this is a work of fiction and maybe a fantasy or two. i think that i have to get it of af my chest, before i lose my soul.

the changing

by steve

let me give you the reader some info about myself, i am a big guy, 6'3'' and 300 lbs, mostly muscle and a belly, i am now 42 and have been researching and using feminization techniques for the last 5 yrs. i had been in what i had thought a committed, loving marriage with a 12 yr old son who was my life. i had been working my pizza job for 16 yrs and had been everything from a driver to a manager in those yrs. i loved computers and had finally got a old packard-bell for the house. of course i wanted the internet and we got good old aohell and to me, life was good. i got to play with my new toy, learning new things about what else, sex. i have always loved sick twisted fantasies like bondage, kidnapping, and total control. i used to love to cyber with anyone, man, woman, men pretending to be women, whatever. i was good at it, many times writing a story that totally fucked with the mind of whoever wanted to go through it. many time i got compliments of my detail and the fact that they came. it was harmless, and it really made my fantasies in the bedroom off the charts. little did i know that i awakened a beast that i found i could not control.

i was doing a normal clean-up on my machine which i usually performed ever week or so, making more space on my hard drive. and then i saw something in my pics that chilled my very soul. i saw a nude pic, my wife and another man. my mouth dropped, and i checked more pics. not only with a man, but a woman as well. i cried and cussed and tried to understand why. when she came home, i confronted her about it. she wasn't even shocked, telling me that it was my own fault, i had made her love cumming so much she had to more and more, telling me that i had made her a nympomaniac. i didn't know what to think, i loved my wife and to didn't want to leave her, to me knowing no other life. she and my son was one of the only reasons i worked my ass off to keep us afloat and have a decent life. i tried to work with her, letting her have her fun, but even that wasn't enough, she wanted even more, she asked me to join her with her new friends, the swingers club she had just got into with the couple i had seen in the pics, i went, felt uncomfortable, and basically surrendered to her, telling her to go do her thing as long as i wasn't included. it was the first step into my submissiveness.

my wife and i eventually divorced, and i married again, a good girl this time, someone who wanted me to be happy and tried very hard to make sure i was. i was so screwed from my other relationship, i barely could keep it up anymore and i had to take viagra just so i could get off fucking, but i loved eating pussy, staying down there for orgasm after orgasm. of course my new wife loved it, and soon i found that that was i wanted to do too. my dick basically was useless anymore, not that it mattered to me. i was sucumbbing to my fem side. i started wearing bras and even to the point of showing (strangers) on the net in a yahoo chat room for big breasted males. they loved me, telling me how hot my tits looked and it was over from then on. i started taking herbal medicines to make my breasts grow, saw palmento and black cohash, doing breast exercises, anything to make me bigger and more attractive to the people in the group. my wife finally caught me and then marriage number 2 was dead.

alone now and not really giving a shit what happened, i even went further, i found a site that had this guy who did free hypnotism files to enhance breast growth. i thought that this had no chance of working, being that i was too smart to go under, boy, was i wrong. it happened about 2 weeks into listening to the same file called cursed breast growth. i went under, tingling and feeling this file affect me. i really felt my breasts grow as i listen to this calm, monotone voice. i wore my bra as much as i could, even when i went driving to the store, wearing a jacket to cover my madness. between the hypno and the herbs, i was feeling more like a gal more and more every day. trying to be more like a woman in every way. the panties came next, then hose and a girdle. on the outside, i was still this big ole bear of a man, but inside and alone i was ready to go all the way, to find someone to change me totally.

and of course i still had my internet, my fantasy world come to life. i was in every site from bdsm to sissy site, trying to find someone to help me in my cause and then one evening after a couple of drinks and a good smoke, i found myself talking to a woman who wanted to bring it home. her screen name was mistress amber and she lived only a couple of towns away. she wanted to meet me, see if i was worthy. we met in a public place in her town the very next night. she was dressed in black, (of course) and was confident that she could achieve what i had always wanted. she handed me a cd and told me to listen to it every night for the next month and then promptly left. i drove home with anticipation and fear. but there was no stopping me from listening. it was a new hypno file, a total mindfuck, as i went under i was told how i wanted to let mistress do anything she wanted to me, that i had no option, no choice. i ate it up gladly.

when the month was over, i got a e-mail from her to meet her at a park in the city. i was supposed to come dressed and for the first time ever, i dolled up totally, make-up, wig and a long black dress. i may never be a good looking woman, but i saw that i wasn't horrible as one. i went to the spot she had told me to go, near the back of the park. she was sitting there on a park bench smoking a cigarette and i saw that this time she was dressed totally in leather. i went over to her and kissed her feet as i was requested in the files. i felt something painful jab me in my ass and as i tried to see, my vision went cloudy and i went unconcious.

i awoke in a darkened room. i was a bit confused at first and then finally i started to register what had happened. i tried to move but i was restrainted to this bed. my eyes were finally starting to make the room out and i felt electricity shoot through body as i realized i was in a hospital room. oh god, its happening and i can't stop it. she came in about a hour or so and installed a i.v. drip in my left arm, telling me that the hormones inside would probably give me some stomach discomfort but nothing compared to whatelse i would have to endure. i tried to say that no i was just fantasizing, but between the files and her beautiful eyes staring into my soul, i didn't.

i seemed to lose track of the days and nights for a bit after that. the hormones started kicking in very quickly, calming me and making me want to finish the job. mistress amber came in every night putting her wet puss on my hungry tounge and i ate her like never ate pussy in my life. i went to sleep with juice on my face and a smile on my lips. the restraints had disappeared after the first week but i was still kept in the room naked and waiting. then one day my mistress came in carrying this collar and a stack of papers, basically signing my life over to her. at this point i didn't care, just the thought of being owned by her had taken any fear of anything bad out of the equation. i signed everything gladly, and she attached the collar and put her puss on my mouth for attention that i gave gladly. after she was satified, she kissed me for the first time and told me to bend over. another jab and out i went again.

when i awoke, i felt really weird, my chest felt heavy and i really needed to pee. i rose up and then i kinda lost it. I HAD BREASTS! and not just any breasts but huge ones! at least 48 dds and i had even a bigger surprize waiting for me i reached down toward my crotch and i was bandaged there as well with a hose put in to pee. i realized what those papers truly were other than the contract for my submissiveness. i layed back down and slowly felt my new tits. god they were big! how was i supposed to carry these things around anyway? then i guess the drugs kicked back in and i went back to sleep, a small smile on my face.

i finally got up a couple of days later and looked in the mirror, my new body fully seen for the first time. i was really sore and bruised but i had to see. the bandages slowly pealing off my crotch and i saw the my new pussy. i was a bit woozy seeing the changes that had been made to my body. i guess not only had she got the doctors to do the tits and puss but also to inject my lips and remove the hair from every part of my old man's body. that person was gone and i loved my new self. i went to the closet and there was a complete wardrobe of outfits, even shoes my size! i dress as sexy as i thought possible and modeled my new self in the mirror. i looked pretty good at least i thought. i had lost weight during my time out and even with my big frame i was a passable woman. i noticed my collar had been changed to a more feminine style and my eyebrows and hair were cut to match my face. luckily, i never had much of a adams apple so that wasn't a problem. i felt so good, happy again for the first time in years.

mistress amber came in that night and i immediatly fell on my knees thanking her for such a great gift. she attached a chain to my collar and led me out to what i thought had been a hospital but it was a room in her house. she led me to another part of the house and i quickly realized that this was her bedroom. very neatly decorated in the manor of a well-heeled mannered lady as i had already had figured out. she attached the end of my chain to her bed giving me about a 10 ft radius to move around. she told me to strip down which i did willingly and quickly. i was still sore but i wanted to show her what her money had bought. she layed down and spread her legs and i gobbled her up as any woman could.

the week that followed was amazing, she taught me how to walk and apply my make-up and helped me raise my voice even though the hormones had helped alot. i was finally healed and to celebrate my mistress took me out on the town. we had a nice lunch and went shopping for new underthings as i was finally able to hold my breasts inside a new frilly bra. we went out to a underground bar and had some drinks and i got hit on! i felt complete with my new life and new love. the last love i would ever have.

next chapter: the beating begins

i had finally totally healed and the time had come to learn some new training. mistress amber came up to the room and reattached my collar and chain. she pull hard and sent me to my knees, walk on all fours to the basement she ordered as she climbed on my back. the stairs were rough but i made it my breasts dragging the ground. she attached me to a cow-cross and pulled out a leather crop, light licks at first but increasingly stronger until i screamed out, i wasn't used to this but i had to do it for my mistress. after all she owned my soul now. my ass, red and sore from the whipping was now being carressed and i felt a strange sensation envelope my body my nipples hard as rocks and my puss dripping she push her fingers in and tasted my juices slowly licking her fingers and putting her fingers accross my mouth as well. at this point she took me down from the cross and led me over to what appeared to be a torture table. leaning me onto it she tied my hands and feet to the bars spreading me open and then brought what looked like a giant mixer with a dildo attached to it. she slowly pushed the 9 in dildo up to my pussy and turned the machine on it slowly went into my wet puss and fucked me deeply. she grabbed the crop and whipped my ass in time to the machine plunging in me. i was in heaven moaning and crying at the same time. at this point she reached down and attached clamps to my clit and nipples and went back to the whipping and rubbing. the pain was great but i didn't care by this time. i was begging her to do whatever she wanted. she said to me, anything? yes mistress amber i moaned. good she said and then quickly i felt her pull on my clit clamp as she peirced it in one quick move. i barely could react as she did that and moved to my breasts. two more sharp sticks and i was done i lost whatever composer i had and pissed all over the floor. before i could react to anything else she hit my ass hard with the crop making me scream out. piss on my floor, you bitch! i'm sorry mistress amber i'm so sorry please no more, no more i cried weakly, oh we are just getting started, when im done with you, you will obey me compleatly and totally whatever i desire.

she reached over to a shelf and i watched as she put on a strap-on, black and what looked like 10-12 inches long. oh god i can't do anymore i thought in my whimpering mind. i thought she would replace the fuck machine in my puss but i was wrong as i saw her lube it up and then my ass. my mind screamed but i knew better than to argue. she pushed it into my ass until the head was capture by the schinter muscle 2 cocks at once started pounding me. she kept going deeper and deeper and all of a sudden i felt my body stiffen and i tried to push back on my mistresses new cock, i accepted my fate gladly. i wanted it all inside me and she tried to oblige. i came so much that it was dripping and gushing on the floor mixing with my pee and sweat. i think i passed out.

when i awoke i was in my mistress's bed chained and alone. my new piercings were also tied together with a long silver chain connecting all three in a triangle. my body hurt but it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i saw a note next to the headphones and cd player. it just said play me. i put on the headphones and hit play. her voice rang in my head as she told me what i was going to be. "as i have told you, i have done to you, now it is time for you to earn your keep, i have made you a room down the hall from mine and you will be having visitors every night, men, women, group sex, whatever brings in the most money, after all, i need to make my investment back! you are going to do things you never thought possible and between the hooking and the movies i plan to make off you sucking, fucking, eating and lots and lots of anal, ha ha ha! but don't worry my dear, i still will be doing what i did tonight to you anytime i need to get rid of some aggression or teach you a lesson in manners. remember, you asked for this and i delivered. you have heard paybacks a bitch and so am i."

i cried as i went to my room, my fate sealed