holding up over there, Stephen? Im hanging in there, Doc. A little nervous, I guess. Thats understandable. By the way, now that were done with the hospital, why dont you call me Robert? That kind of threw me a little. At first I thought he was saying Rob, and when I thought of that name, all sorts of emotions went through me. Ok, Doc er Robert. Thanks. No problem. So what exactly is making your nervous about our trip? I guess part of it is going back to where all this happened to me, but I guess even more Im really scared of seeing Rob. I mean, Im not scared of Rob I think I love him but Im scared of how seeing him and being with him will make me feel. If its any consolation, Id imagine hes feeling the same way. Lissa and Brendan left this morning, so hes had all day to sit there and worry about it. The man grinned. We had talked about it twice yesterday, about Rob and how to deal with feelings that might arise because I want to be close to him. It must have been so cool to grow up with parents who understand about how it is to be a teenage boy. Im just going to be honest and say how I feel. I was saying it half to remind myself and half to steel my nerve. Thats right. Dont let him push you into anything you arent ready for, but also remember this is something hes coming to terms with, too. So dont push him into anything either. Both of you are going to need to be open to each others feelings and respect boundaries. If my guess it right, though, Robs going to be walking on eggshells for a week. He grinned again. Doc er I mean, Robert. How do you and your wife feel about what happened with Brendan? I mean, you know how I feel about it. Well, I cant say either of us was thrilled with the idea of our son wanting his penis and testicles removed, but we werent completely unprepared either. Lissa and I had a patient a year ago who was also fixated on the removal of his penis its not nearly as uncommon as some people think. In any event, dealing with his case, and others like it in the past have given us a little perspective. I meant will you let him do it? Well, heres the thing: if Brendan or any other boy or man is really determined, theres nothing anyone can do to stop it. Hell do it with a knife himself or hire an amateur cutter to have it done without our permission. So our role is to talk to him about it and make sure he knows what hes getting himself into. Then if hes still determined, we have no choice but to make sure he has good medical care and lots of support before and after the procedure. Wow. He shrugged as if what he had just said wasnt a revelation. If I had parents like you, I might not have ended up like I did. Sometimes parents just dont know how to deal with their children because they have too many emotional issues themselves to make room for those of another person. While Lissa and I have plenty of issues, we always make our children our first priority. I looked out the window at the pasture land of central Florida. Maybe it was just the pretty green fields with the cute black and white cows dotting the countryside, but I was starting to feel hopeful for the first time since I woke up in the recovery room. I was going to see Rob in a few hours, and we would both have the support of a family, a real family. Somehow the itching between my legs didnt bother me so much any more. ********** I didnt think we would ever get there. Mom always drives like an old lady, but at least I was in the back seat so I could sink down low in the seat and stroke myself a little every now and then. I really didnt know what was more exciting, getting to finally ride on Space Mountain or having my cock and nuts off. When we first started driving, I had asked Mom how she and Dad felt about me going to the clinic. Were they really going to let me do it, or was I just going to find out when we got back home than I wasnt allowed until I was eighteen? At first she told me they were just disappointed that I hadnt come to them first. That made me feel a little ashamed. When she told me they would let me make up my own mind, I was so happy I started singing and kept on singing for at least an hour. Finally, after what seemed like about two days of driving, we arrived at the hotel. It was this gigantic red building with two fish or dolphin looking things on top of it the funniest looking thing I had ever seen! Anyway, we got there in the middle of the afternoon, and Mom said it was way too late to try to get a start on the theme parks. Wed get an early start the next day, but she pointed out that there was a ton of stuff to do at the hotel. In fact, there was a whole part of the hotel complex where only kids could get in. Only people under eighteen were allowed, and once you checked in you couldnt leave until your parents picked you up. Mom said they had it so kids could be on their own without parents worrying about them. It took us about fifteen minutes to get to our rooms, drop off our bags, and find the Cabana Zone, the kids only area. It was so cool! There were four swimming pools, restaurants, a rave club, video game arcades, and even a go-cart track! I kissed my Mom goodbye and was off and running so fast! I was so excited it didnt even bother me that I had to wear clothes. I just ran from one thing to the next trying to figure out what I wanted to do. After a few minutes of scouting around, I decided to go for swim in one of the pools. The pass I had got me into the teen pool, even though I was only twelve, but I doubt anybody even noticed because Im big for my age. I look thirteen or fourteen, easy. Wow, you wouldnt believe what I found when I got in there. It turns out the whole pool was reserved for a group of gay teenagers who were staying at the hotel with a PFLAG convention. In fact, the guy who was manning the entrance even said I couldnt go in unless I was gay! So there they were, dozens of boys and girls swimming, lounging in the spas, getting served fancy non-alcoholic drinks, and some of them were even kissing or holding hands. It was the coolest thing I had even seen. I waded in and almost right away found a group of boys just a little older than me. They were hanging out in a shallow area of the pool that had barstools you could sit on in the water. About every two minutes an artificial wave would wash over them, just like at the beach. It didnt take any time to introduce myself, and before I knew it two of them were flirting with me. Two guys flirting with me! I immediately had the hots for this one kid named Sean. He was the sexiest thing I had ever seen: about five-six, with a really dark tan, and black hair. He was fourteen but already had pit hair and a treasure trail rising above his silver Speedo. Every time the wave would hit, the water pulled down on his Speedo a little, revealing a hint of the thick hair underneath. After about five minutes of talking, he tackled me, pulling me away from the group and over to the side of the pool. Before I knew it, he kissed me and asked if I liked it. When I said I did, he told me he had a boner and asked if I would help him take care of it. He said if I would, he would help take care of mine. Then I noticed he had his hand on the front of my trunks. We quick ran over to the changing cabana and locked ourselves into one of the rooms. He immediately pulled down his swimsuit, and my mouth must have fallen open because he laughed and asked me if I was that hungry for it. His cock was even bigger than Dads! It was at least eight inches long, surrounded by a thick mat of curly black hair, and hanging below it was a sack the size of a hamburger. I sank to my knees and just stared at his package. It was gorgeous, but what I liked best were his big balls. As I took them in my hand he just grinned as his cock slapped up against his tight belly. It was almost like his cock was getting out of the way so I could give those balls some attention. I started sucking them like a hungry animal. I didnt care that they tasted like chlorine water from the pool they were warm and loose, and every time I sucked, he moaned. By the time I took his cock in my mouth, it only took him about ten seconds to cum. Then he was on the ground with me, pulling my trunks off and sucking my balls. When he started to suck my cock, I stopped him and put him back to work on my hairless orbs. As I watched him, I stroked my cock until about a minute later my chest was covered with cum. As he crawled up on top of me and started snuggling and dry humping, I made a decision. The hair on Seans body was so sexy, and he wouldnt have it without his balls. Why was I so worried about getting hair on my body? Just cause I had hair like Sean didnt mean I would get hair on my back like some old guy. Plus, having your balls sucked felt so good! I was really going to have to rethink my plan about having my balls taken off, but first it was time for round two with Sean. ********** I had been sitting on the couch in the living room for over an hour. There wasnt a TV, and the only radio was pretty crappy, so I was playing solitaire. Id already ridden my bike down to the grocery store and bought some stuff for sandwiches, and the house was all ready for Stephen. Now it was all I could do not to crawl out of my skin while I sat there waiting to hear the sound of a car driving up and the doors thunking closed. When I actually heard the car arrive, all those butterflies returned and I could feel my entire body flush. I ran to and through the door, and there he was sitting in the front seat of my Dads rental. He looked pale, but when he saw me standing there his face split open into the most beautiful smile. My Dad was walking around the car to help him get out, but I stopped at the grill. I didnt want to crowd Stephen or make him feel uncomfortable. In fact, while I was at the store, I had bought an athletic supporter with a hard cup so that even my penis would give Stephen some space. Once he was out of the car, he took his first tentative steps towards me, and I held out my hand to shake his like we had that first day on the beach. Instead, he ignored my hand and stumbled into me, hugging me. I could tell he was trying to hug me tight, but he was weak from all he had been through. Oh, Rob, Im so sorry I got you so upset because of my letter. Im not, Stephen. If I hadnt gotten that letter, you wouldnt be here right now. I couldnt resist kissing him, but at least I managed to keep it just a peck on the lips. Putting my arm around his back and under his arms, we slowly walked in the house, and he asked immediately for the bathroom. I was ready to help him in there, but Dad intervened and led Stephen down the hall. I could hear them talking softly behind the closed door, and I realized that I had almost screwed up. I was supposed to be giving Stephen some space, remember? Thinking myself stupid, I set to making some sandwiches and pouring up three glasses of iced tea I had made an hour before. It was so cold that by the time they were finished in the bathroom the glasses were sweating beads of water like fresh peas. Once we got Stephen in his chair, Dad downed his tea in one gulp. Well, boys, I really should give you two a chance to catch up. Im going for a little walk and wont be back for an hour or so. Thank you so much, Doc er Robert. I really appreciate everything. Its quite alright, Stephen. I was happy to do every bit of it. You boys be good, and both of your remember what Ive told you. Rob, if you need anything, run up the windsock and Ill come back. Will do, Dad. I stood at the door and watched him walk over the boardwalk. When I turned around to see Stephen actually sitting at our dinning table, I suddenly realized I didnt know what to say. He was looking down at his ham and cheese sandwich, looking lost for words himself. Then I decided that after all he had been through, he shouldnt have to deal with an awkward silence from me. I sat in the chair beside him and took his hand in mine. Stephen, whatever happens, I love you. He slumped into my arms, crying softly, and I stroked his back. Rob, I love you, too, more than anything in this world. The truth is, though, that you deserve someone better than me, someone whos whole emotionally and physically. I cant ever be that again. I dont know if I ever was. Dont talk like that. How ever you are, you are exactly what I want. Youve been through so much, and I want to help you be whole again not for me, but because I love you and want you to be happy. If youre not happy, then I cant be happy. Why? Why would someone like you want to be with someone like me? How could you love me now? I pulled his face up to mine and looked him right in his blue, teary eyes. I didnt know if this would be too much too soon, but I had to say it. Stephen, when you and I were together under the lifeguard tower we shared something that transcended sex. We were one body, one soul, one person. That didnt have anything to do with our genitalia then, and it doesnt now. Then I took the plunge. Stephen, when I close my eyes and think about it real hard, I can still feel you inside me. I can feel you inside me whenever I want to. I can feel it because you are still inside me and will be forever. I leaned forward and kissed him, but this time it wasnt just a peck. We lost ourselves in each others mouths, if only for a few minutes. When we stopped, he wasnt crying. Rob, its hard. I know, baby, I said as I scooted my chair closer and held him to me. No, my penis is hard. I can feel it like its still there. He looked so sad, like there was only one thing in the world he wanted to do and it was the one thing he would never do again. I closed my eyes and sighed. I know its hard, Stephen. I concentrated on my memory of that night lying in the sand. I can feel it inside me. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, smiling. He looked content, if tired. I smiled back. After a long moment, a silence that wasnt uncomfortable at all, we began to eat our meal, and he told me all about what had happened. From when he left me the night we made love until my Dads rental pulled up in our driveway, he didnt leave out a single detail. Through it all, I held his hand. When he had finished, I realized it had gotten dark outside. We hadnt noticed because the lights we on from all my cleaning that afternoon. I ran outside to send up the windsock so my Dad could come home, but I found him sitting in the sand smoking a cigar about ten yards from our front door. He gave me a knowing smile and led me back inside. As I closed and locked the door for the night, Stephen started to stand, stumbled and fell back into his chair with a yelp. Dad and I both were there in an instant. I need to go to the bathroom again. My Dad took his arm and began to help him up, so I took a step back to get out of the way. No, Rob, I want you to take me. He smiled at me with that beautiful mouth. Are you boys sure? My Dad looked a little worried for the first time since he and Stephen had arrived. Im sure, Doc er Robert. That is, Im sure if Rob doesnt mind. Im sure, Dad. As I put my arm around Stephen to support him, my heart pounded in my chest. The butterflies were back, but I didnt feel woozy one bit. As I led him down the hallway and into the bathroom, I heard my Dad call out, Holler if you boys need me. I flipped on the light switch and closed the door behind us. We were going to do this together, just to two of us, but I realized I hadnt the faintest clue of what it was we were going to do. Seeming to understand my confusion, Stephen started. If youd help me pull down my pants first, that would be great. Take hold of the vanity. As he did, I knelt before him. My hands were shaking just a little as I looped my fingers around the waistband of his short and pulled them away from his stomach. I pulled them down slowly, worried that I might hit his wounds if I moved too fast. My eyes followed the fabric of his shorts until I got them down around his ankles. After he stepped out of his shorts, I did the same with his boxers, my eyes following the underwear as they came down. Its alright to look, if you want to. I want to, but I didnt know if you wanted me to. I felt his hand on my chin, and I looked up. His scrotum was bruised and slightly swollen, and his pubic hair was all gone except for a little stubble that was starting to grow back in. Where his penis had been the scar was raised and pink, with many stitches. I looked up into Stephens eyes, and tears were leaking silently from his eyes. I stood up and pulled him to me. He was limp in my arms, but I slowly massaged his back as I rocked him. I am disgusting. You are beautiful. Once your hair grows back, you wont even see the scar. He was still crying. Stephen, do you know what I wanted to do when I saw it? Run? No, I wanted to kiss it. I knew I shouldnt because you might get infected, but I wanted to kiss it so badly. You did? You still want to kiss me down there, even like it is now? His eyes were wide, his lips trembling. More than anything in this world. We have to clean it anyway, you know, after I finish going to the bathroom. He was almost smiling again. I knelt again, but this time closer. I started my kissing the indentation of his abdominal muscles and followed them down into the briar patch of his stubble, kissing the whole way. Now his hands were on my shoulders instead of the vanity. Next, I gently kissed his balls, and he moaned from pleasure or pain, or both, but he didnt stop me. Finally, I very gingerly kissed the point where his three scars met. I can feel it in your mouth. His eyes were now closed and his fingers were running through my hair. I kissed it again, and his fingers locked in my hair as his muscles relaxed. Urine poured down his legs and onto our clothes and the bathmat. Im so sorry, Stephen. I didnt mean to make you do that. His voice was barely a whisper. Rob, I came. I looked up and he was beaming. I came, but I couldnt keep from peeing when I did. I really could feel it in your mouth when I concentrated on it. I stood up so fast I almost slipped on the wet tile. I took him in my arms and kissed him hard and deep this time, and for so long that we were both wobbling when we finished. My cock was a torment in my cup, but I didnt care. He came! He eased himself down onto the toilet, and as he finished his functions, I cleaned up the mess, stripping off my own clothes to add them to the load that needed to be washed. As I stepped out of my shorts, he noticed I was wearing a jockstrap and cup. When I saw his expression, I explained. Stephen, please dont get the wrong idea. I just didnt know how it would make you feel to see or feel my erection. I want to see it, just like you wanted to see my scar. Please let me. I pushed down the jock and cup, my cock snapping to full attention as I did. It was dripping a silky white ribbon of precum from the tip. Stephen was licking his lips, but I leaned down and stroked his head. Not yet, not until youre stronger, not until youre ready. Not until I was ready for my last night. He nodded. I helped him up and very slowly into the shower. I cracked the door and told Dad that wed had a little accident and that we needed to take a shower. Once he said it was alright as long as we didnt immerse the wound, I turned on the water. As we waited for the water to get warm, I lathered a bath cloth with my Moms bath scrub and began to soap off his body. Starting with his shoulders and arms, we moved down his body working the suds into every inch of his tanned skin. While I worked on his back and butt, Stephen leaned against me with his arms around my back. I could feel the stubble of his bush against my cock, and it took all the strength I had not to grind against him. I only left his face for him to wash and his wound to wash with soft gauze and antibacterial gel. When I finished with the gel, he took the cloth. Now let me. He was smiling so serenely that I even let go of him as he began to scrub my arms and chest. When he worked his way to my crotch, he used his hand to wash me, and I had to clinch down hard not to cum. Then I turned around and he washed my back. By the time we finished, our small water heater had almost been exhausted, but we still had just enough warm water to rinse ourselves. With the knobs turned off, we stood there, shivering in each others arms while I toweled us off. Stephen slowly eased his way out of the tub with me hanging on for the whole time. I opened the door, and we made our way out into the hallway to find my Dad standing there holding two pairs of boxers and wearing a shit eating grin. Its getting late, boys. Why dont you two head for bed its been a long day for all of us. Ive already taken the liberty of pushing your beds together. I hope that wasnt out of line. He showed us to the bedroom where he had made up the bed with king sized sheets from his own bed. I didnt know what to say did my Dad know everything? Thats perfect, Robert. Thank you. No, thank you, Stephen. Ive always wanted three sons. With a hug for each of us, an especially long one for me, Dad was out the door which he closed behind him. Rob, will you help me put these on? He held up the boxers my Dad had given him. Of course, hot stuff. I grinned and slipped them over his head. He laughed for what I was sure was the first time since we had played Frisbee together what seemed like so long ago. Pulling them off his head, I helped him into them properly, and pulled on my own pair. With my help Stephen eased himself into the bed. Flipping off the lights, I slipped in beside him. At first, I snuggled my arms around him, but soon his breathing took on a slow rhythm. Since sleep was still elusive for me and I thought he had fallen asleep, I turned over so I could look out the window up at the full moon over the sea. Before long, I felt Stephen stir and turn on his side. As he wrapped his arms around me and I felt his breath on my neck, I closed my eyes. Smiling inside and out, I could feel his cock inside me as I drifted off into pleasant dreams. ********** Sean fell asleep for a few minutes every time he came, but before I knew it he was awake again, hard as a rock, and raring to go. As soon as Mom had gone to bed, I called him and invited him to come up to my room. Each of us must have shot six loads since then, but the last one was the best. I guess it took Sean a while to get up the nerve to ask me to let him fuck me, but after seeing how much Rob enjoyed it on the beach that night I was eager to try it. The only thing I didnt count on was that Seans cock was really big. Getting it in hurt more than I thought it would, but once he was on top of me and humping, I loved it. We both came within a couple of minutes. Now I was lying there wishing hed wake up so we could do it again. Luckily, I didnt have to wait long. With a yawn, he flipped me over on my stomach and announced this time he was going to do it from behind. His cock pumping in and out in fast hard strokes, I started thinking again about my decision to rethink things. I knew Sean wasnt the boy for me he was just some kid to get off with. I also knew, though, that I wanted to be like him. I loved the way his hair felt on my body, and I really loved the way it looked and smelled. He was just such a little stud. I also got to thinking about his tight stomach and waist and his broad shoulders. At school last year, they taught us that that form was a secondary sexual characteristic of boys that came from testosterone. I didnt want to lose that either. His pumping felt so good, but I closed my eyes and started thinking about what I would look like if I had Seans body, his dark body hair, a nice pair of loose balls, and no cock. As I fixed that picture in my head, Sean mumbled that he was going to cum. He started to shoot and yelped in pleasure, but I called out, Im just going to cut off my cock! I dont think I had ever seen somebody move so fast. He grabbed his clothes and ran out the door, still naked and sweaty from fucking me. He looked so scared, I thought for a second he was going to piss on himself. All I could do was laugh. I got off the bed and walked to the balcony. Opening the door, I walked out into the moonlight: Yes, when we get home, Im going to have a penectomy. My cock was still hard, so I started stroking it fast. It didnt take too long before I was humping my hand through the railing. When I shot, very little cum came out, but what little bit did, flew off the side of the building. I hoped as it fell it hit Sean right on the top of his silly head. Laughing, I went back into my room. ********** Id left Brendan for the night a little early because I knew he was itching to call his new little friend up for some fun, but I just couldnt stand sitting here in my room alone for another minute. I had to know what was happening back at the beach house. So I picked up the phone and dialed Roberts cell. It rang three times and he picked up. Thank goodness he was still awake! Hello? Robert, I just wanted to call to see how the boys were doing. They are wonderful, Lissa. Its going much better than I hoped. What happened? Well, it was a little bit awkward when we first got home, but I decided that might have been because the boys were being cautious around me. You know all those lectures Id given them both about not taking things too fast. I started to feel like I had over done it. So I took a little walk to give them some time alone. I gave them a way to alert me if they needed me, but they never used it. Three hours later, and well after dark, Rob came looking for me. You should have seen the look on his face. Did you find out what they talked about? No, but right after I go back to the house, Stephen asked Rob to help him go to the bathroom. They werent in there five minutes before I heard moaning, then they decided to take a shower together. Right before I turned in myself, I peeked in their room and they were cuddled up together like a married couple. Youre kidding me. How is it possible that theyve adjusted so quickly? Love, Lissa, love. I had a hunch they needed each other to heal emotionally, and luckily I turned out to be right. How is Brendan doing? Speaking of love, he has a new little boyfriend. I dont think its anything serious, but they are so cute together. I turned in early myself to give them a chance to explore a little. Hang on; someones knocking on the door. Who could it be at this hour? I looked through the peep hole, and it was Brendan, naked as a jay bird. I opened the door and pulled him into my room. What are you thinking walking around in public with no clothes on? We arent at home! I was just walking two doors down the hall, Mom. Anyway, I came to tell you something important. Whats that? It better be good. I want you to make an appointment with the clinic for as soon as we go home. Ive decided that I want a penectomy, but I want to keep my balls. I picked up the phone again. Robert, did you hear that? Yes, Lissa. Tell him I will make the appointment. Brendan, are you sure, completely sure? I looked into his eyes, searching for some sign of doubt. Im sure, Mom, its what I really want. Its what my body is telling me to do. Make the appointment, Robert. Hes sure. When do you think Stephen and Rob will be ready for us to come home? I think they are ready now, Lissa. Now that they have each other again, I dont think anything could faze them. Maybe you should talk to Rob in the morning, first? You have a point there. Ill speak with him first thing. If Rob and Stephen are ready, Ill schedule the clinics next available appointment. Either way, Ill let you know as soon as I find something out. Alright, Robert. Call me in the morning. Goodnight, my love, and please dont worry. As we hung up, I thought to myself, How can I not worry? Im a mother, and my son wants to remove his penis! ********** After that call from Lissa and Brendan, I had a hard time sleeping. Since I hadnt slept well, I stayed in bed much later than usual. When I decided to go ahead and get up around 8:30, I was surprised to find Rob sitting at the table with a glass of orange juice. What has you up so early? Stephen needed help to the bathroom a few minutes ago, and I didnt feel like going back to sleep. You know me; Ive always been an early riser. Yeah, right. How is Stephen? Hes doing great, Dad, just great. I am so happy hes here, but I have to admit I have an ulterior motive for being up thing early, and it involves Stephen. I wanted to talk to you about something before he was up and about. Uh-oh, whats up? Dad, you might want to sit down. That doesnt sound good. Rob took in a deep breath and exhaled deliberately. Dad, I want you to make me an appointment at the clinic. I want no, I need a penectomy. This isnt for Stephen, this is for me. Ive thought it through, considered all the consequences, and decided this is what I have to do. Did Stephen coming home bring this on? No, I decided before you two arrived. I think Ive known what I had to do for even longer but couldnt admit it to myself. I sighed. You are sure, Rob? I am. I flicked open my cell phone and dialed the number I had been given for any emergencies that might arise while Stephen was recovering. ********** My heart raced as Dad dialed the number. Was he calling Mom? Finally, the other side picked up. Good morning, sorry to be calling so early. I hope I didnt wake you. No, theres no emergency, but do you happen to have your appointment book handy? Its just as I suspected. Yes, Monday is fine for the pre-op consult. I was so giddy I could hardly contain myself. Yes, your reputation is excellent. I would like you to do all of the work. Will it really be that quick? Ok, then. Wednesday it is then. Thank you very much for scheduling us so quickly. As my Dad hung up the phone, I was glad I was sitting down, too. Alright, Rob. Youll have to go in on Monday for a few tests to make sure youre ready for the surgery. Then the surgery itself is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Dr. Gonzalez will perform it, the same doctor who did Stephens procedure. Thank you, Dad. One last question for you: since all the other doctors are going to be on vacation next week, do you want your procedure done before or after your brothers? |