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Diary of a Penectomy (excerpt)
May 1, 2000 The decision is made. This piece of flesh hanging between my legs must go. I don’t know how to do it yet. It will be removed. May 3, 2000 I bought a copy of Gray’s Anatomy. It is an interesting read. This strengthens my resolve. I will have this done. I will do it myself. I found a surgical supply this morning while driving to work. I think I’ll stop there tomorrow and get some supplies. May 4, 2000 I found the eunuch archive on the net today. All the stories there excite me and give me ideas. I look down at my erection and curse it. This afternoon I bought a catheter and a scalpel. Now all I need is an elastrator. I think there is a veterinary supply outside of town. I’ll check there. May 7, 2000 I practiced inserting the catheter last night. It hurt like hell. It was worth it. Each shard of pain I felt made me want to go on. I see this as a first step. May 20, 2000 I bought an elastrator today. I tried it out. The pain was manageable, but now I know why I need a catheter. I had the ring on for two hours and I had to take it off to pee. I was disappointed when I cut off the ring. My cock has been numb ever since. I close my eyes and imagine it gone. The thought disappoints as I look down to see my ugly erection. June 1, 2000 8:00 am I started my vacation from work today. Today is the day. Fear of the elastrator ring slipping and bleeding to death scares me. I’ve decided to use two rings and only cut off a piece at a time. I can’t wait. 11:00 am The catheter is in and a slow stream of urine fills the bag I taped to my leg. I put the first ring on at the base of my cock and the second half way. It hurts a little. The pain is exhilarating. I wait patiently for my cock to die. 2:00 pm I feel nothing in my cock. I think its dead. I feel an erection behind the ring at the base of my cock. I’m glad I have it on. I think the pressure would make it slip off. 2:15 pm I took my scalpel and cut through my flesh above the second ring. I slipped the dead meat down the catheter tube. I cut off about half of my cock. I’m so excited. I feel a little lightheaded. I better eat something. 2:25 pm I removed the half of my cock from the catheter. I’m cooking a can of chili on the stove. I look at the piece of cock resting in my hand. I tossed it into the pot. 8:00 pm My cock chili was delicious. I’ve decided to remove the rest tonight for dinner. 9:00 pm I had a great spaghetti and cock dinner. The band at the top of my balls has stayed. There is no blood seeping. That is a relief. I stood in front of my full-length mirror and looked at my cockless body. I felt an erection behind the ring but it held fast and in place. May 21, 2000 I removed the catheter bag from my leg and cut the tubing six inches from the ring and put on a small plastic valve. I haven’t slept since I started. I’m afraid the ring will come off while I slept and I would bleed to death. I’m so sleepy. May 27, 2000 I returned to work today. The ring has stayed put. Crusty flesh circles the ring. I think that’s normal. I’ve had several erections throughout the day when working with my female coworkers. I like the fact that there is nothing I could do to settle the feeling. June 15, 2000 I woke up this morning and found the ring had come off in the night. I removed the catheter tube and sat down to pee. It burned as I went and I tried to control the flow. I think with a little practice, I’ll manage. It is time to put on the new panties I bought the other day
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