Lifetime Sacrifice

Lifetime Sacrifice

I'd met Mistress over the Internet. Oddly enough, she didn't think of herself as a "mistress" but rather as a woman with a high sex drive and an interest in non-vanilla activities. Many activities fascinated her, but the one that really drove her wild was that a man would willingly let a woman torture him. Not only that, but there seemed to be men who would let a woman remove their balls. The thought excited her, but she always believed it was nothing more than a fantasy. After several months of talking about this fantasy, Mistress sent email asking if I'd be willing to turn fantasy into reality. It took me a couple of days of thinking about this before I could respond. I hadn't actually met Mistress yet, she was just an electronic fantasy. What if we met and I realized she wasn't someone I could give myself to? I hadn't actually ever been tortured, what if I backed out as soon as the reality started? I decided to give her a wimpy answer: Let's meet and talk about this. Mistress agreed, and we made plans to meet at a public place in her city.

I arrived at the appointed time and waited for Mistress. When she arrived I was extremely pleased: Mistress was as she had described herself, and as I had pictured from all our interactions. This honesty immediately added a level of trust that we couldn't have developed on-line. We ended up talking for several hours, after which we had planned to go our own ways and take some time to think the situation over. However, I was sold and offered to begin our new relationship as soon as it pleased Mistress. It turned out she was also convinced and invited me to her place to finalize the arrangement.

The arrangements were quite simple really. Mistress was quite clear that my relationship with her was completely contingent on a willingness to serve her orally at any time and in any way she specified. This would continue after my castration. If at any time I lost interest, I would be shown the door. I would be denied sexual release except for three occasions. Mistress would allow me to masturbate before the first time she tortured me. She would cause me to come as part of the actual castration. And, she would allow me to have intercourse with her AFTER I was castrated, if I could. The castration itself would be no sooner than 6 months after we started, and Mistress could prolong it for as long as she desired. Until the castration my primary purpose would be to serve as an object of torture, and otherwise service Mistress in any way she desired.

Having signed the agreement, Mistress and I spent a few hours looking through catalogs and placing orders for various "devices". We ordered many kinds of torture devices, particularly to be used on my cock, balls, and nipples. We ordered medical equipment. And, most terrifyingly, we ordered several animal castration devices from a farm catalog.

Ordering all that equipment left Mistress and I both extremely horny, and Mistress decided it was time to get started. She had me strip and start to masturbate, as promised in our agreement. I knew this would be my last orgasm until castration, so I savored it. When I was about to come, Mistress made me stop. After giving me a moment to calm down she had me eat her. I love to perform oral sex anyway, but now I was so horny that I felt like superman. I would have spent days eating her nonstop. After Mistress had her orgasm, she had me start masturbating again. Again she stopped me and had me eat her. This went on a few times. As I got close to orgasm the last time, Mistress started to caress my balls. Within seconds I started to come, and at the first sign of release Mistress closed her hand around my sack and squeezed. Hard. For an instant this enhanced my orgasm, but quickly the pain surged through my body. Mistress did not let go, she squeezed harder. I soon fell to the floor and blacked out from the pain, and only then did Mistress release my balls. When I regained my senses, Mistress had me eat her to orgasm one more time. Then, thankfully, we rested.

The next day Mistress told me to spend a few hours towards getting my affairs in order and I started making arrangements to move to her city. Later I would actually be required to live with her, but she wasn't ready for that yet. That evening I went to Mistress' for another taste of the next 6 months. None of the toys we had ordered had arrived yet, but Mistress was prepared. She had me remove my clothes and then tied me to a chair. She then leaned the chair back against a couch so that my crotch was sticking up in the air. She left the room and returned with a tray. I could smell rubbing alcohol, but I couldn't see in the tray. Mistress took some cotton, dipped it in the tray, and swabbed my cock and balls with it. It burned like hell. When Mistress heard me yell out in pain, she decided to make another pass with the alcohol. I thought that this was going to make for a painful evening, but that was just an appetizer.

Mistress finally brought the tray closer, and I saw it was full of pins and needles. She put a nipple to my lips, which I gently licked and then sucked, while she whispered in my ear the words "pin cushion". These were to become two of the most dreaded words of my existence. Mistress allowed me to suck one nipple for a couple of minutes, then the other. This was to be my one pleasure for the months of torture...that Mistress thoroughly enjoyed and expected me to provide all kinds of oral pleasure to her. Then she took a pin from the tray and pushed it into my sack. I'd never been through anything like this, and the terror far outweighed the pain. But only for the first couple of pins.

Mistress, it turns out, was initially being careful to keep the pins away from my balls. Now she took a long needle and carefully pushed it through the scrotum and right into my left ball. I let out a howl as the mental picture of that needle entering my ball formed. Mistress quickly stuffed a pillow over my face to muffle it. She then went and got a device that she put in my mouth that she could use to control my screams. I would later learn the value of the device for holding a gag, but initially her use was far more kind. The device kept me from closing my teeth, but had a hole into which could be inserted a gag, or a nipple. Mistress could torture me, while keeping a nipple in the hole for me to tongue. That would also muffle my cries.

Mistress took another long needle and pushed it into my right ball. Again I started to scream, and mistress responded by pressing her nipple into my gag hole and her breast down around my nose and mouth. My screams of pain would now result in smothering. Terror once again took over, and I knew I was in over my head. I wanted out, and then I blacked out from lack of oxygen.

I awoke a few moments later to discover that Mistress had quickly removed the pins and needles from my scrotum. What brought me around was the serious burning from the alcohol she used to clean me up afterwards. Mistress then released me and ordered me to eat her, which I did gladly and for a long time. When she was satisfied, she asked if I wanted to end our agreement.

I was shocked at Mistress’ question, and immediately knew the answer was no. I asked her if she was getting what she wanted from me, and she made it clear that she was getting much more. I told her that despite my occasional body language indicating I wasn't happy about the situation, I was getting exactly what I needed and wished to continue. Mistress was clearly pleased, and sent me away for the night.

Over the next several months I was subjected to many different types of torture. Mistress wanted to learn the art of ball stretching, and my balls became her samples. She wanted to try electro-torture, and my cock and balls were perfect. She repeatedly used my balls as pin cushions. One of the most cruel evenings is when she attached wires to needles in my balls and combined electro-torture with pin cushion. Eventually she discovered the joy of torturing my nipples, and we spent a month with these as the main object of her abuse. There were faux castrations, which reminded me of what was ahead. And then there was the vise...the most vicious device used by Mistress, and one that I had invented for her. These and many other tortures are something I need to leave for future mail.

At the end of the 6 month "waiting period" on my castration, Mistress brought out a bowl filled with small pieces of paper. There were 500 of them actually, and Mistress explained that only 10 of the 500 contained anything useful. Those ten each contained a description of a method of castration. Each evening before we began Mistress would pull a piece of paper out of the bowl. If she got one with a castration described on it, that was my night. I might go months with just the normal amount of torture, I might lose my balls that very night.

Mistress told me of some of the castration techniques in the bowl. There were two banding techniques. One, was the same as our faux banding game except the band would not be removed. This allowed Mistress to keep me guessing every time she banded me about if this were "the time". With the band on for too long, my balls would die from lack of oxygen. There was also a paper for the tighter band, obvious designed to kill the balls with little opportunity to back out. There were two ingenious papers, each which just resulted in one of my balls being destroyed by means of a burdizzo. This would allow Mistress to effectively castrate me twice. Mistress wouldn't describe the other techniques she had included, but I could imagine them. She had probably taken one from a news story I knew she enjoyed, where a woman had used Kevlar fishing line to sever a man's balls. And another where she removed the balls from the sack, and tortured them while they were still attached to my body, before finally cutting (or pulling) them free. But the one I feared the most was over a discussion we had months earlier. It was a modification to my vise design that would slowly and totally crush the balls before severing them from the body. Even though I knew that would bring incredible pleasure to Mistress, I thought I would rather die then go through it.

Three months had gone by and I still had my balls. Mistress had made the tortures more severe, and had masturbated me almost to orgasm several times, as she made me think the end was near. Each time would make her incredibly horny, and I'd spend hours satisfying her orally. She also increased the smotherings, once offering to save me from the pain of castration by accidentally taking my life. I thought about the vise, and considered her offer, but I knew that wasn't what either of us wanted.

One day Mistress began her tortures by concentrating on my nipples, and then smothering me until I nearly blacked out. I came to my senses to feel her tugging at my balls, and finally was able to focus on the burdizzo in her hand. She found the cord for the right ball and crushed it with the burdizzo. The pain was far less than the tortures I'd endured, but the mental anguish was extreme. The castration had begun.

Mistress could not contain her excitement. She made me eat her repeatedly. She smothered me again. She made me tongue her ass while she masturbated. And she reminded me that when the other ball went I would get to come, and then she'd see how long enough hormones stayed in my body for us to fuck. Losing my balls was going to be incredible.

Another month went by with Mistress torturing me, but not finishing the castration. Her tortures got even more severe, and so did her desire for me to worship her body and provide oral satisfaction. She was also "going soft" on me, making sure I knew how much she was enjoying herself and that she was the luckiest woman in the world. This gave me incredible pleasure, and I started to look forward to the final destruction.

THE day started like any other. Mistress was torturing me, making me eat her, and smothering me. I was in heaven. After once again smothering me to near blackout with her breast, I saw she was holding a strange device. Within moments a very tight band was around my sack. This wasn't the band from our faux castration game, this was designed to stay on until my sack came off. The moment of truth had arrived. This was actually about the most "humane" form of castration, and I had to believe that Mistress was disappointed.

Mistress started to masturbate me, and rather than seem disappointed she was extremely excited. She got me close to release, then stopped and lead me into the adjoining room. There was the vise, modified as I had described to her. Originally it had been intended to partially crush the balls. Not enough to do damage, just enough to cause great pain. Now it was designed to skewer them, electrocute them, crush them into oblivion, and cut the sack off below the band I was wearing. Mistress kissed me, and told me that her dream choice had been on that day's paper.

Mistress asked me to show that I wanted to proceed. I went over to the vise, strapped down my legs, and lowered my balls into position. I then begged Mistress to proceed. She strapped my arms to ropes hanging from the ceiling, and began to close the vice on my balls. Pins on the face of the vise started to pierce my sack. This hurt, but it was really nothing new. As she closed the vise they pierced my remaining ball. Several of them. Although I'd experienced this before, the pain seemed more intense this time. Mistress stopped to point out the obvious, that with the pins in place any struggling would increase the pain and damage. She began to whip me. As I moved to avoid the last the pins would tear at my remaining good ball and I would howl in pain. Finally Mistress closed the vise so that my balls were starting to crush.

Mistress stopped the vise and let me suck on her nipples. She kissed me, and played with my cock. As I approached orgasm she closed the vise a little more. I was shocked as she placed her knees on the table holding the vise and slipped my cock in her pussy. After all these months! It felt glorious. Mistress made it very clear that she was going to fuck me, a little, but that if I came in her while my balls were attached she would then throw me out on the street. If I controlled myself, I would live with her forever as her eunuch. She then proceeded to fuck me, making sure the pins tore at my balls with every thrust. After a minute of torturous thrusting, in which I came really close to coming and ruining everything, Mistress dismounted. She picked up a little control I hadn't noticed sitting my the table and pressed a button. Burning pain went through my remaining ball, and I shot come across the floor. Mistress was frying my ball, and had given me my promised orgasm.

Mistress shut off the electricity, kissed me, and started cranking the vise closed. I was numb, in shock really. I knew I was in pain, but it seemed to almost be happening to someone else. The vise closed in on my ball, crushing it. Soon my sack split open, and the remains of my balls started to ooze out. When this was happening, Mistress masturbated. She came repeatedly, the strongest when blades on the vise came together to cut my sack from my body. It was over, I was a eunuch.

Mistress cleaned me up, gave me a painkiller, and put me to bed to rest for the night. Before I fell asleep she kissed me, then whispered in my ear "Now you can fuck me, and when the hormones are gone and that's not possible, we can talking about removing your cock". I'd gotten my wish by making the ultimate sacrifice to a woman. But apparently, I still had more to give.