THE TIES THAT BIND~Epilogue

“Where have all the flowers gone,
Long time passing.”
Pete Seegar

My Master and I had become two of the cornerstones of the Family along with the Dungeon Master who had his own special role. He and Chief had taken on about twenty slave trainees over the years we were on Mt. Washington and sold them for good profits. They became the only trainers to buy a slave from. If a Master bought a slave from them they knew they were going to own a quality product.

Many new Masters and slaves were introduced into the Family and the total number of members grew. The middle and late seventies were the golden era of the Family. Of all the get togethers the Family had I can only remember a couple of times that there was any anger or fist fights occurred. Mostly because someone had a little too much to drink and flew off the handle. Then, the next morning, the two involved would cry in each others arms and swear everlasting love! Everyone would roll their eyes toward heaven behind their backs.

I had gone back to work and the shop had really done well with Sam, Dad Jake, Chief and I being the main driving forces behind the work. I had bought more shares of stock until I had a little over Fifty Thousand Dollars worth.

I took over being Shop Foreman for a couple of years and then the other Man in the Office Administration retired and left an opening. Sam and Jake wanted me to move up but I didn’t want to. It was more money but it meant giving up working with my tools! I wasn’t ready.

I talked it over with my Family and both Masters supported any decision I wanted to make. I got the feeling my Master, whom I fell ten times more in love with, wanted me to do what was in my heart! He knew it wasn’t in my heart to give up working with my tools right then!

I think Sam understood when I didn’t want the job. I suggested they give it to my Brother, Chief. He didn’t want it either! He didn’t want to give up his tools. Then they asked if Dad Jake took the job and I took his so I could still work with my tools, would I consider it.

That would mean Chief would move up to Shop Foreman. Chief liked that idea and it was a better plan for me. So I took the job. When I worked in the Shop with my tools I let Chief be the Foreman.

I worked with my tools a lot more than Dad Jake had done but I was more efficient doing his Office job so I could do both. It just made for greater productivity and we prospered.

Master Earl and I had evolved into a steady life style with my second Master being involved a lot with us. I think that sometime the reason that Master Earl and I worked so well together was his ability to share. We never became stale with each other.

Big Jim was wise enough never to demand but satisfied when he and I could get together by ourselves. Master Earl had to attend Police functions and training that would require him to be gone for several days! I would always stay on the Mountain with the rest of my Family and have wonderful times with my second Master.

There were many times, mostly at Family functions that the three of us would stay together in one bed for the weekend. All in the name of saving space, doubling up, as it were! Do you think our Family bought that?? Not for a minute! Everyone loved that we were a three some but our bunking together was fair game! We got razzed continually! The three of us would join hands and bow like a Circus act with me in the middle!

Sometime, during the height of passion I would glance up to find the two of them clutched together in a more than Brotherly kiss as they unloaded into their slave for the third or fourth time! Neither would probably admit it but I think they were very attracted to each other and it mutually excited them to see each other fucking their slave.

Their affection went much further than Brothers. Many times I would catch them off to themselves talking seriously and laughing the laugh that only intimates laugh with each other. They admired each other and found themselves falling deeply in love. I welcomed it! It only made their love for me more focused!

Then occasionally, just occasionally, I would come into the room we were staying in and find them on the bed locked in an embrace. Didn’t bother them a bit. Just held out their arms for me to join them. Who in his right mind wouldn’t crawl up between two beautiful Men like them.

My Master trained me to care for him and serve him. I worked hard to be what he needed. He assured me over and over that I had become just that! I was never punished by him like Master Jeb had warned me! Maybe he had mellowed or maybe I just pleased him enough I didn’t need punishment.

Don’t get me wrong! My ass was worked over regularly! But for slave training, rite of passage, stimulation purposes only! Not for punishment!

My Master loved to use his whips and was damn good at it! There was hardly a day went by when I sat down on my creeper to crawl under one of those big trucks that a smile didn’t cross my face! It hurt so damn good! I’d think to myself, “Have to compliment my Old Man when I get home this evening! He was damn fine last night! Did his slave-boy right!!”

Then I’d giggle to myself. I’d remembered a time when the thought of going through what I do now with my Master would have sent me running in the opposite direction. Talk about limited vision! May sound strange to someone who’s never been there but I got to where I needed those sessions from my Master.

My overall attitude and moods would actually depend on whether he had worked my ass over really good one or two nights that week. If for some reason we got busy or he didn’t have time to bust my Butt, I got nervous, irritable, short with people and would sometime break into tears under a truck for no reason.

I would go home get his whip, put it in my mouth, crawl to him and sit there next to him until he noticed me. He’d laugh, wouldn’t say a word and take me to the Dungeon and I got what I needed.

Funnier yet! He would get a call from Chief or Sam!
“Earl! I’m worried about your boy!” Sam would say, “When was the last time you worked him over really good?” My Master would stop to think.

“If you have to think Earl, he’s due! Please take care of you slave Master Earl for the sake of those who work with him! We will all thank you!” Both would break up on the phone but then my Master would lovingly kick my ass down the Dungeon stairs, chain me up and take care of his slave!

Then they would all know from the silly smile I’d have on my face the next day that he had taken care of his slave’s needs and would all breathe a sigh of relief! I would go though the day with an erection and a song in my heart. Chief would laugh his ass off ‘cause I’d have a boner working under the truck! My Master gave the term “tough love” new dimensions! Hell, he invented the term!

He asked my opinion and input into our lives more and more and braced himself for my replies. If he ask, he knew he was gonna’ get my honest answer and it wasn’t always what he wanted to hear! He never stopped me but would hear me through. Then he would make a decision.

I never pouted nor got mad if he decided not to consider my opinion. Nor did I ever throw it in his face if his decision turned out bad. He was hard enough on himself that I would end up consoling him in my arms.

“When am I going to learn to trust my slave?” He would chastise himself. “Master Earl, please don’t say that! You trust me! It’s just you’re the Master and even Masters make mistakes. How many have I made that you’ve overlooked or forgiven me for!”

“Damn few slave! Damn few! And those weren’t big enough to require more than a good talking too! You never did it again! You’ve been a good slave and I’m damn proud of you!”

No one knew! I don’t think he even knew how much I had fallen in love with him since I had become his slave. Every day I fell more in love with him. Mistakes or not! He was my Master! My only reason for living.

I loved the Dungeon Master and never turned away from him but our love was different. Big Jim saw it happening! He knew and spoke to me of it sometimes. He was never jealous, he wanted me to know of all the Men in my life, he most of all, understood the depth of my love for my Master.

“Beau! You know I love you but the love you have for Earl is all consuming. You have become his slave in the deepest sense of the word! You are mine as well and you serve me with love , honor, and respect.

I never realized just how much you love Earl and I’ve seen it deepen and grow over the years until it’s more than Master and slave. You both have something most people would give anything to feel for each other. I know I would!”

I had read in the Tarot cards that day in Silverlake that one of Big Beryl’s children would need him desperately in seven years. That night, as he left, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and whispered in my ear, “You’re the child that will need me in seven years, aren’t you, Son?” I just held him! He didn’t need an answer. He knew!

One afternoon in October it was hot and muggy. It had rained off and on all day but it was still hot. It was about two O’clock and Sam walked out of the Office with a horrible look on his face.

“Yoshie just called from the Hospital! They just brought Earl into emergency! He was involved in a accident on the Freeway and his Bike was totaled. I don’t know how bad it is! Get Chief to take you over! We’ll close down the Shop and Jake and I’ll be right behind you. I’ll make a couple of phone calls to Family members.”

Chief and I didn’t bother to put our tools away. We jumped in his truck and was there in ten minutes. Yoshie met us and told us the worst. He had been in a terrible accident on the freeway. Some old woman in her eighties aiming her big Caddy down the freeway changed lanes and force Master Earl under an Eighteen Wheeler.

It ran over him and his Bike and he was hit again by the car following the Big Rig. There was a terrible pile up on the freeway and they couldn’t get paramedics through fast enough to get him to the Hospital in time to do much for him. He was dying. They had moved him to a private room to be as comfortable as possible! He was so damaged internally that there was no way they could have put him back together.

I was joined by my Family in less than two hours. There were over two hundred fifty ornery looking bikers in that Hospital. Or at least the Hospital staff thought they looked mean and ornery! Doctor Crane assured them that these people were not what they seemed. They were not there to rape, pillage, and burn! They were there because one of their own lay dying.

Beryl and Blaine were by my side within two hours. Josh and Will got there but he was beyond their help. There were just too many internal injuries.

I went to him and saw the love of my life laying there with tubes coming out of him bruised and mangled. My Master was awake and tried to smile for me. I knew the minute I walked into the room he was dying. I tried to be strong for him but my eyes wouldn’t cooperate. They had ideas of their own and kept a steady flow down my face.

What do you say to someone you love that you suddenly see dying in front of you? He knew he was dying! Yoshie hadn’t lied to him. I was paralyzed! All the things in my heart I wanted to say to him I couldn’t because I didn’t want him to think I thought he was dying.

He pulled me to him. “I’m not gonna’ make it Beau, my Darlin’ slave!” “Master! Don’t say that! Whether it’s true or not, I can’t hear it! I won’t hear it! You can’t die and leave me! A slave needs his Master and I don’t want to live without mine!” I broke into sobs on his chest.

“Shhuuuu....” He calmed me. He whispered to me that he wanted me to take off my clothes and climb in bed to hold him. Yoshie nodded to do it and told my Family to block the door! No one comes in but Doctor Dan or Doctor Crane.

They both were there eventually and didn’t say a word. Doctor Crane stood there with tears streaming down his face, frustrated, helpless to return the favors these Men had done for him over and over. Now one of their beloved Family members lay dying and he couldn’t do a damn thing. Doctor Dan consoled him.

I quickly took off my clothes and gently crawled in next to him. I held him in my arms and kissed him gently. He got the sweetest smile on his face and told me to hold him tightly that Wes had come with two other beautiful Men. They were there to take him.

He actually carried on a conversation with Wes and related to us things Wes was saying . Wes told me he understood why I lost faith in him. He didn’t plan it all that well and I got frightened.

Wes said not to worry about our Master he would serve him and take care of him until I got there. He was so glad to have his company and counsel again and not to fret, he could never take my place by our Master’s side. He would serve him until I got there! He had found a good Master himself and would serve the two for a while.

He’d show him around the place and introduce him to some good people. My Master said the Angel Michael, Wes’s Buddy, was there with Wes and another Family member that had passed away last year, Master Noel. Master Earl said he had but a little time left and he needed to tell me something.

My Master looked in my eyes for the last time and told me he would always love me but would never release me from my Bond. That I would just have to accept the fact that I was to serve him for eternity. I was his slave and I would never be happy being any thing else even after death. Nor would he ever be complete without his slave.

I told him I would gladly serve him forever without a doubt in my heart! He kissed me, told me Wes had been right, we belonged together and he had never loved any one more than me, and then he was gone!

My Master left with one hand in Wes’s and the other hand in Michael’s! I watched him go! He turned and smiled the sweetest smile, waved and turned back to walk away! They were gone!

I was devastated. A major part of my soul died with my wonderful, beautiful, violet eyed Master in that hospital bed! I kept shaking him to bring him back and screaming, ‘No! No! Oh God! Noooo!!! I’ve never asked you for much, God! Now I’m begging you!! Don’t take my Master! Please give him back to me! Take me instead! I’ll do anything, God, just give him back!!”

The most beautiful Man I had ever known in my life lay dead in my arms and I couldn’t let go. I lay holding him for almost an hour trying to warm his body with mine as I felt the embers of life’s warmth leave him, crying inconsolably, my head on his beautiful chest! I kept thinking, “At least take me with you, Master! Don’t leave me behind!”

Big Beryl had to physically pull me away from him. I curled into a fetal position on the floor in the hospital and went into shock! I just couldn’t accept the reality of my Master being dead! I didn’t want to awaken because I knew it would still be there to face and I couldn’t! I just wouldn’t!

Sam and Dr. Yoshie took me home with them! I stayed with them until the funeral. Yoshie kept me shot up most of the time to relieve the anxiety, the pain!

Worst fucking pain I ever suffered in my life! I could endure anything the most sadistic motherfucker Master ever thought he might dish out but I cried “Uncle” to God so many times that two weeks after his death ‘cause I didn’t want to go on living with that horrible, gut wrenching pain.

At least in S & M you know there eventually has to be an end to a Master’s administering pain! If nothing else he’ll get tired, bored or both! Not so with grief! No one, nothing could get through to me! I wouldn’t even let Will or Josh near me, nor anyone else but Yoshie and Sam!

The funeral was a blur. I was my Master’s only next of kin. He had legally adopted me for just such a reason. I was legally his Son! My name was changed to Andrew Beaureguard Shaw! He figured if I was his property, I should bear his name. I still wear his name today with pride!

He wanted to be Cremated and there was a huge funeral at Forest Lawn in Glendale. The entire Police force turned out and over four hundred Renegade, Outlaw, Gay, Master/slave, Bikers were in attendance. Everyone was perfectly well mannered.

The Police were bug eyed that my Master knew and was loved by such people. They had an instant new respect for a side of Officer Earl D. Shaw they never had before.

The LA Times had a full page spread on the diversity of people that attended this one Motor Officers Funeral. Dad Beryl and Blaine looking sad but scruffy! Bull and Charlie, both looking meaner than two Badgers in heat!

Bull had the prettiest little blonde haired blue eye boy on his shoulders with tears running down his little face! Biker Women, children of all ages, and hundreds of Harleys and other Bikes.

Several Patrol Officers knew he had a Bike and rode with a Biker group but never asked many questions. You can’t live in and around a group of Bikers and not be exposed to all the elements. But to be loved and respected by most all of them was another matter. My Master was! He was a good Man to all! If he thought he could help, he’d try!

I had my one suit cleaned and Will shined my shoes for me. I hadn’t seen that suit in six years. It didn’t fit real well because I had grown much bigger muscularly. I didn’t care! I’d just as soon stood naked by his casket and told them all I wasn’t his Son, I was his fucking slave and proud of it! Deal with that you Son’s of Bitches!

God gave me seven wonderful years with Master Earl! My fellow Man presented me with a Flag! Just what I needed to take his place! A fucking Flag! Flags and fucking Medals were the story of my life! Flags and Medals won’t warm your heart at night! Hell, they won’t even warm your damn feet!! I accepted it graciously for his sake!

The only thought that kept running through my mind was in seven years we had never had a cross word for each other nor went to bed angry! I was his total slave and would never consider being angry for any reason at my Master. Since he made all the decisions and planned our lives I was free to devote my time to his comfort and loving him.

What was I to do now! I knew the Dungeon Master was my other bonded Master but I couldn’t bring myself to stop thinking about my Master that lay in that ridiculous box in Full Uniform. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Big Jim at the funeral. I didn’t see anyone! I just went though the motions. Shook hand after hand! Said, “Thank you, to hundreds of people I didn’t know!

I cried with my Family members ‘till I didn’t have any more left! I hugged Big Jim but I couldn’t look at him. He was crushed! He had loved his Bonded Brother as much as I did and rightfully should been by his slave’s side! His grief was as great as mine! He didn’t push! He is the ‘biggest’ Man I’ve ever know in my life!

Someone, anyone, Big Jim even, should have kicked my ass up between my shoulder blades for my selfishness! I thought I was the only one in pain! No one could understand what I was going through. Not true! Many were in just as much pain as I was but knew how to let go.

After the funeral, I remained in a catatonic state of severe depression for two weeks. I was slowly losing my mind. I couldn’t eat! If I tried, I threw it up immediately! I couldn’t go to work! I couldn’t get out of bed! My legs would barely carry me to the bathroom. A couple of times I couldn’t and soiled my bed. I was on a nose dive from thirty thousand feet and couldn’t pull up! They would have never found the black box!

I once read a psychological paper describing Clinical Depression as “A loss of heart or a wasting of the soul.” That pretty well sums it up! The way I felt! I had lost my heart! I had given it totally to my Master as Master Jeb had told me I must do! My heart was in a tin of ashes the Funeral Home presented me several days later. Without my heart my soul was wasting away.

Poor Big Jim didn’t know what to do. It was only then that he realized just how much I truly loved my Master. I didn’t want to see anyone including Big Jim. He didn’t understand. He loved me! Why wasn’t I turning to him for comfort and support? Instead I was rejecting him.

I finally figured out one night by a camp fire near Barstow that he represented the other half of my love with my Master and my Masters greater love for him as well. He represented the better, giving, sharing part of my Noble Master and I couldn’t bring myself to think of being his slave at that time.

(He probably should have forced me to that barn near Big Beryl’s and used that Black Snake Whip on me until I got it all out of my system! Until I was ready to accept the fact that life goes on and I would now be his slave!! But he didn’t! He loved me too much to force a situation!) I wish now, for his sake, he had!

I couldn’t bring myself to be with him for almost two years after Master Earl died. I felt it would have been like I was running to Master number two to get past the hurt, grief and anger of number one! That I must not have really loved my Master that much to immediately be happy with Big Jim!

Anger? Yes! You go through ‘anger’ at the person you loved for leaving you! How could they? How could they do this if they truly loved me? He knew how much I loved and needed him! I never made a secret of it! How could he have left me and why the hell am I still here? Just leave me alone and let me die! Then I’ll be with him again!

Life doesn’t work that way! It’s not that simple! Sometimes we have to be burned by the fire to harden our souls! Not to become bitter nor disillusioned but like the Phoenix bird to arise from the ashes to become stronger and wiser. We become more capable of understanding that any love is a gift for only a brief period of time. It may sit it the palm of your hand forever but the minute you try to hold on to it, it will vanish!

We learn that to give love, to bank love in another individual is a wonderful thing but that account may be wiped out over night! Unless we’ve gone though the fire we can’t know how to jump start a bankrupt heart!

Sweet Baby James* said it best, “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain but I always thought that I’d see you one more time again!”

Live everyday with the ones you love like it could be the last you have to tell them how much you care! Don’t ever go to bed mad at the one you love! You may wake in the morning and they may not!

It almost killed Big Jim. He thought I blamed him for my Masters death. I didn’t! It was a matter of letting go and I didn’t know how! I was a salve without a Master! The most useless thing in the world. Unless it’s a Master that loses his slave to death and can’t find the heart to take another!

Master Earl left me everything! Among his papers was a living trust that named me beneficiary. There was a Quit Claim Deed to the house in Silverlake and I was signed on as Beneficiary to all his insurance. The monies paid were considerable, considering he had been killed while on duty!

He had almost three hundred thousand in savings. He had taken every paycheck I handed over to him and banked every nickle of it into an account in my name. We lived completely on his money from work and investments! I hadn’t even known about it! I just assumed he was using the money as he saw fit and never questioned him. There was close to three hundred seventy five thousand in that account!

Unbeknownst to me, when we first got together as Master and slave and Master Earl adopted me, Sam had taken a huge Double Indemnity Policy for each of us through the Company. It paid over half a million to me. The insurance and all holdings of Master Earls came to well over a Million. I didn’t have to work if I didn’t want to.

I let Master Jeb and Beryl handle most of the finances for me. I couldn’t have been bothered. About the same time the Shop Owners were suffering financial setbacks and Chief, Sam, and my Stock Options suddenly began to rise in value to where between the three of us we owned fifty three percent of the Corporation.

With a little more investment of around a hundred thousand it was ours. I put up the cash and we formed our own Corporation. Sam as president, Jake and Chief as Vice Presidents. I was, for a while to be a silent partner! I had to get away or I knew I was gonna’ join my Master in the grave.

Part II~Running From The Rain

“Suzanne the plans they made
put an end to you.”
James Taylor

Only two Men understood the depths of my despair. Master Jeb and Big Beryl. Master Jeb understood because he knew the depth of my commitment to my Master and Big Beryl had lost Little Jimmy all those years ago and went through the tortures of the damned. He’d been there and back!

Savior number three wasn’t about to sit idly by and watch his ‘Sweet Baby’ perish from terminal sorrow. Master Beryl came to Silverlake, yanked me up by the short hairs and took me to the desert. He threatened me with my life if I tried to venture back to Silverlake. I knew when to listen to that Old Man!! Dad Beryl, Father of my Clan, knew exactly what I needed!

He rode me out to that Barn ever other day for almost a month and I needed every trip! Every time he saw that cloud come over me and I began to fold up like a telescope he would snap his fingers, point to his Harley and we would be on the road to the Barn again!! If I said no, he would physically pick me up, dump my ass on the seat and dare me to get off! I didn’t!! I went to the fucking Barn!!!

Then after we got there, he had worked my ass over for an hour or more, I would be on the verge of passing out from the pain but would beg him through the tears for just ten more. Please!!!

He would let me down, I would scream and cry not to take me down, “Master Beryl! Sweet Master!! Please! Please don’t take me down! More! I need more, Master!! Pleeeease, Master Beryl!!”

I would cry and kiss his boots! I would bury my face in the dirt at his feet and beg with all my heart! He would sit on the ground, hold me, wipe the dirt from my face and cry with me!

He’d kiss away my tears, tell me that he loved me and together we would find the way! In some ways it helped him get over Earl’s death by reaching out to help me.

Think I’m sick?? Oh, yeah!! Admitted!! But that was some of the best damned therapy I ever had. That fucking Old Man, that wonderfully loving, giving, caring Old Man, knew my soul and what it needed! He was damn sure gonna’ see that I got it and he did!

He had ventured there that first weekend I spent under his roof! He knew that I released a lot of emotions from Nam that weekend and he could do the same with this grief! I had gone through similar agony letting go of the memories of Nam.

Grief is grief! No matter what causes it! You still have to grieve properly or you’ll never heal! He knew that he could get it out of me! He knew that by beating my ass with that whip until it was so raw I had to eat standing would force me to start grieving in a healthy manner.

He knew it would get me over the guilt of letting go and being left behind! It stuck in my mind that to let go would be betraying the deep love I had for my Master! Dad Beryl knew that I felt supremely guilty about not dying with him!

Sound weird?? Talk to an AIDS survivor that has had their love waste away in front of them and held them in their arms as they choked to death on their own fluids. Ask them if they felt guilty about being left behind?

When he had me strung up, the harder he whipped me the louder I would taunt him, “Is that all you’ve got Old Man!! You call your Sad Ass a Master!! You better take another Butch course, Dad!!”

“My little Sister could use a whip better than you!! See if you can put some muscle into it you Old Bastard!”
KEERWHACK!!! It would lift my fucking boots off the ground it would hit so hard!! I wouldn’t feel a thing!

“There !!! That one was just a little better! But not much you Old Fish Wife!! With six months practice you might be able to whip a slave half way decent!!!”“Blow that hot air out your ass, Old Man, and whip me!! Show me what you got!! You got a ready slave here that’s calling your bluff, you Old Phoney!! Don’t let him get away yelling those awful, disrespectful things to you Master!! Get his attention! Make him show you the respect you deserve, Master!! Make an example out of him!!”

I’d always cry in his arms later and tell him I didn’t mean a word of it then I’d laugh and tell him, “No! No! I meant every word of it!!” Then we’d both laugh! He would hug me and tell me he understood, he was in control and was only gonna’ give me what I needed.

I would cry some more, thank him and tell him how much I loved him for caring enough to do this for me. Not to stop!! We were making progress!! I was going to grieve properly or I was gonna’ die by the whip! Most times I didn’t care which!

Damn! That Old Man could use that Black Snake Whip!! Woah!! Double Doggies!! Put both the fear and love of God back into my Sweet Ass, I’ll tell ya’!! Sans panache! Just your “down home” “woodshed” ass shredding! Simple!! Effective!!

He laughed for years when he later told the story of taking me to that Barn! “As mild mannered as Beau always is, you wouldn’t believe some of the shit that came out of that Sweet Baby’s mouth to goad me into getting mad and really letting go on him!”

“I even tried one time, knowing I was still in control, to see what he would say and he still insisted I whipped him like a fucking school girl!! He yelled some of the most off the wall, Goddamned things, to me!”

“He yelled at me once why I didn’t buy a Habit and join a Nunnery until I could learn to use a Whip like a Man! I had to stop right then and there ‘cause I was doubled up with laughter! We were done for that day!! I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to take a decent swing with my whip! Only my Sweet Baby could come up with a fucking line like that!!”

He’d throw back his big handsome head and roar with laughter and feel relieved that he had managed to save his child! His Sweet Baby! He did!! To him goes the credit!!

We’re lucky to have one Savior in our lives, I had three!! Chief, Master Jeb and now my wonderful Dad Beryl!! I knew that evening I met him he was special but I never realized just HOW special he really was! A Man’s Man!! A Man of infinite charm, humor, good will and horse sense! A Man of mythic proportions! A simple Man!

The house in Silverlake was sold! All that money was dumped in my account. I did reward Master Jeb and Beryl handsomely for their efforts to see to my best interest. And they did! I basically owed both of them my life! No amount of money would have repaid them!

I gave Walker half a million cash for a venture he said would double my money! It didn’t! It tripled it! It made me a million over my initial investment. I let another Five Hundred Thousand ride with him! He ran that into another Million and a half. I hired Xander to keep records and books, to pay taxes and reinvest the interest. I made money, Walker made money and in less than two years after my Masters death I was one of the wealthiest young slaves on the West Coast.

Poor little rich slave boy! All that fucking money and it didn’t mean shit to me! I stored my Superglide at Sam and Doc. Yohsie’s and took my Master’s full dress Hog on my get away!

I was getting stronger and after the last time Big Beryl cut me down from the rafters of the old Barn and held me in his big arms he told me it was time for me to hit the road!

We both knew he had done all he could to jump start my heart! He had done an excellent job!! Radical therapy?? Bet your ass it was!! Did it work?? Hell yes, it worked!! I was starting to let go and not feel so Goddamned guilty!

An eighteen foot Black Snake Bull Whip can relieve one hell of a lot of guilt!! Snap your ass right back!! Make you sit up and pay attention to the message of life!!

“Get your ass back in the pool and tread water with the rest of the poor son’s of bitches!! You’re no better or no worse than the they are!! You don’t love, hate nor hurt any more or any less than any body else!!”

I agreed!! It was time for me to go! Where? Didn’t matter! Just go!
Besides, Beryl had a philosophy about life he shared with Snoopy: There’s no problem so big it can’t be run away from! He told me, he and Blaine would come get me when it was time for me to come home.

I couldn’t even go to the Mountain to say goodbye. Master Jeb, Sam, Dad Jake understood! Chief understood! Big Jim wanted too but he was too much in love with me and couldn’t understand why I was rejecting him.If I hadn’t been so fucking selfish I would have realized that the Big Man desperately needed me!

If it hadn’t been for Master Wolf, Jeb, Chief, Sam, Big Beryl and Blaine he would have gone off the deep end. I left an open account with Big Beryl with fifty thousand for Big Jim’s support and comfort. He was to give it to him as needed and not to tell him where it came from! Did he ever tell him? Yes, of course he did!! He was a wise Man and knew his Brother needed to hear that I’d done that for him!

I asked my loves, Big Beryl and Blaine, if they would have my other Master out to explain to him why I had to go away and tell him that if he still wanted a good slave when I got back, I would be proud and honored to call him my Master!

Something I had wanted to do from the first night I met him all those years ago. If he couldn’t wait then I would understand that he needed to move on! I wouldn’t love him any less!

I left from Beryl and Blaine’s place on a Saturday Morning in February of that year, with nothing but some travelers checks a bed roll and a small bag with some extra leathers. I sat out to find my broken heart and seek my Peace with God! (That two years is another book in itself! “Beau’s Journey?” or “Running From The Rain?”)*

A year and a half later found me bigger, more muscular from hard work, full beard and stach, long hair tied in a pony tail! I lived in my leathers! Worked, slept, bathed and rode in ‘em! Had many a young man suck me off and fall in love with the smell of Man and leather that had become one.

I’d stop anywhere I could lend a hand to someone in need! I was still the universal slave. I didn’t need pay, I needed to serve and not necessarily be rewarded. Many times I would come into a small town and help someone out of a jam and leave before they got a chance to thank me.

I helped a Man get his entire crop in on a small farm in Idaho. All his help had deserted him! Me and his two young boys maned the combines day and night for a week. Never drank so much coffee in my life! The last night (he was going to pay me the next day) I pushed the Harley out to the road and down the hill to start it to take off. Left him a note that just said Thanks, love you all, Beau!

I later read stories of a mysterious Biker that traveled throughout the west doing good things for People without asking thanks or pay. I wondered who he was?

I always kept myself clean and my leathers that way too. Always found some little Gay Man that wanted to play at being my slave for the weekend to clean and make love to my boots. The image of the big bad ass Outlaw Biker using his ass for a weekend left many a little Gay Man across twenty states jack off fantasies for years.

I occasionally called Beryl and Blaine to let ‘em know I was still alive and traveling! Approximately where I was, if I knew? I’d jokingly ask Dad Beryl it was time to come after me yet. He’d laugh and say, “Let me check! No! No! Not time yet! You stay in the oven a while longer! I’ll know when you’re done!” Then he’d roar with laughter and tell me he loved me! I loved him too! He was a treasure!

Once, I called back to the Mountain and got Big Jim on the line. I had hoped that Chief or Master Jeb would pick up the phone and I could have them tell him ‘Hi!’

I was silent, not knowing what to do! I couldn’t talk to him! I heard my beloved Master say quietly, “Beau?” He instinctively knew it was me! It rattled me so bad I hung up!

Later, I wondered if I’d called just to hear his voice! Had to admit, it stopped my heart! I knew at that moment, my life was nothing without my Giant!

He asked later if I had called once and hung up! I admitted I had, only to hear his voice. He broke into tears and told me he knew it was me and that simple act meant more to him than I would ever know! He knew that I would be coming home to him! I would be his!

I called Sam and talked to Chief at work one day to wish him a Happy Birthday! He wanted to come ride with me! I told him to come on I was going to be in Billings at a little Gay Man’s home for Thanksgiving that year and to come on up. I gave him the Kid’s address and phone number. Never thought he’d ride all the way up to Montana!

Low and behold! I was in bed fucking the B’Jesus out a’ this little Man and I heard the unmistakable sound of several Harley’s in his driveway. I recognized the engine sounds of three but didn’t know the fourth. Think I’m full of shit? You ride with someone long enough you get to know the pitch and sound their Bike makes. You can tell who’s coming a mile away! Especially Harleys! Each one has a unique sound that’s it’s own!

I hadn’t even bothered to tell this little Guy, Wendell, I had invited my Brother for Thanksgiving. I had told him about Chief and my Family but never thought Chief would show up!

I jumped out of bed, pulled on my leather pants, went to the door and there was Chief, Big Beryl, Blaine and a big Italian Man that was a Family member named Tony. I was crazy about Tony as a friend. To think, they all four rode all that way to be with their lost Brother for Thanksgiving! They were all hugging and kissing me with great joy!

Poor Wendell was in culture shock! He was good natured though and took it in stride. They didn’t just shake his hand! They all had to hug him, kiss him and thank him for taking care of their Brother! He also couldn’t believe how good looking the four of them were, especially Tony! Wendell couldn’t take his eyes off Big Tony! Tony thought Wendell was a little bit of alright too!

I told Tony on the side to take him if he wanted! I was gonna’ be catching up with Big Beryl, Chief and Blaine. Tony carried him off to bed and treated him to some good hot Italian Salami while we drank, talked, laughed, cried, and caught up with each other!

We talked ‘till the wee hours of the morning then Beryl and Blaine sacked out in Wendell’s spare bedroom. Chief and I unrolled our sleeping bags and he treated me to some wonderful Red Man dick.

He felt so good I cried in his arms as he was fucking me. It was one of the sweetest fucks I’ve ever had in my life! My Brother could still do it to me! I loved him! I still remind him of that night on Wendell’s living room floor. He always gets this pleased smile across his handsome face!

I guess it was at that moment I realized that I needed them all in my world again including my Master! Wendell, in a way, had brought that about!

Wendell felt bad the next morning he had gone with Tony instead of staying with me. I grabbed him, kissed him and told him that Tony was my Brother and Brothers share! Did he enjoy sleeping with big Tony?? Oh, yes he did!! Then forget it! I still loved him.

The three of us, Wendell, Blaine and me whipped up a Thanksgiving dinner to end all Thanksgiving Dinners! Wendell had invited several of his Gay Biker Buddies over for dinner to meet me.

Since there were more than he counted on Blain and I took his truck and went to the store and bought a couple hundred dollars worth of food, booze, and snacks so Wendell could impress his friends. Wendell had no idea I had money! His eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the shit we brought him.

We bought another complete ready made Thanksgiving Dinner with Turkey so he would be sure and have enough for everyone. He was speechless and couldn’t thank me and Blaine enough!

Now he had five new friends to introduce and he was loving every minute of it. His Buddies were genuinely impressed. They knew hard core Bikers when they met them. A couple would have done anything to have had any one or all of us. We were Wendell’s guest and he let them know it! Tony really poured on the affection in front of Wendell’s Buddies. He ate it up!

It was a lovely, wonderful day. Wendell had so much love shown to him by the five of us he was aglow by the end of the day. He eventually came to LA, went through training with Big Jim and Chief and was sold to a wonderful Master in our Family. Guess who?? Big Tony!

Another Man similar to Master Zack, Tony was a huge, fine looking, Italian Man with a cock to match! He fell madly in love with Wendell that week in Billings, Montana and made a claim for him before Wendell even entered training!

Wendell found his slave Heaven on Earth as well! He had never even heard of being a slave before he met us. Then when he found out Blaine and I were both slaves he got very interested! Especially went Big Tony told him he was looking for a good slave to serve and pleasure him!

We stayed with Wendell all weekend and that following week as well. He was a school teacher and had the holidays off. I paid for everything while we were there! Food, booze, any thing Wendell needed for the house. I left him an envelope under his pillow with a funny thank you card and a hundred bucks for anything we may have forgotten to pay for. We all signed the card!

Poor Wendell never had a chance! Never saw it coming! He was Tony’s slave before we left Billings! He and Big Tony had Bonded as Master and slave! (You can always tell when they start gathering twigs, bits of twine from the yard, start building little nests in the corner of a room and making that funny chortling sound!)

They were terminal! You’d of thought they were singing the last act of La Boheme they cried so much in each others arms as we left! The pain of lovers parting! God help us! Big Beryl, Blaine, Chief and I would look at each other with these blank looks, then Beryl would roll his eyes toward God! Chief, Blaine and I would fall off our fucking Bikes laughing at the Old Man. He was too funny! I hadn’t laughed that hard and that free for a long time. It felt great!

I knew they had come to take me home! It was time! I had made my Peace with God, finally located my heart and knew where it was! It was being kept safe and warm, out of harms way, still loved, waiting for me, in the body of a gentle Giant that dwelled on a Mountain!

Damned if my ass didn’t know it too! It twitched all the way back on that Milwaukee Vibrator thinking about riding Babe to the barn again.

We left on a beautiful, warm day (warm for Montana in the dead of winter!) the day after New Years! About half way back I got my big Butt Plug out of my saddlebag and inserted it. I hadn’t worn it in over a year and a half. If I was going back to being a slave I better break my Butt back into wearing it! Came three times the next two hundred miles. That damn Plug new it was home! Back in Beau’s saddle again!

I’d signal to Beryl or Blaine that we had to take the next off ramp. They’d signal why, I’d point to my crotch and just shake my head. They’d damn near wreck their bikes laughing to get to the next off ramp so I could clean myself up! Finally, Dad Beryl told be to take toilet paper and wad it up in my Cod Piece to act as a sanitary napkin so we didn’t have to stop so often. Damned if it didn’t work!

Old Tony was heart sick all the way back. He looked like a wall eyed calf that lost it’s Mother! We’d stop every two hundred miles or so and Tony would disappear into a phone booth to call his little slave! He had it bad! We were happy for them both.

Wendell couldn’t get enough of that big Sweet Italian Sausage and Tony couldn’t get enough of Wendell’s tight little slave’s ass! Damn! They were always going at it! We were taking odds that Wendell would be the first Man in history to become pregnant! If he didn’t, it wasn’t from lack of trying!

Talk about your sexual athletes! Those two took Gold Medals in every event! Wendell served Tony well! Tony was strict, demanding and loved Wendell with Italian passion, slightly more than his pasta!

Wendell’s last name, by the way, was Fabrizzi! Could cook pasta al dente’ and a Marinara Sauce like an Italian Whore. Tony put on thirty pounds the first six months they were together. Wendell swore it all went to his cock!

I returned to the desert with Beryl, Blaine, Chief and Big Tony. I didn’t want anyone to know I was back. The Family was due to spend Christmas at Will and Zack’s so I just stayed there with Beryl and Blaine until the day before Christmas Eve.

They were devious and had this huge prank cooked up. I went along with it. But it meant I had to stay wrapped up in a fucking card board box for several hours. So Blaine came up with a better plan. Have the box under the tree! Get Big Jim outside!! I was to get into the box with no clothes and Blaine would put the top on and seal it up again.

Just before everyone was to exchange gifts Christmas Eve, Beryl took the Dungeon Master aside to talk in private about our trip up to visit me. I slipped into the box as mouths dropped all over the Family. Those who recognized me were shut up real quick and told they could see me after the Dungeon Master opened his present from Santa Clause.

They handed out every fucking present under that tree before they got to me. Finally, Will was playing Santa Clause and asked his Master who the big box was for!

“Oh that’s from the Family to the Dungeon Master! I was told to tell him it was from Santa Clause but it’s really from the Family for their appreciation of the good work he’s done this last several years. Right folks??” Master Zack asked. Everyone applauded!

Some guessed it was a new TV. Big Jim was stunned but came to open his present! When he removed the lid and looked in he saw this naked bearded, stached, long haired Man he didn’t recognize until I stood up and he saw my rings. He grabbed me and held me tight as our Family went nuts! They were happy for the both of us to see us reunited. I knelt in front of him!

“Master! You once told me that if I ever needed a good Master to come to you naked, kneel before you, kiss your boots and asked you to, please, be my Master! That you might consider it!” I knelt, bent over and cleaned, kissed his boots.

“Dungeon Master, Sir, would you please consider taking this most unworthy of all slaves to be your servant, your slave. To own me for the rest of my life.” He dropped his hand for me. I kissed it lovingly and held it to my forehead.

“Rise most worthy of slaves to your new Master’s arms and show him your love!” My God, I was all over that big Man! My heart let go and we both were crying our guts out in each others arms. Our Family was going berserk.

Everyone was in tears and the celebration began. I was transferred to his ownership that Christmas eve and we’ve never spent a night apart since. That’s been twenty years ago this Christmas!

Four of us live together today! Chief took Blaine as his slave after Master Beryl passed away. Blaine had real problems when Beryl died. It just seemed like the Bonding in our Family of Masters and slaves was tighter than any other form of Human Bonding I’ve ever experienced. While it was wonderful when it was happening, when one died it was the pits!

Everyone deeply mourned Beryl’s death. Jeb died of a massive stroke in his sleep less than a year later which added to the Family’s sense of loss. Two of the Major cornerstones of the Family gone within a year of each other. Two of my Saviors gone within months of each other. God, it was hard but I had my Master to lean on and I had to be strong for him and Blaine too. He had just lost two of the most important Men in his life as well.

By the mid or late 80's the Family Clan had drifted on to other Clans or established separate Family Bonds. There was still a hard core band of us that got together regularly but nothing like the earlier days! The early 90's saw the first large reunion of the Clan Mc Innis at Zack and Will’s.

Two years later, another at the Captain’s and Xander’s! The Captain was in poor health and passed away the following year. He and his Brother’s (Earl and Jim) had grown close over the years and Xander and I were Buddies.

Walker left Xander, Leon, and me a lot of money and properties. He also left his Brother Big Jim a hefty chunk of change. Xander and Leon never had to work another day in their lives if they didn’t want to. Neither did Big Jim and I.

Where is Leon living? Guess? Yep, Pilgrim, you’re right! On that same five acres the Captain deeded to him years ago, in the same little Cabin, with one of the happiest little slaves in history!

His little salve, Ed, always has a smile on his face and we just can’t, for the life of us, figure out why?? Just because he’s a slave to the epitome of the last American Cowboy that has the dick of death shouldn’t make him that happy! Should it?

Leon has the money to live anywhere he wants! His little slave Ed, doesn’t want to live anywhere else. Can’t say’s I blame him!! Leon belongs in that Cabin and probably will die there. What better place to go??

One of the better, but smaller get togethers was at Leon’s and Ed’s. It was like the old days when everyone had to fend for themselves. Leon and Ed just weren’t the kind to entertain so when you went to their place you took provisions along. No one cared! Everyone shared! We all had a great time! In some ways it was more fun!

Master Zack, Will and Leon continued a friendship over the years! They lived close to each other and Zack and Will were forever helping Leon with some project. He was good to help them in return!

Worked his ass off one entire fall to help bail them out of a project they had taken on that really was too big for just the two of them. But with Leon’s help they pull a rabbit out of the hat!

Little Ed’s a worker too! He was great at clean up and the guys didn’t have to worry about being in a hurry to do something and leaving a mess. Ed was right behind them with brooms and shovels. The four of them are really tight today and visit back and forth regularly.

Leon hasn’t aged a day since I first laid eyes on him all those years ago. He has pure white hair now, but he still has the same handsome, mean demeanor, leathered face he always had. Ed has mellowed him a lot. You would have never thought that Leon could become a lover!

Wrong!! I knew it all along! If the right little slave came along and won that big lonely heart, they would have more loving Master than they would ever know what to do with!

I was wrong about that! Ed knew exactly what to do with him and did it well! They are together today and still very much in love! Leon made a great Master and keeps a short reign on Ed!

Leon see’s the path they’re going and Ed is going to take him where he wants to go! Ed worships the ground Leon walks on! They look like Mutt and Jeff but there is a glow about the two of them that even Will says is unusual. When they’re together their auras change colors as one!

In all these years, Leon has never brought himself to say goodbye to me! It’s always with tears in his eyes he holds me and whispers,
“See you on down the trail, Sweetheart!”
“On down the trail, Cowboy!”

Big Dirk inherited a ranch in Montana and he and Allen moved up to become ranchers. My Master and I visited them. Will and Zack went up to visit. Master Wolf and his new slave went to visit. They treated anyone from the Family like royalty when ever they came up. In the late eighties Allen developed nephritis and died of kidney failure.

Dirk went crazy! Sold the ranch got on his Bike and the last anyone ever heard from him was he was still running with a straight Outlaw Gang. He made several attempts to come back in the Family but Allen was his bridge and he just felt too much like an outsider without him. We all still love him and wish him well. Maybe he’ll read this someday and come home!

Josh is still with us! Breed passed away two years ago of Cancer. Josh took care of him until the end. Will and he fought the Cancer and probably prolonged Breeds life by two or three years. But it finally spread though out his body and their gifts were just not powerful enough! Sam and Doc. Yoshie were by his side when he passed. Most of the Family including my Giant and I were there too. Breed became greatly loved by everyone in the Family. He and his Master were two of the most highly thought of members of our group.

He was buried with his Master’s cock in him! Josh couldn’t and wouldn’t deny the love of his life that ultimate gift. The members of his Family buried him beside a huge boulder on his property that he loved so well in and unmarked grave. It’s what he wanted! Josh still owns the property but rents it out. Say’s he wants to be buried along side his slave.

Just think, when those two are reunited in a hereafter Breed’s Master is going to be made whole! He’ll have his big dick back where it belongs and he’s gonna’ fuck his slave throughout eternity with it! Will Breed have a smile on his face or what??

Josh lives in one of the small one room apartments with Zack and Will right now. He doesn’t want to leave the desert although we’ve been trying to talk him into moving in with us! He couldn’t live in the house he and Breed lived in all those years. It was just too hard for him! Understandable!

We have a huge place and a Garage apartment that isn’t being used for anything but storage. He’s considering coming to stay with us for a while to ‘try it!’ We hope he does!

Billy and Oscar live together in Palm Springs. Oscar had money of his own when he and Master Bert got together. When Master Bert passed away he left most of his estate to Oscar. So both Billy and Oscar are two of the richest Men in Palm Springs.

We get drop in visits for a week or more when they want to come to the San Diego area. We think they just come sometime cause they’re bored. They’re always welcome! We always have a good time with them! I still sneak off, with my Master’s blessing, and throw a fuck in my Hero, Clancey Mc Gee every now and then! Hell, we never eat so good as when Major General Oscar and his troops hit the mess kitchen.

Bull and Charlie live in Poway, Calif. not far from us. They are near Bill, his wife and Kids. We all get together around the holidays and talk about old times.

Part III~Little Beau Peep

Weaving olden dances
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles
Whilst the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in it's sleep
Come away oh human child
To the waters and the wild
For the world's more full of weeping
Than you can understand
W. B. Yeats

The most amazing story I’ve saved for the very last! Some may not approve of the players or how they got together but it’s really not ours to judge. They are happy and it’s between them and their maker to be judged. We certainly don’t! We love them both!

When we were taking over the Shop and forming our corporation, one of my stipulations in putting up the money was that Dad Jake be taken in as an equal partner! It was agreed plus I agreed to foot the bill for operating expenses for the first six months. When we called him in to tell him he thought we were going to fire him because we wouldn’t need him any more.

I razzed his ass mercilessly about not having faith in his boy! He cried when we told him he would be an equal partner. He stood to make twice as much money per month as he had in the past and needed it as Anita had given birth to their seventh child, a beautiful boy, about five years before and was in poor health. The Child was named Samuel Beaureguard Redfeather Raggazzi!

We jokingly called him Little Red Sambo! But he was known as Little Beau ! Naturally!! What else?? But over the years his brothers and sisters started calling him ‘Little Beau Peep’! It took! He was good natured about it and the adults started calling him ‘Peeps’! So he was know as ‘Little Beau’ or ‘Peeps’! He was and is a love!

The Dungeon Master, Master Earl, Chief and I were his God Fathers. We attended his Baptism. Master Earl was on Patrol and had to come in his Uniform. The attending Priest didn’t know what to think!

“He has four God Fathers?! One’s a Giant, one’s an Indian Chief, one’s a Cop and the fourth is a Body Builder Vietnam War Hero?!” The Priest asked laughing. “Lucky Little Boy! Must be very special!” The Priest allowed. We assured him he was!

Anita had already started going through menopause when she got pregnant and the Doctors told her to abort the baby! It was just too risky! Being a good Catholic she wouldn’t hear of it! There were complications and she never fully recovered. She remained ill and in poor health until she died three years later. Dad Jake never married again!

Jake and I had continued to carry on with each other once or twice a month in a small apartment at the back of the Shop that Chief and I had fixed up for emergency sleep overs in Silverlake! My Master knew if I had to work late chances were that Dad Jake was gonna’ tear off a piece of my ass! Master Earl never got upset nor tried to get me to stop giving Dad Jake sex. He just considered Dad Jake part of my extended family and included him in a lot of things at the house.

Dad Jake was left with seven Kids and no wife. Master Earl, Chief,the Dungeon Master, and even Master Jeb helped out as much as we could.

He finally hired a lady in the neighborhood to take care of the two smallest ones and his sister helped as much as she could. Then too his oldest Daughter was out of High School and still living at home. She took over a lot of responsibilities.

After I got my head from up my ass, I became the Dungeon Master’s Property, we lived together for a number of years on Mt. Washington. It wasn’t far from Dad Jake’s and we were all the time taking the Kids somewhere to give him a break.

Chief and I would go over a couple of times a week and help out with laundry, cooking, and clean. If he and the Dungeon Master had any slaves in training they were taken along for “Community Work” we told them! Not a one ever complained!

Anything that needed to be done we tried to do to help. Little Beau was our constant companion and helper.

The Kids began to think of the Mt. Washington clan as Family. We practically helped raise those Kids. And the favorite of everyone was the baby of the Family, Little Beau!

He learned very quickly who, Chief, Big Jim, Earl and I was and our relationship to him as his God Fathers! He could get us to do anything he wanted by batting those big brown eyes! He looked just like Anita! Peeps was so even tempered. He loved everyone!

He was too pretty to be a little boy and got teased unmercifully in school because of it. He had the prettiest long eye lashes that curled up just like someone had used a curler on them. I loved him from the minute I laid eyes on him as a baby! I knew he would be special.

I also knew by the time he was six years old he was going to grow up Gay. I talked to Dad Jake and asked him if he was showing Little Beau enough attention. I warned him that all the signs were there. He must do something if possible. He was the only one that could show him the Masculine love that Baby needed!

I preached to him until he’d get so angry he’d shake his fist at me and curse in Italian. I’d yell back at him, “Well, if you didn’t want us to care for Peeps you should have never make us his God Fathers! But, you did and we are so live with it!” Then he’d break up laughing at the absurdity of it all. We would too!

Maybe little Beau was genetically meant to be Gay! Who knows? Jake tried but he just had real problems loving the Kid because he secretly blamed him for Anita’s death. The Kid knew it too!!

The Kid has a brain up in lights! So Little Beau attached himself to us! He grew further and further apart from his Father but loved him deeply! He just didn’t know how to get his Dad to love him! He couldn’t! He tried everything in his little power to gain his Dad’s love.

He was developing the body of a young God! Dark, swarthy olive complection, a face by Michaelangelo, and like his old Man, a sizable member between his legs. He was one of the most popular Kids in his High School! The girls adored him and the boy did too!

He wanted to be good at sports and made Chief and I teach him how to play ball! He was forever hounding us to play catch with him. He got to be pretty good! He was on the team in High School and Chief, Big Jim and I never missed a game.

We had to physically drag Dad Jake to a game. He didn’t want to go! He just didn’t care! Little Beau was crushed! He’d done all this so his Dad would be proud of him. He was a better athlete than any of his brothers!

We would brag about some play he made and he would be beaming and his Dad would say, “It was O.K! But your Brother could have done better!” Well, his brother couldn’t have done better! How would you feel?

I chewed that Old Man’s ass out until he couldn’t believe some of the words that came out of his adopted Son’s mouth. Told him I was ashamed to call him my Dad anymore!! He got the message!

I finally told Little Beau to give up and if his Dad was to come around he would but he had to let go for his own sake.

He had even tried to take over being a Wife to Jake. He learned to cook and had dinner waiting for his Dad every evening he was in High School. He washed his Dad’s clothes, folded them, put them away. He washed and waxed his Dad’s truck every week.

He mowed the lawn, did yard clean up around the house, fixed, painted and generally ran the house. His Dad never even offered him an allowance! We slipped him money on the side!

I’d give him money! Chief would give him money! Big Jim would give him money! Each time he would faithfully tell us, “But Beau, Big Jim and Chief have already given me money!”

“Keep your mouth shut and take it!!” I’d stuff it in his pocket. It always got me a hug and a kiss!

He graduated from High School Second in his class of four hundred students. His Dad was not going to the Graduation! Chief, the Dungeon Master and I told him if he wanted to live he would get dressed quickly and nicely that we were going to escort him if we had to tie him up and sit him in a chair.

He was smart enough to know when we meant business but he had never seen God Father Chief angry before. Later he told me he never wanted to see him angry again either. He was scared to death that Big Indian was gonna’ scalp him if he didn’t do as we told him! I would have handed Chief the knife!!

We had taken Little Beau on a lot of the Family get togethers over the years! He knew the score and had no problem throwing his clothes off with me, Charlie, Blaine, the Eunuchs, Will, (he loved Button).

A lot of the Family knew and loved him. We don’t know how they found out, but there was a contingency of about fifty Bad Ass looking Bikers there for his Graduation that all stood and yelled for him when he went to get his diploma. His Dad was impressed that these Guys thought enough of his Kid to come to his graduation.

Little Beau was thrilled beyond words that all of them came and were carrying him around on their shoulders. It did a lot for his image in the High School as well. His classmates were impressed!

That year we sold the house on Mt. Washington and bought this huge estate in San Diego County with several houses and big Garages with apartments over them. Little Beau was still living with his Dad and playing housewife. His Dad just took him for granted.

Little Beau helped us move and was around us a lot that month. He always insisted he be home for his Dad to take care of him. He did spend several nights away with us in San Diego with his Dad’s permission. Here he was almost twenty and still asking his Dad’s permission for every move he made. He never once complained.

That weekend I asked him what he wanted to do with his life. He told me that he wanted to go to college to be a Veterinarian but his Dad had said it would be too expensive.

We knew Jake had put three of the Kids through College with no sweat. They were not half as intelligent nor bright as Little Beau. They hadn’t made the grades he’d made in High School!

Jake was making damn good money from the Shop. We had been approached by larger firm to buy us out at a huge profit so we decided to sell! We all could retire from what we got.

Jake ended up with enough to be comfortable the rest of his life. But wouldn’t put the Kid through College. I’d had it with him!! I was so angry! Chief was angry! The Dungeon Master was livid! I asked one question of them both and before I could get it out of my mouth they both yelled , “Yes!!!”

“What if we.......?” “Yes!!”

We simply moved Little Beau in with us and told his Father he would be attending U.S.C. Davis (San Diego) in the fall for Veterinary Medicine! If he wanted to see him he would have to come down! Jake didn’t seem to care one way or the other! Except now, he was alone!!

We’d get a phone call from Jake in an evening and tell him all about Little Beau and he was making top grades. We were all so proud of him. Jake never once asked to speak to the boy.

Little Beau finished his Freshman year at the top of his class and we couldn’t be happier. We had bought him a small car and he loved it. He was beginning to have sex with guys and wanted to know if we would.

We told him we didn’t think that would be a good idea because we were so close to his old Man but we had no problem with any one else in the Family. Well, he fell in love with Sarge! Wouldn’t you know!!

Titus and Button welcomed him into the Family! That dirty Old Man Sarge ( I loved him!) taught the Kid about good sex! How to give it and how to take it!!

He taught him well and I’ll have to give the Old Fart his due! No one could do it better than Sarge. I spent many a wonderful, happy evening riding that cock of his calling him every name that came to my head to get him to fuck me harder! He never let me down! Ever! He would never let me come!!

Then he’d have me trade places with him! He’d get in the sling and I’d slam my old dick into him as hard as I could!! Then he’d tell me that I could come up his Butt but if I didn’t get him off the second time when I shot he was gonna’ cut my dick off!

I never failed him either!! We laughed for years, ‘till he passed away, about our Bonding and the sex games we played together.

I told every one I had no doubt that filthy Old Pervert would do exactly what he said he was gonna’ do to me so I had to bust his ass to make sure he got what he needed! Then we’d both roar with laughter! God, I loved that Man! I cried more at his funeral than I did at my Masters! Why? Because I had learned how to let go! How to get it out! Had to!! My love, Big Beryl wasn’t around any more to take me to the Barn!!

In memory of one of the finest Men I ever knew or played with, Sarge was a Man among Men! I miss him today with all my heart and I can’t stop the tears as I write this! Under that gruff, mean, foul mouthed, facade beat the heart of one of the kindest, gentlest, caring, giving Men I have ever had the pleasure to know in my life.

I had accompanied Little Beau up to LA to visit his Father the end of his Freshman year at U.S.C. His grades were tops in his class. I left him with his Dad and went to visit friends. Bull and Charlie were just planning to move to the San Diego area. I spent several days with them and several with Sam and Doctor Yoshie! I had such a good time.

I called Jake’s house and Little Beau answered. He was sort of quiet and said he was ready for me to pick him up. I drove by and Jake was all over me hugging and kissing me. So glad to see me again! He never even hugged Little Beau goodbye! The boy just got in the car and quietly closed the door to wait for me.

It was a very quiet ride back to San Diego! Just beyond San Clemente near the Nuclear Reactors Little Beau kept looking at the Ocean with his face turned away from me. I could see in the reflection he had tears running down his cheeks he didn’t want me to see.

I pulled off onto a rest area and RV parking area on San Onofre Beach. I got out, used the head and came back to the car. I went to the passenger side and told him to get out, we’re gonna’ take a walk!

He looked like a seventy five years old Man that had the burdens of the world on his little shoulders. I make him take his boots off! I took mine off and we threw them in the trunk. We walked down to the Ocean and hand in hand walked along the beach. In the sand with water coming up to our feet every now and then. He wouldn’t talk.

Finally I grabbed him, pulled him to me and kissed him hard with a passionate kiss! I gently let him go as he started to cry and threw his arms around me.

“Peeps, I don’t care what happened! I don’t want to know! I’d probably go back and kick the Bastard’s ass! But one thing you have to know is that you have an entire Family that loves and cares for you! I am and always will be your number one fan and cheering section! I am, after all, your God Father! Chief is number two and the Dungeon Master is number three! Sarge is a close runner up!” He laughed.

“Nothing happened Beau! Absolutely nothing! If he had been mad at me or anything, but just nothing!” He broke into tears as I held him tight.

“I cleaned the house! I fixed Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner for him. I washed his clothes. I cleaned his boots. I washed and waxed his truck! I cleaned up the yard! He didn’t thank me for anything. Never said I did a good job or even a bad one! He just doesn’t love me Beau and I have always tried so hard to win his love. I can’t any more Beau, I just can’t try anymore!”

He was devastated! I was too! I couldn’t imagine what had come over the Man, Dad Jake, that I knew and loved all those years. To do this to his own flesh and blood. Why didn’t he just tell the Kid to fuck off! I don’t want to be bothered by you anymore! It would be kinder than what he was doing to him!

“What did he do while you were there, Beau?” I asked him.
“Nothing but watch television! Never talked to me! Even when we ate he never asked how I was doing in school. Nothing! Just got up put his plate in the sink and went back to his TV! I tried to talk to him several times and he hushed me up that he wanted to see what was on TV! I gave up! Went and found something else to clean! That was my vacation with my Dad, Beau!” He kind of giggled a disappointed little laugh.

“Look! I told you to stop trying! Next time don’t “do” for him! Just sit and make him nervous! Just be strong and sit there until you get a reaction, then go from there. Beat him at his on fucking sick game! I’ve know your Dad a hell of a lot longer than you have and I know what pulls his strings!”

“Beau! Why does my Dad love you so much! He brightens up every time you come around. He’s never done that for me! Did you and my Dad have a thing at one time?”

“By thing, you mean sex, don’t you?”
“Yes Sir.”
“We’ll, I’m too mad at your Dad to protect him and you need to know! Yes! I won’t lie to you Peeps ‘cause I’ve come to love you more than I ever loved your Dad and that was a powerful lot at one time! We played together occasionally for years!”

“There was a small single apartment at the back of the Shop that hadn’t been used for years. Sam originally fixed it up for Yoshie to hide in when he first escaped Breed years ago.”

“Chief and I fixed it up ‘cause it had an outside entry and we could use it if we got stuck in Hollywood for the night. Or if Chief didn’t want to bring a trick back to Mt. Washington, he could take him there!”

“We painted, redid the floor and made it real cute! We put an Air Conditioning Unit in it for comfort and redid the bath to make it really nice. Someone could have lived there!”

“Well, your Dad saw it and he and I started to use it after work sometime if both our schedules would allow! Maybe once or twice a week! All those years!”

“I haven’t been with him since you were in Junior High School and saw what he was doing to you! I’m sorry Beau but I love you deeply and couldn’t have sex with your Dad while I watched him reject you!”

“I never knew! Now it makes things more clear! I would have never guessed that you and my Dad.......”

“Don’t hate me Darlin’! I couldn’t stand that! It would break my heart, I love you so much!” I held him tightly in my arms.
“I don’t Beau but it does tell me something! He’s still in love with you and I’m just an echo of that love! I destroyed his Wife and then I destroyed your love for him! No wonder he hates me!” He cried again.

“I promise you Peeps, I’ll make it up to you somehow!” I said to him. “You already have Beau! Look what you’re doing for me! You guys are so kind and giving. I can’t even look at something like I might like it or one of you will buy it for me! No young Man could ask for better God Father’s but your more like three Big Bothers! Hell, I love all you guys like I could never love my old Man! I wanted to love him, but it’s hard when you get nothing in return, Beau!” I held him as he cried some more!

“Tell me Beau?” He looked at me with those killer brown eyes of his.“If you loved my Dad that way, why won’t you love me that way?”

He was right! He had me by the gonads! If I really loved him as I claimed why was I denying him what he probably really needed from me.
“Would it help if we were intimate?”

“I just know I need to feel your love this evening! Right now! I need love from someone and I’d rather it be you than any person on this Earth!”
“You know what Tiger! I need you too!” We kissed again.

I’d never been intimate with Little Beau before that evening but I felt we both needed it! I stopped and got us a Motel room in Carlsbad and called back to Bear Park! (Our name for our place!) I told them that we were stopping for the night ‘cause we were tired and neither wanted to drive any more. There was a TV show on Cable I didn’t want to miss!“Ya’ll have fun now, y’hear!” The Dungeon Master said laughing as he hung up the phone. My Master knew me too well!

We made love five times that night! He couldn’t get enough and I couldn’t fill him enough! Sarge is one hell of a teacher! I bought him a box of those awful cigars he loves after that and never told him why!

Little Beau and Big Beau fell in love with each other that night. We Bonded and I knew I would never let anything bad happen to this Kid as long as I was alive. He had become more our Son than he was Jake’s! I wasn’t going to let Jake hurt him anymore either!

The end of Little Beau’s Sophomore year came and went. That summer he spent with us or the Family. I occasionally had sex with him. The Dungeon Master and Chief began to use him every now and then. He was learning that sex didn’t have to mean you latched on to everyone who made a night of love to you. He didn’t learn it from me. Maybe Sarge! I still fall in love with anyone who throws a decent fuck in me. So!! I’m weak!!

He never once mentioned going back to see his Dad all that summer. The phone calls from Jake got to be less and less. The oldest Daughter called and said that he was miserable because Little Beau didn’t come to visit this summer.

I told her, “Good! Serves him right!” Then I laughed! She didn’t want to agree but had to. All Jake’s Kids knew what he had done to Little Beau and had tried to talk to him. They all expressed their disappointment the way he treated Little Beau. Then she said, “I think he’s gonna’ drive down to visit Little Beau!” I told her fine, we’d love to see him! He was certainly welcome!

Two days later I get a call from Jake asking if he could come down to visit us for a couple of days??
“Sure come on down, we’ve got plenty of room! Stay as long as you like!” I gave him instructions how to get to our place and he found it with no trouble.

I was so proud of Little Beau. His Dad got there and he didn’t run to him as usual. He walked into the room after his Dad had been there for a while and simply said with no emotion,
“Hi Dad!” And walked on through to the kitchen to get a cold drink. Came back in and asked his Dad if he could get him anything.

“No thanks Son!”
“O.K. Fine. Good to see you again Dad!” Turned and went back to his room. Jake was visibly shaken. I looked at him with sympathy in my eyes but just shook my head.

“I need your guys help!” He said in a low voice. I was afraid of what was coming. I had an ominous feeling and I couldn’t have been more right.

“Have I totally blown it with Little Beau?” I wasn’t going to coddle him. “Damn near Dad! Yeah! I’d say you’ve managed to kill ninety percent of any love he had for you and it’s real hard for any of us to have much sympathy! We warned you for years! You wouldn’t listen! What were we to do?! I wasn’t going to sit by and watch you destroy our God Son! The only God Son, Big Jim, Chief and I may ever have!”

“You don’t have all the pieces. You don’t know everything!” I didn’t like the sound of that but I had to know. I let him take the lead. If he wanted to tell us he would.

“I blamed him for Angie’s death for years! I couldn’t look at him I didn’t see her face. He looks just like her! He has the face of an Angel.” He started crying and I didn’t move to console him. Neither did Chief, Blaine, or the Dungeon Master. Sarge was visiting in Little Beau’s room but just visiting. They were making plans for going to the next Family get together in the desert.

“As time went on I couldn’t show him love because it was like I wanted to love him like I loved Angie or you Beau. I wanted to hold him and have sex with him from the time he was in Junior High School. When he started puberty I caught him jacking off one afternoon. I almost went in to lay down with him to help him. I wanted to hold him and make love to him while he was doing it. I wanted to catch him in my mouth! I know it sounds sick but I’m being honest here!”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and then I remembered my Dad catching me jacking off to Billy’s picture and asking if he could help! Six degrees separation of probability?? Less than that even?? Uno!

I suddenly began to see things in a new light. He had been falling deeply in love with his own Son all this time and didn’t know what to do about it. He knew that society would not accept incest. Hell, it has a hard enough time with Homosexuality let alone to be in love with your own Son!

He had bottled up all this without talking to a soul. He could have talked to me of all people! No, he couldn’t have! He knew how much we loved Little Beau and we took our God Parenting role seriously!

“When he comes home he acts like a slave to me! I remember you and Chief talking about Will and all the things he would do for you guys. Your descriptions of what a slave should be and realized I had that in my own Son with out the sex! It was barren! It was frightening! Because the truth is, I wanted it all with him!”

I looked at Chief and then the Dungeon Master for help they just looked at the floor. Blaine just shrugged his shoulders but didn’t look too sympathetic! I was stunned! What do you say to someone that has asked for your help and thrown you the curve of a life time. Then again, I thought, why didn’t you see this coming Beau??

You’ve known that Old Man sitting on your couch for years and you could never figure him to be an uncaring human being especially to a Son. Something had to be desperately wrong!! Well, there it was!! Staring you in the fucking face!! You just found out what!! Now, what the Hell are you going to tell him! Jake continued.

“He can walk by me and his scent ‘causes me to get erect! Not just a little! I mean a fucking boner hard Beau! Like I use to get with you. He has a scent just like Anita’s! How is that possible? He doesn’t use colognes or soap like she use to.”

“He doesn’t use deodorant nor hair spray like she use to. No talcs or bath powders! No bath oils! Nothing! I’ve checked every thing! How can a Male child have the same damn scent that his Mother had? You tell me that!!” I didn’t have an answer for him. I didn’t know.

Except I had noticed of late the same scent from my Giant that my Master use to have just before he wanted sex from me. Now I can tell when the Dungeon Master requires my services.

I don’t even have to ask! I just start taking off anything not gonna’ be used in sex. He asked me one day how I always knew. I told him a slave has ways of knowing those things about his Master! That scent was not from an aftershave! It was a sexual scent! Like my Beast was getting ready to go into rut!

Then about a week ago I passed Chief and got the same scent. Blaine had been gone for a couple of days visiting with Josh, Zack and Will. I pulled Chief aside and asked him, “Your room twenty minutes?! Meet you there??”

“I’d really appreciate it Beau!” He replied with kind of an urgent tone to his voice. I was there stripped, clean, and ready for use. He didn’t even say a word! He knew what I was there for and couldn’t get it in me fast enough! He used me as the slave I was intended to be! Damn good, too, I might add! My Indian Brother could still bring a satisfied smile to this old slaves face.”

Later that afternoon I was doing something and humming away while working. My Master passed by me then stopped.
“Chief?” Was all he asked
“Yes Master.” I said still working away.
“Fine.” He replied and walked on smiling to himself.

Could it be the same? Could it be our bodies produce one or the other pheromones depending on the role we need to play in sex. Is the Male of our species capable of producing both. Stranger things have been noticed about the human bodies ability to produce scents.

]“Dad.” I spoke softly to him trying to think. “Did you feel that strongly you couldn’t have met a middle ground with you own Son?”

“You know me Beau! That afternoon I asked if you were free to let me come by your apartment I knew I was gonna’ fuck the daylights out of you! I couldn’t hold back! I’ve never been able to hold back with you! I would go with you right now if your Master let me and you wanted me too!”

“I’ve missed you in the last eight years like you can’t imagine. I’ve even gone out to a couple of Gay bars looking for a replacement and can’t find anyone. I knew that to show him any affection I was going to go too far! I want him so bad!”

About that time Sarge walked in to say goodbye that he would talk to us before the weekend. I introduced him to Jake and he shook his hand.“Mr Raggazzi, you have one hell of a fine Son! He’s a good boy! You should be proud of him!” Jake thanked him and I walked Sarge to the door. I kissed Sarge and told him he would never know how much I loved him for what he just said to Little Beau’s Dad! Told him I would fill in the details later.

I came back in and told Dad Jake I had to think about this and let us get him comfortable and Blaine and I had to start dinner. We were on K.P. tonight.

“To be perfectly honest with you Dad I don’t know what to say! Am I shocked? No not really? Does it bother me? Only in the sense that I don’t have an honest answer for you as to how I feel about it. I haven’t had that much time to think. Can we just leave everything on hold for right now and give me a chance to think?”

“Plus I want to put in a call to Master Blanca-Lobos for his opinion. He helped me a lot just recently and I want to hear his take on this. Can we get together again after dinner and talk?”

“We won’t say anything to Little Beau about this and you shouldn’t either until we’ve had a chance to talk among ourselves. Dad! We’re not here to be your judge and jury! You and I are the last ones that should ever do that sort of thing to anyone from the love that you and I’ve had for each other all these years.”

Dad Jake agreed to wait until after Dinner to pursue this conversation. I immediately put in a call to Master Wolf and got his new slave Paul on the phone. Zane, his other slave had died of complications from AIDS several years ago. He said he was with a client but would have him give me a call as soon as he was finished. I told him it was somewhat of an emergency.

Blaine and I began to cook dinner and Little Beau came to the kitchen with no clothes on to help like he always did. I pulled him aside.
“Honey! Do your Old God Father a favor and go put some clothes on since your Dad is here! For his benefit.” He thought I meant because he was not use to seeing his Kid run around a houseful of grown Men in the nude.

“After he’s gone you can go back to being comfortable!” He started to say something and then stopped.
“Yes Master Beau!” Was all he said and trudged off to cover himself.
“Was he being smart aleck, Blaine?” I asked.

“Don’t think so, Love! I think he sees you as his God Father Master! That Kid would jump through flaming hoops for you and never question why with good reason! You’ve never lied to him nor told him you were gonna’ do something you weren’t, nor ask anything of him that wasn’t for his own good!”

“Shit! Not only him! I would too Sweetheart if’n you only suggested I do it!” He fell out laughing at his joke. “You never, ever told me to do anything unless it was for a damn good reason! In Nam or here! I would trust what you told me to do in a New York minute.”

The phone rang and I went to answer. Blaine was getting dinner on the table.
“Hello, Bear Park, Big Beau speaking!”
“Hey Beau! You wanted me to call!”
“Yes Master Wolf! Thanks for returning my call! Remember Dad Jake I spoke to you about and our ongoing relationship at work for years. Then I stopped it when he began to reject my God Son, his youngest child!”

“Yes! I remember it well and was a bit amazed that as a straight Man he jumped the fence for a Gay Man. Remember I told you my experience was that usually it was a strong single relationship with a Gay Man and he would not venture out to more partners! Exclusivity with one Male partner or Female is compatible with straight mentality!”

“Well, good Master there has been a new variable! He just laid it at our feet why he has rejected his youngest Son all these years.”
“I remember you told me he blamed the boy for his Wife’s demise! Is there more? No! Let me guess! His real rejection of the Kid is because he has realigned his sexuality with his Son. His Son has become his Wife and you!”

“You’re pretty damn sharp Master Wolf!”
“That’s why you pay me the big bucks slave Beau! There is, by the way, no charge for this conversation!” He said laughing. “It’s far to interesting to sully it with money. You should be charging ME for this one!” He laughed again.

“Furthermore,” He continued, “The child has done everything he could to win his Father’s approval with little results and has gone overboard in his attempts to please! Much like a slave would wish to win approval of his Master by pleasing him!”

“His Dad relates this with his experiences with you being a slave and has subconsciously rejected him more to induce this performance from him? Right?”

“You’re batting a thousand so far Master Wolf!”
“Then your question would be.....?”
“The boy is our God Son! Our Family here in San Diego is putting him through College. His Father refused to do that for him.”

“Of course he did! He didn’t want to lose control of his little slave! College would mean separation, knowledge, developing more mature self awareness. Perhaps an end to his power base! Frightening! Threatening! He’s there to reclaim his slave and re-establish control. He may even ask your help!”

“Exactly! He’s done exactly that! My question to you is how we should feel about this. Is this incest? Is it psychotic? Should we be indignant and seek to protect the Kid. He is our God Son! I don’t want to see him hurt any more.”

“Well! Is it incest! Absolutely! But only if sex occurs! It may be called incestuous but it isn’t incest until they boogie! Is it psychotic? Probably not! Should you be indignant?” He paused to laugh, “You’ve had sex with his Dad so you live in a glass house!”

“That would be a little like the pot calling the kettle black and if I know you like I think I do you’ve allowed the child to seduce you rendering you incapable of a rational judgement in this situation. I hate to be clever, but what the hell, you’re the shuttle cock and they’re the players!”

“I don’t think I like that analogy but I see your point!”

“Your next step is to lay it at the Kids feet! Not with his Dad present! Don’t even tell him, if you can avoid it, while Dad is on your turf! Send him back to his domain with hugs, kisses and promises to consider helping him but you need more time! What ever it takes, get him to his home!”

“Mean while, don’t alarm the Kid but manage somehow to have him sleep over tonight at a friends house. Get him out of the house! Dad is there to cause a confrontation that won’t be wholesome to the boy in the long run. The Kid can’t be expected to make a rational decision with his Dad offering to hand him the love he never had from him for twenty years!”

“Give the Kid any lame fucking excuse but get him out of the house! Got that?”

“Yes Sir! Sounds like damn good advice to me!”
“You do that, then you have breathing room and Dad won’t have a reason for staying around if he can’t cause a confrontation! We can talk again! I’m home all night tonight. I’ll be at the office tomorrow. Call anytime and I’ll leave word with my receptionist to put you through immediately. If you need me again tonight, call at any hour, I’ll take your call! Good luck and do let me know how you progress.”

“I will Master and thanks!”
“No problem! Good night!”
I hung the phone up and turned to Blaine who just looked at me.
“He’s pretty damn sharp!” Blaine nodded his head.
“Said we needed to get Little Beau out of the house for the night or for as long as his Dad is here. To get him back to his place before we talk to Little Beau about it!”

“Smart Man! Good advice!” Blaine said. “Call Sarge and have him come get him! He’s fifteen minutes away! They’ll keep him long as you need!”

“Good idea!” I said as I dialed Sarge’s number.
“Hey Button! How you doing Hon? This is Big Beau?!”
“I’m fine and you?”
“I need to speak to your number one Master for a moment if I may!”
“Sure Beau! He’s right here!”

“Hey Buns! What’s up!” Sarge came on.
“Sarge! We need your help!”
“Name it! You got it!”
“We need to get Little Beau out of the house for a while. Maybe tonight and perhaps tomorrow. Could you come get him?”

“Be right there!”
“Just let yourself in, go to his room, get him and leave as quietly as possible! O. K.?”
“Will do, Sweetheart, be there in ten!”
“Thanks Sarge, we owe you! We’ll talk later! I’ll call later if it’s O.K?
“Sure, anytime!” He hung up.

I went to Little Beau’s room! Knocked gently!
“Come in.” He replied to my knock.
“Hi Darlin’! I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything Master, you know that!”

“Peeps, I’m not your Master! Reserve that for Sarge, Chief and the Dungeon Master. Just call me Beau, Sweetheart!”
“O.K. Beau, I was just trying to show my respect for you!”
“I know and I appreciate it but it isn’t proper right now!”

“Sarge is coming by to pick you up to stay over at their place tonight! I want you to go with him and not come tell us good bye, understand?”
“Yes. I think so. What’s this all about Beau?”
“Will you trust me until tomorrow Sweetheart!”
“I’d trust you forever Beau! Sure I’ll go with Sarge! Love to! May even get to ride that big thing again tonight!”
“I’ll say a prayer for you!” We both laughed. “Now don’t come out of your room until Sarge gets here!”

“I promise Beau!” I hugged him.
“I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow morning!
“I love you too, Beau!”

Blaine and I got Dinner on the table. We never use the big Dinning room unless we’re entertaining the Family or the holidays. We have a table set up in an anti-room off the kitchen that use to be a large walk in pantry. Blaine and I completely re-did it to make it into a cozy kitchen dining area. Plenty of room for everything including a couple of linen storage cabinets.

Sarge had already come by and whisked Little Beau away. I went to Dad Jake’s room we put him in a quietly knocked. He came to the door.

“Come Dad! We have Dinner on the table.” He followed me down. The Dungeon Master was already seated and stood for Jake. Chief joined us and our next door neighbor, an older straight Man who had come to know and love us had been invited. Blaine sat down and I motioned for Dad Jake to sit next to me.

“Isn’t Little Beau eating?” He asked.
“He went to the movies with a friend and is going to stay over at his house tonight. We fed him and his friend before they took off! I reminded him that you were here and he didn’t think you’d want him to stay around! I didn’t say anything Dad ‘cause I haven’t gotten a clear picture yet about all the details. We’ll talk after Dinner.”

He seemed satisfied with that but again was visibly shaken that Little Beau didn’t want to hang around for him. What did he expect? Just because you’re the Kid’s parent, he is, after all, a legal Adult now as of his last birthday. He was twenty one. He could drink now and die for his country. Well, he could have done that at eighteen, he just couldn’t have voted as to whether he wanted to go to war or not!

We had a pleasant dinner. Bob, our retired Railroad Worker for Amtrak Neighbor, engaged Dad in a lot of conversation. They had a lot in common coming from the same straight mentality.

“Well, it was a little culture shock living next doors to what I thought was gonna’ be the Hell Angels.” Bob told Dad Jake laughing, “Then less and more so when I found out they’s was Hell’s Belles! We all laughed at his crude take on our life style.

“Then over the years they’s done a lot of nice things for me! A hell of a lot! Why, two of their Buddies cured me of a crippling arthritis the Doctors had given up on.”

“Be what they may, Masters/slaves, whatever they want’s to be, they be damn good people. Good to me! I’m right proud to have ‘em as neighbors!”

“Took me a while to get use to coming by and several of ‘em walking around in the buff but Hell, at their pool now I think nothing of joining ‘em. They don’t bother me! They respect me and I respect them! You say your Son is living here with ‘em?!”

“That sweet young boy that they call ‘Peeps”? If he’s your Son you have one hell of a Kid there Mister Jake! He goes out of his way to be good to me and does little chores ‘round my place. Won’t take a dime I try to give him for his help! Well mannered! Bright! Intelligent!”

Dad Jake just played with his food and muttered thanks to Old Bob. I knew there was a reason we’d been good to that Old Man all these years. He was like part of our extended family!

He even called Big Jim, Dungeon Master! He loved Chief. Told everybody he had a real, honest to God, Indian Chief living next door to him! We had grown to be able to kid with him and had a lot of fun with him.

Every now and then he’d bring a Sweetie by he was dating and if she got upset he’d dump her. He finally found this outrageous woman who had traveled the world who was not the least put off by our lifestyle. Her name was Blanche! She was a terror! A fun terror! Everyone loved Blanche.

She insisted Bob get a Bike and join the Family. They eventually did and were Married at one of our Family gatherings.

After Dinner it took a while for Blaine and I to clean up. Both Chief and the Dungeon Master helped. I wanted them all there for support when I talked to Dad. I already had in mind what I was going to say.

Thank God I called Master Wolf. The Man was good! It de-fused what might have been a bad situation. We all really got the idea he had come to pick up Little Beau, demand he give up school and return to LA with him.

Knowing Little Beau the way I do, he just may have done it! He loved his Dad that much! He would have considered anything to gain his love! He had attached himself to two very powerful Male figures in our Family, Sarge and the Dungeon Master.

He was always up in Big Jim’s lap with his head on his big chest while Big Jim read or talked to us. He’d have his arms around Little Beau holding him. The Kid soaked it up! I know how he felt.

I got my fair share of the Giants love with my head on his huge chest. He’s my rock to this day! Don’t care how bad things get, ten minutes in that Man’s arms and the world looks a lot brighter!

Little Beau was the same with Sarge. Titus and Button were giving enough to let Little Beau have some of their beloved Sarge’s love. Besides they had each other too.

By this time, Titus had pretty much taken over being Button’s exclusive Master. He reported to Titus first and then Sarge second, with Sarge’s approval of course!

I knew in my heart that Little Beau was going to end up a good Master’s slave. He wanted that more than anything. A Master would be the perfect replacement for the Father that was cold and rejecting.

He was wise enough to not kid himself about belonging to Sarge. Sarge became a ‘safe’ harbor for Little Beau. He knew he could give and receive all the love he wanted from Sarge and he didn’t have to worry about the complications of a real Master/slave relationship.

Don’t misunderstand! He still knew Sarge was his Master and always would be. He more than showed him that respect he was due and paid homage to Sarge’s boots as any good slave should!

He knew in his heart, as we all did, when it came time for Little Beau to go to his own Master, Sarge would send him with the greatest love from his heart! But you could count on Sarge to check the intended Master out to the Max!

As much as I ragged on Old Sarge and he and I went round and round, he was the perfect Master for Little Beau at that moment in time. I was always grateful to Sarge for that bit of kindness.

What the Hell, that dirty Old Man was getting a hot, young, piece of ass regularly! All he had to do was snap his fingers at Little Beau and the Kid was on his dick!

Nevertheless we were all grateful for the chemistry between the two. Sarge treated him like a Son! Little Beau needed that! When he did well in school, Sarge was the first he’d run to for approval. No one in the Family made a bigger fuss over Little Beau’s accomplishments or sang his praises more than Sarge!

We moved from the kitchen into the living room. Bob excused himself, thanked us for the Dinner and left. We were alone with Dad Jake.

“I talked with Master Wolf on the phone before Dinner Dad and he helped clear a couple of things in my mind. What I think we’d like to know is do you want to interrupt Little Beau’s schooling?”

“If necessary! Yes!” There was a stunned silence and I felt everyone pull back from Dad Jake. I tried not too. In a very soft strong voice I spoke.
“I won’t let that happen Dad!” He knew I held the trump card.
“He’s my Son! He belongs at home with his Dad not with you.......”

“Perverts, Dad??” He hung his head knowing I won that round.
“And I suppose what you have in mind it not just a tad on the questionable side? You want what you and I had! Only, now, you want it with Little Beau, your own Son! Just because he’s your Son doesn’t white wash the stigma of perversion!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
“No! You’re wrong! I don’t know that anymore. I did once and would have sworn by your love, now I’m not sure who you are anymore. I’m calling in all the debts you owe me right now Dad! For the sake of your Son! Right this very minute!”

“You know I don’t want money but I do demand control in this situation. You gave up control when you started pulling away from Little Beau when he was in Jr. High School.”

“Who was it that emotionally supported that poor Kid all those years? Who was it took him to Baseball practice and was at every fucking game to cheer him on! It wasn’t his Dad! Fuck, Jake, we had to rope and hog tie you to get you to his Goddamned Graduation! I should have just let Chief scalp you!! I was so disappointed and pissed at you I would have held you down while he did it!!”

“Amen to that Jake!” Interjected Chief who had just about heard enough!

“I came to ask your help not to get lectured to! I thought you’d understand. You guys of all people!”

“You’re wrong Jake! Your problem is that we understand all too well and you’re asking us to consider your selfish needs, not Little Beau’s! That’s exactly what you’ve done to him for years. You haven’t shown that Kid any love at all because of your misplaced sexual needs. Now, you sit there and tell me that’s not selfish!”

“Now that he’s becoming an Adult you want to demand he be your little slave but what kind of a Master do you think you’d make Jake! You haven’t done a damn thing to deserve him.”

“You didn’t want him to go to College to keep him under your thumb. He was your brightest child! Your crowning achievement as a Father. I would give both nuts and dick to have sired a Kid like him!”

“Every Man in this room is in agreement with that Jake!” The Dungeon Master spoke! “Hell, every one of us has become more of a Father to Peeps than you ever were! With or without a dick! I haven’t said very much but I’m backing my slave up a hundred and ten percent on this one Jake!”

“I won’t let you do it either with out some decent soul searching on your part! Besides that, Peeps is an Adult now, and I won’t let it happen unless I hear it from his mouth he wants it!” Surprised the Hell out of me but that was my Giant!

“Don’t look at me or Blaine, Jake, you KNOW we feel the same!” Chief added sternly!

“Look Dad! I’ll give you this! I won’t say no, I won’t help you! There will be stipulations! I want to discuss it with Little Beau away from you. I’m going to see that he stays away until after you return to L.A. He’s twenty one now!” Jake looked shocked! He didn’t even remember how old his own Son was!!

“You don’t have legal control over him any more. You also don’t have emotional control over him any more. We do! I do! Call us any names you want but thank God, he has seen fit to give us that option right now!”

“One stipulation will be he finishes College living here with us. Second: It will be his decision as to how much he wants to see you depending on the outcome of our presenting this news to him. If he’s totally turned off by the idea I’m not gonna’ lie to you, I’ll see to it he’s protected!”

“We all will, Jake!” Added Blaine. Jake hung his head and started to cry. Not a Man moved to console him including me. He needed to feel our solidarity! To console him would have shown a weakness in the ranks.

“Look Dad, you know me well enough to know I won’t try to influence his choice! I’ll present the facts and options and that’s that! You better do some praying. Some soul searching! We’ll talk tomorrow before you go back. It won’t look so bad in the morning, I promise!” Jake had gotten himself together and just nodded his head. I walked him back to his room.

It was late and I retired to the Bear’s Lair with my Master. He held me and kissed me. “I was so Goddamned proud of you Beaver I just wish Jeb and Beryl could have been here to hear that!”

“What makes you think they weren’t?” I asked smiling. “You think that either of those Old Men would have missed something that good with their Sweet Baby holding court!” We both laughed and then the Dungeon Master my love again surprised the hell out of me.

“Go to him Beau! Give yourself to him!” I looked at him stunned.
“Please Master! Don’t.....”
“That’s not a request slave! It’s an Order! You will obey your Master! Just trust me on this one!” He kissed me gently. “And don’t hold back from him either! You understand, slave??”

“I will obey Master!” I kissed him again and added. “You’re a better Man than I am Master!”
“You know that isn’t true you little shit! Now go!!” He turned and patted me on the Butt. “Don’t stay the night! You belong in your Master’s arms not his! Just pleasure him! Give him your love and return! I’ll be waiting! You may even get a second load up there tonight!” Loved that Man!

I went to Dad Jake’s room and knocked gently. Jake came to he door in just his underwear.
“May I come in Dad?”
“Sure, Son. Come on in.”

“My Master sent me to you for your pleasure! I have been ordered to pleasure you in any way you see fit. Furthermore, I am in agreement with my Master’s order and wish to please you. Perhaps, if I had not withdrawn from you eight years ago we wouldn’t be in this position.”

“I still love you Dad! You loved me all those years ago and still do. I can’t turn love on and off any more than you can. Give me your love Dad and I’ll give you mine in return.”

He grabbed me and held me tight! I held him equally as tight. He sobbed in my arms and thanked me and my Master for allowing me to come to him. I had forgotten how good Dad Jake felt in my arms. I recalled the love we had for each other all those years and the wonderful outrageous sex we had time after time! I started getting hard. He laughed.

“Your Old Dad can still do it to you, huh Kid?”
“You know it, you Old Fart! I love you so much Dad! There has to be a happy ending to this! We just have to find it together!”

“Let’s worry about that later slave you don’t know how bad I need your ass! I may come on entry!” I slathered him up real good with my spit. He mounted me from the top with my legs on his broad shoulders and slammed that huge Italian cock as deep as he could in my gut. He heaved twice, sucked in air and I could feel him filling me with his come. It happened just the way he thought it would.”

“That was just a warm up Dad! Relax inside of me for a minute and we’ll do some good old ‘down home’ fucking like you like to do. You need to ride your slave-boy for a while.” And he did. He couldn’t get enough! I didn’t think he was ever going to stop fucking me.

Then finally he started climbing the hill and I knew he was gonna’ get it. I asked him permission to come and he said no, save it for your Master! I didn’t but he emptied a second big load up my Butt. He still had it!

I could have come in a second but I had learned over the years not to if ordered by the Master fucking me. I was a matter of control and my need to become a good slave. Master Jeb had been right all along. I was harder on my self than any Master’s punishment could have been. I saw it as my Master’s right to control my coming.

Master Earl rarely let me come in all those years but when he did, Oh my God! It was like Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, my Birthday, the Forth of July, Valentine’s Day, Bastille Day, and Ground Hogs day all rolled into one!

He promised he would have me learn to control my ejaculations and he did. It got easier and easier as time went on. I still could come at a moments notice. Before he was killed he was working on having me come by snapping his fingers and ordering me to!

He had me performs several time for select Family Member to show off his slave! I was able to obey almost every time!

Our Family members were impressed. He’d have me stand at parade rest, take hold of my nose chain, pull it tight, snap his fingers and order me to come. He would pull harder on my nose ring and I knew not to follow. He wanted me to feel the pressure.

Sometime he would reach behind me and press real hard on my Plug as I pushed back as hard as I could. Pretty soon I couldn’t hold it any more and would shout, “By your command Master!”

I would shoot four of five feet in the air. Now my Giant is still following that same training and limits my coming. So I wasn’t real sure I’d get to come that evening. As it turned out I didn’t! He thought I needed to learn a lesson from that evening and coming would be a reward.

The next morning Dad was a different Man. Everyone including me was shocked out of our skulls. He was radiant! He talked little about the nights conversation but when he did it was with humility and acceptance that he knew Little Beau was in the best of hands and that we would do what was right for the both of them. We assured him we would as we waved goodbye to him.

“Well Beaver!” The Dungeon Master stated about to go on with his sentence and I cut him off!.
“Please Master! Don’t say it! I’ll say it for you! My Master knows best! Damn! I’m so sorry Master I even questioned you! I feel so bad!”

“No problem! You’ll be punished later!” He smiled wickedly.
“You promise?” I asked seriously.
“Of course!” He couldn’t contain himself any longer and we both broke up in each other’s arms. Glad that crisis had been averted!

“You know what this means don’t you slave?” The Dungeon Master asked.
“I have an idea but I’d rather hear it from my Master!”
“You’re gonna’ have to start making bi-monthly trips to LA to pleasure him to protect our God Son! With my blessing! What ever it takes!

None of us want to see that Kid hurt more than he has been by Jake! Maybe Jake’ll find someone else while you’re keeping his Beast at bay!” My Master had grown into a wise Man, and excellent Dungeon Master and a supreme Master! I was only too proud to serve him. Fuck! Did he punish me good!! Woah! My ass ached for three days! I couldn’t stop smiling!

Sarge kept Little Beau that night as well and returned him the next morning. Sarge and he were like to young lovers, whispering and giggling with each other. It was good to see! It was sickening! That retched Old Pervert! Sarge was one of a kind. Still wish there were fifty more in the world just like him.

When he passed away we thought we were gonna’ have to get a casket for Little Beau as well. It was like it was his real Dad laying there! In some ways, it was!

That young Man went through the tortures of the damned! Much like I did when my Master was killed. I knew what to do. I got him up and out before he had a chance to wallow to much in the quagmire of self pity and depression. I taught him how to grieve! I grieved with him! We all did! Sarge left a hole in all of us we couldn’t plug!

We all sat Little Beau down and talked with him. We asked Sarge to join us because we knew we were going to need him. He and Little Beau had bonded pretty tight over the last two years and Little Beau acknowledged Sarge as his Master!

I laid it out to the both of them and why we had to get Little Beau out of the house. Sarge immediately took our view and said it was the best thing we could have done under the circumstances. I gave credit to Master Wolf.

“Wise Man!” Said Sarge. We all agreed. Little Beau was stunned. He just sat there with Sarge’s big arm around him. He didn’t know what to say or think.

“If you want to stay with Sarge a while longer we have no problem with that, Son!” I told him. “Maybe, it’s better that you talk it out with him first!”

“No! Beau! Sarge knows I love him but I need to talk this out first with my God Father’s and then I’ll talk to Sarge. Is that alright with you Master?”

He looked at Sarge. “You know it is Sweet Baby! This is a biggie! You need to talk to your immediate Family first and then your Old Master’s arms will be waiting for you to listen!” He started crying and told Sarge he really, really loved him, hugged and kissed him. That’s just what the Kid needed was support from those that loved him most! We did! Sarge did!

Days went by and Little Beau wouldn’t talk to me. The summer was coming to an end and I suggested we get away together for a weekend. Ride out to the desert to Master Zack’s and Will’s. He thought that sounded good. He was in good spirits and didn’t seem preoccupied with the news. His other God Father accompanied us of course.

We took my Bike and he rode Buddy with me. He loved the big Bikes like I did when I rode behind my Master and my Giant. He loved wearing his leathers we bought him and he loved to see me in mine. He thought I was the epitome of a Biker Dude! (as he called it!)

He asked me to ride by the side of the Dungeon Master and just a bit behind so he could look as his big boots as he rode his Bike. Like God Father, like God Son!! Peeps was gonna’ be as big a Boot slave as I was! We’d laugh and giggle when we saw some Man with a really hot pair of boots and whisper to each other what we’d do to him if we could!

Master Zack, Will and Josh were so glad to have us there and we had a lovely weekend. He slept between the Dungeon Master and I but he still wouldn’t open up to us. I discussed it with Master Zack and Josh while he and Will were playing in the pool. Josh asked if he could try something. I said sure!

I’d seen Josh pull some rabbits out of hats that shouldn’t have had rabbits in them to begin with.

Later we were in the big Spa together after a wonderful dinner that Will cooked. Josh motioned for Little Beau to sit in his lap. Little Beau did! He admired and respected Josh greatly. He sat there in Josh’s lap and the five of us continued our conversation about nothing in particular.

I looked over at Little Beau and these big tears were rolling down his cheeks like salt water boulders. He wasn’t actually crying, they were just coming from somewhere deep within. Then I knew, Josh was healing something or at least breaking the dam for the flow to start. Josh wouldn’t let him go even though he asked to be excused.

“No! Little one! You need to sit right here for a while longer! That’s a loving Order from this Master, Son!” He held him tighter for about another half and hour. The dam broke!

He let go of Little Beau and he headed straight for my arms and let it all out. Years worth of pain, frustration, anger, hurt, hatred, envy and everything else one could think of. I held him tight as he cried and cried. Zack, Will, Big Jim and Josh gathered close to put their hands on him for support and comfort. It helped. All he could get out was, “How could he.......?” “How could he.......?”

“There! There, Baby Beau! The worst part is over! Healing can begin now! Thanks to Master Josh! There! There! Shhhuuuu.....it’s gonna’ be fine! Your God Father’s ain’t gonna’ let anything happen to you that you aren’t comfortable with.

“Master Zack can Little Beau and I go sit on your rock and watch the Sun go down. I think we need to be alone for a while.”
“Sure! You know where it is. Nice place to be alone! See you guys later.”

I pulled on my leather pants and boots and made him pull his on too because I knew the minute that Sun went down it was gonna’ start getting chilly. I led him hand in hand up the carved out steps up the side of the huge boulder to the natural ledge and sat him on the bench that Zack and Button had built many summers ago.

I leaned him up against me and put my arms around him to hold him. “You have to talk to me. You have to tell me what you’re thinking! You have to let it out!”

“I’ve been so afraid to tell you how I feel Beau!”
“Why Sweetheart? There’s nothing you could tell me that’s gonna’ make me love you any less.”
“You sure?”
“You have my word!”

“I want him Beau! I want my Dad for my Master! I’ve always wanted him as long as I could remember. When I reached jack off age I fantasized about him fucking me and me sucking him off, night after night. My bedroom closets back wall is the wall to our bathroom at home. I drilled a tiny hole through the wall so I could look through at him in the raw. I use to sit there watching him jack off sometime on the toilet and get mine the same time he did! I use to dream of taking his come and swallowing it.

One time he came in a rag and threw it in the dirty clothes hamper. When no one was looking I took it to my room and sucked his come out of it. It tasted wonderful Beau. I don’t care how he wants to love me Beau, if that’s the only way I can have my Dad’s love so be it! I need him Beau. I never had his love! Can you imagine me being his slave and taking care of all his needs.

Having sex with my Dad is the greatest thing I could think of happening to me. I never thought in a Million years that it might happen. Then this last week I began to think it just might.

I have to see him on my own though. I have to be with him. I have to see if what he’s telling you is true. I don’t fully believe it yet! Until he takes me in his arms and kisses me I won’t believe it! I didn’t want to say any thing before now because I though you might get upset and think I’m really sick!”

“Beau?” I began a question “How could I be upset with you when I’m as guilty in my feelings for you as your Dad! I’m your God Father and I’ve been making love to you! How much different can that be?

Besides your Old Man is a hot son of a bitch. My Master sent me to him that night to pleasure him and he fucked the snot out of me twice!” Little Beau giggled.
“Was he good Beau?!”
“Honey, your Old Man still has it! He can still send this old slave into outer space with out a booster rocket!” We both laughed.

“Then you understand why I might want him?”
“Oh God yes! I’d be lying to you if I said no! But is that what you really want?”
“What harm could it do to try my Old Man! I’ve never had much affection from him and to pleasure him might be just what the both of us needs. I can’t help but love him Beau! He’s my Dad for gosh sakes!”

“O.K. but I’m not going to let the two of you just jump into this. You have other people to think about. What about Sarge? You just gonna’ dump him because your Dad snaps his fingers and wants you for his little slave boy! I don’t think so!”

“I won’t let you do that to a Man I cherish, who has been more than good to you. He loves you very much. Then what about school? I won’t let you go with your Dad until after you Graduate and go to Vet school. That may be four more years.”

“I’ll allow him to date you and come see you but no permanent living arrangements. After that if the two of you still want to be Master and slave then you go through training like all the other slaves for three months.”

“Who am I kidding? Your twenty one years old. I can’t really tell you what to do but if your living with us and the Dungeon Master and I are your God Fathers I expect you to listen to us and abide by our wished.”

“I love you too much to hang school over your head and say, Well, you have to do this or no school! We won’t do that to you! Even if you go against our wishes we’ll still see you through school. We love you and that’s why we’re concerned.”

“I want him to come down to San Diego to live with you. If he wants you bad enough he’ll do it! Start out together on a new turf. Don’t go back into his world. Insist he began to think of you as his slave and not as his Son.”

“He has to set aside the fact that he is your parent. He must realize you’re an adult and doing this because it’s your choice and not his due as your Dad! Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

“I understand completely Beau! You’re trying to look out for me and my happiness and I love you for that! All you guys! You all watch over me like Mother Hens and I love it! Always have! It’s the only source of real love I’ve had in my life!”

“That’s why I didn’t want to disappoint you by telling you this! How I really felt about my Dad wanting to make love to me! I would lay in his arms in a minute! He has never held me in my life Beau! Never, even put his arms around me! Do you know what that would mean to me to have him do just that?”

“I think I can Little One, I think I can!” He started crying.

“He never has even told me that he loved me, Beau!” Then the flood gates opened again.

God! What parents won’t do to their children. Look what mine did to me. Made a family slave out of me at an early age and then just came to expect it of me as time went on!

Who among us suffered miserable childhoods wouldn't love go back and restructure those years as we felt they should have been. We can't! We have to make the best of what was thrown on our plate.

Some people spend all their lives not living but trying to get over their childhood! Some never do! How is it that in comparison to the number of years we spend on this planet that less than twenty of those years can have so much influence on us?

Boy! Little Bill had a great life compared to this Kid or me! Give me Bull and Charlie any fucking day in the week compared to what Jake did to Little Beau! He really doesn’t deserve the Kid! But Little Beau is head over heals in love with his own Dad! What can any of us say to him! “No! This isn’t right!”

Little Beau is an Adult! He can damn well do what he wants! The most I can do is try to impose restrictions to soften the worlds colliding! If Jake goes along with all the restriction without being ‘Bull of the Woods’ demanding then let them do it. Incest? Maybe, but it’s not very likely they’re going to give birth to an idiot child.

We sat on the bench and watched the Sun go down and the stars come out as I held him in my arms. I knew his anticipation. He had finally just given up on his Dad and decided, as so many Gay Men do, to find a substitute.

In a sense having a Master is the same as having a strong parental figure in your life. Structured a little differently but the roles and results are pretty similar.

Some need it more than others! Some only fantasize they need it but won’t give themselves to the reality. They just can’t get over their rebellious teenager syndrome!

If they only knew that was the key to passing into Mature comfortable, giving, sharing, Adult hood!

We talked some more and I pointed out to Little Beau that he had already very adequately replaced his Dad with Sarge who went out of his way to show him love and appreciation!

I knew I might as well be whistling ‘Dixie’ in a hurricane! He had to try his Dad! He was like a moth to a flame! I felt it! I knew it! Who was I to hold him back from the candy dish. Hell, I had it pulled away from me too many times in life to count and it hurts every time!!

I told him how satisfied his Dad seemed after my Master sent me to him and how appreciative and docile he was the next morning. That my Master suggested I go to LA maybe twice a month to run interference for him (Little Beau) until he can sort out the mess or until he gets through school!

That’s what his Family in San Diego is most concerned about. He’s doing so well in school! He’s happy with us and Sarge! Why rock the boat! He has the rest of his life to explore that avenue with his Dad!

I did get an agreement out of him! He would tell his Dad that his God Father’s were now his accepted parental figures! He was living under their roof and being supported completely by Them. He had to abide by their wishes!

He agreed he would tell him the truth about Sarge! That he had an older Mature Man that he felt comfortable calling Master that gave him a great deal of love! He was not going to just dump him! Sarge has been tremendously supportive and caring and he has obligations to him.

When we returned to San Diego there was a Night Letter that had been delivered Saturday evening. It was from Master Wolf:

Dear Beau's (Big & Little),

I've taken the liberty of dictating some thoughts to my secretary in the form of letter concerning Father/Son Homosexual alliances! (Fancy name for 'gettin'it on'!)

I have had several cases in my experience and they are not as rare as one might think! Sometime they occur by accident.

I had a Man in his early Forties come to me all upset. He had met this young Kid and they had fallen very much in love! They had been living and cohabiting ( i.e. fucking like snakes!) together for about two years.

Out the blue he gets this letter from his ex-wife who had left him shortly after his Son was born, disappeared, and he never saw nor heard a word from her about the child in all these years. He was stunned!

She had traced him though a mutual friend of their families and sent him this letter asking his help because the Kid had run away from her world and she hadn't heard anything from or about him in three years! Could he help? She enclosed a picture!

Well, guess who the picture was of? You guessed it! His little love!

What are the chances? The Fickle Finger of Fate? He came to me because he loved the Kid as a Mature Older Man loving a younger learning man. It was sort of a Daddy/Boy kinky leather S&M relationship!

But the Kid was twenty two when they met and was now almost twenty four! While he felt guilty he also didn't want to give up the relationship. Should he be honest with his Son or should he destroy the letter and picture and just be quite about it??

What would you have advised the Father if you were his therapist?

I told him absolutely share the letter and the picture with his Son! Do it in a wholesome manner! Preface showing him these things with a talk about what he is about to discuss with him in no way alters his feelings toward the boy.

He still will be his lover and Big Daddy (whatever!) it will probably even be better because of the news. He is not upset and he still loves the Kid very much, probably more now than ever! Not to let this destroy something wonderful that they have had for two years.

He did exactly as I told him and while the Kid was visibly shaken he immediately accepted the fact that his Father had indeed become his lover and he didn't choose to give that up either.

Since his Wife had been such an ass hole all those years to keep them apart they decided the Father would write her a nice cordial letter telling her he checked all areas he knew to check and he found nothing. The Kid for whatever reason never wanted to have anything to do with her again! They are still together after eight years and very happy! They have sex an average of three to five times a week.

While incest occurs far more frequently than anyone would like to admit there are more tolerable forms of it than others. For example, Father/Son homosexual bonding’s are tolerated better than Father/daughter incest!

Father/Son relationships of this nature occurs ten times more frequently among Brits than American! Why? We don't know! Perhaps they've got tighter Bums? Who knows? Also I would suspect, (not founded in fact!) that the number of cases of Father/Son relationships are higher than any one has ever guessed but because of the clandestine nature of them are rarely reported.

Hope this information is helpful.

Sincerely,

Master Wolf

Little Beau interred his Junior year a U.S.C. and was involved with school, our Household and Sarge. I began bimonthly trips to see Jake and we fucked like Alley Cats. He was always so happy to see me and sad to see me go. But he knew I’d be back in another two weeks so he was satisfied for a while. I talked to him about selling that big house and moving to a smaller one in San Diego. He said he’d think about it!

Master Wolf suggested that they begin to date if Dad Jake was interested. He did! He would come up and stay with us and date his Son. We didn’t care if they went out and got a Motel room but they couldn’t do it at our place. That was Master Wolf’s suggestion as well.

Things went well until Sarge got sick and passed away that summer Little Beau finished his Junior year. Sarge made him promise on his death bed that he would finish school that next year and he did! He grieved all that summer and into the school year. He didn’t want to see Jake for a while. I was still traveling up to LA twice a month. Started going by Amtrak and Jake would pick me up at the local station. I explained why Peeps couldn’t see him for a while. He seemed to understand.

Little Beau went through Vet school and he began to transfer his love for Sarge to his Dad. Jake bought a small place not far from us and saw more and more of Peeps His attitude completely changed. He paid for Little Beau’s Vet Schooling.

They began to have sex regularly even though Peeps continued to live with us all through Vet School. That was one graduation we didn’t have to drag Jake to. He was there with all of us yelling and screaming. He let loose a flood gate of love for Little Beau that was exactly what the Kid needed.

Little Beau became a Veterinary in a small suburb of San Diego. After going through three months of slave training with the Dungeon Master and Chief. Jake made a claim for him, paid for Little Beau’s slave training and rewarded the two trainers handsomely. Jake has made a better Master than any of us thought he might.

Peeps and his Dad have been living happily together for about three years now. Jake bought a big Harley and they come to the limited Family functions we have. They’re all the time at the house for dinner, weekends for pool, or we’re at their place.

Sometime the household and them go on a run somewhere. We have a lot of fun and Peeps couldn’t be happier. His Old Man showers that Kid with more love than you can imagine. Peeps waits on him hand and foot. He loves his Dad! His Dad loves his little salve!

It’s worked out better than anyone ever expected. Wouldn’t you know, the horny old Goat still wants to diddle me every now and then. My Master orders me to do it! I can’t say no! Besides, he still can throw the meanest damn fuck in me any Man ever has!

That’s where our Family is today! The story of Little Beau may upset some and it did us at first, but what the Hell! Isn’t love by any definition still love? All of life is living, loving, giving, accepting and loss. Our Family has done it’s fair share of all those but we remain together! Not as many as in the Golden Years but in some ways a more quality group of Men that you can count on to be there when you need them. I love them all!

My Giant remains my Master to this day. We have gone into the new Millennium together and my love for him has grown even as my love for Master Earl had. I’m gonna’ really be stuck in a life hereafter. I can’t give either of them up.

I have grown to love my Giant as much as I loved Master Earl. Have I forgotten my other Master? What do you think?? Of course not, I think about him every day. I know that some day we’ll all be together and I’ll serve the two finest Men it has been my honor and privilege to serve on this Earth. I will serve them both with pride, God willing, for an eternity! Or longer if he grants it!

End of Epilogue~ 8/27/01
Waddie Greywolf
[email protected]

*Sweet Baby James= The wonderful James Taylor, now being rediscovered by a new generation.*Anyone is welcome to send suggested title for possible new story ofBeau’s journey of discovery~