Miscommunications

Part One:

Maria is having an affair, I just know she is. The late hours, the working weekends, the long trips out of town on ‘business'. She has to be having an affair. And where does that leave me? Certainly not getting any of her lovely little muff, that's for damn sure.

My Maria is so very beautiful. Long legs, a well shaped body, beautiful breasts and a killer mouth. Oh she has the loveliest lips with which to kiss with. Her flower is one of the most petite and delicate I've ever see with tiny little petals and a beautiful nub. How could she be having an affair? When we do make love it is with such passion, such force that I fear I may one day push my balls all the way into her womb.

But she must be having an affair. We haven't had sex in months. Oh, she says she has to work late. Cost cuts, cut backs, the company is having problems. It's one big useless lie after another. She's probably bonking her brains out on that man Bill, you know, the one with the really big bulge in his pants.

Isn't he married?

Nope, never seen a ring on HIS finger. He's probably way too busy fucking other people's wives to get married. Him and his great big dick stretching Maria's pussy further than I ever could. Me with my six incher. Oh, she says that six is average for a guy. That six is really very comfortable for her. That's bullshit that is. If that were true, they why would all these women be fawning over these erotic dancers with their great big dicks hanging out on display.

But didn't she say that she had a month off coming up after this last trip. Something about the company feeling grateful towards her for her hard work?

Oh right, she's probably got a month off so that she can bring Bill in here and flaunt him around me. Probably going to fulfill that fantasy she's always wanted- to cut your nuts off. That's what she's going to do! She's going to bring Bill in here and cut your balls off while you're sucking his big ol' cock off. Well, I won't let her. I'll take it off before she has the chance. That'll show her who's boss. Just ease the band over the balls and snap. Then it is just a quick little cut....

Part Two:

Maria arrived home late that night to find Bob unconscious on the sofa. A knife was in one hand and his severed balls in the other. He wasn't, luckily, dead, but this was very bad. On the edge of panic she called the police and an ambulance and began to do her best to hide the evidence of his own emasculation. She put his testes in some tupperware in the fridge and removed the knife. She then methodically whipped down any surface that might have fingerprints.

She had just finished when she heard a pounding on the door. She opened it to find EMS and the police. Rain dripped down slowly off the roof. The EMT's worked busily to remove Bob from the sofa without hurting him.

Maria, doing her best borderline hysteria started talking to the police. "Officer, I had just come home to find him like that. I don't know who could have done this to him. He's such a sweet person, so kind, generous."

"Please, calm down madam," said officer Gomez. "How often is your husband alone in the house?"

"Quite a lot, I have to work such horrid hours lately that I haven't been home that often. But there isn't much crime here, and who would simply assault someone for their balls?"

"There are some sickos out there, ma'am. Tell me, has your husband been having an affair that you either know of or suspect?"

"Not that I'd heard, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised. I'm away so often that he must be very lonely here at home. I know that castration play was one of his favorite fantasies back when we could spend a lot of time together, but I never thought he might want to take it to the fullest." She began to pout. "I know for certain that I never wanted to go that far. I wanted children once things started calming down at the office. I had a whole month to do this in too." Maria began to cry ever so slightly. She'd long ago found out that people, especially men, reacted very well to her when she appeared to on the verge of tears.

"It's OK ma'am. I can't promise anything, but we'll do our best. There just doesn't seem to be much left here to find."

"I know, officer, but after he's better, can't Bob tell you what happened?"

"Maybe, maybe not, we'll have to see."

Maria was at Bob's side when he woke up. In a very quiet soft voice she told him to pretend he couldn't remember what happened. If he did, she would make his life pleasant, if not, she would remove what was left of his dick without benefit of either painkillers of a band.

And so, Bob's ‘castrator' was never found. Bob stayed in the hospital for nearly two weeks before being released. Somewhere between the medical necessity and the need to make certain of his mental stability, this was deemed a necessity. Not once in that time did he spill that he had done this to himself.

When Bob returned home (he'd had to take a taxi, Maria was still angry enough not to want to pick him up), it was to find Maria in the living room beautifully dressed in one of her clingy red dresses. For a fleeting moment, Bob thought that she had forgiven him and that they would be making love. This lasted but a moment. The look on her face was of sheer anger.

"You utter son-of-a-bitch! Why the hell did you do it?!" He had never really heard her voice raised the way it was now.

"I-I-I t-th-thought you wanted it. Th-at you were having an affair." Now that he said it aloud, he could see that none of it rang true. "That you were going to invite Bill over to take my place."

Maria laughed loudly as she walked over to him. Roughly she yanked his sleeve up and ripped off the patch. "Bill and his boyfriend are planning on committing to each other next week. As for having an affair? Gods, I though you knew me better than that. I have been slaving away making sure that the company managed to make it through these rough times, and I did it successfully. Yes, I know I neglected you for a while, but I was going to make it all up to you this entire month. Maybe even get pregnant finally. And now you," she said the word with so much anger it was nearly red tinged, "have managed to ruin THAT."

"Are-are you going to divorce me?"

"Oh no, I have other plans for you. When Amy gets here, we're going to move all the stuff I've left you into the other bedroom and you are going to tend house while Amy and I enjoy some quality time together. You see, I turned to Amy when you cut your nuts off, and things kind of went from there. Now, she's moving in, and you can sleep alone. Maybe, eventually, when you've earned it, we'll let you move back in with us. Maybe then, you can join in."

Meekly, Bob started to walk to his new room. "Oh, and one other thing. I'm not paying for any patches, hormones or anything like that. You'll just have to suffer."

In his room, Bob found women's clothing each with a little name tag. ‘Bobbie' it said on the tag. Slowly, he put on his panties, skirt and blouse and started on the house work.

Three years later, Maria and Amy finally forgave him and let him move into the master bedroom with them. Besides, they needed the room for their child.